Chapter Twenty-Two
No Right to Ask.
Xuanji laid on the bed, but sleep did not come.
Her mind was preoccupied with the image of his retreating figure, cold and distant; his hands, elegant and slender, supporting her as he carried her.
Her face heated up and she burrowed her head within her pillows.
Was she a lustful woman?
Suddenly, she wondered if the Emperor would visit her rooms in the middle of the night the way he had done previously. Yet this possibility was remote, for she seemed to have angered him today. And to begin with, his coming was not a good thing for she did not know how she should face him.
Did you dare to share a bed with such a man?
An abrupt pressure enveloped her back, startling her for a moment before a low, mournful howl pierced through the air. At once, Xuanji recalled that it was the little snow wolf. Earlier, she had let Diefeng bring him out of the room while she had bathed, but she had actually forgotten about him afterwards…
Wait, how did the little wolf enter her room?
The little wolf howled, before falling to the ground with a thump.
What was going on?
Furrowing her brows, Xuanji extended a hand and reached for the ground, trying to feel for the little wolf to bring it back onto her bed, but her hands seemed to brush against a firm, warm object. She froze - what was this? As her hands continued searching for the little wolf, they were abruptly enveloped within a warm grasp.
‘Have you touched enough?’ The man’s cold voice rang through the air.
Silence.
The Emperor released his hold on her, a faint smile crossing his face. ‘Why aren’t you speaking?’
‘I’m not speaking because… because I’m thinking of how to phrase my words.’
‘Oh, what do you wish to say?’
‘En, which version does Your Majesty wish to hear?’ Xuanji tried to quieten the sound of her swallowing nervously, for she could hear the faint rustle of cloth as the Emperor removed his outer robes. Her face reddened as her heart started thumping… nonsense, if her heart wasn’t beating she’d have long been dead… her heart sped up…
‘How many versions are there? Tell them all to me.’ He seemed vaguely amused.
This man changed his attitude quicker than a person flipped the pages of a book.
‘The first version… is that I welcome Your Majesty.’
'Yes.’ The Emperor appeared pleased.
‘The second,’ Xuanji said slowly, ‘Your Majesty, you enjoy sneaking into the rooms of others in the middle of the night? This is… excitement?’
There was no response.
Exasperation and anxiousness welled in her heart.
After a long moment, he said in a mild voice, ‘What else?’
‘The last version is the truth: I was startled beyond words. So please ignore everything I said earlier,' Xuanji said these words in a rush and quickly pulled the blankets over her, burrowing herself deep inside them.
‘Are the daughters of the Nian family all like you?’
Was he suspecting something? Alarmed, Xuanji did not dare make a sound. The more she said, the greater her chances in making a mistake; if she did not speak a word, she could do no wrong.
She could smell the faint scent of ambergris in the air, and shivered unconsciously.
Suddenly, she heard him ask, ‘Lie on your back or sleep on your stomach?’
He was asking her? It was the same question he had asked the night before… what was he thinking?
She thought for a moment, before forcing the words out, 'Whichever will make you hug me.'
As she said these words, her heartbeat seemed to thud to a stop.
He seemed to be faintly stunned, then a languid laugh sounded.
An arm which did not belong to her surrounded her neck, and she was lifted onto his body.
Once again, Xuanji was pressed tightly against him. She swore that she did not move an inch, yet she could still feel a warm heat spreading through her body…
The Emperor seemed unruffled and unaffected as always. Although his harem was not considered excessive, he still had many beautiful concubines.
Perhaps he was used to this.
Xuanji smiled bitterly. She was… just a fraction, disappointed?
A sound emanating from under the bed brought her back to her senses. The little snow wolf was clawing at the bed frame, whining indignantly. Maybe it was better for her to be distracted.
‘Your Majesty, can you let him sleep on the bed too?’
‘No.’ Decisive and final.
‘He’s already bathed.’
‘En,’ the Emperor paused. ‘Still no.’
‘Take it that I didn’t ask.’
‘I intended to do so.’
‘…’
She smiled, and could not help asking in a low voice, ‘Your Majesty, why are you unhappy?’
Finally, she asked the question she had been wanting to know since he first entered her room. The Emperor was high-strung, as though forcibly suppressing some emotion - Xuanji did not know how she knew, but she did.
The arm which had wound around her shoulders shoved her away. With a thump, Xuanji's head knocked against the edge of the bed frame, the sharp pain causing her to grimace, yet she stifled the instinctive gasp of pain, trying to leave herself a scrap of dignity.
Gingerly, she felt her forehead, her fingertips brushing upon something wet.
Blood?
It never rains but it pours - misfortune came in pairs. In the morning, she had injured her ankle, and now, it was her forehead.
The Emperor did not make a sound, as though this was a normal occurrence.
Yes, he was the Emperor.
She deserved it.
If she were smarter, wiser, she should have stayed silent, yet she still spoke.
‘I don’t have the right to ask this, do I.’
He did not respond. If not for the faint smell of ambergris which lingered, she would have thought that he had already left.
When she was finally convinced that he would not speak, his voice, coldly impassive, sounded.
‘Yes.’
Indeed, she should not have asked - it was better to retain a silver of hope, rather than to shatter it all. If she had acquiesced to his moods, she at least could receive an embrace, even if it were neither genuine nor heartfelt.
Only, this kind of pity, it was better for her to… not want it.
***
When dawn broke the next morning, the Emperor was no longer around.
Xuanji smiled. It would be stranger if he were still around.
She climbed off the bed and found the little wolf curled into a small ball by her bedside. He was sleeping peacefully, his snow-white stomach facing the air and four limbs outstretched as he whined incoherently.
A soft knock sounded from the door.
Xuanji said, ‘Diefeng, you can come in.’
Diefeng held a basin of clear water as she strode in. Smiling brightly, she said, ‘Your Highness, you’re up early.’
‘You’ve come just in time,’ Xuanji said, returning the smile. Suddenly, she remembered and asked, ‘You didn’t stay outside the whole night?’
Diefeng nodded. ‘I heard movements from within the room and guessed that you’ve woken up, so I knocked.’ Abruptly, she said in horror, ‘Your Highness, what happened to your forehead? I’ll help you summon for a physician!’
‘I don’t think it’s necessary?’ Xuanji thought that summoning a physician just for the wound on her forehead was a little overboard, for it did not appear to be very serious. If this was the modern world, she would have dealt with it by using a simple bandage, or not even have bothered with it.
Except, last night, when she had hit the edge of the bed, it did hurt badly.
Yet Diefeng remained anxious, 'The wound looks deep. If it should leave a scar, His Majesty -’
She understood what Diefeng was worried about. The Emperor would detest it.
Xuanji took the bronze mirror handed over by Diefeng, scrutinising her reflection in the mirror. Her jawline was sharp, her face a shade too pale, and her forehead was imprinted with a faint crescent-shaped mark.
She turned back to look at the patterns carved onto the wood of the bed frame. She had knocked her head right onto it. At least, the scar was not too horrifying, even if the gash was a little too deep and ugly to look at.
Suddenly, she wondered, if the Emperor should see this scar, would he feel even a frisson of guilt?
The answer was… probably not.
***
Xuanji did not understand her own feelings towards the Emperor. She thought for a moment, and eventually decided that this was just a temporary crush on a good-looking man who happened to be her only support in this foreign world.
As her thoughts drifted off, Diefeng continued chattering away by her ear side, describing in great detail the relationship between one’s looks and the Emperor's impression of her -
Xuanji laughed, and asked, ‘When did he leave?’
‘Your Highness, who are you referring to?’
‘His Majesty, of course.’
'His Majesty did not come,' Diefeng said puzzledly, then lowered her voice knowingly. ‘But don’t worry, I heard that His Majesty spent these two nights at his own Chuxiu Hall.’
Xuanji stared.
Didn’t he spend both nights with her? So why was the narrative which spread across the palace…
Diefeng said, ‘Your Highness, I’ll help you summon for a physician lady now.’
Xuanji wanted to say no, but upon seeing Diefeng’s enthusiasm, could not bear to, and allowed her to do as she wished.
Diefeng walked a few steps before turning back, as though wanting to say something. Xuanji was about to ask her what she wanted, but Diefeng quickly rushed off.
***
Imperial Academy of Medicine.
In the twelve countries of Yuncang, save for some nomadic tribes, the Academies of Medicine usually comprised of both imperial physicians and physician ladies so as to overcome the social taboo in treating different genders.
Of the physician ladies serving Xi Liang's Imperial Academy of Medicine, their skills were naturally varied. Diefeng knew that the best amongst them was a physician lady named Cui Nishang, hence she asked the two managing servants for Cui Nishang to examine Xuanji.
In the imperial palace, news spread like wildfire. Previously, the rumours of the Emperor's anger with Xuanji in Huayin Palace had already been made known to all. One of the managing servants sneered as he stood up leisurely from behind the administrative counter.
Yet it was Physician Lady Cui who was an upright individual. After the managing servant made a record in the books, she immediately lifted her medical kit to leave for Fengjiu Palace with Diefeng.
‘Physician Lady, please wait.’ At the doorway, Diefeng and Cui Nishang were halted by a saccharine voice.
A crease appeared on Diefeng’s forehead. She looked over to see that another two servants had entered the room.
The older-looking servant with flawless skin said, ‘Physician Lady Cui, my mistress did not have a good night’s rest and awoke with an ache on her neck today. Please follow me to her quarters.’
Hearing these words, Diefeng scoffed, ‘Did you not see that Physician Lady Cui is already on her way to see another?’
That servant observed Diefeng for a long moment, before the younger servant standing by her side whispered something in her ear.
‘Oh, who is this?’ The older servant snorted, then raised her voice to address the manager. ‘I am Lady Jin’s personal attendant. My mistress is feeling unwell. Please allow Physician Lady Cui to make a trip over and examine her.’
The two managers exchanged a look, and one of them said haltingly, 'This… Concubine Nian has already…’
Lady Jin's servant sneered, ‘His Majesty has already issued an edict for my mistress to wait upon him tonight. If my mistress remains unwell, who do you think should bear this responsibility?’
The two managers were visibly shocked.
Lady Jin did not have an official title, but everyone knew that this woman could not be offended. After his visit to the Autumn Mountains, the Emperor had personally brought Lady Jin back with him to the imperial palace. It was rumoured that Lady Jin was originally only a low-born daughter of an unremarkable official, yet the Emperor, adoring her looks, immediately assigned her a palace upon their return, and was preparing to confer her a title.
Moreover, yesterday, the Empress Dowager had hosted a banquet at Huayin Palace, and the Emperor, concerned over her health after their long journey back from the Autumn Mountains, specially gave her permission to miss the event.
The difference in the Emperor's favour towards Concubine Nian and Lady Jin could immediately be discerned.
‘Physician Lady Cui, you can follow Lady Jin’s servant over. The affairs of His Majesty are not to be delayed,' one of the managing servants urged.
‘This…’ Physician Lady Cui looked towards Diefeng awkwardly.
Angered, Diefeng's body shook with fury.
What she wanted to say to Xuanji this morning was actually on this matter concerning Lady Jin. Ever since the Emperor had returned to the capital, everyone within the palace had been comparing the two of them, guessing who was the woman truly favoured by the Emperor.
Later, Xuanji had been disgraced at Huayin Palace, and the balance of scales tipped in favour of Lady Jin, yet Xuanji did not seem to know of this at all…
‘You can’t take advantage of others like that! This should be on a first-come-first-served basis,’ Diefeng said through her gritted teeth.
Lady Jin's two servants did not bother replying. The elder servant slanted a look towards the younger, and the two of them immediately moved forward, sandwiching Physician Lady Cui between them as they pulled her away. Unrelenting, Diefeng tugged on Physician Lady Cui’s sleeves. As the few of them struggled, the elder servant, without a word, raised her hands and swiftly struck Diefeng on the face multiple times.
‘As if I’ll let you take her away. Didn’t you look at your own mistress’s position? There are so many physicians here, you just had to fight with me…’
***
In the courtyard, Xuanji was playing with the little wolf, wondering why Diefeng had not returned after some time when she suddenly saw Diefeng walk into Fengjiu Palace. Both of Diefeng's eyes were red-rimmed and her face was swollen.
Diefeng saw her looking, and quickly bowed her head, saying miserably, ‘Your Highness, I am useless -’
Alarmed, Xuanji lifted Diefeng’s head to see the red swell of her face and the faint imprints of five fingers, immediately understanding that these were the marks left behind by a slap.
‘Who did this?’
‘Your Highness, it’s fine. It’s just, I originally wanted to summon Physician Lady Cui over, but she happened to be out on another examination, so I arranged for another physician lady to come over instead. She’ll be here in a moment -’
Xuanji was equal parts shocked and furious. ‘I asked you, who did this?’
Yet Diefeng was uncharacteristically stubborn, biting her lips, refusing to answer.
Xuanji said coldly, ‘I know exactly where you went. If you refuse to say, then I’ll go over and clarify.’
Afraid that Xuanji would suffer even more injustice at the hands of the two managing servants, Diefeng finally spilled the events which had occurred.
Xuanji understood what the Emperor’s favour meant in the imperial palace. Yet she could not bring herself to ignore Diefeng's humiliation, to let her endure this grievance in silence.
Not because Diefeng was a servant attending to Fengjiu Palace and was therefore an extension of her reputation and dignity, but because Diefeng had suffered all these only for her.
Xuanji thought for a moment, then said to the few servants and eunuch within her quarters, ‘Gather everyone. I’m going over to Lady Jin’s quarters to clarify what happened.’