In the morning, after I woke up Rangii, I rubbed my eyes and saw Rangii put her hands to her belly as she laughed.
“Kyahahaha! Why does your face look like that?!”
I stared blankly at Rangii who was laughing her head off, and feeling something was off, I looked in a mirror. Looking back at me was a man with a face that would have elicited a laugh. If that weren’t me, I would’ve been on the verge of laughing as well. The problem was that the person in question was me, and I wasn’t laughing.
The area around my eyes were painted black like a panda’s, and there were cat whiskers drawn on both sides of my nose. There was a scar drawn starting from my forehead all the way down to my left cheek, and on my forehead was the word, “Lolicon.”
…On the off chance, I tried wiping it off with spit. It wasn’t going away. It must be permanent ink.
There was no need to even consider Rangii, who was laughing behind me, a suspect. Because a certain brat was obviously the one who did this.
Chii, you brat. Where are you? Don’t think for even a second that I’ll just let this go.
Saehee walked into the room with a washbasin for Rangii to wash her face when she ran into me.
“Good mo…pfft?!”
Saehee bent forward at the waist, bursting into laughter the moment she saw me.
“Is it really that funny?”
“W-Would it be okay for me to take a picture?”
“No.”
I stopped Saehee as she put down the washbasin and was about to take out a camera from somewhere.
“More importantly, where’s Chii?”
“Have you found me, big brother?”
Chii came down from the rafters, as if I never had to look for her in the first place. She kept a straight face despite looking at mine. Yeah. That’s because you got a good look at it when you were drawing on me, right?
“Why is your face like that? Did something happen?”
“Something’s about to.”
“Awoo, I’m so scared.”
Chii grasped her shoulders with her hands and shivered. She was clearly provoking me.
“It’s just a kid’s prank. Isn’t there no need to get so upset?”
“You did this with a permanent ink, you brat! If you did this with a regular pen, I’d have just laughed it off and hit you on the head once, but this is over the line!”
After I said that, Chii flapped her hair once.
“Huh, I didn’t know that.”
At least she was reflecting on her actions.
“I thought I used a permanent marker, but it seems I used a pen. I thought that it was writing too thin.”
It seems I underestimated Chii. I pointed at Saehee and spoke.
“Pen. Give me a ballpoint pen.”
“Here it is, Young Master.”
I took the MANAMI ballpoint pen from Saehee and clicked down on the end of it. With the audible click of the pen and the point now retracted, I walked toward Kkachi.
“Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth. Drawing for a drawing. And I’ll make sure it hurts a lot.”
“Awooo. Do you really think you’ll be able to catch me?”
Chii turned around and ran away. But those were the strides of a child. You’re a hundred years too young to be able to run away from me!
But it was when Kkachi entered the courtyard and hopped onto the roof that I remembered that she was a phantom.
“Th-That’s cheating!”
Reduced to a dog staring at the chicken that had flown onto a rooftop, I looked up at her. Chii stuck her tongue out at me and provoked me even more.
“If you think it’s unfair, then just come up here.”
“Do you really think a normal human can do that?!”
If I asked them to, Baduk, who was sleeping in the shade under the porch, or Rangii, who was wiping tears from her eyes and walking out of my room, could easily catch her, but what Chii did wasn’t bad enough for me to break the promise we made before. Though what she did was pretty bad, at least to me. So I decided to let her go after she ran away when I got a ladder and climbed up towards her. I had no way of catching her by myself. Tch. I should act like I gave up and wait. Because I just have to grab her when she’s not paying attention. For the time being, I should wash my splendidly changed face.
“Ah, whatever! I’m going inside, so do whatever you want…”
And right then, there was a gust of wind. That wasn’t a weird thing to happen deep in the mountains. Nor was it weird for a skirt to begin fluttering from that wind. So, it wasn’t weird when because her short skirt billowed up, revealing Chii’s striped panties.
“Kyawooo?!”
So I shouldn’t think that it was weird when Chii kicked me explosively in the face. That way, I won’t feel upset.
Tp.
I heard a sound come from Chii’s ankle bracelet as I fell backwards.
Though my morning was full of misfortune, Saehee thankfully gave me a pleasant smelling yet sticky unknown liquid that made the drawings on my face go away like magic.
“What is this?”
“It is the unidentified “Mysterious Liquid X.”
I decided not to ask about that. What does it matter to me what this is? It’s better to use this than spend the next few days with those drawings on my face. Otherwise, I’d shut myself in my room out of shame or end up with a straw hat covering my face.
I washed my face with water to wash off the Mysterious Liquid X, and entered the dining room to eat breakfast. I quickly noticed Chii kneeling in the corner with her hands up, clearly being punished, as Rangii sat right in front of her, staring at Chii intensely. Huh? But I never asked Rangii to punish her?
“What’s going on?”
Rangii got up in a flash, ran to me, and clung to my leg. It’s hot.
“I gave her a punishment.”
“Is that so?”
I sat down next to Rangii. As if waiting for me to do that, Rangii got up onto my lap and rubbed her face against my neck as she spoke.
“Since long ago, it is the wife’s duty to scold unruly concubines. Don’t you think I deserve praise?”
“But why’re you clinging to me like this?”
Rangii’s cheeks turned bright red.
“…The truth is, I was hoping you’d compliment me.”
Yeah, yeah. Good job. I wrapped one arm around Rangii’s waist and patted her on the back with my other hand. Rangii began making a strange purring sound. I’m starting to doubt what you are. Are you a tiger or a cat?
“Hey, Chii.”
“I am being punished. Please do not talk to me.”
Ah geez, her attitude’s such a pain.
“Don’t your arms hurt?”
“How could they not? Why are you asking about something so obvious, big brother?”
“To make you angrier.”
Chii glared at me as she spoke.
“How rude. I cannot imagine what the Tiger-nim likes about a human like big brother.”
“Sunghoon is a wonderful man!”
Rangii, who until now was leaning on me as if about to doze off, suddenly looked up with a serious face and defended me.
“In what way? Please elaborate, Tiger-nim.”
“Sunghoon is kind!”
“And?”
“Sunghoon is understanding!”
“And?”
“…Unyaa.”
Hey! C’mon! C’mon, you brat!! Are those my only good points?
Rangii suddenly clapped her hands together as if she had a good thought and shouted.
“Ah! It feels nice when he hugs me to his chest!”
Chii’s eyes changed as if they were now looking at a sex offender. I’m saying this in advance, but it’s a misunderstanding.
“So big brother really is a human just like the rumors say.”
“…That’s not what Rangii meant.”
“What’s wrong? It really does feel really good I’m up against Sunghoon’s chest.”
As if wanting to show an example, Rangii firmly took my hands and wrapped them around her belly. After seeing that, Chii’s gaze became even colder. Rangii puffed out her cheeks as if unsatisfied.
“Ehh, you don’t believe me?”
I believe that that is not the issue.
“This is enough for me to believe that big brother is both a pervert and a lolicon.”
And you’re supposed to be believing something else as well.
“Then feel it for yourself!”
Huh? Rangii lept from off my chest and lifted Chii up by the waist as she was in the middle of her punishment.
“Kyawooo?! Wha-What are you doing?! Please put me down!”
Could Chii be traumatized from the time Rangii grabbed her and threw her somewhere far away? Chii’s face was white as a sheet. Rangii acted as if nothing was wrong, walked towards me, and placed Chii on my lap as I at motionlessly. A weight that was not that different from Rangii’s pressed down on my lap.
“…What’re you doing?”
I asked Rangii as Chii was still trying to get over the shock of suddenly being held by Rangii. Rangii laughed and spoke.
“I’m teaching Kkachi how nice it feels to be in your embrace. That way, Kkachi will stop causing trouble and lose herself in your embrace.”
“She’s not you. There’s no way that’ll work.”
“Sunghoon. Don’t just stay like that and hug Kkachi as if she’s me. It’ll feel a lot better for her.”
Are you ignoring what I said?
“Like I said, she’s not you.”
“But don’t you feel good too when you hug me?”
“…”
I couldn’t say anything. The truth is, I don’t exactly hate skinship. Because spreading your body heat to another person makes that person happy. But it’s different for Chii. Just look. Because of you, her face is starting to turn bright red.
“T-To think that you would do such despicable things while I was so shaken by the Tiger-nim!”
“But I haven’t done anything?”
Can’t you see that my two hands are firmly on the ground? By my point of view, all that happened was a tiger threw a magpie on my lap while I was sitting still.
“And wouldn’t it be easier for you to get off me rather than for me to move? Why’re you just staying there?”
After my cutting remark, Chii blushed deeply and shouted.
“I’ve been staying on big brother’s smelly body until now to let you know how angry I am!”
M-My smelly body? What kind of nonsense is that brat spouting, when I shower so many times a day. I’m already sensitive about that topic because of Rangii! So you’re asking for a beating?
I did something that I wouldn’t have done if I weren’t so angry. I wrapped my arms tightly around Chii’s waist and put my nose against her shoulder.
“You smell nice.”
And because I did that,
“Kyawoooooo!!”
Chii screamed.
“Did it feel so good that you screamed?”
Rangii looked at us with slightly jealous eyes, her finger against her lips, and completely misunderstood the reason for that scream.
“…Did you hate it that much?”
My feelings were hurt.
“Let me go! Get off! You pervert! Molester!!”
Chii began struggling, desperately trying to break out. I felt a little bad since I did do something mean. Well, I should consider us even for her pranks this morning. I released her waist.
“I would’ve let you go anyway.”
Chii scrambled on all fours, made some distance between us, and put her hands on her chest as she caught her breath, her face red with rage.
“Big brother, don’t you know about Confucius’ Rule of Seven? How can a man act so unscrupulously?! To take advantage of me in my time of weakness! You’re not even human! A maggot! You’re a maggot!!” (tn: An old Confucian virtue stating that boys must not sit next to or play with girls starting from the age of seven. I made up the name because it looks way better than namnyeochilsebudongseok.)
The maggot gave a reply.
“No, I didn’t think you’d hate it so much. Stop.”
“Are you a child, big bother?!”
…I can’t help but feel like I heard the same thing a few days ago.
“Sorry.”
I felt I went too far this time, so I apologized up front. But that did nothing to dissolve her anger, and Chii shook her finger at me as her hair lifted up.
“That is your nature, big brother. That’s why that kind of rumor popped up! You really are a human just as the rumors say!!”
Even I couldn’t keep quiet when she brought up that rumor.
“No, I told you that that’s not it! Hey, you cute tiger, imagine you were hugging Baduk. Wouldn’t you want to hug her tight as well?”
“Am I a tiger or a dog? No, that’s a bad example to begin with!”
Ah, come to think of it, she’s right.
“I’m saying that you’re just that cute, so move on.”
Even if her words and behavior were identical to mine as a kid, I can’t deny that she is, without a doubt, way cuter than I was. But, even though what I said was clearly a compliment, Chii shivered and clutched her two hands to her shoulders.
“H-How rude. I told you; that’s gross. So you truly did see me in that way? Big brother, you really are…”
I quickly cut her off as I already knew what she was going to say.
“Are you an idiot?! I’m just calling something that’s cute cute! Don’t make some kind of weird misunderstanding!”
“Wha-What about me?”
Rangii, who had been listening to the dialogue between Chii and me, clung to my neck. I rubbed Rangii’s head that was now over my shoulder.
“Of course you’re cute.”
Though you’d be even cuter if you had the kind of common sense that fit your age.
“For you to reveal your tastes so boldly, you are truly remarkable, Young Master.”
The heck do you mean, my tastes? Calling Rangii cute isn’t a lie, right? Saehee said that as she entered the room with a table. Good timing. I was so busy with everything that happened after I washed up that I wasn’t able to talk with her.
“Ah, I have something to talk with you about, so can we talk after we’re done eating?”
“As long as you don’t plan on giving me more to do, yes.”
Then I would’ve entered your room at night and…huh? What was I just thinking about?
That aside, Chii’s energy suddenly disappeared as her hair flapped up and down and her legs began to shake. And Saehee smiled at Chii. It was a kind smile that didn’t fit Saehee at all, and Chii, as if remembering a bad memory, went “Awooo” and broke out in a cold sweat.
“There is no need to be so frightened, Kkachi-nim. I am not such a petty woman that I would bare a grudge over an incident that has already been concluded.”
Why don’t you lick your lips before you lie so much?
“Wh-Who’re you saying is frightened?!”
Chii may have shouted that at Saehee, but I could only see Chii as a cornered mouse squeaking loudly. Saehee really must’ve done something terrible to Chii. When I remember Saehee from before, even I get the chills, so it must be even worse for Chii. But why is Chii acting so tough…that’s probably why.
With Chii in such a pitiable state, I spoke to Saehee.
“Let’s eat.”
“My apologies. I have delayed the Young Master’s important work twice now.”
“…Do I have to ask when the first time was?”
“Have I piqued your curiosity?”
“I have a feeling it’ll be something terrible, so never mind.”
Saehee licked her lips.
“That is a good idea.”
Saehee put down the table and Rangii sat in front of it. Rangii was already sitting next to me, and,
“Food?”
Baduk, who was always lazing around, opened the door and walked in, sniffing her nose. In other words, her dog nose. But how can you keep eating and sleeping, eating and sleeping without gaining any weight?
Baduk sat next to Saehee, naturally leaving only the space to my right open for Chii.
“I will eat later.”
Chii said this defiantly, perhaps because of what happened earlier. But Saehee wasn’t about to allow her to do that.
“Please eat when food is served.”
“Awooo…”
I was amazed at Saehee for making Chii sit with just a single sentence. What in the world happened for Chii to listen to her so well? Should I ask Saehee about it later?
…Never mind. After all, there’s the old saying that gentlemen keep far from dangerous places.