23 Votes
It should’ve been just love.
That’s right, that’s what it had been at first.
There had been no mistakes with that.
When had it started to distort?, that I don’t know.
「Oh, Soleil-sama is with Sylvia-sama again」
Walking to my side, my friend said this in a murmur while abruptly looking over the courtyard.
When I followed her gaze, I saw two figures nestled closed to each other there.
Once again, a sense of deja vu crossed my mind.
The pair’s figures sitting side by side on the lone bench stood out more than I imagined at the school’s courtyard.
Do they know what they’re doing? Or do they not even care about the eyes around them?
Though the pedestrian traffic wasn’t that much, the students who do happen to pass by, kept looking their way.
「Is it alright not to call out to them?」
Well-known for her beauty, my friend asked as she flipped her golden hair.
I gently shook my head.
「Soleil-sama takes great care of my younger sister for me」
The words slipped out so dispassionately that it sounded like a barefaced lie even to me.
When my life restarted on countless occasions, I often intentionally uttered this line to protect my fiance, who cherished my younger sister, from prying eyes.
Even though being alone with some woman while already having a fiancee wasn’t something to be praised about, it’s another matter when that someone was the fiancee’s younger sister.
I know it’s an excuse to say,『they’re going to be family after all』 .
「Ilya-sama, how tolerant of you」
Marianne, my good-looking friend, smiled with an indescribable expression.
She knows I’ve hindered women from coming close to my fiance, after all.
And, she’d been one of them too.
Long ago, when I heard a rumour that Marianne was scheming to get close to my fiance, Soliel, I promptly went and had a word with her.
『Don’t go near my fiance 』, I told her.
Thinking back on it now, even though I’m only now recalling how haughty I acted to the those in higher standings, it just comes to show how narrow-minded I’d been back then.
A woman mad with love. That phrase came to fit me the most.
It was an affair that wouldn’t have been strange even if Marianne’s family lodged a formal complaint.
Without confirming the facts, I got deceived by the rumour and falsely accused her, after all.
If I had to answer why we’re forming a friendly relationship without it turning sour.
『I won’t get in the way of two of you』
She said, smiling with a moony expression.
『I’m not so uncouth as to get in the way of two people’s love』, she continued.
If she’d said it after 「that tea party」 , this would’ve been when I’d think, ‘what kind of harassment was that?’, but Marianne exchange those words long before my fiance and my younger sister were introduced.
That’s why, when I heard those words, I simply felt like I was walking on air.
Because that meant that from the viewpoint of those around us, it looked as if my fiance and I held affection for each other.
That my fiance… loved me.
Even though I became friendly with her after harbouring that kind of idiotic delusion, I was never hated.
In other words, the one who was tolerant wasn’t me, it was Marianne.
The past me was crying out.
——–Why did you do that!
——–Don’t let her come near Soleil!
Even I don’t quite understand. Why I did it?, What I wanted to come from it?, I don’t know.
Prior to that tea party, I’d certainly been in love with Soleil.
It was my entire reason for living – no, for life.
That moment I encountered him when I was no more than five, ever since I told myself I will become worthy to stand by his side, I’ve come to live as 『Soleil’s fiancee』.
I worked hard to the point of vomiting and recently, finally got others to recognize my efforts.
The despair I felt when I found out that all of that had been completely useless, was beyond description.
The way Soleil looked at my sister. The way my sister looked at him.
I know that they were trying to hide their feeling so as to never let those around them on to the loving way they looked at each other.
So as to never let it show. But I watched them, as an outsider, as they exchanged passionate looks.
Even though I should’ve already seen the scene several times, this was the first I’ve seen the sight in this life.
Every time I saw this, I certainly felt hurt.
One could call her the tragic heroine.
The story drew the audience in, and I was just like the villainess that got in the way of the main character’s romance.
But this wasn’t a story, this was, by no mistake, my life.
If that’s the so, why must I be condemned for pitying my own life?
Cruel. Cruel. Why? Why is that?
I feel as if the wailings of the past me were echoing even to this day.
——-Why won’t anyone understand me?