Chapter 4 - A spectacle (Translated by Xing and edited by Souhi)
Tang Xue received the shock of her life from Li Yubing and was truly well behaved for two days. On the third day, she even unprecedentedly gave him the shell of the Kinder Joy she made him bought for her as a show of her altruism towards him.
Li Yubing: "……"
Wow, truly, he was so touched.
Yet another few days passed and Li Yubing's face had more or less healed. In the end, he did not end up with a pockmarked face. It was just that on the right of his nose bridge, there was now an additional teeny tiny light brown mole. The mole was somewhat close to his right eye. If his eye was the moon, then this mole would be a tiny star gazing into and accompanying this moon.
Gosh, it looked pretty good actually.
Tang Xue used her finger to lightly touch the mole and asked: "Does it still hurt?"
The fingertips of a girl were tender and soft. Unaccustomed to this, Li Yubing shifted his head away and did not say anything.
"Li Yubing, let's play house!"
"I don't——"
Li Yubing was not even able to complete his words of rejection before he was dragged away by Tang Xue.
Photo from Chinese drama “A love so beautiful”Lately, a show called 《War and Beauty[1]》 had been broadcasting on television. Tang Xue gathered a bunch of people. She was in charge of playing the emperor while everyone else were the concubines. As for Li Yubing, he was the most favoured concubine in the entire harem.
Tang Xue hooked an arm onto Li Yubing's shoulder. The rest of the children surrounded them and loudly addressed her as "Your Majesty". Tang Xue nodded with relish, her bearing and expression absolutely giving off the aura of a fatuous emperor.
She patted Li Yubing's shoulder: "Beloved concubine, say something. You're going to fall out of favour if you remain silent."
Li Yubing expressed a pained and valiant look reminiscent of a martyr like Liu Hulan[2].
These two people were on completely different frequencies. One was re-enacting a palace drama while the other was re-enacting a war film.
Tang Xue scratched her head and wondered what she should do next. She tilted her head to look at her beloved concubine Li Yubing…… Oh ho ho, got it!
Without warning, she leaned over and smacked her lips on the cheeks of this beloved concubine.
Li Yubing turned blue in the face.
There was someone else who also went blue in the face.
Principal Tang originally planned to sit in and observe the next lesson of Tang Xue's class. There was still two minutes before lesson and he was standing outside of the classroom with a few other teachers, just in time to see Tang Xue seizing Li Yubing's shoulder like a wicked little tyrant and even planting a kiss on him.
The second grade of primary school! And already acting like a rogue![3] Head over to teafragrance[dot]wordpress[dot]com if translator's notes are missing.
In face of so many teachers too!
How was he going to maintain his dignity as the school principal!
Exhale—— exhale——
Principal Tang was so angry that he started breathing heavily. With his enraged breathing and flared nostrils, the atmosphere turned oddly comedic.
"TANG, XUE!"
Seeing how the situation was not looking good, Tang Xue had long disappeared back into the classroom.
She meekly stayed at her seat for the entire lesson, unquestionably well-behaved and not daring to twitch a single muscle.
Principal Tang was of course not going to let her off so easily.
Thus, when Tang Xue reached home that day, she was once, once, once again sentenced to stand as punishment.
"Look at how old you are now, how are you still acting like a child?" Principal Tang pointed at Tang Xue and admonished.
"I am still a child in the first place."
"You! Have you no sense of shame? I feel embarrassed on your behalf!" Principal Tang said while deliberately making a cutting motion across his face, "It's absolutely mortifying!"
At this moment, Mrs Tang came back with a grocery basket in her hands. Today was her day off in lieu.
The scene that Mrs Tang saw was one that she was all too familiar with. She changed her shoes and asked: "What's the issue this time?"
"Go ask her!"
Tang Xue pitifully looked at her mother: "Mommy, today I answered all of the teacher's questions correctly and was even praised. And then daddy made me stand as punishment."
Mrs Tang: "……???"
Principal Tang hurriedly explained: "It's not because of that. This child openly teased a male classmate and even kissed him. If it wasn't that I personally witnessed it myself, I wouldn't have believed it." He went on to recap what he saw earlier that day.
Principal Tang was someone who had been in the academic circle for some years. All along, he was able to competently manage the children under his care. However, when it came to his own child, he was facing all kinds of headaches.
Mrs Tang crouched down and asked Tang Xue: "Why did you kiss Li Yubing?"
"Because I was playing the emperor. Li Yubing was the most favoured concubine."
Mrs Tang was tickled, "You assigned yourself a pretty high ranking position." While saying this, she glanced at Principal Tang. "The child's playing house. Don't use your adult train of thoughts to decipher her actions too deeply."
Principal Tang was slightly mollified. However, he then emphasized: "Playing house is also unacceptable. She's already a grown lady."
Mrs Tang rubbed Tang Xue's tiny head and spoke: "Tang Xue, you've grown up. You can't go about kissing guys or let guys kiss you either."
"Why?"
"You'll get mouth ulcers after kissing and have to receive an injection before getting better. In a while, follow me to the hospital to get a shot."
Tang Xue's originally radiant looking face collapsed. She gave a little whimper: "Oh."
Thinking about it, she was somewhat discontent: "Why can Mommy kiss Daddy then?"
"Cough."
The two adults' face reddened.
Principal Tang noisily cleared his throat. In an exaggerated tone that attempted to mask the awkwardness, he replied: "This is because I am a principal. No matter who principals kiss or who kisses principals, both parties will not fall sick."
"Oh——" Tang Xue was greatly enlightened, "No wonder Daddy can kiss Teacher Huang."
Upon hearing this, Mrs Tang's face darkened. She stood up in a whoosh, rolled up her sleeves and was about to start thrashing things out when she abruptly realized that her daughter was still there. Afraid that she would scare the child, she restrained herself and with a grim face, said: "Tang Hongjiang. Explain yourself."
"The child's speaking nonsense! I'm innocent! What Teacher Huang, I don't even know this person!"
Mrs Tang dragged him into the bedroom and shut the door with a bang.
Afterwards, she pinched his ear and gritted her teeth: "I'll give you one more chance. Explain."
"Ouch, hurts, hurts, hurts! Wife, I'm innocent, I'm really innocent. I've been framed by Tang Xue. That little rascal must had held a grudge against me. Just wait and see how I'll discipline her. I, I, ow, hurts, hurts, hurts."
"Are you coming clean or not?"
"Come clean about what?"
The soundproofing of the bedroom was excellent. Tang Xue did not know what her parents were doing in the bedroom. However, there was an uneasy sense of apprehension that made her heavily and repeatedly thumped the door: "Daddy, Mommy, quickly come out……"
After knocking for some time, the door finally pulled opened. Principal Tang walked out.
With a bruised left eye and a gloomy face, he looked down at Tang Xue and said: "You little rascal, hurry up and explain clearly. What Teacher Huang or Teacher XYZ, you've got guts to lie and set up your own father—your actual father by flesh and blood—at such a young age. You treacherous and unlucky child……" The more Principal Tang spoke the more aggrieved he felt, to the point that tears were nearly coming out.
Tang Xue was a little frightened and retreated two steps back.
Mrs Tang came out with folded arms. She deeply exhaled and tried to even her tone as much as possible before questioning Tang Xue: "Tang Xue, tell Mommy. Who is Teacher Huang?"
"Teacher Huang is the gate security——"
"Gate security! Tang Hongjiang, you animal, making a pass at even the gate security!"
"She's speaking nonsense! The gate security is male, his surname is not Huang, and he's already 60 years old!"
"——security grandpa's dog."
Both husband and wife were dumbstruck.
Mrs Tang placed a hand against her forehead. She did not know how to face her husband.
Principal Tang exploded: "That dog is called Huang Shi, you unlucky child, why on earth are you calling it Huang Lao Shi (Teacher Huang)[4], it's called Huang Shi! Huang Shi! You treacherous child, you're going to be the end of me……"
"Daddy….."
Principal Tang waved his hands: "No, no. no. I don't deserve this honour. From now on, you're my Daddy instead."
Author's Bonus Content
Q: When did you have your first kiss?
Top Comment: The second grade of primary school.
Originally translated at teafragrance[dot]wordpress[dot]com. Head there for extra content or to leave feedback and comments on the novel translation.Translator's Notes:
[1] War and Beauty was a 2004 Hong Kong period drama centered on the power struggles of imperial harem in the Qing dynasty.
[2] Liu Hulan was a young Chinese spy who died at age 14 because of her allegiance to the Communist Party during the Chinese Civil War. Hailed as a hero in Chinese history.
[3] The original phrase is 耍流氓 (shuǎ liú máng). 耍 has connotations of play, act, behave or trick while 流氓 more directly refers to ruffian, hooligan or gangster. It is a slang used to refer to people who are behaving or intending to behave in an indecent manner, take liberties with or flirtatiously tease another person. This term is non-gender specific and can either be used jokingly among friends or in outrage depending on the scenario. Take note of this phrase as it will come up again and again in this story. You may spy it in a lot of other Chinese novels as well 🙂 I plan to translate this phrase as "rogue" for the remainder of the novel but this translation (as well as any other attempts to translate it) may be a little lacking and does not fully do the term justice.
[4] Hehe. If it's not clear by now the dog is called "Huang Shi" while Teacher Huang is "Huang Lao Shi" in Chinese. So similar but not the same.