Junie B. Jones is Captain Field Day.
Barbara Park.
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.
This morning, I woke up very excited! 'Cause today we were having kindergarten Field Day at my school, that's why!
I couldn't stop shouting that happy news!
"Field Day! Today is Field Day!" I shouted to my dog named Tickle.
Then I quick ran to my baby brother's room. He was sleeping in his crib.
"Field Day! Today is Field Day!" I shouted to baby Ollie.
He woke up very fast. Then he started screaming his whole entire head off.
Mother came running right in there.
"Junie B. Jones! For goodness' sake! What has gotten into you this morning?"
I looked at that woman real curious.
"Field Day," I said. "Field Day has gotten into me, Mother. How could you even forget this important occasion? I have been talking about it all week, remember? Field Day is when Room Nine goes against Room Eight. And we have different races and stuff." I said. "Field Day has gotten into me, Mother. How could you even forget this important occasion? I have been talking about it all week, remember? Field Day is when Room Nine goes against Room Eight. And we have different races and stuff."
Ollie kept on screaming.
"Could you quiet him down, please?" I asked Mother. "He is taking the edge off of my good mood."
She picked him up and patted him.
"Thank goodness Field Day is finally here," she said. "Maybe now we'll be able to talk about something else for a change."
I danced all around that woman.
"We will will Mother! We Mother! We will will be able to talk about something else! After Field Day is over, we'll be able to talk about how Room Nine creamed Room Eight! Ha!" be able to talk about something else! After Field Day is over, we'll be able to talk about how Room Nine creamed Room Eight! Ha!"
I jumped up and down. "You're coming to watch me, right? And Daddy's coming, too! Right? 'Cause Room Nine is going to win all the races, probably. So we will need lots of clapping and cheering."
Mother ruffled my hair. "Don't worry. We'll be there," she said. "I think Grampa and Grandma Miller might come, too."
"Hurray!" I said. "Hurray for the whole darned family!"
After that, I ran out of the room. And I called my bestest friend named Grace on the phone.
And wait till you hear this! I didn't even have to look up her number in the phone book! 'Cause I finally got it memorized right in my head!
Its name is 555-5555. 555-5555. And that was a hard number to remember, I tell you. 'Cause I kept forgetting the five. And that was a hard number to remember, I tell you. 'Cause I kept forgetting the five.
I pressed the numbers very careful.
"Hello?" said a voice.
I did a frown.
"Grace? What's wrong with your voice? How come you don't sound like yourself today? Do you have a froggie in your throat?"
All of a sudden, I did a gasp.
"Oh no, Grace! You didn't catch a cold, cold, did you? You can't be sick today, Grace! Today is Field Day! And you are the fastest runner in kindergarten! Go tell your daddy that you have to come to school, Grace. Go tell him right now! Go, go, go!" did you? You can't be sick today, Grace! Today is Field Day! And you are the fastest runner in kindergarten! Go tell your daddy that you have to come to school, Grace. Go tell him right now! Go, go, go!"
Just then, the voice talked again.
"This is is Grace's daddy," it said. Grace's daddy," it said.
I looked at the phone.
"Oh," I said. "Hello, Mr. Grace. No wonder you don't sound right. 'Cause you are not even Grace, that's why. And so where is she, anyway?"
Pretty soon, that Grace said hello.
"Grace! Grace! It's me. It's Junie B. Jones! I am so glad to hear your voice! You're not sick, are you, Grace? You're still coming to Field Day, right?"
Grace giggled real loud.
"Of course I'm coming to Field Day, silly," she said. "I have have to come to Field Day, remember? I am the fastest runner in kindergarten." to come to Field Day, remember? I am the fastest runner in kindergarten."
I did another frown.
"Okay, here's the thing, Grace. You're not actually supposed to brag about yourself like that. My grampa Miller said that is called 'tooting your own horn.' And it is not even polite."
That Grace did a huffy breath at me.
"I am not not tooting my horn, Junie B. I'm just saying the truth. We have lots of slow runners in our class, you know. Like Lucille won't run fast because she doesn't like getting sweaty. And you're not exactly tooting my horn, Junie B. I'm just saying the truth. We have lots of slow runners in our class, you know. Like Lucille won't run fast because she doesn't like getting sweaty. And you're not exactly speedy speedy yourself, Junie B." yourself, Junie B."
I sucked in my cheeks at that girl.
"Yeah? So?" I said.
"So I'm going to have to give us a big lead," she said. "'Cause I'm the only fast one we have."
I made a grouchy face.
"You just tooted again, Grace," I said.
"Did not," she said.
"Did too," I said.
"Did not."
"Did too."
Just then, my mother called me.
"Okey-doke. I've gotta go now, Grace. See ya, friend," I said.
"See ya, friend," she said.
After that, we both hanged up. And I skipped to my breakfast very happy.
'Cause a nice conversation always starts the day off right!
That day at school, Room Nine was very excited. We kept laughing and jumping and giggling and shouting.
Me and my bestest friends Grace and Lucille runned and skipped all over the room. 'Cause we had to warm up our muscles for Field Day, that's why!
All of a sudden, my teacher hollered our names.
"Lucille! Junie B.! Grace! Please take your seats right now!"
We stopped real fast.
My teacher's name is Mrs. She has another name, too. But I just like Mrs. and that's all.
"Yes, but we need to keep on skipping," I said. "'Cause Grace said we have to warm up our muscles for Field Day. If you don't warm up your muscles, your legs will get clams."
"Clamps," said Lucille.
"Cramps," said Grace. said Grace.
Mrs. smiled a little bit.
"You girls will have plenty of time to warm up outside," she said. "But right now, we have an important job to do. Right now, we're going to pick a captain for our Field Day team."
Just then, everyone got excited all over again.
A boy named Meanie Jim waved his hand in my teacher's face.
"Me! Me! Pick me!" he hollered. "I will make a great captain!"
"No, pick me, Teacher!" shouted another boy named Paulie Allen Puffer. "I will be better than him!"
"No! Pick me! I'm the fastest runner in all of kindergarten!" hollered that Grace.
Mrs. sat down in her chair. She crossed her arms and waited for the yelling to stop.
I hurried to her desk speedy quick.
"Mrs.! Mrs.! Guess what? I did not shout just then!" I said. "Did you hear me? Huh? Did you hear me not shouting? I was the only one in the whole room who didn't shout, I believe."
I pulled on her sleeve.
"Maybe you should reward me for that behavior," I said. "Huh, Mrs.? What do you think? Maybe you should make me me the captain of Field Day. 'Cause that would teach the other children a good lesson, probably." the captain of Field Day. 'Cause that would teach the other children a good lesson, probably."
Mrs. stood up. She walked me back to my table. And she pointed her finger at me.
"Sit," she said.
"Stay," she said.
After that, she went back to her desk. And she held up a little basket.
"Boys and girls, please listen carefully. In this basket, there are eighteen folded slips of paper. Seventeen of the papers are blank. But one of the papers has the word captain captain printed on it. Whoever picks that one will be the captain of our Field Day team." printed on it. Whoever picks that one will be the captain of our Field Day team."
After that, Mrs. carried the basket around the room.
She stopped at every table. And she let all the children pick a paper.
"Keep your papers folded until everyone has chosen," said Mrs. "We'll all open our papers together."
My stomach felt nervous and jumpy inside. 'Cause I didn't want anyone else to pick the captain captain paper, of course. paper, of course.
When Mrs. got to my table, my heart was pumping very much.
She held up the basket for me to pick.
I reached in real careful. Then I digged and digged all around in there.
Mrs. tapped her foot. "Please, Junie B. Just pick one, okay?" she said.
"Yeah, but I don't think my fingers have touched the right paper yet," I said. "I am waiting to get the right vives."
"Vibes," said Mrs. "It's short for said Mrs. "It's short for vibrations vibrations."
"Whatever," I said. Then I digged and digged some more.
"For the love of Pete!" said Mrs. "Just pick pick one." one."
After that, I quick picked a teensy paper from the basket. Then I waited at my seat very patient until all the rest of the children picked, too.
Mrs. smiled. "Okay, everyone. When I count to three, you can open your papers.