There were lots of dishes left to clean, so it felt as though my suffering were being prolonged. I was hugging Narae for the entire time, and the parts of my body where I made physical contact with Narae began to sweat. I decided to take a quick, cold shower after this was over. That way, when we’re eating, Rangii won’t sniff my chest when she’s sitting in my lap. At this rate, though, the sweat from my hands may end up making Narae’s slender waist feel sticky. …Narae probably wouldn’t enjoy that. I inched my clasped hands upwards so that they were resting above Narae’s bellybutton. Phew, it feels a little cooler. I relaxed a little as my hands cooled off. But a few seconds later…
“Heek?!”
Narae flinched.
“W-wait. S-Sunghoon. You’ve…”
“What?”
“Y-your hand is…”
Huh? What about my hand? I looked at first at Narae’s reddened face, then shifted my gaze down.
This may seem rather sudden, but gravity had successfully brought my hands closer to the ground. I thought that my hands were still resting comfortably above Narae’s belly button, but because I had relaxed my arms, my hands naturally fell slowly lower. My hands were now caught on the waistline of her hot pants. This would have been bad enough, but the situation was made even worse when I realized that the weight of my hands was enough to push my pinky fingers ever-so-slightly inside her pants. And what I felt with my fingertips wasn’t the feeling of Narae’s underwear, but her…
“U-uwagh!”
Shocked, I immediately raise my hands and take a step back. I was so shocked, in fact, that I forgot that my hands were still clasped around Narae’s waist.
“Kya?!”
“Ugh?!”
“Unyaa?!”
Narae lost her balance as I pulled her backwards. And the same was true for me. But I’m a man! So I held Narae tight and forced one foot back in order to regain our balance…except that didn’t work, and we both fell down in spectacular fashion. Even as my leg swung upwards, I didn’t fail to notice the banana peel lying on the ground.
I wonder who the ghost was that put the banana peel there?
“Sunghoon! Narae! Are you two okay?!”
Owwww…Does it look like we’re okay?
“I-I’m okay.”
My butt seriously hurts. Same for my back. Maybe I had unconsciously absorbed the advice that Ara gave me, because I kept my head up when I fell. But, almost as if in place of a potential concussion, my hands that I’d kept clasped together…had slid up and were now pushing up Narae’s breasts.
…Sorry, what?
Wait. I need to calm down. Keep my wits about me. I need to calm down and objectively examine the situation. Okay, so first, Narae is sprawled on top of me. This makes perfect sense since we both fell together. Actually, this was a blessing. Narae is probably less hurt than me.
“Ouch…”
Though she isn’t totally unharmed. Regardless, because I threw my clasped hands upwards when I fell, they ended up propping up Narae’s breasts. The fact of the situation I’m facing is that Narae’s lying on top of me, my hands forcibly pushing up her breasts, and my death’s just about been sealed.
“Ah…”
These words and actions are meant for Narae. I forced open my hands hard enough to break the joints in my fingers, and flung my arms toward my head. I swear I’m not a degenerate—I didn’t mean to do this—I’m innocent. I moved my arms away in order to communicate these words, but I doubted my message got through to my recipient. Narae sat up, still sitting on my body, and looked at me. Her face was glowing brighter than the sun. Even if it was an accident, there was no excuse I could give for touching her breasts. But Narae didn’t hit me. Instead, she nearly killed me with her words alone.
“…You g-got b-b-bigger h-here.”
Only then did I notice a certain change my body had went through while I was preoccupied with Narae’s breasts and the pain from the fall. I never imagined that I’d have to say these words again, but what choice do I have now?
Narae was sitting on a dreadful part of me. I’d kill myself if anyone were to see me like this.
“Hm? What got bigger…ah! That place? Saehee taught me about it! She said that that’s proof that Sunghoon’s a healthy man!”
And someone did see me like this. I slid out from under her, not realizing that this would cause Narae to plop onto the ground, and ran away to my room, echoes of my ashamed scream trailing behind me.
“…I told you, I get it. after all, you’re a guy.”
“…”
I ignored Narae and continued to sit crouched in the corner of the room. I sat there, my face covered my legs, as I emulated the subject of a painting wishing nothing more than for his own death. Ahahaha. Please just let me die. Let me fade from this cruel world.
“I-it’s just a natural physical reaction.”
“…”
“and it was my fault, right? So I’m not mad at all.”
Boys and girls are similar in a vast array of things. The feeling of embarrassment is one of them. Just like how a girl would get embarrassed if her breasts were bouncing up and down as she ran, a boy would get embarrassed if he were to accidentally think dirty thoughts and end up with an…Aghhhhhhh! Dammit! Why am I torturing myself like this?!
“I’m not mad, so let’s go to the master bedroom now, okay?”
Whatever.
“Rangii’s worried about you.”
I wanted to shout, Well what about me?
“…Keep this up and I might really get mad.”
The ‘I’ve had it up to here with this, so unless you get up right now, I’ll hit you,’ sentiment hidden in her voice caused me to shelve my wounded mental health and listen to her for the sake of preserving my life. When I looked up, I saw Narae sitting on her haunches in front of me.
“See? You’re quick to notice things like this.”
Narae sighed softly, almost sadly, and gave me a slight knock on the head. It didn’t hurt.
“Still, aren’t you being a little too sensitive for a guy? Since you acted like that, I wasn’t able to say anything.”
What guy wouldn’t be embarrassed after the girl he likes sees that part of him? But Narae also suffered embarrassment because of me. I should ask for her forgiveness first.
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s fine. If you were the type to do something like that on purpose, there’s no way I would’ve stayed silent about that until now.”
Narae stuck her tongue out playfully.
“Then can you please go? I’d like to be alone.”
“You want another bonk on the head?”
“I’ll be going to the master bedroom, then.”
I quickly stood up before Narae could take out a certain object from between her breasts. I had absolutely no desire to see a brutal weapon like that again.
When I entered the master bedroom, I found Rangii walking back and forth inside the room, consumed with worry. She turned towards the door when she heard it roll open, and, on the verge of tears, she trotted towards me. I leaned forward slightly, held Rangii by the waist, and lifted her up as she ran towards me. I did this to prevent her from hugging me. In case she wanted to stick her head under my shirt again. Rangii didn’t notice my true intentions and instead stared searchingly at my face before breaking out into a huge grin.
“You look all better now! What happened?! Why’d you run away screaming back then?”
Don’t make me remember.
“He just had to. Keep prying, and you’ll just make Sunghoon uncomfortable.”
Narae spoke in my place, keeping a hand over her mouth to hide the small smile on her face. Rangii made a question mark with her hair and thought hard about what Narae said, then nodded her head.
“Okay. If it’ll make Sunghoon uncomfortable, then I won’t ask about it anymore.”
I am truly grateful for that, Tiger-nim. I put Rangii down on the ground, then sat cross-legged in front of the sofa and leaned back against it. I should just watch TV and forget everything that happened. But when I turned the TV on with the remote, Rangii all too naturally sat in the empty spot that was my lap.
“It’s hot,” I complained.
“I’m okay,” Rangii replied cheerfully.
“I’m saying I feel hot.”
“Of course you feel hot.”
I gave up on convincing Rangii to get off of me. It would take too much effort to get her off of me, so I decided to let her have her way. In a display of surrender, I sighed softly and wrapped my arms around Rangii’s belly.
“Heheheh.”
Rangii laughed victoriously and wriggled her body, bringing her back to rest squarely on my chest. Children’s body temperature really is incredibly high, so how could I not feel hot? Couldn’t you have done this in the winter, at least? That way, even if I didn’t want to hug you, I’d snuggle up next to you just so I could use you as a heater. …I’m just kidding, of course. Ah, but Rangii really does feel way too hot. Isn’t there anything I can do?
“Rangii, you can’t sit there.”
It’s a rule that we childhood friends have the ability to communicate without talking. At Narae’s reasonable and perfectly valid words, Rangii bent her neck back to look up at Narae, who had taken a seat on the sofa, and formed a question mark with her hair.
“Why do you say that?”
“You’re making Sunghoon uncomfortable.”
Rangii turned to look at me.
“Really? Am I making you uncomfortable?”
Looking up at me with that childlike gaze is plain cheating. Now I can’t tell her the truth even if I wanted to.
“N-no.”
Rangii shifted her position after I said that. She triumphantly leaned back to make even more contact with my chest and gave a cute little snort at Narae.
“See? Sunghoon said it’s okay!”
Looking at me with the sharp glare of a childhood friend is plain cheating. Now it feels like it’s the middle of winter rather than the middle of summer. I turn my head to the side, averting my eyes from my childhood friend’s murderous gaze. That was a mistake. I was too preoccupied worrying about Narae to worry about Rangii.
“Plus I really, really love sitting here because it feels like Sunghoon and I have become one.”
Let me make this very clear: Rangii said that solely with the naive and pure innocence that children naturally possess. Narae and I, however, were not so lucky. Before either one of us could say a word, both our faces turned bright red.
“S-still!”
Narae struggled with her words, trying to figure out what to say.
“Narae-nim.”
“Kya?!”
Saehee appeared behind Narae. Her surprise entrances would put even Hong Gildong to shame (tn: Hong Gildong is basically Korean Robinhood). I had become accustomed to them, so I was okay, but Narae screamed and ran to my side. Saehee continued to speak even after watching Narae react like this.
“Whatever could have caused you such surprise? Did you perhaps have an identity crisis after seeing a woman with breasts larger than yours?”
“The heck kind of nonsense is that? This was your fault, and you know it!”
“Ah, I see. That aside, there is something I wish to tell you.”
Narae seemed to give up on arguing with Saehee who was so casually dismissing her angry remarks, and she put her hands on her hips as she replied.
“And what’s that?”
“Please come this way.”
“W-what? Hey!”
Saehee grabbed Narae by the wrist and dragged her towards the corner of the room. I couldn’t tell what they were doing from here, but I got an ominous feeling. Were my senses, honed from multiple harrowing experiences, sending me a warning? …But I felt that a man’s intuition shouldn’t be heeded and instead decided to focus on watching TV. Just when I began to feel somewhat removed from the events being depicted on the news, I heard someone walking towards me. It was Narae. Narae was looking down at Rangii and me, her face blushing furiously.
“What’s wrong?”
Narae’s voice was unsteady, almost as if she were scared of what she was saying.
“Um, for the video, she said I have to sit on your lap.”
I guess I should listen to my men’s intuition. Did Saehee take her to the corner to have her read that novel or script or whatever? I turned my head sharply to look at Saehee. She was busy fitting a smartphone onto a tripod, a yellow band tied around her arm. It had the word Director written on it. The heck is all that?
“Then while the camera is rolling, I shall go prepare our meal.”
I was about to yell at Saehee, asking her what the heck she was supposed to be, but before I could, Narae bent down, picked up Rangii from my lap, and set her down on the sofa. Rangii, confused at this sudden development, had her tail stuck fast to her belly.
“W-what are you doing?”
“I-I’m going to sit there now.”
And she did just as she said she would. She sat down on my newly vacant lap. I flinched backwards, my arms flying into the air in shock, and Narae put her back against my chest. Rangii pouted after seeing that, and spoke sulkily.
“Uu…”
Narae was so embarrassed that even the tips of her ears were bright red. She couldn’t even bring herself to turn around, and instead lowered her head and spoke to Rangii.
“R-Rangii, you had S-Sunghoon all to yourself while I wasn’t here. So now it’s my turn…is what she told me to say.“
Even so, I have the right to control what happens to my body. But the feeling of Narae’s ample behind on my lap was incredibly dangerous. Rangii’s butt also felt soft, but Narae’s was on a totally different scale. The incredible sensation of Narae’s behind and its weight pushing down on my lap drove me to make these hysterical descriptions. That was close. My time of death nearly ended up being 8:45. If this continues, that really may end up happening, so I need to get Narae off of me somehow. But I can’t just force her off of me, since she has the legitimate reason of filming the video to sit here. In that case, I should come up with an excuse to get her to sit down next to me instead. I know that this is for the video, but there’s no reason why the three of us couldn’t happily watch TV together instead of going to such extremes. Why is this necessary? Saehee, do you seriously want to see me go stark raving mad?
“Um, Narae-nim. My leg’s gone asleep.”
“W-wait! What’s that supposed to mean? Are you saying I’m heavy?!”
Narae turned around and looked at me angrily. I couldn’t tell if her face was red from anger or embarrassment; I felt as though she could easily be classified as one of the seven wonders of the world.
“In comparison to Rangii you are.”
Speaking of, the comparatively light Rangii was sitting next to me, continuously poking me in the side. Narae bit down hard on her lip after I said that, and then tossed her head to the side.
“T-then stretch your legs.”
…She’s a genius. While Narae lifted her butt off my lap, I straightened my legs. Phew. And just when I thought everything was going to be okay, Narae bent her legs so that she was kneeling rather than sitting. But instead of moving forward, she moved back towards me so that her butt would land on my lap even as she kneeled. Then she pushed my legs together so that she was effectively trapping them with her own bent legs. This all happened within the span of three seconds.
“N-Narae?”
“I-it’s fine now, right? Your legs shouldn’t hurt anymore.”
“T-that isn’t the problem.”
There were two problems with the way she was sitting. First, my lap. Narae’s butt was making full contact with my lap. All right. I could handle that much. But Narae was pushing the whole of her body against my own, from her back all the way down to her butt, so that there wasn’t even a single gap between us. And because she was leaning back, she was effectively stuck fast to me. Um…you can guess what I’m trying to say, right? I pushed against Narae’s back with both my hands and leaned back to keep as much distance between Narae and me as possible. I did this thinking it was necessary for my personal survival, but it was a mistake. Because there was a jealous tiger with her mouth watering for even a hint of an opening.
“That’s my spot!”
Rangii moved like someone trying to claim an empty seat in the middle of a crowded subway train. She honed in on the sliver of empty space between Narae and me as if she owned it.
“Ugh?!”
Unable to keep upright after Rangii flung herself at me, I fell with my back to the ground. This is likely common knowledge, but lying down with your legs crossed puts quite the strain on your body. And for someone who isn’t particularly flexible like me, it could even be painful. I tried to straighten my legs, but Narae’s legs trapped me in place.
“It hurts! It seriously hurts!”
As if trying to make up for her recent lack of screen-time—I mean skinship—Rangii leaned forward, lifted her shirt, and cradled my head to her exposed chest. Hey, hey! I can feel them! This is way too direct! My psyche warned me that jerking away from her would bring about a certain reaction from Rangii. S-someone save me!
“…I have prepared the meal, but I see that you have already started. Please enjoy yourself. I shall be back with dessert shortly.”
“That won’t be necessary!!”
I shouted at Saehee while pushing Rangii away by the waist.
“…Tch. Already?” said Narae.
“…Uu. I haven’t had enough yet,” whined Rangii.
Both of them were fully ready to kill me.
“Anyway, let’s go! It’s time to eat!”
What I said was too reasonable to ignore. Amidst a host of grumbling, Narae and Rangii released me. I tried to calm my racing heart. My mental facilities were having difficulty handling everything. But trying to calm myself was like telling Baduk not to eat a delicious meal after starving for three days! Except instead of three days of starvation, I’ve been enduring this catastrophic temptation!
I wonder if the term, Speak of the Baduk, is accurate. I received my answer the moment I sat at the table that Saehee had set.
“Is it food time?”
Baduk opened the door and entered the room, her tail wagging as always. Good. I should try and follow Baduk’s example and calm down.
C-c-crack.
Narae twisted my head around.
“Uwaaaagh!”
“Just what do you think you’re looking at?” said Narae accusingly.
I’m looking at you.
“W-what’s the problem?”
“…There was a dirty look in your eyes just now.”
“There seriously wasn’t!”
I shouted this with all my heart. I wasn’t looking at you! Or Rangii! Or Chii! Or even Saehee! Of all the people I could possibly look at less than pure intentions, Baduk isn’t one of them!
“…”
Narae glared at me with her fingers blocking her ears, more annoyed at my shouting than anything. I held back tears as I lowered my head.
“I’m sorry for shouting.”
I’m scared. Stress may end up reducing me to nothing but bone before I can make it back to Seoul.
“If you make it back to Seoul at all, Young Master.”
“Don’t say scary stuff like that so casually.”
I replied with a snippy remark and raised my spoon.
“B-but Sunghoon.”
Narae had something she wanted to ask me.
“What is it?”
“I-I’m only doing this for the video, so don’t misunderstand, got it?! S-Saehee’s making me do this!”
I had no idea what she planned on doing, and I nodded my head cluelessly.
“Uh, okay.”
After hearing my response, Narae grabbed my hand, moved it to the side, and took a seat on my lap. She went so far as to put one of her hands on the back of my neck. Narae’s cleavage was right in front of my eyes. …Wait, what?
This all happened so naturally that I had difficulty believing my own eyes.
“Ack?! You beat me to it!”
Rangii said something strange, but never mind that.
“Whatever are you doing, Narae-nim?” I asked, bewildered.
Narae’s lips were quivering as she forced herself to speak.
“F-feed me.”
…I didn’t even have the energy to give an adequate respond. Well, eating should solve my energy issue.
“I mean, aren’t you a little old to be…”
Narae leaned forward coyly, tilted her head to the side so that she was looking directly at me, and put her finger to her cheek.
“My name’s Narae. I’m onwy eight yeaws old.”
Narae’s baby speak is so cuuuuuuute!! Wait, no! I need to come back to my senses! Come back, I say!
“Sunghoon Papa, won’t you f-feed me?”
Dammit! I’ll just leave senses for Baduk to pick up! Fine! I’ll feed you! As if I could say no! It’s just feeding you! Feeding you shouldn’t be a problem in the slightest! I don’t care even if the whole world were to curse me in the process! As if I could say no to Narae when she looks so cute as she’s blushing from how embarrassed she is of what she said!
…Actually, maybe I can’t. There was a problem. A huge problem. The problem was that Narae wasn’t as small as a kid. She may have been acting like a child, but she possessed the body of a full-grown woman. A particularly well-developed one. And when sitting on my lap, she was actually taller than me. Meaning right in front of my face was Narae’s cleavage.
Never mind feeding Narae—with Narae sitting on me like this, I couldn’t even feed myself. If I were to spill anything, then I could end up in a sticky situation.
“…Ah, um, sorry, but I don’t think that that’ll be physically possible.”
I said that with my head turned away. Narae realized what I meant.
“…I-I see.”
Blushing to even the tips of her ears, Narae mercifully withdrew her previous command. I was a little disappointed, but I should feel relieved. After all, you shouldn’t play with your food. Dammit, but I can’t help the fact that I’m crying right now inside my head.
“I’m going to start eating now.”
But Rangii was acting strange. She stared intently at her rice bowl, then at me, then looked back at the rice bowl with her spoon now clenched in her hand, before sitting frozen still, her gaze fixed solely on me. I wish that were all that happened, but when I ignored her, Rangii put down her spoon, put her hands below the table, and lowered her head. She looked utterly miserable. And the reason…was probably me. Because who or what besides me could cause her to look so miserable? Not only was I so occupied by everything with Narae that I couldn’t play with her, but Narae even took my lap, a spot that Rangii felt was hers alone. But the biggest problem of all was that this was happening during our meal.
Remember? Back when I got mad because of Chii’s pranks and Rangii ended up as miserable as now. Rangii stayed like that until after the meal was over, and that was the only time I had ever seen Rangii not eat during a meal. And remember Saehee, when that happened? I’m mentioning this because…
“……”
In about five seconds, Saehee is going to make that terrifying transformation. I decided to sacrifice my peaceful meal for my continued survival.
“Rangii.”
Her drooping ears perked up, and her tail that had been lying limply on the ground suddenly stood up and began shaking. Rangii’s head swung up, and she looked at me with eyes shining like the North Star on a clear winter night.
“What is it?!”
She was so happy that she didn’t even pay attention to her speech style. …This made me feel bad. I should give Rangii some more attention. (tn: Rangii spoke in normal Korean just now. She normally speaks in archaic Korean)
Without saying a word, I patted my knee. Viewing this as her cue, she jumped and sat on my lap before even saying anything.
“Heheheh! I love you so, so, so, so much!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I was playing with fire.
“……”
And by fire, I meant Narae. She was glaring at me so hard it hurt. Actually, it was my side that hurt. I held in my cry of pain and spoke.
“No, you see, Rangii, still, has trouble, eating, by herself.”
I had a difficult time speaking as I held in my scream.
“Ah, really?”
Thankfully, Narae let me off the hook. Now it was time to eat. I picked up my spoon, and Narae spoke to Rangii.
“Rangii.”
Will this meal ever come to an end?
“What is it?” Rangii asked.
“I’ll feed you. Come over here.”
Narae patted her leg, her exposed thigh almost blindingly bright and alluring to my eyes. But Rangii puffed out her cheeks, pouted, and tossed her head to the side.
“I don’t want to. I like sitting with Sunghoon more.”
Ah, a vein’s popping out in Narae’s forehead. Narae tried to keep her temper down, but the visible strain on Narae’s face only made her look scarier.
“You’ll bother Sunghoon when he’s eating. So come over here.”
“Sunghoon.”
Rangii grasped my shirt in two tight fists and looked imploringly at me.
“Am I a being a bother?”
Those amber eyes were fully prepared to turn on the waterworks depending on my answer. And Sahee had both of her hands clenched on the table. She was fully ready to flip the table onto its back based on my response.
Did she remember that time I myself flipped the table? Meanwhile, Narae was staring sharply at me. I need to say something. Otherwise, my lunch will be sent flying into the sky.
“am I really a being a bother?”
She’ll cry. She’ll seriously cry. If I don’t say something, she’s going to cry. The table began to tilt to one side. Narae’s fingers made contact with my side. Baduk held her utensils in her mouth and picked up her rice bowl and a plate of beef. In the midst of this chaos, I prepared myself for death.
“You’re not.”
Narae’s fingers tore a hole through my side.
I don’t particularly dislike summer. Even if it is a little hotter than winter, I altogether prefer summer because it’s easy to cool myself down with an electric fan and some ice-cold water. At the very least, washing dishes during the summer doesn’t make my hands feel like they’ll freeze off. But now, I couldn’t help but long for the winter.
“…Hey.”
After helping clear the table after the absolute worst lunch of my life, I spoke to Saehee, who was leisurely watching TV in the same room as me.
“I am attempting to enjoy a masterpiece, Young Master.”
I wanted to destroy this house’s fuse box. Granted, I was using the computer to surf the web right now, but if that meant I could mess with Saehee, then it’d be more than worth it.
“Such an act would cost you your life.”
I want to live.
“Then take out the electric fan for me.”
That device helps diffuse heat. TV’s give off more heat the larger they are, and sitting in this room was a huge one. And was that all? The computer I was currently using was giving off a lot of heat. The master bedroom, filled with those two heat-producing objects, felt like it was five degrees hotter than the other rooms. Narae and Rangii couldn’t stand the heat and left for the courtyard. At first, I was delighted by my long-awaited moment of peace and quiet, but even that feeling had a limit. I had spent the last twenty minutes sitting here, sweat dripping down my face, and I was actually considering leaving for the courtyard, braving Narae and Rangii, simply to escape this heat. But Saehee had something to say.
“I feel fine.”
Our dear resident ghost appeared to have sold all her heat during Daeboreum (tn: Cultural reference. A saying that Sunghoon’s using ironically.) Then again, she’s the kind of person who could run around under the blazing sun while wearing a thick, double-layered hanbok and not sweat a single drop. This temperature must be nothing to her. But I had something to say.
“I don’t.”
“Is there a problem?”
She kept her gaze focused on the TV. When it’s hot, people’s tempers flare more easily.
“Don’t you know you’re supposed to look a person in the eye when you talk to him?”
“Such etiquette only applies when talking with a human.”
“Woof! Woof woof!!”
“You are barking, I gather.”
I considered throwing the mouse at her. No, no. I need to calm down. If I lose my temper here, I don’t know how Saehee will retaliate. I could easily wake up one day to find a heating mat on the floor, an electric blanket wrapped around me, and heaters installed in the room. That probably wouldn’t even be all, considering Saehee.
“Rather than doing something so tiresome, I could instead drop off you on the equator, Young Master.”
It was tiring to even respond.
“I told you to stop reading my mind.”
“My apologies, my thoughts got mixed up.”
What does that have to do with reading someone’s mind? If that’s what happens, then I wish my thoughts would get a little mixed up too.
“I am only explaining this because I have a feeling that you failed to realize this, Young Master, but I was simply parodying the catchphrase of a certain snail girl.”
“What’re you talking about?”
She only made me more confused.
“I am mentioning this because some viewers mistakenly believed that when I said, ‘This makes it easier to animate,’ that I was referencing anime. In truth, I was parodying the same girl’s dialogue as well. Phantoms and ghosts. Are we not quite similar?”
I think the heat melted Saehee’s brain.
“Hey, hello there? Who are you talking with right now? Are there people in this house who exist in other dimensions?”
“I was merely joking, Young Master who exists solely in the first dimension.”
Apparently, I only looked like a dot to Saehee.
“What, does that mean you live in the second dimension?”
“I am a fourth-dimensional being.”
So she can maneuver through space-time. Though, based on her track record, her being a fourth-dimensional being would make sense.
“No, enough with the physics jokes. Could you get out the fan for me? I get that air conditioners aren’t allowed because of Rangii, but a fan should be fine, right?”
“Young Master, you appear no different from a child begging his parents for snack money. Did you learn your manners from a fantasy game?”
“Even fantasy games can teach good manners.” (tn: apparently this exchange was some kind of South Korean pop culture reference.)
“Then, in true fantasy game fashion, will you be claiming the Frozen Throne?” (tn: a WoW reference.)
“I’ll probably die of the heat first.”
“Kkachi-nim would be overjoyed.”
“Why would she be?”
After all, we came to like each other.
Crap, our conversation went off on a tangent again.
“Just shut up and get out the fan. Otherwise, I’ll lure Rangii in here to watch the news with me.”
“…Tch.”
Saehee clicked her tongue and reached into her sleeve. Nice. That got through to her. Fufufu. Don’t you underestimate humanity. And while I basked in my victory, Saehee handed me…a folding fan. I looked at it again: definitely a folding fan. The kind that slides open loudly with a flick of the wrist. It had a beautiful design made of back ink, but that wasn’t the issue.
“Hey, you prick. Since when did electric fan mean folding fan?”
“Were you unaware? A folding fan is merely a hand-operated electric fan.”
That’s not how that works.
“And, what, I’m supposed to power it myself? Is an electric fan really too much to ask?”
Only then did Saehee turn her gaze away from the TV. That’s right—this entire time, Saehee looked at nothing but the TV. She looked at me.
“Young Master.”
“What?”
“A product of modern civilization’s technological innovation has no place here, in a place so attuned with nature. Please put up with the folding fan for the sake of creating pleasant memories of the countryside.”
I pointed at the TV without saying a word. Pardon me, what was that? Pleasant memories of the countryside? A place attuned with nature?
“The TV is irrelevant.”
Within that statement was an unspoken command: unless you plan on asking why Rangii is so cute, or why Chii’s hair flaps, or even why Narae’s breasts are so huge, then don’t pry into that topic anymore. I decided to simply give up entirely. Will the day ever come that I’ll win an argument with her? Maybe? No, I can’t lose hope. The day will surely come that I’ll smile victoriously after winning against Saehee.
And right then, the main character of the anime Saehee was watching said this:
[You think you can beat me? I wonder what the odds of that are? One in a thousand? One in ten thousand? A million? A billion? Or maybe a trillion?]
…It was almost as though that were timed to tear down my confidence.
“That aside, Young Master. There is something I wish to tell you.”
Saehee asked me that while I was busy crazily asking myself if it was possible to get into a fist fight with an anime character.
“What is it?”
“Filming is fast approaching the final stage. I believe I only need to film one or two more scenes and filming will be complete.”
Whoa, that was welcome news. That’s right: didn’t she say she only needed four or five scenes? Maybe I’ll be able to bid this paradise-like hell goodbye.
“…I see you have failed to understand the true meaning of why I told you this.”
“You mean you weren’t just giving me a heads up?”
“The fundamental reason why people speak to others is to prompt a particular response.”
W-why bring up something so deep?
“In this case, I meant for you to steel your will in preparation for the next scene. Young Master, who fails to read in between the lines or notice obvious foreshadowing.”
Saehee then forced me to leave the room for the courtyard. With the folding fan in hand, of course.
When I entered the courtyard, I saw Narae and Rangii avoiding the heat by sitting in the shade on bamboo mats. Since Baduk was nowhere to be seen, she must have went back underneath the porch. I guess I should be happy that Rangii didn’t do the same. Baduk being Baduk is one thing, but if Rangii were to copy her, I might even start crying. For the sake of all the phantoms who look up to her.
Narae fanned herself with her hand and ruffled her shirt, catching my attention immediately, and Rangii was flapping her shirt up and down to cool herself off. More and more, I wanted to go back into the master bedroom. Trying my hardest to keep my gaze from focusing on their gleaming expanses of their uncovered parts, I took a seat at the corner, a small distance behind them. I came here to film the video, but surviving those flashy displays of skin was my top priority. Huuuu. The kitchen was a lot cooler than the master bedroom. And with the fan, I could cool myself off even more. Ah, maybe I should take a shower instead.
“Ah!”
Rangii, in a daze from the heat, suddenly shouted, stopped flapping her clothes, and ran hurriedly towards me. The scorching weather was so hot that Rangii sat down to my left rather than cling to me.
“You have a fan!”
That’s right, a fan. If only things were that simple. I realized what it was that Rangii wanted, and before she could say anything else, I closed the fan open with a loud clack! and pointed at the master bedroom.
“Go ask Saehee for one. There’s also one in my room. Want me to get you it?”
I found a fan with a yin-yang design on it when Chii was here, back when I rummaged through the entire house. Rangii shook her head at my kind proposal. Damn brat.
“I want Sunghoon to fan me.”
No thanks. Fanning someone else is just menial labor that ends up raising the body temperature of the one using the fan. In that case, I’d rather give you the fan.
“Here, the fan. Fan yourself.”
“Don’t be like that and fan me. Hm? Pleeeeease?”
She put her hands on her chest and shook from side to side, trying to charm me into doing what she wanted. Geez, are you that against fanning yourself? I never imagined I’d end up thinking this now, but if annoyingness had a rating system, you’d be a top-class tiger. I’d happily give you a stamp on the belly that said, ‘You’re damn annoying!’ But I took 13 damage from Rangii’s ‘Tail-wagging, Butt-shaking, Adorable Puppy Eyes Attack.’ Tch. There’s no helping it.
“Fine.”
I waved the fan at Rangii. I moved my hand slowly, but even this was enough to make Rangii happy.
“It feels so goooood~.”
Geez. She was practically moaning. After seeing Rangii enjoying herself so much, I felt that this wasn’t so bad. Though that feeling only lasted for a moment. Realizing that I would have left the master bedroom for no reason if this continued, I began to turn the fan back towards me. But then Rangii bolted up and lifted up her clothes to reveal her belly. And my eyes naturally moved upwards to focus on a certain spot. I immediately lowered my head and spoke to Rangii.
“What’re you doing?!”
“Fan me inside here, too.”
But do you really have to lift up your shirt? Actually, then just go take a bath if you’re so hot!
“Do it yourself, you brat!”
“I need to hold up my clothes. So, Sunghoon, do it for me.”
That made sense until you realized that she shouldn’t be doing that at all. Just take a look. A good look at Narae…? Huh? Where’d she go?
“Rangii.”
She was right next to me. Heek?! When did you get there?
“What is it?” Rangii asked.
Rangii made a question mark with her hair. Narae lowered Rangii’s clothes.
“A girl shouldn’t do that.”
Rangii disagreed with Narae’s reasonable statement.
“It’s okay! I would only do this with Sunghoon!”
“…You can’t do that with Sunghoon either.”
Did Narae lower her voice when she said that? Rangii questioned Narae’s assertion.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m going to ask Sunghoon to fan me, too.”
Hey, now look here, Miss Narae! Didn’t you say something ridiculous just now?!
“Huh? B-but I want to play with Sunghoon, too!”
What about this is playing? I’m basically experiencing the life of a laborer.
“You’ve spent a long time with Sunghoon, right?”
Rangii clenched her fists, shaking them, and denied it.
“You’re wrong! I was gone for the past few days!”
“But the last time I was with Sunghoon was back in Seoul.”
“Ugh!”
Rangii took a step back and covered her face with her hands. I could practically hear the words ‘Gottya!’ floating in the air.
Sorry about the abrupt ending. I swear I’ll do better!