A cute girl in a black dress with her head lowered was walking next to a tall woman in a red dress…except that that woman was me in drag. Next to us was another lovely little girl dressed in a shoulder-revealing hanbok who was walking carefully while making sure to press down her skirt with her hands. Just the three of us walking together was enough to grab the attention of everyone around us. Uwaaagh. But, strangely enough, it felt like everyone was only staring at me. Hey, ain’t ya gonna look away? If you’re going to look at me, then pay attention to the two adorable girls walking next to me! I know that I look weird, but isn’t it rude to stare so openly? The hell kind of punishment game is this?!
[Are you enjoying this?]
“Do you think I’m a pervert…wait, why’re you using magic in public?!”
I quickly waved my hand through Pyeii’s words. Pyeii looked at me pityingly before writing once again.
[No one else can see it.]
“Is that another spell?”
[Using a spell so that unless they’re spiritual eyes are open, it’ll only look like the shimmering waves of a ghost keeping itself hidden.]
Grateful as I was for that easy-to-understand explanation, I knew for a fact now that she needed to lay off the video games. She could have just said her words would look like a small heat haze, so why bring up all that? …No, wait. When I was a baby, my spiritual eyes were opened, and I was able to see Rangii. According to Saehee, that meant I could see phantoms even when they were keeping themselves hidden. I only took that at face value. But now, with everyone’s eyes focused on me and me alone, I realized the implication behind Saehee’s words.
“…Hey, you two.”
[?]
“Awoo?”
Though it was already too late for that, I kept my voice low in an attempt to avoid drawing attention, and whispered:
“Can everyone else not see you?”
[……]
“……”
They wouldn’t answer. Those little brats weren’t answering. Pyeii suddenly began playing with the ellipsis she’d made, and Chii remained silent, her hair flapping even as she looked away. Because of the time when I went out with Rangii, I assumed that they’d be visible to everyone, so what the hell! That means I’m the only weirdo here! The comfort I’d taken in knowing that Chii and Pyeii were suffering with me was all a lie!
[I’m bad with people. Not used to it.]
I’m not used to this either, and I have no intention of becoming used to this, so we were in the same boat there.
“Awooo…I’m also too embarrassed to show myself.”
In Chii’s case, I could understand her reluctance. After all, she was barefoot. If we weren’t careful, someone might report her to child services. But she’d been keeping her legs together and holding her skirt down this entire time. Wasn’t that uncomfortable? …Though, between the two of us, I was definitely more uncomfortable. I was like a rat worrying about a cat’s wellbeing. In the end, I decided not to try and tie a bell around those two cats’ necks. Because we were now almost at our destination.
After enduring this only just-bearable walk of shame, we arrived at a big clothing store. The entire first floor of the building had every manner of men’s and children’s clothes anyone could ever need. Everything was reasonably priced and of reasonable quality, so I shopped here occasionally. Though I never tried shopping here while looking like this.
“B-Big Brother?”
[…Here?]
Chii and Pyeii were both visibly shocked. But why? Regardless, there was a reason why I brought Pyeii here. The whole time Pyeii stayed at my house, she only ever wore the same outfit. No matter how much of a dullard I was, even I could notice that much. The same applied to Chii, but she would sometimes change the ribbons she used to tie her hair, or the length of her skirt, or other little things like the design on her panties. But Pyeii was totally different. Not a single part of her outfit ever changed, almost as if she had obsessive-compulsive disorder. No matter how young she was, she was still a girl. She had to want to change her get-up at least a little, right? That was why I brought here. To buy her some pretty clothes.
[What’re you planning?]
The sharp glint of her letters prompted me to respond.
“I want to buy you clothes.”
[…I only need this.]
Pyeii hugged herself, trying to stop herself from shaking. Was asking her to enter a building full of so many people asking too much of her? However, I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Because this was what Pyeii asked for. I gave Pyeii a light hug, a small embrace just strong enough to comfort her. Pyeii stopped shaking. The springy sensation of the prosthetics on my chest reminded me of my current sad situation.
“It’s okay, Pyeii. I know how you feel. But it should be okay to buy you just one piece of clothes, right? What if you have to go through something like I am right now?”
“But, Big Brother, Pyeii is….”
Pyeii stopped Chii from continuing what she was saying by pulling at her wrist. Chii closed her mouth and turned around to look at Pyeii. She shook her head. In response, Chii made a sad face and her head hung lifelessly down. …Did I make some kind of mistake? I was only able to think that for a moment. All of my attention was on the words Pyeii wrote as she pushed me forward. Because I wasn’t used to multitasking.
[Your revenge?]
I had to smile at what Pyeii wrote. As if I’d try and take revenge on her. And as if you could even call what I was doing revenge.
“I’m just being nosy.”
[…Creepy.]
Pyeii looked honestly creeped out when I said that. But I wasn’t going to let that get me down, and I stuck my tongue out at her.
“There’s nothing to be creeped out about.”
[I’m going to keep myself invisible.]
I already expected that. But I had already gone too far for me to back down.
“That’s fine.”
[…What?]
I grabbed Pyeii’s hand and walked towards the store while she was taken aback.
“Big Brother?”
Chii realized what I was doing, but all she did was call out to me with her eyes full of worry. It’s okay, Chii. Everything I’ve been through has made me stronger than you could possibly imagine!
…I’m sorry. I horribly underestimated how horrifying the world could be. From the very first step of my master plan, I was starting to go under. The second I entered the shop, everyone’s eyes fixed straight onto me. The store employee gave me a tight smile, as if unsure of how to deal with me. A bunch of ladies who were shopping stared at me, telling me with their eyes to get the hell out. But I trusted in the power of Pyeii’s makeup and dragged Pyeii towards the children’s section even as my face began to burn a bright red. However, the second step was even harder than the first.
“How’s this?”
I showed Pyeii a flowery, cute one piece dress.
[Wouldn’t look good.]
“Really? I think you’d look really pretty.”
“Awooo, Big Brother. People are making weird looks at you.”
I was well aware. If anyone saw a woman holding up children’s clothes and talking to herself, the immediate conclusion would be to question her mental health.
“Tsk tsk. At such a young age….”
“Hey, look at that girl.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Is she crazy?”
“What a poor girl.”
I already know that, so don’t talk about it.
“If there’s anything you like, feel free to get it as well, Chii. Today, everything’s on your big br—I mean, big sister.”
If anyone found out that I was a man crossdressing as a woman, I’d have to worry about the police. Though I might already have to worry about that because I was disrupting the shop’s business.
“Awoo. Awooooo….”
I apparently looked so pitiable that Chii was on the verge of tears. But I was fine with that. I was perfectly disguised as a woman. No one was going to find me out.
“Pyeii, how about this? I think this will look good on you.”
I leaned forward and held in front of Chii a slightly less colorful outfit. Right then. Someone’s shadow loomed over Pyeii’s head.
“What’re you doing looking like that?”
It was as if time stopped the moment I heard that familiar voice. Frozen as my body was, I forced my neck to crane up so that I could look at the source. The first thing I saw were a pair of massive breasts. However, unlike usual, I had no time to marvel at those breasts full of all the world’s hopes and dreams as I looked further up. There, I saw my childhood friend, the Bear Clan member-in-training, Narae, standing with a shopping bag in her hand and staring at me with a look of shock and, at the same time, disgust on her face. What should I do? That one second felt like an eternity. The adrenaline spiked in my blood even as I watched a disaster come at me faster than ever before. Figure something out, me. Figure out the way to overcome this calamity! Unfortunately, my pesized brain didn’t give me a lot of thinking capacity to work with.
“…Do I know you?”
As that pathetic question echoed in my head, I couldn’t help but feel that all that adrenaline rushing through my system was wasted. But I didn’t have a choice. I’d already grabbed the tiger’s tail, and now wasn’t the time to let go.
“Do I know you?”
Repeating that question elicited the same reaction as kicking a hibernating bear hard in the butt. Narae’s brow furrowed, and she looked almost exactly like a bear that, after failing to catch even a single salmon when upstream, decided to travel downstream and found the perfect riverbank to catch her prey.
[Escape.]
“Awooo.”
Chii and Pyeii immediately hid behind me. I wanted to hide behind something, too, but there was nowhere for me to hide. Maybe I should hide under Narae’s skirt. …She’d probably kill me.
“Um, have we met before…?”
“…What?”
She was mad. Seriously mad. Narae bit her lip so hard that I was afraid she was going to draw blood, when she glared at me with two infernos blazing in her eyes.
“After all the years we’ve known each other, do you think a little make up will keep me from recognizing you? Actually, before that. How were you planning on explaining the kids behind you?”
…Ah. Narae wasn’t a normal human. I never had a chance of hiding this from her. I wanted to write off this whole thing as a joke to calm Narae down and say, ‘I was surprised because I thought the make up was so good, hahaha.’ Except, if I was lucky, that excuse would result in my death, and if I was unlucky, then I’d be rendered unconscious. Why would bad luck lead to that, you ask? Because the moment I woke up, Narae would make sure I ended up dead.
“It’s just, I know how great your tolerance is and how deep your thoughts can go, and I promise that something as complicated as what you can imagine is what’s happening.”
“…Come with me for a sec.”
“Huh? Narae-unni? You’re hurting me. Please let go of my hand.”
“Stop saying weird things like that!”
I tried to say what I thought would be the least weird, but all I did was make Narae even angrier. …Though it was already too late for any of my words to calm her down.
Narae dragged me to the back of the children’s section with the two phantoms following behind me. It was as if I was about to be extorted by a gangster, and that wasn’t far from the truth. Except, rather than money, Narae would be taking my feelings…no, nothing romantic like that. She probably wanted my life. The moment Narae stopped walking, she asked me a question.
“Why’s your voice like that?”
“Like I said, the situation is really complicated.”
“I already figured that.”
Narae truly was such an understanding person. She was probably only upset because of what I said. I’d better apologize.
“You know I’m not mad because of how you look, right?”
I couldn’t help but feel sad at how proactive my childhood friend was. I lowered my head and apologized.
“I’m sorry. I was just so surprised, that I didn’t know what I was saying. I’m really sorry.”
“…You caught on quick.”
I had no idea how close I came to dying, but at least Narae’s temper seemed to died down almost completely. The kids were quick to notice this change, and their heads popped out from behind me. …You little brats. I know this is your first time seeing Narae angry, but couldn’t you both have helped me out before hiding?
Explaining the situation to Narae now that she’d calmed down turned out to be easier than babying Rangii. When I told her the reason why I was crossdressing and that we came here to go clothes shopping for Pyeii, Narae connected the dots and already figured out things I hadn’t told her. She made that fact clear to me. Because she was looking at me as if saying, ‘What a surprise. You actually used your head for once.’
“You idiot. You could’ve asked for my help for something like this.”
Or maybe that eye contact was actually a miscommunication. Narae ignored me as I regretted not thinking of that earlier, and she focused on Chii and Pyeii.
“Kiddos. Why don’t you go shopping with me? We can buy pretty clothes and then get something tasty to eat.”
Pyeii clutched at Chii’s clothes after Narae said those words that a stereotypical kidnapper would say.
“Awoooo. We are fine, Narae-unni. There is no need to go out of your way.”
“I’m offering because you two are so adorable. You see, I’ve always wanted younger siblings since I was a kid. Okay? You’d be doing me a favor. So let’s go shopping together.”
The sincerity in Narae’s voice and face caused Chii to hesitate, and she looked at Pyeii. Pyeii stole a glance at me before holding her fist to her chest and giving an almost imperceptible nod. Narae smiled, genuine happiness on her face.
“Just wait a second.”
Narae took out her cell phone and made a call.
“Daddy, it’s me.”
It looked like she called her old man. But why now?
“Yeah, nothing huge. I’m here with some kids I know, so could you clear out the department store for me?”
Did I mishear her? Chii and Pyeii were making the same face I was, so I guessed not. Narae ignored the phantoms and human who were so baffled by what she said and continued to talk on the phone.
“I already know. That’s why I’m asking you to do this. Can’t you do it, Daddy?”
Narae bit her lip, as if she were hearing something she didn’t like.
“All right. Fine. That’s absolutely fine, Papa. Then I’ll live with you forever. Forever!”
Narae’s old man’s spoke loudly enough for me to hear. Narae grimaced, pulling the phone away from her ear, before continuing.
“Really? Thank you, Daddy. I love you~”
Narae had a happy smile on her face. …Wait, what just happened? While I was so caught up in what happened, Pyeii tugged at my sleeve and pointed at Narae.
[She rich?]
“She is….”
She was the only daughter of the owner of a corporation that was doing well even overseas. I vaguely remembered her bragging about how she personally owned a bunch of stocks and shares in the company when we were younger. She said this so long ago that I’d completely forgotten until now. She never showed off her wealth or acted like a tycoon’s daughter, so I never had a reason to notice this.
[You’ve got talent.]
“…It’s not what you think.”
What kind of misunderstanding did she make in her head?
We were driven by Narae’s chauffeur in a super-expensive car to a department store in the heart of Seoul. Before Narae got out of the car, she spoke to Chii and Pyeii.
“You don’t have to keep yourselves hidden here.”
“Awooo?”
“I rented out the whole department store, so there’s no one inside.”
[Are you for real?]
Pyeii was visibly shocked when she wrote this letters, and Narae smiled brightly in response.
“Yep! So you don’t have to be worried about being seen.”
Pyeii looked relieved when she nodded.
But I had the strangest feeling that I’d seen this department store before in a dream. Was that just my imagination? Department stores tend to look similar, so I must be overthinking it. That aside, this was my first time seeing a department store with no employees inside. The only person there was a single security guard at the entrance. Walking through a deserted department store was a completely new experience. Before I could get lost in the novelty of this experience, Narae led us to the children’s section as if she already knew where it was. Not that I’m complaining.
“I want to talk with Sunghoon for a bit, so you two pick out and try anything you want.”
Why are you grabbing my ear? When she saw me like this, Pyeii put her hands together in prayer, the little brat. In contrast, my kind-hearted Chii had this to say:
“Awooo, please return with him alive.”
The kid was worried about me.
“Follow me.”
“It’s not like I have a cho—aaah~! You’re hurting me~!”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Zounds, the pain.”
“…That’s weird in its own way.”
What’s she asking me to do? Shut up. Okay. …Though I should mention that Narae never actually said that to me.
Narae dragged me with her until we arrived at a rest area in the far corner of the store. I sat in a chair, but Narae stayed standing as she eyed me slowly from top to bottom, her chin resting on her hand. Narae seemed a little upset, so I cautiously asked her:
“What’s wrong?”
“It just fits you so well.”
“That doesn’t make me happy in the slightest.”
“It’s only because of that caked on make up, but you look really pretty.”
“Thank you for the compliment.”
“…Never mind that. How’d you change your voice? I know it’s you, but your voice sounds exactly like a girl’s. It’s actually a little creepy.”
I didn’t answer, and instead unwrapped the cloth from my neck.
“There. Better?” I asked.
“Creepy,” she repeated.
“Please bear with it.”
“That aside, you’re cross dressing because of Pyeii, right?”
“Very astute of you. I thought you’d misunderstand.”
“…If you did get off on cross dressing, I really would drag you to my house, lock you up, and force you to go through psychological therapy.”
“Hahaha, what a funny joke.”
Was she joking? I decided to regard what she said as a joke. I changed the subject.
“But aren’t you being a little unreasonable to your old man? This request of yours seems a bit excessive.”
“The government will compensate us somewhat once I tell them that the closure is related to you and the phantoms, so don’t worry about it.”
That was news to me.
“For real? That can happen?”
“Don’t underestimate the government. Those bureaucrats take anything and everything related to phantoms very seriously. To them, people like you and me are pretty much main characters.”
I had no idea. Because I never bothered to think about it like that. To me, Rangii was just Rangii, so there was never any reason for me to delve deeper into this topic. But, from another point of view, I could easily be seen as a person deeply connected with a phantom who could collapse the nation on a whim. I never noticed this until now, but could it be that I was actually a main character?
“That’s not what’s important right now.”
…I had the strange feeling that this might end up becoming important later. But I decided to think about that later.
“What were you thinking when you brought Pyeii here?” Narae asked.
“…What?”
Because Narae wasn’t giving me any time to think about anything else.
“You know that Pyeii is extremely introverted.”
I nodded.
“Exactly, so I thought to get a step closer to fixing it, we could….”
“And that’s why you went there?”
I had no idea what the problem was.
“You know how much Pyeii hates being seen by others. You should have known that taking her to such a busy place would be a bad idea.”
…Ah. I understood what Narae was trying to tell me. But my agreement with her didn’t change one fact.
“But just having her stay at home all day wouldn’t….”
“I know.”
With anyone other than Narae, I would have lost my temper.
“The problem was the method, not the intent. You know that trying to change too much all at once can only make things worse.”
I did. I knew that fact. That was why, back when Chii and I first met, I waited patiently until Chii was ready to trust me, to rely on me. But that wasn’t the case here. Because Pyeii herself wanted to change.
“I can tell what you’re thinking.”
“…Don’t use magic on me.”
“Your train of thought isn’t difficult to follow.”
There was another Saehee standing in front of me.
“Is it really that simple?”
“After spending over ten years with you, anyone could do this much.”
Then what was Saehee? A ghost, of course. Whatever.
“The problem here is, ‘too much, too fast.’ You get that, right?”
“…Meaning I’m a dumb ass,” I said.
“Do you know why we wear clothes?”
If I answered, ‘Because it’d be weird not to,’ then she’d probably throw me forcibly out the window. Though, for whatever reason, the only other answer I could think of was because it’s cold.
“…Sometimes, people wear clothes for the sake of showing them to other people,” Narae said.
“I don’t care how other people see me.”
“You really should…no, never mind.”
Narae shook her head. I was getting a bad feeling. Narae pretended not to notice and continued.
“Look. Taking someone to buy pretty clothes also means buying a new way to hide a part of yourself from others. I bet you never considered how Pyeii would think of your offer.”
…Ah. Only then did I realize what Narae was trying to tell me. Her words also revealed to me the extent of my thickheadedness. Like Narae said, my only thoughts were that it would be a good idea to take Pyeii outside and buy her a cute outfit or two. But my actions could easily put Pyeii in an environment she wasn’t comfortable in. A situation rife with irony because she’s buying clothes even though she’s keeping herself hidden. How stupid am I? Why didn’t I realize that? This was all just to fulfill my own selfish….
My thoughts cut off there. When I came back to my senses, Narae was right in front of me, her nose barely inches away from my own. I tried to turn away in surprise, but I found I couldn’t. Narae was holding my face in place, her hands planted on my cheeks.
“Too quick to the trigger again.”
Narae looked at me with the eyes of a mother consoling her child who’d just fallen.
“Sunghoon. Everyone makes mistakes. Even I’m known to occasionally make some. The important thing is what you do after. All right?”
I nodded. Narae looked like a great weight was just lifted off her shoulders and she continued.
“Also, don’t be so serious. That’s one of your strengths, but also one of your weaknesses. What I was talking about was only a possibility, not fact. I brought Pyeii here just in case something like that happened, that’s all. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
I wanted to nod again, but I couldn’t. Because if I did, I’d end up making contact with Narae. But Narae understood.
“Then that’s that. Don’t get too down over this. Who knows, maybe she’ll have been touched at how you were willing to cross dress and go through everything just for her.”
“Are we talking about the same Pyeii?”
I seriously doubted that would happen.
“Aren’t you underestimating us girls? Even as kids, our feelings are seriously complex.”
I have never underestimated girls. In actuality, girls terrified me.
“All the women around me are terrifying, so I have even thought of that.”
Though that response caused Narae to pinch me.
I rubbed my aching forearm and walked with Narae back to the store. There, Chii was picking out a variety of outfits for Pyeii. Pyeii couldn’t even write a letter in opposition to Chii, and she resignedly did as Chii wanted. So Chii really did have a leash on Pyeii.
“How about this?” Chii asked.
[Wouldn’t look good on me.]
“You won’t know unless you try it on. Please start with this.”
[I-I need to put it on?]
“Yes, you do.”
[I don’t know how to put it on.]
At that obvious lie, Chii grabbed Pyeii by her wrist.
“Then I can help you.”
[…Ack. I don’t need anything like that.]
Even as Pyeii wrote that, Chii dragged her steadily towards the changing room. I guess even she couldn’t fully fight back against her friend.
“You pick out some clothes, too.”
That applied to me as well.
“Me?” I asked.
“You don’t have any clothes like that at home, right?”
“You’re joking. Aren’t you?”
“Are you seriously asking?”
Narae had a smile cute enough to cause my heart to go into spasms on her face and she stuck her tongue out at me.
“Besides, you don’t have much clothes in general. There’s plenty of clothes for you to pick through downstairs, so take anything you want.”
I had enough clothes for daily life, but I decided to take up Narae on her goodwill.
“Then I’ll be back soon.”
I entrusted Chii and Pyeii to her and rode the escalator downstairs.
The veritable flood of options available to me was enough to plunge my commoner brain into pure chaos. It was like how the large selection of goods available on the Internet makes it hard to decide on what you actually want. But it was the insane numbers on the price tags that made me unable to pick anything. Good gravy, how could a single shirt cost that much? And the pants weren’t even worth considering. Narae told me to pick out anything I wanted, but with the price on my mind, I could only select two attractive-looking sets of pants and shirts. I had always been a cautious person who would rather take too little than too much. I considered going back immediately, but I figured this was a good chance for Narae to get closer with the kids, so I decided to kill some time while sitting in a chair. With my head emptied of any thoughts, I began to feel a little sleepy. Was it because I’ve been so worried all the time? In the blink of an eye, I conked right out.