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I, Kisshouin Reika, have been appointed by His Majesty the Emperor, the role of ‘spy’, or in other words, gopher.



After that, the Emperor drove everybody else out from the salon, leaving me, Emperor and Enjou, at which point the strategy meeting began.

“First of all, what did you hear from Aira?”

Uuu, his glare is so scary… I wanna run away.

“L-, Like I said, that Yurie-sama wishes to rake you over the coals…”

“Why did you hear something like that from Aira?”

“When we met by chance at the English tutoring school, Aira-sama a-, asked about you, K-, Kaburagi-sa, ma, and I replied that you did not seem well, at which point she informed me of Yurie-sama’s feelings.”

Scary, so scary. Please don’t glare at me~ Also I ended up using his name for the first time to his face. Because I was so nervous, I bit my tongue. Please, somebody just save me already~

“The hell do you think you’re doing, casually spreading rumours about others?”

Quite right, Your Majesty. Anybody would be unhappy if people talked about them behind their back. I… might be done for, even before I meet the protagonist…

“Now, now. Don’t intidimate her so much. You’re scaring her.”

‘Right?’, asked Enjou with a smile. Can I trust that smile?

“Shaddup, Shuusuke.”

“To begin with, right now pretty much the whole school is talking about you, right? Right, Kisshouin-san?”

Please don’t look to me. Because even if I agreed with you, there’s no way I’d be able to say it. Even if it’s the truth.

“Shuusuke, you bastard…”

“Masaya, you want information on Yurie too, right? Then instead of threatening her, request it of her properly. Well, if it’s Aira, then I could ask for you though.”

Yes, yes please, please do. And even a second earlier, please liberate me from this place.

“No. Aira definitely wouldn’t tell you. I’ll use this woman instead.”

“Aah, that might be right. Then, Kisshouin-san, can we ask this of you? Specifically, we want to know how angry Yurie-sama is, for example, or when she plans on forgiving him perhaps. Masaya, is there anything else?”

“…Whether or not Yurie even plans on forgiving me.”

“Hm~mm, well Yurie herself said that she just wanted to rake you over the coals, so I don’t think she’s cutting you off. If you convey to her that you’ve really been reflecting, she might forgive you.”

“I SEE!”

He suddenly got livelier. This guy… isn’t he surprisingly simple? GYAH-, I’m sorry for being cheeky! I’m sorry! Don’t glare at mee~ I’m starting to think Emperor really can read minds.

“Alright! You there. When’s your next English class?”

“I have one the day after tomorrow.”

“The heck. Isn’t that still ages? Better that you go there right now and ask Aira for me.”

Don’t ask for the impossible.

“If Yurie founds out that you’ve been overbearing again, she’ll get even angrier, you know? In this case, you should quietly wait out these two days.”

“!! I see. It’d be bad if she got any angier.”

As soon as Yurie-sama’s name appears, Emperor listens obediently. He really is simple.

“And that’s how it is. We’ll be relying on you, Kisshouin-san.


It doesn’t matter what I have to say? Is that how it is?

“You there! What was your name again?”


#8220;It is Kisshouin Reika…”

You’re asking after all this time? Not that I mind.

“Alright! Kisshouin! Become a splendid spy, and fulfil your duties!”


What ‘spy’. I’m just a gopher, aren’t I.

Completely energised again, perhaps he was hungry now, because Emperor went to get sweets.

“He’s not a ridiculously arrogant person or anything.” Who was it that said this? It was me. You really have no eye for people, me~ If this isn’t ‘ridiculously arrogant’, then just what on earth is? Why is it that even though we’ve pretty much never spoken before, and even though he doesn’t even know my name, he uses me this much like it’s natural? Should I just tell Aira-sama, and have her snitch to Yurie-sama? ‘He’s been threatening a helpless girl into being his gopher,’ she could say. …Nonono, don’t do anything desperate now. If you do that, you’ll be killed, one hundred percent. Yes. Absolutely.

“Try your best, okay? Kisshouin-san. If you succeed, your adored Masaya will be grateful.”

“I don’t particularly adore him or anything…”

Because of the ridiculous treatment, I accidentally muttered a bit as my real self. Any adoration I had for Emperor was cleanly left behind in my old life. Yeah, I adored a 2d character and I was a bit of an embarrassing girl. Problem? Right now ‘Emperor’ is synonymous with ‘destruction’ for me, so I haven’t an atom of adoration for him.

“Oh? Really? I mean, I notice you looking at him a lot. That’s why I thought that you liked him too. I mean, look, all your friends loiter around us too.”

What a way of putting things. And what’s more, he noticed my secret observation.

“The two of you are quite conspicuous, and so I could not help but look your way. If I have troubled you by doing so, I apologise. I shall pay more attention henceforth.”

For now, what I need to do first is pull myself together. Now that I’m not under Emperor’s glare, the lion big cat in my heart has returned. As if I would lose to Enjou on his own.

“Well then, if this is all that you have to say, I shall take my leave. Gokigen’yoh.”

I want to leave this demon’s lair as quickly as possible. I want to sprint full speed out of this place with my tail between my legs.

“Yeah, goodbye. Take care, okay?”

Enjou gave me a gentle wave.

As I was leaving, Emperor spotted me as he nibbled on a biscuit and said,

“YEAH! Gopher, make sure to do your job!”

So he even called me a gopher in the end… Wasn’t I supposed to be a spy! Jeez.



The mouth is the mother of all calamities. Honestly, I think I’m about to cry. About all sorts of things. It’s said that in all times and places, spies that failed their mission were disposed of by their organisations. Will tomorrow bring me success or failure?





TL note: Again, gokigen’yoh is a veeeeery traditional, feminine greeting. So dated and ojousama-esque that the average Japanese person will never hear it said in real life. Well, I say ‘average’ because it really depends on the circles you run in…

Think, ‘I bid you bonjour’ and ‘I bid you adieu’ for all greetings, except, you know, not French.

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