19, Episode 3 This is Life (1)
After they reached home, Xia Zhi took a bath, ate a meal, and even answered a phone call from his boss. When he wasn't busy anymore, he heard the sound of Ye Qia changing clothes and he went over for a look, asking, "Why are you going out?"
"Going to discuss Queen's situation with Taotie[1] and the rest."
This is also normal, but when Ye Qia walked out the door, at this crucial 0.01 seconds, Xia Zhi's brain flashed, and suddenly he became aware of an important matter, pulled out his leg and chased after him outside, one hand grabbing onto the corner of Ye Qia's clothes, saying, "House rent!"
Ye Qia seemed to sigh, Xia Zhi also didn't know if it was an misconception. Don't care how or what, this time he really saw money. But from under the mattress in the bedroom Ye Qia flipped out an envelope; the contents of the envelope was neither less nor more but just right, which made him feel that something was weird.
When the house was empty, like a scavenger he flipped the mattress, table lamp and drawers. Apart from a coin that fell out from the middle of the mattress, there was no other treasure to be found.
It was hard to think that Ye Qia has long since brought the money home and hid it under the mattress, specially waiting for me to ask him? That being the case, was there any need to be so sneaky, be it late or early he still needed to give it out, keeping it for a little while longer, can it grow like a seedling?
Xia Zhi couldn't figure it out and could only throw away his brain; to him, how could this small amount of money be more important than the problem of his life root[2]. He just doesn't understand, since living with Ye Qia, his life root can be counted as having suffered damage. In the past for so many peaceful and healthy years, he didn't contract any sort of illness; even when for seven continuous days he slept with different people and collected condoms, he has even done this sort of perverse thing, and yet nothing happened to him? Why is it that after he got together with Ye Qia, he is often suffering from physical and mental damage, and even specially wounded his life root?
Am I entangled with unluckiness? Ye Qia and myself, are our fates not suitable?
That cannot be; normally Ye Qia's occupation, towards life roots and the like, is like the nourishing fertile soil, like the water source of the desert ah!
Xia Zhi, whose mind was thinking strange thoughts, went off to work. Work was quite boring. Right before his shift ended, Ye Qia sent him a text message saying that he wanted to eat roasted duck, even stressing that he wanted duck breast, not duck feet. He took one glance at it and became extremely unwilling, because when you specially buy duck breast, they usually also throw in the duck brain, but what he likes is the duck butt, which only if you buy duck feet then it will be included.
For this matter, he and Ye Qia sent thirty-five texts back and forth; the result of their arguing was to buy half a duck, this way, both the duck head and duck butt are included. When he was buying the duck, he suddenly remembered the black pot he had to carry this morning as well as his pitiful little brother, he paused and got annoyed, he specifically told the duck seller repeatedly that he wanted the duck butt to be fleshy, and the duck head to be small; in the end, the seller gave him two duck butts and one duck head without the brain.
Once he entered the house, Xia Zhi saw Ye Qia chattering away at his phone for a long time.
Ye Qia has never chatted away with his friends; when he spoke with Taotie and the rest, they would meet up at a teahouse and discuss matters, eating leisurely as they discussed. If he was on his phone for a long period of time, he was usually on the phone with one of his clients.
Xia Zhi raised an ear to listen, as it turned out, whatever Ye Qia said were some, "touch yourself", "spread your legs", "do you feel the heat of your body?", like one of those dirty phone calls, his voice low, magnetic and infectious. He thought about it; if he was the one listening, touching himself HIGH[3] for a bit, there shouldn't be a problem.
But, it would be limited, unable to see the real person.
"Where's the duck brain?"
Facing the bright look in Ye Qia's eyes, Xia Zhi pouted, saying, "How would I know."
Ye Qia stared at him, turned back and spoke with deep feeling into the phone, "Do you feel hot?" After he finished speaking, he turned around again, angrily asked, "Which seller? Actually dared to give you a duck head without duck brain? What else is there to eat?"
Xia Zhi really couldn't bear to look at the "accompaniment phone service" anymore, taking the dishes and placing them on the table, in a bad mood he said, "Want to eat or not?"
Ye Qia huffed and didn't say anymore, while eating the duck head he resumed his phone call. Xia Zhi listened with admiration, it must be difficult for him to keep the duck tongue in and yet actually still be able to articulate clearly, with a low voice saying embarrassing things.
The phone call lasted for half an hour, Xia Zhi tried to guess Queen's standard income, he felt that at the very least he earned a hundred thousand. When thinking like this, the more he felt the appearance of Ye Qia's outstretched neck eating the roasted duck is quite wonderful.
Why bother? Stopping Queen is quite good. But, after stopping Queen, I'm afraid that he won't look up to me anymore?
Thinking like this, Xia Zhi immediately felt relieved, wearing a smile on his face, he asked, "Hungry?"
"Didn't eat much at lunch." He hung up the phone, Ye Qia did not clearly articulate, "Taotie and Magician are both trying to lose weight, quite reluctant to order something."
"You couldn't order for yourself?"
"Equally split, If I order then they will eat, much loss for them."
I have to submit to you, quietly muttering this sentence, Xia Zhi asked again, "Why do they want to lose weight?"
"The acceptance degree is too little, after you remove your clothes you don't have a great body, earn what money?"
Xia Zhi was startled, "Wasn't it that you guys don't promote physical body contact?"
"At the very least we should let them be full on eye candy, right?" Ye Qia focused an eye on him, "Don't give the other party some pleasantness and still want to earn money? Spending a large sum of money inviting a very old discouraged balding middle aged man SM himself, truly such a rich person is crazy? This shape only got willing to substitute your waves, must be handsome, body attractive, less rules, obedience is a must, low price, then even if your technique is low still got people want."
Xia Zhi sighed, "You guys also don't have it easy."
"That's true." Ye Qia buried his head in the chives, like a hungry tiger, "Just take us as an example, our bodies have more or less went under the knife before."
Xia Zhi didn't respond for a while, then said, "Under a scythe?"
Ye Qia pointed at his face, "Plastic surgery."
He suddenly opened his eyes wide, "These, your eyes, have they gone under the knife?"
Ye Qia rolled his eyes, "Eyes are not fake, eyelashes are."
He inquired further, "Wasn't it said that the ones which have been under the knife can be seen? Where else still got cut ah?"
"Those are cheap goods." Ye Qia pulled the soup bowl over, "How about you guess what other part of me has undergone plastic surgery?"
He sized him up and down for a while, even his hairline he split apart for a look, Ye Qia aso didn't care, he just kept on eating, with a "Grandfather[4] is real and is not scared of being inspected" kind of attitude. A man's plastic surgery and a lady's is different, often times got wonderful plastic surgery project, for example, penis enlargement or something. Just as he was preparing to strip Ye Qia's pants for a peep, the one being stripped finally couldn't bear it any longer, pulled away his dry and hairy arm, and with a huff, "Where are you looking at now?"
"See if your dick is real or not……"
The corner of Ye Qia's eyes twitched, he said, "It's fine, I'll tell you, the eyelashes are false."
Xia Zhi waited for a while, nothing left to say, and abashedly asked, "No more?"
"No more."
After he finished saying that, Ye Qia stood up, went into the living room, and turned on the television. Xia Zhi honed in for a while and felt that something was not right. When he sat down and prepared to eat, looking down, out of four dishes, two were empty, out of the roasted duck, only the duck butt and bones were left.
"Damn you, Ye Qia you dinner bucket! [5]"
[END]
Footnotes:
[1] Taotie : The previous translation called him Gourmand, the name refers to a mythical beast in China who is well known for its greed to consume.
[2] Life root, referring to his dick.
[3] HIGH, it was capitalised in the raws.
[4] Chinese people like to refer to themselves as older to assert confidence in themselves xD
[5] Dinner bucket (飯桶), meaning that he ate a lot.