Chapter 820. Sequence 9
They returned with the party supplies in the back seat. Sora did not speak a word while they returned. Her chatty self had completely disappeared, and she just looked outside the window like a hospital patient waiting for her diagnosis. Whenever he talked to her, she said that she’d surprise Ando with a bright smile on her face, but unlike her excited voice, her hands were neatly piled on top of her lap.
“How do you think we should decorate?” Sora said as she laid out the party supplies on the floor.
Maru sat down on the sofa and quietly stared at her. She was walking around the living room on tiptoes while carrying glittery ropes in each hand until she eventually turned her head his way.
“Help me out.”
“Don’t you have something to tell me before that?”
“What are you talking about? An apology for using your house without permission?”
“For that, I’ve semi-given up, so I don’t care. In the first place, this is not even my house, and there are many people who use this place as they wish. Above all, a friend wants to use my house, so it’s not like I want to stop you from doing it.”
“I never knew you thought of me as a friend. At most, I thought I’d be an annoying girl.”
“Looks like I should update my opinion to an annoying friend.”
“I don’t care. I don’t mind what opinions other people have of me. I only have one life to live, so I might as well live the way I want.”
“I don’t have to tell you that your eyes and mouth are saying totally separate things now, do I?”
Maru placed Woofie, who had come around to his feet, on top of his lap. Sora was no different from usual when she barged in in the morning, but she acted totally differently on their way back from the party supplies store. Her fatiguing high pride had become faint, and her words became washed out like a tea bag that had been brewed two times. While she sometimes acted impulsively, she was very meticulous when it came to important things from the planning to the result. So it was very unlike her to intrude on the place she wanted to confess in on the morning of that day. If she really had the intention of confessing, she would have taken out a tape measure and measured every little thing before going to the party supplies store and looking for the correct items, not scraping anything she saw.
“You never intended to do something like confessing in the first place, did you?”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because you’re someone who knows how to keep things to a moderate level.”
Maru took out the party supplies and laid them out on the floor one by one. A mirror ball for the ceiling, some balloons, small LED lamps, small pop-its used at birthday parties, as well as letter stickers for the wall. The heart-shaped candles that she picked up courageously as soon as she went inside the store were not included among these numerous supplies. Maru had also yet to hear anyone successfully confessing under a mirror ball with pop-its.
“It’ll be fun if I confess while popping these, won’t it?”
Sora said those words as she grabbed the string on the end of one pop-it.
“I know you don’t even intend to.”
Maru pushed the items to one side. She did have the intentions to party, but probably not to confess. He became curious. This girl detested being roundabout more than anyone, yet she was hiding her feelings like this and feigning ignorance. Sora sat in a daze as she looked at the palm-sized teddy bear that the employee at the counter told her to take for 1,000 won. She didn’t even give Woofie a glance even when she came over.
“There’s a lot of time, do you want some coffee?”
There was no reply. Maru thought that she would drink if he made one for her, so he made two cups for now. He placed the coffee cup in front of Sora, who was kneeling down.
“Seonbae.”
“What?”
“You know? I’ve never encountered a situation where things didn’t go my way in my life. Even if the results were a little lacking, they always reached my expectations. I was born into a pretty well-off family, so I was never financially lacking either, and thanks to inheriting my parents’ smart head, I was satisfied academically as well. Did you know? I actually got a scholarship for my third year of high school and even got a partial scholarship for college. With my grades in middle school, I could go to one of the best academic high schools in the area, but I used my head a little. I got money and even went to a good college thanks to our high school. I even got great results on CSAT and got into the college of my choice, though I’m taking a break right now by going to my father’s workplace because I thought that would be for the better. Even I think that I did pretty well until now without falling over.”
“But suddenly, there’s something that doesn’t go the way you want?”
Sora nodded.
“People around me tell me all the time that I should be more considerate of others and that I should stop acting proud. Being humble is good, yes, I admit that, but I don’t want to live like that. If I am committing a huge crime or bringing huge harm to others, I obviously have to fix my attitude, but I’m not that bad. I want to be straightforward. I want to do what I want to do. I hate having to take hints from others’ moods and delay my work.”
“Considering your personality, I’m sure you won’t be able to stand something like that.”
“I admit that my personality is flawed. If someone disdains me, I sometimes feel so angry that I just recklessly go against them. I have to apologize if I turn out to be wrong, but if the other person ignores me, I would recklessly pick a fight with the first. I know that. That’s why I fought a lot with Bada during middle school, but I’m not that young anymore, so I will not do something as foolish as that.”
“Bada caused a ruckus at home back then.”
Maru was reminded of his sister, who suddenly got angry at him when he arrived at his house. Considering how the girl who made his sister cry became his junior and was now even working together with him, life was pretty unpredictable for sure.
“I may sound cocky, but I was able to do everything that I could. Just look at today. I was invited because my work was picked. I’m a director who only shot a film twice, and one got a prize while for the other one, I got an invitation. Shouldn’t I be proud of myself?”
“You should. Your achievements are very good even when considering that it’s beginner’s luck.”
“Right? But why… why can I not do anything about him? I know it’s strange to say I want to do something about him, but it’s so frustrating. It’s not like I’m choosing between many men or giving him vague hints that might make him misunderstand. It’s been a long time since we knew each other. We should start dating together lightheartedly. Is that something he has to worry about so much and put off for later? Someone might think that I’m trying to assault him.”
Sora looked dazed at first but the tips of her eyes started rising as though she was becoming angry.
“Did I tell him to buy a house or something? Or did I tell him to take responsibility for my whole life? I’m not even asking for his undying love nor am I telling him that I’m the only girl he should be with. I know it’s strange for me to say this, but I do hear that I am best buddies with other male friends, you know? I’m just that down to Earth and tomboyish. I don’t hate expressions like that. There are advantages when it comes to work, and I feel less awkward around others. But hey, I do wear skirts, you know? I am someone who goes crazy whenever I’m on my period, you know? I’m a girl whose heart would flutter if I hear something touching, you know?”
“I get it, so calm down a little. You’re going to spill the coffee.”
Sora picked up the cup in front of her before gulping down the coffee. It had to be still hot, but it seemed that she couldn’t feel the heat of the coffee because of the boiling anger inside her.
“I’m a proud girl.”
“I know. I know quite well.”
“But in front of him, I put away all my pride and anything else, just so that I could hear him say that he likes me, just so that he could grab my hand. But like this, he keeps putting distance instead. When I get frustrated and try to grab his hand, he gets startled and runs away. Hear this: the two of us watched a movie together, had a meal together, and then walked in the park; we talked about various things and, I tried to grab his hand naturally after seeing the sunset, but he suddenly turned serious and told me ‘I’m not exactly in the right position right now’. How does that even make sense!”
Sora opened the refrigerator and took out some water as though she was fuming inside. I’m gonna drink some – she said before opening the lid and jerking her head backwards. She shoved water down her throat and it made Maru worry that she might cough. After thumping down the water bottle on the table, she stomped towards Maru.
“Seonbae.”
“Yeah?”
“Am I that uncharming? Do I not look like a girl?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that’s true.”
“Right? I’m not exactly ugly, am I? Honestly speaking, I met a few guys who asked for my number on the streets, you know? I didn’t even give them a second glance. Really, I didn’t even give a handsome guy a single digit of my phone number.”
Sora pouted before putting on a crying expression. She looked frustrated like a child who had been told that she was smart since young but then encountered a problem she could not solve; someone who felt like she would make the people around her disappointed if she said she couldn’t solve it and above all, could not accept the situation herself. Maru looked around before grabbing Woofie, who he made eye contact with. Woofie seemed to have felt her impending fate and started struggling, but it was to no avail. Maru gave Woofie to Sora, who looked dejected. He couldn’t exactly hug her himself, so he needed a replacement. She hugged Woofie and started crying even as she panted in frustration. She seemed to be unable to accept herself crying.
“I’m not crying.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Don’t tell anyone about it.”
“Like I said, I didn’t say anything.”
Maru turned around to look at the party supplies.
“You bought them for the afterparty, didn’t you?”
“Do you think I actually wanted to confess then? If I did, he might not look at me in the face anymore.”
“So, how am I supposed to interpret you telling me everything?”
“What else can it be? I want your help. You already noticed it back at the store, didn’t you?”
“I did notice it back then.”
“But you didn’t say a single word about it on our way back. You’re such a bad guy.”
“I was just wondering why a girl like you would do something like that to me. If you need love consultation, you can always go to someone else.”
“Why do you think I came to you? I thought about everything already. Jiyoon-unni told me that it was you who bridged the two together when something went on between the two of them and that you probably could provide me with a proper path. You gave me advice last time too.”
“I didn’t know people’s opinion about me was that good.”
“If you know now, then help me out.”
“Why don’t you go with the easiest choice and give up? Half of the world is men, you know?”
“Do you think I would be doing this if I could do that? That’s what I’m most frustrated about as well. I wonder why I like him so much that I’m suffering like this. I find myself the most pathetic. Why did I end up liking him of all people?”
“What about waiting a little more? Since you’ve been waiting so long already.”
“Why don’t you tell me to become a nun instead? Or should I shave my head and become a monk?”
Her eyes were glaring at him. Maru shut up. If he threw out another joke, she might as well start dancing with knives.
“My makeup became a mess.”
“There’s a mirror in the bedroom, so go fix it.”
“I didn’t bring any makeup because I was so hung up with other things.”
“There are some products in there. You can use the new ones, not the ones that are used.”
“Why do you have something like that in your house? Don’t tell me, does Gaeul unni actually live here? Did you two actually start living together after you started dating again?”
Sora widened her eyes. He didn’t want to explain, so he just told her to go. She staggered her way into the bedroom.
“There’s more time until 3 o’clock, so should I decorate?”
“Do what you want.”
Maru shrugged and picked up a decorative rope.