T/N: A few announcements before we get started:
First, Occulace, Alice’s last name, has been changed to Archelaus (pronounced R-chuh-lay-us) with the help of Solistia from HaruPARTY. Thank you Solistia! I like this so much better.
Second, because of how long it takes me to translate, I have decided to aim for one chapter per week. They will probably come out on the weekends sometime. If I manage to translate more, or finish early, I’ll put them up as they come! Enjoy~
Backlit By the Setting Sun
Of the two people who caused my parents to fall into their current unhappy state… Well, to put it bluntly, I'm one of them.
Part of the reason this all happened is because of the accident from two years ago. I lost my voice and developed a heart condition which worried my mother so much that she stopped leaving the house. Unfortunately, this took its toll on not only her social life, but also her health. Because of her sudden disappearance, many bad rumors started spreading about her, only causing her anxiety to get worse. And, as her health slowly deteriorated, so did her relationship with Father.
The other person who caused this mess was one of the maids who is currently working in our estate. She aggravated my parents’ already hurting relationship as well as mercilessly threw me, a mere child of three, into the cruel world of adults. As if this wasn’t enough, she was even the reason I lost my voice.
It all happened on that fateful day two years ago: the day when that maid started telling me that everything was my fault.
◇
That day, I had been reading through a simple story book for practice with spelling. Because the language of this world is pretty similar to English, reading is sufficient for memorizing lots of words.
At the time, I was sitting at a table in our lovely greenhouse garden. Although the day was quite chilly, the glass walls let the light spill in, keeping the air pleasantly warm and illuminating the wide, open space.
You might be wondering what could have possessed a regular 3-year-old (the me without 20+ years of past life experience) to just sit there obediently and study. It wasn’t because I was studious or anything, but I wanted to be able to read this book to my mom, since I always loved when she read it to me. Those hours that we spent together were some of my happiest moments, so I wanted to try doing the same thing for her.
As I was concentrating, I heard a voice call out to me. When I lifted my head, I saw Rouge, a slant-eyed, red-haired maid, bringing me tea.
“Here you are, Alice-sama.”
“Sank you, Rouge~”
Rouge smiled sweetly when she heard my lisping thanks and glanced over my shoulder to see what I was reading.
“Well aren’t you enthusiastic about studying, Young Mistress. No less than what I would expect from the Master and Mistress’s daughter.”
I giggled in embarrassment from the praise and my cheeks slightly reddened.
Originally, I was very shy and quiet, but since Rouge had been working in our estate since before I was born, I felt a certain degree of comfort when I was with her. In addition, she had just praised me by saying that I was like my mother and father, so I was overjoyed.
“I wonder if I can read as well as Mother yet?”
“I’m sure you will in no time. And once that happens, you’ll be offering to read for your mother and putting HER to bed, right?”
She said this with a big, impish grin on her face, so I knew she was teasing me.
“Jeez, don’t laugh!” I pouted. “I will definitely make Mother happy!”
“Ufufu, yes, I’m sure you will. Please do your best,” Rouge conceded, as she looked down and gave me a soft smile.
Incidentally, this way of smiling with a downcast gaze seems to be a habit of Rouge’s. When she does this, her eyes mostly close so they look like crescent moons and her lips softly curl upward. I had come to really like this expression of hers.
“You’ve been reading this book for quite some time, right? ….Oh, yes! Young Mistress, do you want to try a challenging yourself with something slightly more difficult?”
Something more difficult? When I gave her a blank look, Rouge explained that she had some interesting looking books when she was cleaning Father’s library.
“He was probably planning to show you when Young Mistress is able to read and understand more words since there are a few picture books in the library.”
“Waa, really?”
“On second thought, four new books might still be too difficult, huh?”
With that reply, she gave a mischievous grin and said, “Young Mistress, the key to improvement is to tackle new challenges even before someone else asks you to. So, let’s keep this a secret from Master and Mistress so that we can surprise them, okay?”
“Ooh! ….surprising them definitely sounds fun….. okay!”
Since we now shared a secret, Rouge lowered her voice and started whispering in my ear, “When you go into the library, they are on the bookshelf furthest to your right, Young Mistress. The simpler books are located on the lowest shelf. I even saw a book with a princess on the front cover!”
As soon as I heard the word princess, my interest was piqued.
“A princess?! Waaaa! Rouge, are there any books about animals, too?”
“Yes, there were. Young Mistress likes princesses and animals, right?”
I was so excited, I could hardly contain it. If my father was already planning to give these books to me, I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to take a look just a bit early. And, if I showed them how good I’d gotten at reading, I was sure they’d be super surprised and praise me for it.
With those childish thoughts, I couldn’t wait and decided to sneak into the library that evening.
◇
Father is almost never in the library right before dinner, and our butler and servants are busy with dinner preparations, so they shouldn’t be there either. That small window of time is my chance.
If I were to just stride in like I owned the place and start reading, I’m sure Father would get angry with me, so instead I tiptoed in when nobody was around. The huge brown-oak bookshelves were all lined up on one wall, so started looking from the bookshelves on the right, just as Rouge had suggested.
“Hmmm….. furthest to the right…. lowest shelf….
I poked around on the bottom shelf, and, just like she said, there were a few books with brighter colors and pictures on the covers. After looking at a few, I finally found the one that Rouge was talking about.
“Waa! So pretty!”
Flopping down on the floor, I opened the heavy book. The intermingled smell of parchment and ink made my chest swell in anticipation. Though as soon as my eyes spied the page, I realized how difficult the book is. I could see one or two simple words that I recognized, but the rest were unknown and the phrases seemed to be written in the old style. I somehow managed to read through one full page, but I understood barely any of it.
“Father probably thought this is still too hard for me.”
That’s why he hadn’t given the book to me yet. Even though I was really disappointed, I couldn’t help but agree with his assessment. As I was trying to place the book back on the shelf, one of the pages suddenly fell out of it.
“Ah! Did it get torn out?!”
I quickly stooped to pick up what appeared to be a document that had been wedged between the pages of the book. Since I didn’t accidentally rip out a page, I started to feel relieved…. But only for a second. Then surprise set in.
“It says… Alice… on here.”
The first thing I ever learned how to read and write was my name, “Alice Rebecca Archelaus” and it was clearly written on a section of this document.
“Why is my name written here?”
Curious, I started looking for other words that I recognized on the page. Father’s name was also on it.
“And this spelling… what was it again? Umm….”
The next few words appeared over and over.
“This is… secret… And this is… what was it? Oh yeah, promise. And this…?”
As I read the word allowed, I sharply sucked in a breath.
“Abandoned…. child…..?’
Alarm bells started going off inside my head. My arms and legs felt ice cold, and I clenched my fingers around the document unconsciously.
It would be dangerous if I tried to read any more than this. I instinctively knew that if I continued reading, a harsh reality would be waiting for me; one that I didn’t want to accept. But I couldn’t just stop halfway. The peace of mind of knowing that I had just misunderstood was tantalizingly close. So I kept reading.
“Secret, promise, Alice Rebecca Archelaus, abandoned, child, sell, Heimnis, to, Siegmund Stephan Archelaus”
The fragments of the document that I could understand, I read aloud. I couldn’t understand even half of the details, but the little that I did was enough. Even when when I changed the ordering of the words that I knew, I couldn’t manage to come up with any other explanation.
I tried to return the book to its place on the shelf, but my trembling fingers kept dropping it. When I finally managed to wedge it back in, I fled from the room with the document tightly gripped in my hand.
I left in search of Rouge, the one who had guided me to that book.
Although all the rest of the servants were busy preparing the estate for nightfall, I was able to find her immediately. She was waiting in front of my room.
“Oh! Young Mistress. Did you manage to find the book?”
In the light of the setting sun, Rouge’s red hair glowed almost as if it was on fire.
“Hic….hic… Rou…ge…”
Seeing me standing there ghastly pale and shaking, Rouge froze for one moment, and then promptly pulled me into the room.
“There, there, what’s wrong? You look so pale…. you poor thing.”
Looking back now, with the eyes of an adult, I realize that for her to see me, the young mistress, in such a state, it was strange for her to bring me into the room without having called for anyone.
“Rouge… I found something strange.”
“Oh? What did you find?”
Rouge gave me her usual, soft smile.
“This…..”
As an adult, Rouge should definitely be able to read it. I wanted her to deny the strange reality the document suggested. I tried to give her the document, but my hands were shaking, and my fingers which had gripped the page for such a long time refused to open. So grabbing my hand, Rouge unclenched my fingers one by one.
“Oh, isn’t this one of Master’s work documents? He’ll get mad, you know. If this is an important document, then he'll definitely scold you.”
With a slightly chastising look on her face, Rouge opened the now balled up parchment and started reading aloud.
“Orphan Contract of Sale. The details of this contract are to remain strictly confidential and kept between only the involved parties. Director Imphidose of the Heimnis Imperial Orphanage agrees to sell one baby girl under the direct custody of said orphanage to Siegmund Stephan Archelaus for the price of 100 gold coins.”
Rouge read this out confidently, all the while with the same soft smile on her face. When she stopped, she looked up and stared at me. As soon as our eyes met, my whole body stiffened. And for the next instant I thought I would faint. My body was shaking as intense waves of chills crept up my spine.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening!
“…………. Young Mistress? There is nothing, not one thing, that is incorrect on here, you know?”
Rouge was no longer looking at the floor in her usual manner, but was now looking straight at me. It was my first time looking into her eyes, and in their depths I saw only madness. It was as if they were telling me that she enjoyed hurting and threatening others. And roiling inside them was a deepset hatred for something.
“Ah–!”
The blaring alarm bell that had been going off in my head was now so loud that it felt real and as if it would cause my eardrums to burst. I was no longer seeing what was in front of me. I could feel a strange, cold, and dark feeling pulling at my senses.
In that moment, I forgot even the document's contents as the sense of impending danger I felt from Rouge was bearing down at me.
“Ah–……ah–……?”
I tried to run, but my legs wouldn’t hold my weight and I fell back. Kneeling down, Rouge brought her face close to mine.
“You are indeed the Master and Mistress’s child. So stupid and naive, you don’t understand a thing, do you?”
“….! ….!!”
I wanted to scream, to drown out Rouge’s voice, but my throat wouldn’t let out a sound. Since my voice wouldn’t come out, I tried flailing my arms, hoping to keep her away from me, but she seized them both and and roughly pinned me down. She was holding me so tightly that I thought her fingers would leave bruises on my skin.
“Now, Alice-sama, shall I teach you some new words? This word here? Is 'orphan'. And this one is 'sell'. And when you put them together, the sold little orphan, that makes you, Alice-sama.”
With crazed, wide open eyes, Rouge shoved the documents into my face, showing me the words. Her eyes were hazy yet also glittering in excitement as she stared at me with utter contempt.
I couldn’t believe that the smile that I had always liked was hiding such scary and disgusting eyes. All those times, every time she used that smile, did it always hold such ridicule? All this time, the real reason she made that expression was to hide this burning hatred? The relationship that I’d always thought to be warm, and the good memories that I thought I had, all of them were shattering.
“Oh! That’s right! Didn’t you want to read this for the Mistress tonight to show her how skilled you’ve gotten? If you read her something this difficult, I’m sure she’ll praise you!”
Rouge said this with the same kind smile and fake, cheerful expression she had on earlier today. I was already incapable of screaming, so only choked sounds were coming out as I trembled in fear.
“The Mistress knows nooothing about any of this. She doesn’t know that her child died directly after being born. Or that you were just some orphan nobody that your father picked up who just happened to have the same hair color and looked oh so similar. Don’t you think it’s pitiable not knowing? Doesn’t it make you want to let her know?”
Rouge continued in an entranced voice, “There’s no child between my beloved Master and that woman, you know. Their love has born no fruit!! …. My Master, ahhh, my Master will be throwing away such a worthless woman very soon…. I should be the one giving him happiness! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!”
Rouge was staring at nothing while muttering about her own Dear Master when she once again turned back and grabbed me.
“Young Mistress, do you know what the nobility thinks of people like orphans…… what they think of greedy, vulgar peasants?
“Ah–” is the only thing I managed to get out of my dry throat. Rouge had said I was an orphan, so she’s talking about me.
“Normally, nobles will hate it if a commoner so much as speaks to them directly. Furthermore, for those commoners of uncertain birth, the nobility find it unpleasant to even see them. Mistress is known to be such a devoted philanthropist, but I wonder if she could retain that facade after knowing the truth?”
Hearing this, my face went slack. I couldn’t seem to accept the reality and I no longer had any feeling in my arms or legs.
“Of knowing that her precious only daughter died long, long ago and that the one who has taken her place is some filthy beggar who is so wholly unrelated to her. To know that Master has tricked her all this time. Oh my, she might just go mad? What do you think, Alice-sama? This really does seem like a secret that must be kept, no matter what, right?! You must pay attention and not be careless now….”
After saying this in a vicious voice, she finally released my arm and was no longer pinning me down. She then forcefully linked her pinky finger with mine, imitating the gesture of a promise.
“Little Puppet who was made out of Master’s kindness, don’t go spouting your mouth off unnecessarily now, okay? Alice-sama isn’t allowed to say anything. Let’s protect Mistress together, shall we? Can you promise me?”
My trembling lips, formed the shape of saying, “yes.”
For a moment, I imagined Mother finding out the truth and her falling into despair…. and Father throwing me away since I had lost my usefulness… so I ended up answering on reflex. Or trying to, because my throat had cramped closed and no longer allowed my voice to come out.
And then I finally fainted.
The last thing I saw was Rouge. I couldn’t see her face because it was backlit by the setting sun, making it appear to be black.
——————Rouge—————-T/N: That was…. heavy. I was feeling really evil while translating some of Rouge’s lines. She is so awful! Poor Alice-chan!