Published at 30th of June 2019 09:12:18 PM
Chapter 12
Chapter 12 – My Nest (1)
In the end, I could not tolerate it anymore and spoke my mind . Sovieshu stared at me in amazement . My eyes were hot with unshed tears, but I bit my tongue to hold them back . The empress should not cry as a matter of pride .
“They said they heard rumors, not that I said them . Are you blaming me for rumors for which you don’t know the source?”
“No matter how much I think about it, there isn’t anyone else but you who could benefit from it . ”
“What would I gain?”
“Rashta is like a romantic rival to you, is she not?”
“Wasn’t it you who told me the story of Rashta being a runaway slave? You never said a word about the source of the rumor then . I didn’t know before, but it could have been you from the beginning . ”
Sovieshu’s accusation was one-sided and insulting . I managed to steady my breath and keep my composure . But the more I tried to keep calm, the more suspicious Sovieshu seemed to be of me . It took a moment, but finally I managed to force out a voice that sounded normal .
“Your concubine is not a rival to me . ”
“What?”
“You are not my lover, so how can she be a threat to me?”
Sovieshu’s expression wavered . I straightened my back and gave him a smile practiced hundreds of times in front of a mirror .
“The concubine is precious to you, while I am just like everyone else . I am tiring of this, so let me say it again, Your Majesty–don’t get me involved with you and your concubine . ”
I whirled around and saw myself through the door . The finance minister was nervously pacing down the hallway, and he turned his head in my direction . His eyes widened when his gaze fell upon me . It was obvious that I couldn’t manage my facial expressions .
I smiled at him, then quickly left the hallway and made to the western grounds . I ran to my secluded nest chair where there were no ladies-in-waiting and buried myself inside . I hugged my body, and stifled my sobs as best I could . The empress does not cry . She does not cry in front of others . In my head, Sovieshu and his concubine were so small and unimportant that they could not shake me . But in my heart, there was a hole .
Eventually, it turned dark . I stayed cocooned in my chair for a long time . I was sure that my ladies-in-waiting were searching for me, and I slowly unfolded my body . After sitting curled in one position for hours, my arms and legs were as stiff as a wooden doll .
Then, there was a piercing shriek from afar . I looked up from my nest chair, and saw a large bird coming down from the sky .
“Ah!”
It was the handsome bird, the one that brought the note from the drunken foreigner . It headed for me again, then landed in my lap and peered at me up close . It looked so adorable that I burst into giggles, and the bird blinked its large eyes and tilted its head .
“You came to see me . ”
Again, a note was tied to the bird’s leg . I unfurled the note and saw written in neat script,
– Does it need a name? You can give it one if necessary .
I studied the bird, and the bird looked back at me . Its gaze felt more penetrating than usual . Did it know that I was feeling depressed?
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“Bird . ”
“Bird . ”
I looked into its bright eyes, and almost believed that it understood me .
No, that was foolish…but intelligent birds could understand people, right? I hesitated for a moment, looked around, then hugged the bird and whispered to its feathery head .
“This…is my secret place . ”
The bird shifted and gave me a blank look . I petted the bird’s back, and continued again awkwardly .
“There’s nowhere I can cry . But here I can cry to my heart’s content . It’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone else . ”
The bird blinked its large eyes again . Then, it slowly lifted a wing and brushed it against my cheek as if to comfort me, and I smiled .
“Nice bird . ”
I kissed its head in gratitude, and the bird made a funny squawking noise and tapped the note with its beak .
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Did it want a reply? It was a really clever creature . Fortunately, I carried note paper and a pocket pen with me . I took them out, meditated on the right name for the bird, and wrote it down .
– The bird’s name is ‘Queen . ’
When I finished the note, I looked up to see the bird staring at my writing as if it could read the letters . The bird tapped the word “Queen” with a large claw .
“That’s your name . If you could give this to your master . ”
I tied the note to the bird’s leg, then gently hugged it again .
The empress . Yes…no matter what happened, I was the empress . No matter what Sovieshu said, the concubine was the concubine and the empress was the empress . I pulled out a handkerchief, patted the swollen area around my eyes, and took a breath . Remember what my mother said — I shouldn’t get involved with them .
“People don’t expect me to be an Empress that is loved by the Emperor . ”
“My goal in life is not to be loved by the Emperor, either . “
I had learned and lived to be the most perfect empress . I was human, and I would be hurt, but I couldn’t sink into despair . I already had enough pity for myself . Now I had to get up .
I drew my breath, kissed the bird’s head again, and let it fly into the sky . The bird seemed unwilling to part with me for a moment and circled once over my head, but it finally turned away and flew far away .
I practiced my smile once more, then returned to the palace .
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The large bird flew straight to a nearby mountain . It skimmed the trees until it found a suitable outcrop, which was already occupied with a flock of birds, and landed there . The appearance of the large bird sent the other smaller birds scattering, and the large bird perched itself on a rock in the open space .
Then, incredibly, the bird transformed into a young man . He was handsome, extremely so, and his entire body was finely proportioned and shaped with well-defined muscles .
“Calling a male ‘Queen . ’”
The young man grumbled to himself and scratched his head . A bluebird, which was sitting on a nearby tree, hopped down and also transformed into a man, this time with blue hair . The blue-haired man pulled a red cape from another tree and started to scold the other .
“What do you mean? You said you were going to scout . You didn’t go anywhere else, did you–”
“O-oh . No, I’ve been scouting . ”
“For beauties?”
“What are you talking about? I went to the palace, the palace . ”
“…Are you sure?”
The handsome young man grimaced when the blue-haired man stared at him distrustfully .
“You don’t believe me?”
The blue-haired man swung the red cape around the young man’s shoulders .
“That will never happen . But please pay attention to your actions, Your Highness . Remember that you are the heir to the Western Kingdom . ”