There was a long silence. "You've suffered greatly, I know," Obi-Wan said finally, his voice grave. "But you are not alone, Ferus." He spoke as if he could see inside Ferus's head.
Maybe he could.
The two men stood silently for several moments, absorbing the emotion of the situation, letting it flow through and between them. This was the Jedi way, to acknowledge, and move on.
Gradually, Ferus pulled himself together, accepting the new reality. As if sensing his ability to continue, Obi-Wan spoke. He told Ferus what had happened to him on Tatooine, how he and Luke had faced Darth Vader on the Death Star...how he had fallen.
"It's imperative that Luke not learn the truth about his father," Obi-Wan said urgently.
"He's not ready."
"I don't see how I can train him without revealing his past," Ferus argued. "It wouldn't be fair to him."
"You won't be training him," Obi-Wan said. "Luke has learned all he needs to know for the moment, or at least all he can absorb. He needs time."
"What he needs is a lightsaber lesson!" Ferus argued. "Time won't give him control of the Force, or teach him how to fight the battles you know he will face."
"But it will allow him to discover the kind of man he is."
And without our guidance, what kind of man will he be? Ferus thought. Ferus thought. How will we How will we learn whether darkness dwells inside of him? learn whether darkness dwells inside of him?
But out of respect for the fallen Master, he kept this fear to himself.
"In other words, you want to watch and wait," he said, instead. "As usual."
"The time when I could give you orders is long behind us," Obi-Wan said. "I can only ask that you trust me."
"It would mean keeping my identity from him," Ferus warned. "Allowing him to believe that he's truly alone."
"He's not alone," Obi-Wan pointed out. "He has Leia."
And so they came to the subject Ferus had been hoping to avoid. "And Leia, what of her? You would have me continue to lie to her as well? Let her fight side by side with her brother, never knowing who he is-or what she she is?" is?"
"You have many secrets from her."
It plagued him. Each morning, Ferus woke up, wondering, Is this the day? Will I Is this the day? Will I finally reveal everything? finally reveal everything? But something always held him back. But something always held him back. She wasn't ready She wasn't ready, he told himself. Not yet.
Now he wondered whether that was caution-or fear. While Luke seemed so youthful and naive, Leia was wise and strong. She was everything that Obi-Wan hoped Luke would become-even if Obi-Wan, so focused on Luke, couldn't see it.
Just like Anakin. Ferus immediately tried to squelch the thought. Obi-Wan had been so determined to see the best in Anakin, so sure that his Padawan was the Chosen One, superior to all others. How much had that certainty blinded him to the dangerous reality? Ferus immediately tried to squelch the thought. Obi-Wan had been so determined to see the best in Anakin, so sure that his Padawan was the Chosen One, superior to all others. How much had that certainty blinded him to the dangerous reality?
This was different, Ferus told himself. It was understandable that Obi-Wan focused on Luke, even to the point of overlooking Leia's potential. But Ferus had no such excuse. If Obi-Wan had deemed Luke ready for the truth-or part of it, at least-maybe he owed Leia the same.
"Only you know what Leia is capable of, and what she needs," Obi-Wan said. Again, Ferus wondered if the Jedi Master could penetrate his thoughts. "As I ask for your trust, I give you mine."
Only then did Ferus realize how much he'd been hoping Obi-Wan would tell him what to do. Much as he hated taking orders, this was one decision he'd prefer leaving to someone else.
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
Hundreds of survivors crowded into the large chamber, their bodies packed together.
There was no space large enough for the thousands of Alderaan survivors who would have wanted to attend a memorial. So these six hundred had been drawn by lot. Everyone else would-if they chose-watch a Live Holonet broadcast.
Var Lyonn introduced Leia, then stepped off the podium, joining Han behind the stage. "She's rather magnificent, isn't she?" Lyonn murmured. Han, who didn't trust the man, answered with a terse nod.
But he agreed.
Leia stood before the crowd for several long moments without speaking. Han didn't know how she could stand it, staring out at their miserable faces. He looked away from them, up at the arched ceiling, its ribbons of colored transparisteel showering the room with dancing greens and blues.
"We will never replace what we have lost," Leia said slowly. She spoke softly, but the circling ampdroids carried her voice throughout the chamber. "We can only remember it."
She pressed a button on the podium, and a large viewscreen behind her flickered to life. There, in vibrant, living color, were the Alderaan grass seas. The skies alive with swooping thrantas. The polar sea shimmering with ice.
There were gasps from the audience. A few muffled sobs. And then a solemn silence.
The images were unrelenting: The towering Oro Woods, threaded with glittering rainbow-colored lichen. The imposing Castle Lands, casting their solemn shadow over the surrounding plains. As a lost world flickered behind her, Leia spoke of the beauty of Alderaan and those who lived there. She spoke of the lives lost, never once mentioning the losses she'd personally suffered. That was something she never spoke of, Han had noticed.
Publicly, at least, she mourned the destruction of Alderaan as its sovereign-never as a fellow citizen who had lost her family and her home.
"Upon this stage is an empty capsule," Leia told the crowd. "And now I ask you, each of you, to fill it. With your memories and your keepsakes, with gifts for the ones you lost, with symbols and reminders of what you miss the most. There is a home here for each of your memories. And when this capsule is sealed, it will be jettisoned into space. Into the debris field that exists where there should be a planet. I'm told that some call it the Graveyard, but I choose to believe that Alderaan lives on there, not in space, but in spirit.
This capsule will do what all of us long to do, and never can. It will return home."
There was a pause, so silent and still that it seemed the room had stopped breathing.
And then a young woman in the front row climbed onto the stage. She paused before the empty capsule, her lips moving soundlessly. Then she dropped a small, polished stone inside. Soon she was surrounded by survivors, eager to put something of their own in the capsule. They had come prepared. One by one, perfectly orderly, with frowns and sorry smiles and tears streaming, they filed past. Crowding the stage, the capsule, and when it was over, Leia. Their princess.
Han couldn't stand it. All this raw emotion-it wasn't his thing. "Keep an eye on her, will ya?" he asked Chewbacca, who barked a yes. Han slipped outside, threading through the crowds of those who couldn't fit into the building but still wanted to be near.
Suddenly, Han spotted a familiar-looking mop of greasy hair. He shot out an arm and clamped his hand down on the kid's shoulder. "You!"
It was the punk from the day before, the one who'd tried to scam them out of their credits. His eyes went wide with panic, and he tried to wriggle out of Han's grip, but Han held tight.
The other two boys approached, one obviously terrified, the other doing his best to look fierce. "Let him go," the bolder one ordered.
Han suppressed a grin. "Or what?"
"Or...or..." He obviously couldn't come up with anything.
It was equally obvious he wasn't about to leave his friend behind. Han couldn't help but admire him, thief or not.
He glared at the kid straining against his grip. "If I let you go, you promise not to disappear on me?"
"He doesn't promise anything," the mouthy one said. "You want to turn us in, go ahead. We're not going to help you."
"Why would I want to turn you in?"
"Why wouldn't you? We tried to steal from you."
The kid may have been bold, but he wasn't very bright, not if he was standing here in public admitting to his crimes. Han could have taught him a few things.
If he was in the business of babysitting bothersome little punks, of course.
"For one thing, you may be thieves, but you're not very good thieves," Han said. He smirked. "And for an old man old man, I know a thing or two about needing to steal."
The kid jerked his head at the one Han was holding onto. The boy immediately stopped squirming. Han let go.
"What do you want?" the boldest one said. "We don't have all day."
Acting like he's in charge, Han thought with a grin. Kid doesn't know when to keep his Kid doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. mouth shut.
"I can get you inside," Han offered. "If you want."
The kids shook their heads.
"But you're here," Han said. "You don't want to see the show?"
"Only here because we got nowhere else to be," the lead kid said. He was a bad liar, but Han let it pass.
"Hungry?" he asked. They shook their heads-but when he offered them the bag of Corellian potato sticks he'd been snacking on, they took it.
"So you're from Alderaan?" he asked.
"From nowhere," the kid said. "Not anymore."
"Come on, Mazi, not today," one of the other boys said.
" Every Every day, Jez," The one called Mazi scowled and shoved his hands into his pockets. day, Jez," The one called Mazi scowled and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"You ask me, we're better off forgetting the whole thing ever happened. We are are from nowhere. Now." from nowhere. Now."
"I can't forget," the third, youngest boy said softly. He kept his eyes on the entrance to the building, as if secretly wishing he could go inside. "I don't want to."
Now that they'd dropped the tough act, Han realized they were younger than he'd thought. The oldest couldn't be more than fifteen, if that. Some might think that was too young to be on your own. Han knew better.
"Go on," Mazi said. "Ask. You know you want to."
Han shrugged. "Maybe I'm like you, kid. I don't want anything."
"He means you can ask us how we ended up here," the smallest one said. "We don't care."
Han did want to know. But not as much, he suspected, as they wanted to tell him.
"You got me," he said. "Shoot."
"It was my idea," Mazi said. "Jez and Lan didn't think our parents would agree, but I talked 'em into it."
"Mazi can talk anyone into anything," Lan said, looking at the older boy with something close to worship.
Mazi shrugged, but a smile pulled at the corners of his lips. "Dad was easy. Like always. But Mom..."
"She thought we were too young to go by ourselves," Jez said. "She worries a lot."
"Worried," Mazi said sharply.
Jez flinched. "Yeah."
"There was a smashball tournament on Delaya," Mazi said in a dead voice. "We got permission to go to the game, stay overnight on our own, then go back to Alderaan in the morning."
Han winced. "But that was the day..."
"Yeah," Mazi snapped. "That was the day. So here we are. On our own." He glared at Han. "Don't think you have to pity us or something. We're fine. We know how to get by.
We do what we need to do."
"Yeah," Han said. "I can see that."
"So aren't you going to tell us how everything's going to be okay, blah blah whatever?"
Han pressed his lips together. He leaned back against the wall, tipping his head up to the sky. He'd heard Alderaan had once been close enough that you could see it with the naked eye. Not in the daytime, of course. Under the bright sun it was easy to imagine that Alderaan was still up there somewhere. But Han didn't believe in lying to himself.
He knew what these kids were in for. He'd been there.
"Kid, if you're lucky, you'll live through it. Nothing I can tell you but that."
I've never known her, Luke thought, watching Leia greet the admiring crowds. Not Not really. really.
Watching her preside over the memorial, watching her now console her subjects, Luke realized that this royal bearing was no act. She was still the same Leia that he'd come to know, but she was more than that: A senator. A princess. For the first time, Luke understood these weren't just titles-they were a part of her.
"Luke, this is Kiro Chen," she said now, introducing him to a young man with dark hair and a timid smile. Like the other survivors, his eyes were hooded and rimmed by red.
Something about him seemed familiar, though Luke was sure they'd never met. They followed her to a secluded area behind the stage. "He's the one I told you about, who's been working with General Rieekan on recruitment efforts. We couldn't have set up tomorrow's meeting without him."
Luke gave him a terse nod. "So did you know?" he asked. "About the warehouses?"
Kiro's eyes widened. "Of course not! Leia just told me and I'm as horrified as the rest of you."
Luke frowned. "But if you've been here all this time-"
"Drop it, Luke. He's been busy trying to help the Alliance," Leia said, in a tone that defied argument. "You can't blame him for believing Var Lyonn's lies, any more than you can blame me."
It was strange to see Leia so obviously comfortable with a stranger. Usually she was guarded, almost icy, in front of people she didn't know. But obviously Leia trusted this man. Maybe it's because they're both from Alderaan Maybe it's because they're both from Alderaan, Luke thought. They share a They share a common pain common pain.