On a certain day, a certain thought came to the Sun Goddess, Japan's chief god.
(T/N: Amaterasu is the goddess of the sun, and the chief god in the Japanese Shinto pantheon.)
——Aren't there too many Japanese people being abducted to other worlds?
Well, perhaps that cannot really be helped.
After all, the large majority of Japanese are diligent and docile and soft-hearted. Considering their high aptitude as slaves, the fact that their country has yet to be taken over by another foreign power should almost be considered a miracle.
It's pretty much like, if you have a request, just turn to a Japanese person and you'd be set. No wonder otherworlders have a penchant for summoning from this specific group of people.
"But recently it's just gotten way too out of hand."
Previously, it was only a single person at a time, or at most just a small group. But lately, there've been increasing numbers of cases of entire classes from a school, or even randomly selected groups of several hundreds being taken all at once.
If this continues on as is, it would lead to a significant decrease in the country's population.
It's even led to Izanami-sama, the one who manages Yomi, to shout "Why the hell are the number of souls coming to my place decreasing ahh?!" at the Sun Goddess in disregard of her position as the chief god.
It's a secret that she got scared by her mother and even cried a bit.
(T/N: Yomi is Japanese hell. Izanami is Amaterasu's mother.)
"But the other worlds have their own troubles, so it'd be pitiable to stop their summonings……"
At the point where unrelated Japanese are being dragged into this troubles unrelated to them, all worries about pity or whatnot is already worth less than a penny. But as the chief god of the Japanese, the Sun Goddess herself is also soft-hearted.
Surely her brother Tsukuyomi-sama would laugh from his nose if he heard her worries. He's an "I'm so cool" poser chuunibyou after all.
(T/N: Tsukuyomi is one of Amaterasu's siblings, and is the god of the moon.)
"Surely there must be a good solution……!"
So the Sun Goddess ponders hard. That moment, a certain incident of her parents, who are currently living separately, flashes in her mind.
——If a thousand people die from curses everyday, then why not simply cause a thousand and five hundred babies to be born everyday? 1
Uwah, so much haughtiness!
Gods from polytheistic pantheons are mostly—judging by worldly standards—failures as gods or assholes.
"Oh, I've got it! Whenever a Japanese person is summoned, I just have to summon an otherworlder!"
Uwah, so much hau— (abridged)
After pondering too much, Sun Goddess-sama arrives at her brilliant solution.
Her figure is exactly like that of a mid-level manager tired from his job.
"Whenever a Japanese person is summoned to another world, I'll summon an otherworlder to Japan then☆"
——Why the fuck.
Upon the abrupt appearance of Yatagarasu in the sky above Japan to deliver Sun Goddess-sama's message, the Japanese populace tsukkomi-ed as a whole.
(T/N: Yatagarasu is the divine messenger of the gods. It's conventionally understood to be a three-legged crow.)
But what can they say to Yatagarasu, who's merely the messenger? So all they can do is watch it coolly depart.
They expected it to get pissed at being seen by "unworthy people," but nothing of that sort really happened.
——Now what, oi.
The sudden announcement has thrown the National Diet into absolute chaos.
Otherworlders are coming. And it is now their duty to provide hospitality befitting of their status as the representatives of Earth.
The way how "those who were abducted" turned into "how to make those who arrived by abduction feel welcome" inside their heads speaks volumes about their soft-hearted nature.
If this was America, the instant an otherworlder arrives, they'd be sued and dragged to court for being an illegal immigrant.
"Wh-, where is this place? Who are you people?!"
In the middle of the Diet building, a girl suddenly appears.
She is wearing a white dress and has light-blue hair, something that's impossible on Earth. Clearly she's an otherworlder.
It seems that Sun Goddess-sama has summoned an otherworlder in the literal heart of Japan.
Furthermore, without any explanation whatsoever to the summon victim. The girl, who appears to be in her early teens, is terribly bewildered.
"P-, Prime Minister!?"
The members of the Diet are also equally bewildered. For starters, they turn towards the one who seems older and the calmest for instructions.
"…… Minister of Foreign Affairs, Adachi-kun."
(T/N: Whenever the line is spoken by many people, I'll use quadruple quotations.)
Apparently the potato was too hot for him too.
"Ahhh, may I have a word, young lady?"
"Ah, I apologize for having startling you. Oi, someone bring her a chair!"
But the one who had the ball thrown to him, Minister of Foreign Affairs Adachi-kun, is smiling gentlemanly and handling the situation with great adeptness.
Even though he normally has a face not any less scary than a yakuza and goes around saying "you bloody fool!" to people, now he's the very picture of a gentle uncle.
As expected of the schemer who's got an iron fist on Japan's loophole-filled foreign diplomacy.
"…… and that's what happened."
After listening to Adachi-kun's explanation, for some reason the girl's face has turned pale.
"We do apologize for having involved you in our country's probl—……"
"I'M SO VERY SORRY!!"
The moment Adachi-kun attempts to apologize, the girl cuts him off by lowering her head with surprising vigor.
And with good reason. It turns out that it is her own country that has been going wild with the otherworld summonings.
"Our country has the age-old tradition of summoning a bride for our crown prince from another world. The tradition has actually already been abandoned more than two hundred years ago, but the Head Priest who got ordained recently really wanted to distinguish himself with an achievement and managed to forcefully get the tradition re-implemented……"
Apparently the summoning this time is not a battle story, but a court story.
The danger level is indeed a bit lower, but there's still the possibility of a battle within the palace's ladies' chambers happening.
A moment of prayer for the summoned woman's ability.
"If only I and my father had properly prevented it……"
"Your father? Young lady, are you perhaps……"
"Ah, pardon my belated introduction. I am Shiina, the First Princess of the country of Galteia."
What kind of person do you think you've summoned?!
The rows of slack-jawed members of Diet all sent the same tsukkomi to Sun Goddess-sama.
1 Izanagi (husband) and Izanami (wife) are married. Izanami went to Yomi (Japanese hell), and Izanagi chased after her. But it turns out that she had eaten food from Yomi and thus her body became rotten and all that. Shocked at her new look, Izanagi ran away and sealed the entrance to Yomi with a stone, upon which Izanami threatened to kill 1,000 people each day with curses, to which Izanagi retorted he would just make 1,500 babies be born everyday. See here for the full story.
Summary of last week's episode:
Too many Japanese were being abducted to other words, which led to Izanami-sama's rage.
Afraid of her mother, Amaterasu-sama came upon the rather incomprehensible solution of reverse-summoning one otherworlder for every Japanese summoned.
A real life princess got reverse-summoned to Japan.
The entire country of Japan tsukkomi-ed Amaterasu-sama in unison.
(T/N: The 'Sun Goddess' mentioned frequently last chapter, she is more commonly known by the name Amaterasu.)
"So, about how the reverse-summoning is being badly received."
Who is it that started this random thread during daytime on a normal day.
It is none other than the chief god of the heavenly pantheon of the country of Hinomoto, Amaterasu-sama.
(T/N: Hinomoto is a more traditional name for Japan.)
"But I thought as hard as I could…… what's so bad about it anyways…… and 'Enter'."
The one who is typing with inhuman speed is none other than our dear Amaterasu-sama.
But the way she's doing it is by poking each key with a single finger. Being as bad with machines as the average grandma in the countryside, there's no way our dear Amaterasu-sama can perform something as high level as touch typing.
Apparently the internet has advanced even into the place where the heavenly gods live, Takamagahara, as of late.
There was something about how Omoikane-sama had set it up in one night, but there's no knowing how Amaterasu-sama managed to pull a line, and frankly no one cares.
(T/N: Omoikane/Omohikane is the god of wisdom.)
"So, about how our chief god is information illiterate."
"Our reliably incompetent goddess. That's what's so moe about her."
"How are the heavenly gods going to survive from here on?" 1
The netizens are merciless even against their own country's chief god.
But that cannot be helped. Even they could not imagine that the one who started the thread was Amatersu-sama herself.
But on the one-in-million chance that they realize the truth, the momentum would probably still go on. Let's not think about it too deeply.
"…… ki, kinoko sensei?" 1
There was a part that she did not get, but understanding that she's being severely criticized, Amaterasu-sama hangs her head.
But seeing only criticism and no constructive suggestion is sad.
At this rate, the 672th Amno-Iwato Incident might happen. 2
Everyone knows she's going to come back out soon enough anyways, but chances are high that it would involve Amno-Uzume getting naked again and that would be a problem in and of itself.
"Leaving aside the issue of tit for tat summoning, how about first making sure that the summoned Japanese are getting proper after care?"
Suddenly coming upon constructive gold dust amidst the barren desert of memes, Amaterasu-sama comes to a start.
That's right, what on earth was she thinking.
How inexcusable it is to focus solely on the world's balance to the point of forgetting about the people themselves.
It's a way of thinking that might lead to the revelation that, after defeating an RPG's last boss, the player was the last boss after all.
"But specifically what can I do for them……"
Being the Sun Goddess, Amaterasu-sama is quite powerful indeed. But with her believers mainly residing only in Japan, she's pretty much just a local god who can't really manifest her powers in another world.
"That's right! If I talk to the gods of those other worlds……!"
""Right, 'talk,' yes? In a physical meaning, yes?""
All the netizens contributed to this tsukkomi.
After all, she's the kind of sister who put on full body armor when going out to greet her younger brother.
If she's like that with her own sibling, how 'proper' can her 'negotiations' with non-family members be?
"Shaaddduuppp! I can do it if I try!"
Completely oblivious to the failure flag that she just raised, Amaterasu-sama strengthens her resolve.
A country with a long history on the Eastern Continent, the Fitzgald Empire.
In a chamber underneath the temple in the capital, that ritual is being held.
——Summoning a hero from another world.
The imperial prince and his attendant knights, the few people allowed to spectate, are looking on with incredulity.
"The temple priests understand nothing. We don't have a demon king to defeat, we're in a war. And there's no way for a single summoned hero to end an entire war."
"But there have been numerous cases of a single hero overturning the tide of war, Grimm. Such as my own father once did."
The prince's words cause Grimm to hold his tongue.
That is exactly the reason why he is so against this time's summoning. The prince cannot change the tide of war as the emperor once did. Or at least, so the priests believe, which is what led to this hero summoning.
The advent of a hero could all too easily lead to the weakening of the imperial family's authority going forward.
"…… They've come."
The magic circle laid out on the ground begins to shine, to the point where the entire place is wrapped in blinding light.
"Wh-, what is this place?!"
The light subsides to reveal an unreliable-looking teenager.
"…… Umu! It's been a while since I'd last breathed surface air!"
……Accompanied by a super macho ossan.
""Wh-, who are YOU?!""
Not only the prince, but everyone present for the summoning shouted out in unison.
The teenager who has yet to grasp the situation and is looking very confused is most likely the summoned hero.
In that case, who on earth is the ossan who seems to fully understand the situation and is standing arrogantly like he owns the place?
"Oh, me? My name is Thor! God of war and lightning!!"
The instant the ossan…… ahem, Thor-sama names himself, lightning flashes in his background.
On top of being indoors, this place is actually underground, but that's no obstacle to the god of lightning.
"By Thor, you mean that Thor, from earth?! Are you the real one?! AWESOME! THREE CHEERS FOR OTHER WORLDS!!"
Then there's the Japanese teenager standing beside him.
Knowing that the one he's with is a god that he knows from his previous world, he is almost jumping with excitement.
Just because it's a different world, it doesn't mean that gods descend left and right, but ah, who cares.
"U-, umm, Thor-sama. Why are you here?"
"Umu, the explaining is going to take a while……"
On a certain day, one of the chief gods of earth, Odin-sama, suddenly says this:
"Damn, Amaterasu is coming?! Freya, I'll leave her to you!"
"Why are you running away? Isn't she coming because she has something to talk with you about?"
"I mean, she's the freaking Sun Goddess, alright? When gods like her get mad, they shine like crazy, so I'm really bad at handling them. I only have one eye left, fuck me if this one gets blinded too."
"As if a god's eye would go blind that easily……"
"The only one among us who has resistance against the sun…… oh right! Thor, I'll leave her to you!"
"Are you listening to me?"
"…… And so that's what happened."
""What. The. Fuck.""
For some reason Thor-sama is giving off this "story's over, guys" vibe, but not a single thing is over.
The teengaer beside him is apparently impressed at the weirdest point in the story and going "Amaterasu-sama, so cool~".
"Well, you know Amaterasu-dono. She loves you humans like her own children, so she was worried whether you'd make it or not in another world. So I thought, why don't I just accompany you over and take care of you for a while!"
""What. The. FLYING. FUCK?!""
Every single person present could not help but to tsukkomi at hearing this absolutely absurd solution.
How bored was this god of lightning anyways?
"So, yea! Rejoice, young man! I'm going to turn you into a fine warrior!"
"Awesome, I get a god as my shishou?! Would I become strong enough to defeat a dragon?!"
"You bet! I'll train you till you can defeat dragons and giants and anything else!"
The Japanese and the god's excitement only continue climbing, in complete disregard of the bewildered locals.
Today, too, this world is—generally—at peace.
On the other hand, at the Japanese National Diet.
"Hou, so this is the country of Hinomoto. For it to be shining this brightly despite being indoors!"
""Wh-, who are youuuu?!""
The one who's suddenly appeared in the middle of the Diet hall is a middle-aged man wearing a splendid red mantle.
On his face and body are innumerable scars, and from every which angle he looks completely like a gangster.
"Ahh, I am currently serving as the Minister of Foreign Affairs of this country of Japan, going by the name of Adachi. I beg your forbearance, but your name is……?"
"Mu? Did you not hear from Amaterasu-dono? She said that she's explained the situation already."
This tsukkomi involved the entire Diet, but seeing as how the summoned person himself seems informed, apparently Amaterasu-sama has grown a bit.
Surely she will give us advance notice before the next reverse-summoning occurs.
"In that case, then I must name myself. I am Graios von Fitzgald! The emperor of the Fitzgald Empire!"
It's an emperor this time.
The Diet members who have comprehended the situation are looking off into the distance with glassed-over eyes.
Today, too, Japan is at peace.
1 In order to understand this joke, let me first introduce a Japanese word, 'ginatyomi (ぎなた読み)' which is pretty much a Japanese meme based on mondegreen (wikipedia: "a mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase as a result of near-homophony, in a way that gives it a new meaning"). Just as "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue" can be misread as "Doughnuts Make My Brown Eyes Blue,' so the the phrase "この先／生きのこるには (kono saki, ikinokoru ni ha)" can be misread as "この先生／きのこるには (kono sensei, kinokoru ni ha)". The second one makes absolutely no sense, but you know how the internet is. It caught on, and now is sometimes referenced with the characters all jumbled in other meaningless orders, such as the "きのこ先生 (kinoko sensei)" mentioned at the second 1 superscript. If you can read Japanese (or listen to; there's a video at the bottom) and are interested or tickled by this, click for a more thorough exposition.)
2 There's a myth about how Amaterasu's brother Susanoo had done something terrible to her, so Amaterasu holed herself up in a cave, Amno-Iwato. The gods came up with the idea of hosting a feast outside the cave, and Amno-Uzume danced lewdly in front of the cave, which evoked the gods' laughter and thus Amaterasu's curiosity. Click here for the full story.)
The Kingdom of Galdeia. This kingdom which has a longstanding history has a tradition of summoning a bride for the crown prince from another world.
And just recently, a bride was summoned for the first time in several hundred years. But this bride, right after the wedding, has been holed up in a room ever since.
With her black hair tied up behind her neck, she is a woman wearing thin glasses. She has a 'competent career woman' aura, and her name is Tonegawa Asahi.
This queen consort is silently sitting before…… a desk buried under piles of documents.
As expected of the Japanese who are known for being overly patient. Any normal person would have already screamed "like hell I can do this!" and flipped out and knocked it all down.
"…… like hell I can do this!"
Oops, she snapped.
All of a sudden.
As expected of a descendant of the Japanese who, upon surpassing their limits, suddenly turned from smiling to a serious face and started waging war.
It's not for no reason that a certain person said "the Japanese do not know how to do diplomacy." 1
"The queen consort has exploded?!"
"A beautiful person! Bring someone beautiful, it doesn't matter male or female!!"
But the surrounding people deal with it in a practiced manner.
That method of dealing with it might seem somewhat mistaken, but well, she's a Japanese, so let's leave it at that.
Some countries may consider Japan as a Hentai Country, but in light of certain ancient texts from more than a thousand years ago, they might not be entirely wrong.
"Ouhi-sama, please calm yourself!"
"Shaddup! What the hell is with this mountain of paper that never shrinks?! Is this a bug?! Is this entire freaking country bugged?!"
(T/N: 'Queen consort' in Japanese is 'ouhi'.)
The queen consort shouts at the maids on standby.
She has a venomous mouth. She has a manliness that one normally cannot deduce from her appearance.
"Half! After you clear half of it, you can go to rest. If you are so inclined, then how about your beloved BL works……"
Here we have a sad announcement. This queen consort is a fujoshi.
But though rotten she may be, one must not look down on her.
For, rather than being a pig that only knows how to feed, this queen consort is the creative kind of otaku who creates her own works.
(T/N: BL means 'boys love,' and refers to works (manga, anime, etc) depicting love between men for a presumed female audience. The females who like this genre are called 'fujoshi,' the direct translation meaning 'rotten girls.')
For the sake of her creations, the amount of knowledge that she has amassed is more than you can shake a stick at.
She was able to instantly remember the politics and problems of feudalistic countries, and is contributing to the Galdeia Kingdom's rule as such.
This is the kind of knowledge that would go straight to the dustbin if she had lived a normal life, but since it's now proven useful let's not get nitpicky about the details.
"Are you right in the head? I already don't have time for sleeping, where do I find the time for entertainment?!?!"
"Wh-, whaatt?? Then from where are we to attain new works?!"
We have a second sad announcement. The court has begun rotting.
Apparently the manga that the hentai country Japan is proud of was a bit too stimulating for the court ladies.
But on the upside, this queen consort now has stable and overwhelming support from the newly awakened adherents in the court. There's no knowing how the dice falls, right?
"In the first place, why are there this many unprocessed matters?!"
"The final confirmation must be made by a member of the imperial family. The late king was also hounded by document processing daily."
"As if I care!! What I'm asking is, what the hell is that blockhead doing!!"
The queen consort's question causes the ministers rushing every which way in confusion to freeze in their motions.
'Blockhead.' There's only one person in this world that the queen consort would call by that name.
"Eh, his Majesty is currently not feeling well……"
King Richard, who was successfully coronated just the other day.
However, after the completion of the coronation ceremony and wedding ceremony, that king has not come outside at all.
"…… So he's still holed up in his room, that siscon?"
(T/N: A 'siscon' is someone who overly loves their sister.)
The reason for this is the mysterious disappearance of Princess Shiina the other day.
His Majesty, who deeply loves his own sister, has locked himself up in his room from the shock.
Though he does elicit a certain amount of sympathy, even his wife has no other word but 'disgusting' to describe him.
"Ouhi-sama! Here are more documents fo— *gasp*?!"
A certain civil official who couldn't read the atmosphere walked in with a new stack of documents in his arms, but his legs gave out with a single glare from the queen consort.
This queen consort actually did not receive any cheat abilities from her overworld transmigration, but at this rate it seems that she is about to awaken the Evil Eye skill.
But this queen consort's face has suddenly blossomed into a smile.
The smile is as unnatural as a stormy sky suddenly turning blue and clear.
"Al~right! Let's go give him a punch♪"
"Wh-, even if you say it with the spirit of declaring a stroll!"
It seems that the queen consort has crossed a limit beyond her limit.
Once a Japanese person reaches this state, there is no longer any stopping that person.
It is already a confirmed fact that there will be a great rampage on the level of a Choro-Q that's lost an entire side of wheels.
"Ah~hah~hah♪ Your Majesty, your beloved wife has come to visit♪"
"D-, deranged! Ouhi-sama has gone deranged?!"
The queen consort dashing through the palace halls with a beaming smile, and the attendants desperately trying to keep up with her.
They shout for help, but the ministers who hear the shouts all think the same thing.
——Isn't this what happens all the time anyways.
After this, the king receives an incredible body blow and an incredible scolding from the queen consort. As a result, the queen consort has calmed down, so all's well that ends well.
At the same time, there is a rising suspicion of the king awakening to masochism, but the two look happy together, so no one said anything.
"Oh hey, Tsukuyomi. What's the name of that place again…… Galdeia, was it? So how's the person who was summoned there doing?"
The man wordlessly gazes at the mirror.
He is Amaterasu's younger brother, one pillar of the three main Shinto gods, Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto.
He appears so rarely in mythology that even his gender is in question, but he's probably male.
The trend lately seems to be leaning towards interpreting him as female, but even Amaterasu-sama was mistaken to be male at one point, so let's not think about it too deeply.
"Aah, Ane-ue. If you're talking about the female who was summoned to Galdeia Kingdom, she's doing absolutely fine."
(T/N: 'Ane-ue' means 'older sister.' That's how Tsukuyomi calls Amaterasu.)
"Is that so? It totally caught me off guard, so I only had time to grant her the divine protection that enables her to understand the local language."
"That's already enough. The person herself has high abilities, so extra intervention might actually prove detrimental in her case."
"Really? Alright, if you say so, Tsukuyomi."
So Amaterasu-sama walks away, satisfied.
Tsukuyomi watches her departure with a smile, but the instant she can no longer see him, his smile warps.
"After all, this human is more interesting to watch the more cornered she is. Well, it's not like she's going to die, so let's just keep watching for a while longer."
Him being schadenfreudistic is most likely unrelated to him being the god of the moon and night.
1 There is a (now proven fake) story on the Japanese net that Winston Churchill said this in his The Second World War: When absurd demands are made of the Japanese, they do not get angry, nor do they object. They accept the demands with a smile. However, this is problematic. Objecting and wrangling one's opponent is the job of a politician, yet they cannot do this. So then a further absurd demand is made, which they once again accept. As a result, the meeting proceeds with even more demands. Then all of a sudden, the Japanese' smile disappear and, with an entirely different face, they spit venom, among which they said "We've already compromised this far, yet to still say something like that, it must mean that you are an ignorant fool. Having come this far, we have no recourse but to exchange swords."
This event is what triggered the Japanese to attack, and conquer, Singapore, in regards to which Churchill wrote "If the Japanese had this much power, they should have spoken up about it earlier. They truly do not know how to do diplomacy." Again, all this has been proven to be untrue.