She used her death to try to prove to herself that all those comments given by her big brother couldn't have been more true. Those people, those matters, she couldn't even handle it!
And now, she had reincarnated back to her fifteen-year-old self, as a person who died once before. Xia Rou had to go through all the things she had experienced in the past. But today was only the third day of her new life, and the first day she stepped into Cao Family, and also the day where she first made contact with a few of the people in Cao Family! And that just made her realize, everything wasn't the same as she remembered in her past memories.
Not even bringing up the other families and stuff, even with just the Cao Family, she actually had never understood them before.
She smiled bitterly. Translated by The Novelst
Once again, she realized a new recognition in herself.
She rubbed her face, and glanced around the room. At least the room was the same as she remembered. Although the room wasn't as gorgeous as those in the main building, it was clean and tidy.
Because fourth brother was coming back soon, in order to fulfill his request, his study room at the main building was being renovated. Before the renovation could finish, Cheng Wan passed away, and Cao Xiong decided to take Xia Rou in. Hence, they might as well refurbish the room at the other side of the second floor while they were at it to make her a bedroom. In the meantime, she was arranged to stay at the side building during construction.
Now that she thought of it, everything did make sense.
Why did she have such a huge grievance in the past? Why did she feel she was being looked down upon, deliberately ignored by everyone? Just because the others who lived in the side building were aunty, the housekeeper, the driver and the chef?
So she thought that letting her stay in the side building was mainly because they despised her status as the child of the mistress?
Bringing along the rage, she never listened to Lady Fang's advice and always acted contrarily… Such unfavorable actions on her part, but Xia Rou had always put the fault on other people, thinking that they were looking down on her.
Given another chance at life, she re-examined herself and finally realized that all the person who had continuously looked down on her, was herself.
Her inferiority has been torturing her like that, never letting her off.
And her excessive self-esteem was two sides of a coin when combined with her inferiority. Such as opposed to Lady Fang, such as not listening to big brother's advice, stubbornly getting engaged with someone……
Her only thoughts were to be able to raise her head in front of the Cao Family, to show them how well she lived, and how she had a decent life, however…… she always found herself in a fix.
Those days she was putting the blame on others, but now that she thought of it, she shouldn't have any complaints.
If she hadn't insist, and simply had not thrown tantrums, with the personality of her big brother that had always shielded her shortcomings and made arrangements for her, she could definitely have lived a smooth life.
In response to his words, why did she refuse to listen?
Xia Rou also…… couldn't understand herself……
She soaked the towel in cold water and rubbed her eyes.
She raised her head, the reflection from the mirror was a pale white face, sharp chin and light brows. She looked very cold when she wasn't smiling, as though she was trying to keep people a thousand miles away.
This was how she looked at the age of fifteen.
Xia Rou subconsciously touched her face……
Why did she reincarnate? What virtues did she have to get another chance at life?
Dinner was only the two of them, Cao Yang and Xia Rou.
When Xia Rou came down to the dining room, Cao Yang was already there waiting for her.
"At first we thought to gather around for dinner to welcome you, but in the end something came up for everyone." Cao Yang said.
His tone wasn't very sincere. As for them, welcoming her was just giving her face. Even if they didn't welcome her, she could also say nothing.
Xia Rou thought, maybe this is how it works. Translated by The Novelst
She was not a princess, she was just an orphan who lived under someone else's roof and was in debt to their kindness. To the men of Cao Family, any work-related business or social activities were way more important than her. They won't specially rush back just for her since they were busy, and it was natural to be that way, especially to someone like her. But that didn't mean they looked down on her.
She couldn't understand why she would care about these little things in the past. Holding on to her grudges, she didn't come down for breakfast the next morning, using the excuse that she was "not feeling well."
The dining room was very quiet.
Cao Yang grabbed the food, and took a glance at the girl.
Great, this girl is very quiet. If she could be this quiet forever, that would be best.
To give her food, clothes and shelter, and then let her study in a university. The way she looked now, she didn't seem to be troublesome.
At least until now, he was satisfied with Xia Rou's performance.
After dinner, Xia Rou put down her chopsticks and asked: "Do I need to wait for Uncle Cao?"
She had been living the same way as the Cao Family for ten years, and she adopted the habit of straightening her back.
Cao Yang looked at her posture, he felt it was pleasing. He glanced the clock on the wall and replied: "No need, you can take a rest for now."
"Then……" Xia Rou hesitated. She recalled her discourtesies in the past and didn't want to repeat her clumsy actions. Since she had the chance to reset everything, she wanted to do things she hadn't managed to last time.
Cao Yang liked her politeness, even his eyebrows were gentler than before: "It's the same if you see him tomorrow."
The somber eyes of Xia Rou stared at him for a while, then she obediently said okay and added: "Then I'll be going back first."
"Alright." Cao Yang nodded.
His sight followed the back of her slim body until she left the building, he rubbed his chin.
The feeling was really different when there was a girl in the house. Moreover, she was completely different to the women he knew, didn't act coquettish nor did she cling on someone easily. She was also different to the boys in the army, the voice when she spoke was soft and tiny.
It was quite comfortable to listen to her voice.
It was just that pair of somber eyes, he felt that there was something hiding in within those eyes, something that didn't belong to a 15 year old lady.
He found it weird.
Proofread by: Hannah