But that didn't mean it was easy to stop talking to him in the meantime, or hooking a finger through his belt loop when they talked. She was doing that now, while the party surrounded them. As soon as she caught a glimpse of Max, she jumped away from Johnny as if he'd scalded her.
"Hey, baby," she said to Max, running over to him and then winding an arm around him. "You wanna do a body shot?"
He gave her a look. "No. Thanks though."
"But I do! Please, babe?" He said nothing, but laughed, and she smiled. She jumped onto a table next to her, shouted over the music to get the attention of the room. "Hey! Who wants to do a body shot off me?"
She pulled up her shirt to show her flat stomach, and smiled wider as her subjects cheered. She chose a random guy she didn't even know, and pulled him over to the beer pong table. She lay down, and laughed at the crowd around her. Someone poured a shot of tequila onto her stomach, sprinkled some salt on her chest, and then put a slice of lime from the dining hall into her mouth. The guy took the shot, and everyone clamored to be next. Becca looked at Max, who smiled and shook his head. He didn't look jealous enough. She glanced at Johnny, who did.
In short order, Becca had downed three shots and, finally, the room had begun to spin a little. She found that this was about how drunk she needed to be in order to feel affectionate toward Max and to forget about Johnny. Usually. But that became really hard as she looked up and saw that Johnny was dancing with that girl Susan.
Susan? Really? That poor ditz was only trying to be like Becca. Suddenly her mousy blond hair was up in a spunky ponytail just like Becca's, and her glasses were gone, and her boobs were in a real bra instead of a sports bra. Oh, and she'd picked up smoking Camel Lights, just like Becca.
Becca stood quickly, momentarily losing her balance, and took two shots right in a row. They burned, and she looked to see what they were. Hundred-proof vodka.
Twenty minutes later, it was kicking her ass.
She spotted Johnny about twenty feet away, and ambled over to him.
"I think I had too much stuff," she said.
"What did you have? You didn't accept anything from Ricky, right?"
"No, no...I just had some shots of that." She pointed indiscriminately. "I didn't know it was hundred proof."
She wanted to lean on him. To feel his arm around her, making her feel safe. From what, she didn't know. But he always made her feel better.
"Johnny...Johnny."
"Yeah?"
"We should be, you know, like..." She pointed between them. "Together or whatever."
He looked at her, and she wanted to reach up and kiss him.
"We can't."
"Not ever? Not even if I break up? I mean with Max. If I break up with him, why couldn't we be, then?" Those shots were tangling her tongue.
"Because that's almost as bad as what we're doing now." His voice was low. "He'd never forgive me if he found out. So even if we were legit together, it would be wrong."
The words sank in, and her eyes began to burn. She turned away, not wanting him to see her wipe her eyes. She found Max.
She stumbled up to him. "Dance with me?"
She pulled him into the group of people dancing, careful to stay within Johnny's eyeshot. Becca grinded into Max's leg, and ran her hands along his neck.
"I like you so much. I'm so glad we're together."
She kissed him, and then turned around so her back was on his chest and her hand still on his neck. Johnny looked at her and quickly turned away.
"We should go somewhere," said Becca, tugging on Max's collar. "I want you so bad right now."
He hesitated, and then gave a nod. "Okay, let's go."
She pulled him down so she could talk into his ear. "Why don't you go to the supply room and I'll meet you there? It'll be less obvious, and we won't get interrupted."
He shrugged. "Okay, whatever."
She waited for him to go, and then tapped Susan on the shoulder. "Hey, Susie! Love your hair!"
"Thanks!"
"No problem." Then she pulled Johnny toward her and said as quietly as she could so that he could hear, "Meet me in the supply room in three minutes."
"What? Becca, no-"
She nodded and went off to meet Max.
"Mmm," she said, when she closed the door behind her. "You look so sexy right now."
"You, too. Come here."
She had to make this fast, so everything would happen at just the right time. She pulled him close to her. "I want you now."
He lifted her easily, and she leaned on one of the shelves. Only a minute later, they were in the throes of passion and Johnny walked in. Becca screamed and pulled Max closer.
"Whoa, sorry," Johnny said, and then he closed the door. But not before giving Becca the look she'd been hoping for.
Jealousy.
"Are you going to the Halloween Ball?" Becca buffed her nails and idly made conversation with Dana.
Becca was not entirely sure how to feel about Dana. Ever since she'd been hanging out with her, Dana was getting attention. No one seemed to notice that it was entirely because of Becca, and that clearly that meant that she held all the power in the school. All they seemed to notice was Dana.
She was pretty, and lately she had more confidence. Becca knew better than anyone that this was a dynamic duo of traits. Dana was also pretty quiet, but had been sent here after some kind of weird bipolar flip out at a teacher at her old school. Becca had zoned out while Dana was telling her.
"Oh...no, I don't have a date."
"Do you want to go?"
"Maybe...I've never been."
"Oh, that's pathetic. You've been here since freshman year and you haven't been?"
Dana shook her head.
"I'm going to get you a date."
"No, I don't want a pity date, really."
"You're already getting my pity. I'm just going to ask Johnny if he wants to take you."
That would only make Becca look less interested. Maybe then he'd actually try to go for her.
"Johnny Parker?"
"Yup." That way he wouldn't get a real date.
"He'd never want to go with me probably. He's gorgeous and smart and everything. He could get anyone."
"Okay, yeah, obviously, but that's why I'm setting it up. He'll go with you."
A smile stretched across Dana's face, and her eyebrows flickered a little. "That'd be cool, I guess-but only if he wants to go."
"Meanwhile," she said with a sigh, "Max and I are just madly in love."
She did this often with Dana. She would sit down and talk at her, making her relationship sound perfect, and the rest of her life sound enviable. She would never tell Dana that she, too, had bad experiences in her past that had landed her here. She definitely wouldn't tell her about the one thing that had pretty much bought her ticket.
As far as Dana or anyone else for the rest of her life needed to know, Becca was perfect and her life was charmed.
"That's good that everything is good with you guys," Dana said, and took a sip from a glass of water she had next to her bed.
"It is good. We're getting pretty serious. I'm a little worried he likes me too much."
Lie.
"Really?"
There was a knock on the door.
"Can you get that?" Becca looked hopefully at Dana.
Dana pulled open the door to reveal Madison and Julia.
They both cooed a hello, and Becca smiled superficially. "Come on in-I was just telling Dana about how Max might be falling too hard for me."
"You think so?" Madison asked eagerly, sitting down in Becca's chair.
Julia sat on the desk, partially obscuring Dana.
"Yes, I'm totally serious. He pulled me out of the party the other night at the boathouse, and told me he had to talk to me...he was worried I was going to leave him for some other guy, you know, and then he took my hand-" she smiled as she watched everyone's eyes get bigger "-and told me he never wanted us to end."
Lie.
Madison and Julia aahed together.
"That is so sweet," Madison said, her hand over her heart.
"I know. He says this kind of thing all the time. And about how, like, he wants to get married one day and we'll have a big house on a beach that doesn't suck like this one."
Lie.
They laughed. Dana looked down at her fingers and said nothing. Whatever, Becca thought, she's not the most important one to pass the information along to anyway. Madison and Julia were bound to tell everyone how completely all about her he was.
Dana didn't matter at all.
CHAPTER TWELVE.
I'D TAKEN TO SPENDING EVEN LESS TIME IN MY room than before. Rather than be in there, I even studied on the way to the senior study room.
"Look at you, getting your homework done."
I looked up from my book. I'd been reading and walking, and hadn't noticed Johnny walking toward me.
"Yes, I actually do my homework," I said. Johnny was never to be seen with any assigned books or even a pencil. I constantly felt I was going to discover he was just a maintenance guy masquerading as a student.
"I do homework. I just do it last minute. That way I spend as little time on it as possible." He smiled, and leaned against the wall.
I laughed.
He smiled. "So, new girl, you want to go to the ball with me?"
If I'd been a cartoon, my eyes would have popped out of my head and I'd have done a double take. "Are you... What?"
There was no real reason why I shouldn't. He was hot. He was nice to me. Everyone told me to stay away from him and Max, but since Max had almost completely ignored me lately, all of my hopes in that direction had died.
When I hesitated, Johnny said, "You're not with anyone, right?"
"No, no, I'm not...."
"It can be just as friends if you want. I just think it would be fun to go with you." He shrugged.
I scrambled for an answer. "Um. Okay. Sure. Yes. Let's do it."
"Four kinds of 'yes,' that'll work."
I gave a nervous laugh, thinking now about what people would say when they found out. I liked the idea of rebelling against them, but I wasn't usually a rebel-and therefore wasn't sure I had the stomach for it.
"All right, you go do your homework. I'll talk to you about the plan later."