In the sunny day, I and Xiao Cheng chatted a lot of things.
We chatted about our senior high school life. I told Xiao Cheng, I took exam for T university, and studied really hard. I finally could enter my dream university —— for encountering him.
He told me. When he was in senior high school, he was young. He was in development, he always loved to sleep. Every night he would sleep at eight o'clock and wake up at seven o'clock in the morning. During the lesson, he frequently had some sleep. If he knows earlier that if he enters T university and he would meet me, he definitely would study hard and enter a military school.
I was so angry and glared at him: "What is the bad thing of encountering me?"
He said: "I have a premonition. I am a young talent of this country, this life time my life will be destroyed in your hands."
"I also have a premonition, I will save you from being a lost teenager, in the future I will be your woman!"
"What I already know now, you are already my woman."
"….." Chatting about our senior high school memory, we also talked about our university life. Somethings that had been bothered me, I finally could ask him.
I asked him: "The time you lived in Z apartment, all the day you were trying to flirt with me, is it because you like me?
He said: "Your words is not really accurate, that it is to let our feeling to grow."
I despised him: "Is it to let our feeling grow? You didn't send me any gift, didn't treat me any meal, you also didn't ask me out for movie."
Looking at his expression, I just remembered that he did all of those thing. But Xiao Cheng, don't you feel that you did all too naturally?
I continued to despise him: "Couldn't you give me clearer signal?"
"No. Chasing a girl like you, we shouldn't be too direct. If that day we watched <
I nodded, that is a definite thing.
"I didn't tell you anything. I just want let my presence to become something that you used to then you will slowly have affection toward me…" I looked at him with surprise:
"Hey! I can't see it. You seem to quite understand about girls! You are very experienced!"
He looked at his watch: "It's almost the afternoon. Are you hungry? I will take you to eat the boiled fish, I remember that you really like to eat that."
I immediately bursted: "Love it, let's go to 'Lao Chuan Wei".
He said: "Okay."
What did we chat before?
…….
I thought of another important question: "Have you really said that my IQ has not developed since elementary school?"
He said: “Don’t you have a bad memory?"
"There are not many things I can remember, but as long as I remember them, I will never forget them for a life time, so… don't blame me for not giving you an opportunity to explain!"
Xiao Cheng reluctantly recalled what happened that year.
This what happened that day.
A chat in the male dorm. Everyone was discussing about the different aesthetic appreciation between Southern and Northern people. Xiao Cheng is a northerner, he expressed that he likes a tall woman, it's good that she has a long hair, she could smile bright, cute and sweet.
His roommate, Brother Xiao Ma, immediately said: "Hey? Isn't there a woman in third class, Xin Xin, isn't she quite match with your standard? She looks good and it's kind of girl that is suitable for you to take home and be a wife."
Xiao Cheng was silent for a while: "Her temper is quite good but it's a pity that her IQ seems to not develope since she was in elementary school…. But, a woman is also quite cute when she is a bit stupid."
He just said it, and there was a whistle.
After listening to it, I suddenly realized that the second part of that sentence is the most important part. How could the gossiper only spread the first half of the sentence, and just ignore the most important part?!
My mood turned to be happy, I laughed at him and asked: "Then since when do you start to like me?"
"I also couldn't tell you clearly. My feelings for you are growing over time. I can't tell you which time it suddenly change."
He also told me that at first he thought that I am very interesting. I have a good character and he wants to know more about me. Later, when we had too many chat records, he often thought that it would be more interesting to talk to me about a relationship.
At that time, he was really too young. He didn't want to think too much about it. He just wanted to date. If they date and have change to be together then it's good. But if they can't, he thought that it could be their part of youth memory.
Based on that, he started to step closer to me. When he thought that everything was working very well, I suddenly expressed my set of post-modern love concept to him.
Our completely different views of love made him think carefully. After a few days, he decided that instead of hurting each other, he would rather grow up in regret.
……
I asked again: "Did you like Zhuo Zhuo before that you got close to me? You couldn't pursue her, then you chose to be together with me?"
Xiao Cheng was surprised: "Who did tell you that I like her?"
"It's clear, you think that I couldn't see it?"
"……… Would it be tiring if you could think hard with your brain?"
I took a pillow and pounded at his head. I really hoped that I could break his head. That way I wouldn't be despised because of my IQ.
After several questions, finally he said it clearly: "I and she just a classmate, if I like her, I will pursue her from the start."
Looking at how I was still confused, he asked me: "I was flirting with you, and on the other side I had a crush on her. Do you think that it's logical?"
I didn't know whether it was logical or not, but I could be certain, it was not logical for him.
I still couldn't completely believe it so I started to ask him again: "I heard, that once during our third year, you and your class had a gathering. You and Zhuo Zhuo were sitting outside and chatting happily. You also gave up your clothes for her. If you didn't like her, then why did you treat her well?"
Xiao Cheng was shocked: "How could you know this?"
"Jie Jie told me. She saw you guys."
He sighed long: "When you guys gossiped, couldn't you think of other people's privacy?"
"No, what happened between you and Zhuo Zhuo? Hurry up, be honest with me!"
"I tell you one sentence. I also don't remember what happened that day clearly."
"I don't believe you!"
"Really. That night I was being given a lot of alcohol by our classmates. I was drunk. I wanted to go outside to get some fresh air and sobered up. Who knows that she followed me out and handed me a bottle of water. She asked me: "Are you in a bad mood?" I said: "I'm good."
He slowly recalled that moment: "I remember… we seemed to have some discussing. But I couldn't remember clearly the specific content. I can't remember it, you know me, every time I was drunk, there will be more words."
Recalling our encounter when he was drunk, I nodded.
He said again: "Actually, she is a smart girl, and delicate. She is very thoughtful girl, unlike a girl…"
I looked at him: "Speak the key point."
Xiao Cheng immediately turned back to the topic and continued to be honest. He said, that the next day, he woke up. Xiao Ma asked him whether he is dating Zhuo Zhuo.
He was so confused that he did not understand where this news came from. Xiao Ma told him the situation that night and he only could remember it in fragment. He remembered that he had given her a coat and thought that he sent her back to the dorm.
Originally he didn't care about it, because he thought it was just a normal interaction between students. Until a week later, Zhuo Zhuo called him and said that she would return the coat to him so he would meet her in a place.
When he met her and took the clothes, he was ready to leave. Zhuo Zhuo suddenly asked him: "Would you like to find a place to sit?"
He noticed vaguely the hint of embarrassment in her and took excuse to skip it. Later on, he also didn't take the initiative to take Zhuo Zhuo. Zhuo Zhuo didn't contact him again. Everything turned cold.
I asked: "Don't you say that you don't understand what Zhuo Zhuo meant. That was a rare opportunity, how could you do that?"
He sighed: "It's indeed a good opportunity, but who makes me unable to let go a pig with no heart?"
I smashed my pillow on his head: "Who do you think as pig?"
"I protest against a domestic violence!"
"It's invalid!"
……..
I asked him again: "In time we broke contact, did you ever miss me? Did you long to chat with me? Even for a short greeting: "What are you doing?" He answered: Never, never."
I said: "you really have no heart, I always miss you, I really wanted to ask you what are you doing, are you happy."
He was silent.
Under his silent, I asked again: "You really never think of me? Even for once?"
His fingers played with my hair, then said: "I have registered a new QQ number and sent you a friend request. You accepted it. Your first sentence was: "You and my classmate are at the same place."
I suddenly remembered that I had a QQ number added me everyday. I was repeatedly refused it. However, I touched by his persistence and glanced at his personal information casually and accidentally found his address. Like Xiao Cheng, I accepted. Then we only chatted briefly.
I said: [Someone is looking for me. I am going offline.]
He asked: [Your boyfriend?]
I said: [ My old neighbor friend.]
Since then the QQ disappeared. I looked up and my heart turned sour.
He told me again: In the new year, I used my dad's card to send you a message. You asked who I am. I told you go guess. At last you tried to guess it the whole night, but you couldn't guess who I was. Then the second ay the card was off.
He asked me: "You really didn't know me? We've been chatting for a long time, my use of words, you completely forget about it?"
I smiled: "Perhaps, I know it."
I remembered clearly, that time when I was home, I received a message from an unknown number. It's not a blessing, but a simple sentence: [What are you doing?]
I was a strong feeling, he was the one that I missed.
He let me to guess, since the beginning I couldn't dare to say it "Cheng Ze." Because I was afraid that he would say no, and I would be disappointed, really disappointed. I guessed a random person. Every time he would reply: [No.]. I was happy because the chance it would be Cheng Ze would be greater.
That night, we messaged and chatted the whole night. The next day, I texted him again, it was off.
I was extremely regretful because I missed the opportunity.
We were silent. Then Xiao Cheng said: "Afterwards, there's a day the online game's notification showed that there was a female player with zero level and zero experience was looking for me. I was curious who was it. The one with weakest combat and most beautiful costumes. The female character walked toward me and stood there stupidly. I immediately guessed that it ws you because only you would be foolish to think…. I am also a fool!"
I leant on his shoulder and didn't want to say a word.
Even if he never a romantic word to me, his feeling for me —- is love!
——<
Not all true love needed you to be brave enough to move forward.
A good man, not only wants to have you, but he also wants to give you more….
When a man pursues you, he doesn't necessarily love you much; if he is willing to temporarily stop his pursuit, try to understand you. Try to understand what do you want, he at least is a good man! I believe that man who dare not to promise you a "lifetime" will be more reliable and trustworthy than a man who is full of promises of long-lasting love!