Published at 21st of November 2020 06:13:30 PM
“Leave Serus alone . I have issued an order for him to escort the Duchess back to her own residence tomorrow . ”
“Yes . ”
Fabian was accompanied by one of the Black Hawk Knights who had temporarily replaced Serus . He was never left alone in the imperial palace . Even though he seemed alone, he was, in truth, still followed by people who were hidden in the shadows . And Fabian was used to such an environment from an early age . So sometimes, all that was taken for granted .
“Your Majesty, where are you going? This is a different direction from ours . ” It was obvious that this substitute knight knew him less than Serus .
“I’m going to the Empress Palace . Guard the door, and don’t let anyone in . ”
“Yes . ”
Empress Hall was a beautiful building made of white marble . The golden roof shone beautifully every time the sun rose as if blessing the Empress . And the garden was full of nice scents, and clear water gushed out nonstop of the fountain .
“I see you, Your Majesty . ”
The court officials who were maintaining the Empress’s palace bent their knees on the floor at once when he appeared . And no one dared to resist when Fabian ordered them to get everyone out .
“The owner has only been staying here for two years, so this place must be lonely . ”
Fabian’s unkind words to himself rang out the Empress’ hall, where no one was present . It was a new building, designed by Fabian using the finest materials after his marriage to Evelyn had been decided .
But shortly after, the owner left this place . And everything Fabian could do at that time was to keep the appearance of this palace unchanged since that day .
“Everything is still the same ……, but it’s like a completely different space . ”
The only thing that had changed was that one of the owners of this place had disappeared . The rest of them remained untouched, even all the servants were the same, even though their faces were gloomy .
Then, Fabian walked around the corridor and stepped into the Empress’s quarters . It was his first time since the day he found the ring .
“Did you hate this, too?”
There were many precious and beautiful treasures in the Empress’ quarters . On the day Evelyn left, she laid the thickest carpet on the floor and put down all the gifts she had received from Fabian . The last thing was her wedding ring .
“It seemed like you wanted to nullify the fact that you were married . ”
Fabian wasn’t stupid . There was no way Evelyn didn’t know the meaning behind her actions .
“At that time, I didn’t want to accept it . ”
Fabian didn’t want to believe that the sacred oath of marriage had broken in such a vain . After accepting it, he couldn’t easily admit that the short marriage between the two would vanish like ashes .
“Am I wrong?” It was the only word he could spit it out when he was alone .
“At that time, did I have to refuse? asked why, and persuade you?”
But he couldn’t do that, because Fabian saw a strong determination in Evelyn’s eyes that day as if he had seen himself . Her eyes tried to fulfill her dream without thinking about her life . So he didn’t have a choice but to let her go . But then he was sure that, even if Evelyn had left, she would return to him . And maybe she would also regret her departure .
“All the world’s words are wrong . ” Fabian’s voice was so tired . Although he never complained about his work, the fatigue he felt at this time had weakened his body more than any political or demon war .
“Evelyn . ”
His low voice sounded when he said that name . There was no longer a woman who looked back and answered him with a lovely face . Fabian was frustrated and injured himself, even though he knew very well .
Then he lay down on a long chair where Evelyn usually took a nap . There was a time when he took a deep sigh while looking at the veils layered on top of it .
“Eve… . . ”
Fabian reached out his hand into the air . All he wanted was a hand he could never lose . The smell of Evelyn’s body odor and perfume, which had remained faint at first, was now unrecognizable no matter how much he focused on it . And only the gentle scented candle that Evelyn always lit had the same fragrance as before .
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“Is it only two years?”
The Imperial precepts were also strict even in weddings . It took more than a year for him to propose to Evelyn, hold an engagement ceremony, and get Evelyn to take the etiquette and bridal classes . And It took almost a season for the grand wedding ceremony to be held, and when they finally became a married couple, the two of them were very tired .
“You gave up all this in only two years and left, was I really the worst husband?”
Not all the moments were bad, however . Fabian still remembered her blushed face the day he spent his first night with Evelyn . Her sweet voice, long blonde hair that shone and flew in the wind, and her warm body temperature touching his shoulder with her small white hands were still vividly remembered .
“······You’re funny . ” Fabian laughed, “You’ve been happy since you left me, and I’ve been unhappy since you left, and only me who doesn’t know why . ”
Actually, he regretted it . He regretted deeply even though he knew how poisonous the feeling of regret was to the Emperor .
That day, an angry Fabian accepted Evelyn’s divorce declaration, and the next day, he immediately issued a decree for her to leave the imperial family . Just because of his pride as Emperor, instead of holding her back and asking why, he pushed her back with an edict instead .
“No matter how much I think and think about it, the more I think about it, the more I don’t know how miserable and painful it is as if a thread is twisted inside my head . ”
A solitude feeling quickly devoured Fabian . He had just returned after he encountered Evelyn, and it was as if his entire world had changed . Once he fell in love, Fabian couldn’t go back to his old life that felt nothing . And every time night fell upon the sky, countless insomnia and loneliness came to eat him .
‘Your Majesty, I’m back . ’
Sometimes, he used to dream like that .
‘I will never leave your side again . ’
Lovely Evelyn said so, then embraced his neck . Fabian was trapped in his dreams, and he couldn’t say anything, just hugging Evelyn tightly . Never again, he wouldn’t let her go anywhere .
“If I had said that… . . would you have forgiven me and come back?”
Probably not . Evelyn, whom he saw in the Felice Kingdom, looked very happy . Her bright smile, which Fabian had never seen before, was so beautifully shining .
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“What is the reason for that?”
However, he tried, it would always flow to the same place in the end . Fabian was still attached to the reasons that Evelyn didn’t tell him . So, without being able to move forward, he could only paint traces of the past at the Empress’s residence, where time had stopped .
“If I get to know you more, can I know why?”
The Duchess’s advice came to his mind . Not long ago, Evelyn herself made a sarcastic comment that Fabian did not know anything about her . That made him really ashamed because it was true .
But, after he made up his mind to find out about Evelyn, he threw the paper into the fireplace again in a fit of anger .
“Is marriage this difficult?”
Fabian wasn’t afraid of war or politics . Even people’s thoughts couldn’t bother him . But it was Evelyn who had messed up with Fabian now .
“Evelyn Felice . ”
Fabian, lying down in the place where she lay down and took a peaceful nap, looked sad . Even the sight of her, looking at her eyes here, seemed like a lie .
“Shining blond hair, blue eyes, small white hands,…… . a sweet voice like singing, cheeks with a pink blush like those lips . ”
He was trying to remember it one by one .
“The day when you cried secretly because you missed your hometown, I felt sorry for your eyes that were burning hot . ”
She didn’t have to hide her tears .
“I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to sleep well, so I stayed by your side all night watching you… . . I couldn’t wake up because I was sleepy, so I couldn’t see you in the morning . ”
Fabian was fine even though his sleep time was interrupted for about one night . If Evelyn had told him she was scared because of a nightmare, he would have embraced her . That was the bond made by the vow of sacred marriage .
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Fabian knew nothing about Evelyn . But it wasn’t a lie that Evelyn was definitely in his heart .
“Yeah, I may have known nothing about you . But at least you weren’t a cold-blooded person like me . You weren’t a ruthless, love-knowing, and… . . cold enough to leave me . ”
He was deeper in sorrow, and he didn’t know the reasoning for that . Evelyn’s departure was a nightmare he never imagined . Even then, Fabian thought it was a dream . The nightmare was not shaken, though, and it became a reality .
“I know you’re not such a woman . ”
Fabian suddenly recalled the same words clearly, as if something had come to his mind .
“My wife isn’t that kind of woman . ” Slowly but sure, Fabian turned his body .
“There must be some reason, though, for what made her do that . ”
He thought there was no reason . Because she said it herself, it was painful to think twice, so Fabian just stopped thinking .
“There was a reason . ” Fabian jumped up from the chair .
“I have to find out why…” Fabian found the most important piece, even though it was too late .
“Why Evelyn made it so easy to leave me . Somewhere, there’s definitely a reason . ”
Fabian’s dark eyes were filled with strong wills again, “I must know why . ”
The vows of marriage were shared between the two partners . So if there was a reason why Evelyn had left him, Fabian had to know . Only with that, he could escape from this misery . Even if Evelyn didn’t come back, it wouldn’t have been as painful as it was now if he could understand why .
Fabian was completely unaware, but now he just realized what he had to do as a husband . But he still didn’t know that everything was already late . Above all, Fabian still didn’t know the most important thing .
Fabian’s loneliness after her departure was nothing compared to what had been given to Evelyn’s previous life . Her past life, he didn’t know about .
Evelyn already had a prolonged nightmare of life with Fabian, and she managed to return to reality . That’s why Fabian was still so lonely . Just as Evelyn lived before her return .