Pretty soon, Mr. Scary made the shush sign. Then he smiled at us in our costumes.
"Okay, people. It's showtime showtime!" he whispered very excited.
He did a happy thumbs-up.
We did a happy thumbs-up back.
Then, very slow ...
Mr. Scary opened the curtains ...
And our Columbus play began!
Lucille and Jose walked to the middle of the stage.
"Hello, sailor. My name is richie Queen Isabella," said Lucille.
Jose did a bow.
"Hola, Queen Isabella. My name is Cristobal Colon. I would like to look for a new trade route to China. Can I please have some money to sail the ocean blue?"
Lucille reached into her purse.
"Okay. Here's some money," she said. "But please bring back the change."
After that, Jose bowed to Lucille again. And Lucille curtsied to Jose. And they walked off the stage.
The sailors hurried to their places.
My heart pounded and pounded inside me. On account of after the sailors came ... the ships! the ships!
Mr. Scary lined us up to go onstage.
"Good luck, you three!" he whispered.
THEN WOWIE WOW WOW!.
IT WAS TIME!.
I swallowed very hard.
Then me and May and Sheldon sailed right onto the stage. And we started to say our lines.
"I am the Pinta Pinta. And I am the fastest fastest ship," I said. ship," I said.
"I am the Santa Maria Santa Maria. And I'm the biggest biggest ship," said May. ship," said May.
Then Sheldon started to say his line, too. Only too bad for him. 'Cause just then, Roger did another loud sneeze. And you could hear it everywhere.
Sheldon scrunched his face very disgusted and looked back at him.
"I am the Nina Nina. And Roger should wash his hands," he said.
Me and May looked surprised at that line. But Mr. Scary whispered to keep on going. keep on going.
Jose walked out and said his next words.
"Ah! Three fine ships! Just what I need to sail the ocean blue. Tomorrow we will begin our journey."
After that, Shirley walked out with a big sign. It said: OKAY ... NOW IT'S TOMORROW.
The audience did a chuckle. Only I don't know why.
Then Camille and Chenille stretched their ocean waves across the floor.
And hurray, hurray!
All of us ships began to sail to Roger!
There was a curvy line on the floor of the stage for us to follow.
We were supposed to sail side by side very perfect.
Only just as I thought!
Pretty soon, May tried to squeeze in front of me!
And that was just plain wrong. On account of the Santa Maria Santa Maria was was not not the fastest ship. And you the fastest ship. And you can't change history can't change history!
That is how come I had to speed up a teensy bit.
Only too bad for me.
Because when I speeded up, I accidentally nudged May's ship in her side.
And then BAM! BAM!
She nudged me back ... hard. hard. On purpose, I mean! On purpose, I mean!
And CRASH! CRASH!
The Pinta Pinta fell right off my shoulders! And I tripped over my ship! And I fell right smack on the floor! fell right off my shoulders! And I tripped over my ship! And I fell right smack on the floor!
Then OH NO! OH NO!
May tripped over my feet! And she fell down right on top of me!
And so Sheldon almost fell, too!
Only he quick did a swervy! And he crashed into Land instead!
And then KABOOM! KABOOM!
Both of them them fell on the floor across from us! fell on the floor across from us!
And that's that's when the worstest thing of all happened! when the worstest thing of all happened!
Because, all of a sudden, AH-AH-AH-CHOOOOO! AH-AH-AH-CHOOOOO!
Roger sneezed in Sheldon's face!
And it went right directly up his nostrils right directly up his nostrils!
"AAUUGGHH!" yelled Sheldon.
Then he quick tried to get up. But he just kept falling down again.
And so Mr. Scary rushed onto the stage. And he stood Sheldon up on his feet.
Only more bad news!
Because Sheldon pulled away from him.
And then VAROOM! VAROOM!
Fast as a race car, he sailed straight back to Spain!
And down the steps!
And off the stage!
And right out the auditorium door!
I did a gasp at that sight.
Then I sat there sickish and frozen. And May sat sickish and frozen, too.
'Cause now Columbus would never never get to America. get to America.
And it was all our fault!
It was the terriblest moment of my life.
I looked at the side of the stage.
All of the children had shock in their faces. Plus Mr. Scary had shock in his face, too.
He quick hurried over to close the stage curtain.
Only that's when a miracle happened!
'Cause just at that exact same minute, Jose hollered, "WAIT!"
Then, zippedy fast ...
He jumped right into the ocean ...
AND CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS SWAM TO AMERICA!.
He did! He did! He really really did! did!
He swam like the wind, I tell you!
And he landed right on Roger!
And all of the audience clapped and clapped!
Because Columbus got to America after all!
And that is not all the happy news, either!
'Cause the play was last night. And so today Mr. Scary brought a delicious cake to school! And we are going to have a YAY, JOSe! YAY, JOSe! party! party!
Only there is still one teensy problem. On account of some of the children aren't actually speaking to me and May because of what happened in the play.
And so lucky for me that my bestest friend named Herbert got back from the virus today. 'Cause he already helped me write a 'pology to Room One.
I am going to read it after we have cake. On account of children are in better moods if they have sugar in them.
Here are the words I wrote to say:
[image]BARBARA PARK is one of today's funniest authors. Her Junie B. Jones books are consistently on the New York Times New York Times and and USA Today USA Today bestseller lists. Her middle-grade novels, which include bestseller lists. Her middle-grade novels, which include Skinny-bones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here Skinny-bones, The Kid in the Red Jacket, Mick Harte Was Here, and The Graduation of Jake Moon The Graduation of Jake Moon, have won over forty children's book awards. Barbara holds a B.S. in education. She has two grown sons, one small grandson, and a medium-sized dog. She lives with her husband, Richard, in Arizona.DENISE BRUNKUS'S entertaining illustrations have appeared in over fifty books. She lives in Massachusetts with her husband and daughter.