Published at 21st of November 2020 06:14:23 PM
Chapter 5: 5
Evelyn had a heavenly day for a couple of days .
Since childhood, for the first time, Miriam had taken care of Evelyn herself, and since she was hungry for love, every moment of this life was precious to her .
“Mother, I’m sorry . ”
“Yes . Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
Miriam looked sweetly at her daughter, but soon she placed a warm water bag in Evelyn ‘s bed .
“Well the child would be surprised to hear the King’s nagging . Your father is really worried, and that’s his nature . ”
“But he’s kind . ”
Evelyn was smiling . When she was young, it was hard for her father to say hateful things every time . But after living in a completely desolate place, she knew that the temperature of the human body was warm .
Evelyn was a loved one here, even though her father had a different way of expressing his love .
“Do you understand your parents’ heart now ?”
Miriam said deliberately, teasing Evelyn .
“I’ll be good for now on . ”
The fine lines around Miriam’s eyes were bent finely .
“We didn’t know that you were living so miserable . If you didn’t come back here, I would have lost you forever . It’s a sorrow that no parent wants to experience . So, I ‘m glad you’ve come back well . ”
Evelyn was unable to smile .
“His Majesty will somehow find a way . He’s a man of great consideration and thorough enough to deal with it . And our family can live happily in this little kingdom . It’s a gift from him and a way for this child . ”
“I’m a mother, but I’m still spoiled by my parents . ”
“It’s rewarding to have such a child . You’ll find out someday . ”
Miriam held Evelyn ‘s hand affectionately .
“We would never have sent you to the Imperial Family if we knew that you would be so unhappy . ”
“I know, … . You’re not like that . ”
If her parents had sent Evelyn out of greed, they would not have quickly agreed to her decision to divorce and come back . In fact, Evelyn was able to divorce because King Arthur himself had negotiated directly with the Vatican .
After receiving Evelyn’s request, The King just grumbled without asking any further and headed straight to meet the Pope . He was such a father .
“His Majesty will find a way, so now, just think about having a healthy baby . ”
“Yes . ”
Evelyn began to doze, feeling the warmth of her loving mother . Her belly was quite big . The lawmaker who was secretly summoned said there wasn’t much time left for the childbirth . She might have met her child soon, and Evelyn was thrilled by the facts alone .
****
That day, Evelyn dreamed of going back to the garden .
The way of finding her husband, Fabian, under the white moonlight, was so vivid, even in her dreams . From the sweet fragrance of the Golden Wood tree in the Imperial Secret Garden to the side of the picturesque Fabian shining in the moonlight .
‘Do you think that’s a place for such a people?’
Evelyn, who said she would quit the Empress, had a hard time with her only husband . And Fabian, who was a perfect man in every way, wouldn’t have been able to understand Evelyn’s pain .
Even if he knew what was bothering Evelyn, it would just have been a pathetic grunt to him .
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‘You’re my Empress . ’
When they first met, Fabian only said that word and said nothing for a long time .
Evelyn’s heart throbbed at his magnificent dark eyes, but she could not speak to him easily . Because before her husband, he was an emperor . It was the courtesy of the imperial family .
‘I hope the Empress will fulfill her duty to honor Imperial rights’
Fabian’s low – pitched voice sounded cold . Evelyn then vaguely felt that she couldn’t get any closer to this man .
Fabian always had an invisible line . At the age of 16, he ascended to the throne, which threatened anyone and possessed an inviolable dignity .
‘Ha . . Ha . . ’
Even when Evelyn lost her baby for the first time, he just let it go .
‘I’m sorry . ’
When Evelyn had shed tears, Fabian said nothing but words that would go against the royal etiquette .
‘It can’t be helped . I won’t burden the Empress any more . ’
The second time she lost her child, Fabian didn’t come to Evelyn’s bed . There was no disappointment because there was no expectation . Nonetheless, the Empress, whose hope for her husband had disappeared, soon became an abandoned empress .
If she failed to fulfill her duties as an empress, she would lose her rights as an imperial member . Only then did Evelyn know what “marriage” meant and fully understood what Fabian had said .
‘Your Majesty, it hurts so much . I can’t fill the place where I lost my child . It hurts so much that I want to die . ’
Evelyn begged Fabian in her nightmares every night . He was the Supreme Emperor . He said that no one on this continent was greater than him . And he reigned only as an emperor, even to his only wife .
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So, Evelyn hoped, her wish would be granted . What she wished for was just a little happiness as a woman . But, it was a wish that only he could give .
‘I don’t want to be sick anymore . I’m so scared . I don’t want to live like this . ’
The most frightening thing was a reality that was more horrific than a nightmare .
After she had lost her child twice in vain . Evelyn, who never hated anyone, began to hate the world . Then all her lingering feelings about Fabian disappeared .
It was rather easy if she could regard him as just an emperor . The couple, who had no links, cooled down quickly .
‘Empress’
Fabian always called Evelyn that way . It was a call to the *’coffin’ that Evelyn was wearing . Evelyn gradually forgot her name .
‘I will quit the Empress . ’
Evelyn’s life, which had withered shortly after the age of thirty, returned back to her twenty for some reason . The decision made by her regret was very simple .
She realized that she had to quit the Empress to live as Evelyn because she saw there was no future with Fabian .
‘If you really want it . ’
Fabian didn’t refuse . The parting was too easy . It was stupidly simple when she recalled the pain she had been through . It was such a sad night .
‘But, why?’
But unlike in her past memory, Fabian, in her dream, asked Evelyn a question . He turned to Evelyn . His black eyes were fixed at her . The scent of the Golden Wood tree spread sweetly whenever the wind blew .
‘Why are you trying to leave me?’
She knew that it was a dream . But Fabian’s appearance was so vivid . Evelyn took a step forward . Fabian’s moonlit face was as beautiful as she remembered it .
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‘Am I a man who can only give you a pain?’
Fabian’s low-pitched voice sounded indifferent .
‘Is it a horrible fate to marry me?’
His black eyes were filled with grief . It was a strange figure of a man that she once loved .
‘Evelyn . ’
In her dream, Fabian called her name .
‘No, I am…… . ’
With difficulty, he reached out his hand . Evelyn just stared at it in silence . She couldn’t articulate what he had to say in her dream . She couldn’t think of any kind of answer .
‘I wanted you to ······· . ’
The wind blew hard and clouded what Fabian said . Again, the sweet scent of the golden tree had spread . Her view was gradually darkened . It was time for her to wake up from her dream .
“Ha…… . . ·”
Evelyn was able to lift her heavy eyelids with a cold sweat . A heavy breath was coming out of her lips . She felt a change of body she had never experienced before . Even though it was her first time, her instincts had already known this change .
“Mo…mother ······ . ”
It was a night before the end of summer .
“I think the child is going to be born . ”
****
(T/N : *coffin in here means Evelyn feel like she’s buried inside “empress” body)