Translator: Cheese
Proofreader/editor: Piper
Reality (3)Bai Weiwei replied without thinking: “Yah, yah . Wait, 15 days?”
Not a month?
The extension was cut in half . Was this system corrupt?
The system took out a calculator and said: “While you had leukemia, you used 17 bottles of painkillers, 3 energy-boosting pills, 6 transparent face masks for a
look-beautiful-without-makeup effect, and 1 tube for a fluttering long hair effect . In total it cost 11 days and 23 hours of life . ”
Bai Weiwei was shocked . “Why didn’t I know I used these? You didn’t even tell me . ”
The system flipped through the collection folder . “I was afraid that if I told you, you wouldn’t buy it . ”
Bai Weiwei, coldly: “Do I look like such a cheapskate? I’m going to spend a lot of it . ”
System: “It’s not a matter of pettiness . It’s a reminder, to hurry the customer . ”
Bai Weiwei frowned . “A reminder?”
Why would this thing be in a rush?
When the system saw she didn’t believe it, it immediately cleared its voice, and began to sign deeply . “Ding, dear host, you were in so much pain that your eyes turned white and your legs were twitching and shaking, like a grass mud horse1 running on the prairie, dancing in the wind . Do you need painkillers?”
Bai Weiwei: “…”
The system continued to be emotional, its voice slowly becoming magnetic . “Ding, dear host, you are so, so ugly . Ugly enough to break the limits of human imagination, ugly enough to pass the light of the universe . You’re ugly, patriotic and dedicated, with iron bones . Do you need a face mask? It’s good results . I’ll give you 6 for the price of 3 . ”
Bai Weiwei: “…” 6 .
The system shouted, “Ah, you haven’t washed your hair for 3 days, didn’t wash your scalp for 6 days, didn’t wash for half a month, didn’t wash for a whole year . Long fluttering hair agent, 1 tube for 1 year . Dear host, please buy immediately within 3 seconds to buy some hemorrhoid cream . ”
Bai Weiwei: “Buy your sister, scram!”
The system helplessly spread its hands: “You don’t believe it . ”
Bai Weiwei: “No . Where are the other 3 hours?”
The system wiggled, its voice coaxing: “That, I bought some melon seeds . ”
Bai Weiwei was unable to make heads or tails of what it said . “Melon seeds?”
What snacks needed her life to buy? God’s food?
The system coughed twice . “The host’s wish has been fulfilled and will wake up immediately . ”
Bai Weiwei spun around, her eyes heavy and frightening .
She gasped, and opened her eyes, and found she wasn’t in the hospital .
She was tied to a car’s driver’s seat . The car was sailing at an alarming speed .
The car was driverless, with Bai Weiwei tied to the driver’s seat . There was a cliff ahead, with the sea below it .
For a while, Bai Weiwei was unable to react to the situation .
She shouted, “F*ck! Help me!”
The system dug into its ears . “You’ve hurt your throat . Nobody can hear you . ”
Bai Weiwei couldn’t stand it . “Why do I wake up in situations like these all the time?”
Last time I was poisoned, this time it’s a car accident .
Was she just destined to die?
The system cleared its throat and began to sing loudly . “Ding! Host, are you at the crossroads of your life, wandering? Do you have a slight injury, but still look at poetry and distance? Were you tied to a big hairy crab, hung in a car worth 100,008-yuan? Are you looking for your ideals in the direction of the sea? A full-range protective shield for only 15 days . Do you want to die or do you want to live, ah?”
Bai Weiwei: “I want to die . ”
1: this is a sound-like word to a cuss word that chinese people use to get past the anti-cursing software in group or game chats, much like the english equivalent of ‘fudge’ . I think the system is making a poem and using these words to put an extra punch in his words XD ↩
Cheese: Sigh, this was literally the hardest chapter I’ve come across so far . Apologies for any confusion, but I’m just as lost as you LOL WHY DOES THE SYSTEM TALK LIKE THIS!?
Piper’s corner: I agree, the conversations are my favorite because they go by fast, but at the same time I hate them because they can be so confusing!