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The Origin of “The Annoying Person”

My atypical best friend, Wei Wei, once asked me: “Why do you call your husband “Annoying person”? What is the connotation of it?”

I firmly shook my head: “There is no connotation, it just clearly how I describe it.”

“What makes him annoying, how can I not see it?”

“It’s because he just bothers me alone.”

“For example?”

“There are so many examples. I could write 500,000 words of long piece, and it wouldn’t be enough. Unfortunately, this book is limiteds so I could only pick a few that do not ruin his image.

Action 1

The life motto of the annoying person: If you can ask someone else to do it, then don’t bother yourself.

I have secretly loved him for two years, loved him passionately for three years, married him for eight years. His life motto always bounded me:

“Wife, iron this dress for me.”

“Wife, I cannot find my phone, help me to look for it.”

“Wife, I’m thirsty. Help me to get a drink, I want the cold one.”

“Wife, this one is hard to grind, help me to grind it.”

“Wife, I am sleepy. Help me to translate this for me.”

………………..

For all of these, I silently endured it. Who let me to be stunned by him in the past!

But one day I was typing and had an outbreak of inspiration that the hero and the heroine will be reunite again. Suddenly, the annoying person yelled: “Wife, hurry up help me. Help me to take the remote control!”

“O, I’m coming!” I ran to the bedroom and noticed he was laying on the bed and the remote was just there on the table near the bedside.

I extended my hand to pinch him: “You could just take it if you just move from your position now, you call me to take it for you, couldn’t you be lazier than this?”

He laughed and pulled my hands: “I’m lazy, but I’m not lazy for taking the remote control. I just want to se you, but I am too lazy to get off the bed and look for you.”

“You ——“

Isn’t this person is annoying?

Action 2

One day, I and annoying person watched a trending blind date program, a handsome guest was getting a complete rejection from other female guest. The bald host sighed, I also felt very emotional about it.

I, who recognize myself as “love expert”, couldn’t help to express my opinion: “I feel those women shouldn’t be that picky toward choosing man. He is quite handsome, has a good economic condition, it’s not really important whether he will have a good future of not. Those are not important, the main thing is —loving you!”

The annoying person glared at me: “Say honestly!”

In a flash I couldn’t respond: “Eh, I say that honestly.”

The annoying person passed a warning glance toward me, I immediately responded and said hurriedly: “I am a careless person, but I always picky toward choosing a husband. I need him to have be handsome, have a high IQ, EQ also need to be high. If not, I will not be attracted toward him.”

The annoying person immediately smiled: “Em, I really love when you said something honestly.”

I: “……….”

This annoying person, always forced me, who is an honest child, to lie.

Action 3

One day, I came out from the laboratory and got inside the elevator. My brain cells were still thinking about the strange result of the experiment. I didn’t pay attention to the people or the situation around me, until an industry elite stood beside me. I glanced at him and accidentally I was amused with his appearance when he was working. My little heart was rippling.

At first I wanted to chat with him, but he was talking with someone. They were discussing about a project and a contract.

I, who was a idle person, just waited for him on the side and continued to be in a daze.

When the elevator stopped in the sixth floor, I just realized that before it seemed that I didn’t press the sixth floor button because I was in a daze.

When I just considered who would be the one who pressed, my phone rang.

I searched my pocket and suddenly found out my phone. On the screen, it showed a message from “annoying person”.

Annoying person: [“For how many times have you forget to press the button?”]

I: [ “I couldn’t remember it.”]

Annoying person: [“A man that marry a stupid woman like you should have committed a lot of sins in previous life.”]

I took a deep breath, then took another one again. Then I smiled and replied: [“A woman that marries someone that really kind like you should have gathered a great virtue in previous life.”]

Annoying person: [“It’s good that you know it.”]

I: [“Then how should I thank you who make a great kindness of helping me to press the button?”]

Annoying person: [“Tonight go home and place the hot water, wait for me…”]

I was having a shock, I covered my face: [“Annoying!”]

Action 4

One day, I accompanied annoying person to go out and have a business gathering until midnight. We took a taxi to go home.

When we were in the car, I suddenly made a whim and asked him: “Are we going back to your home or my home?”

The annoying person was silent for. Awhile, then he answered when the taxi driver looked suspiciously at us: “Let’s go to your house, today my wife will come home.”

The driver looked at me disdainfully, it made felt like he regarded me as “Third-party”.

Gosh! Did he really need to be cooperative toward me!

Action 5

Because we had same jobs, I and annoying person frequently encounter each other in the corridor of our office.

One day, I was going to the laboratory, during the way I met him. He quicken his step and came toward me. He chatted with me familiarly: “Beauty, are you free tonight?”

I didn’t even turn my head, I continued to walk forward: “I don’t have time, my husband isn’t going to business trip.”

“Then when will he go?”

Seeing that he was tempted to play with me, I decided to respond. I stopped and blinked at him. I smiled and stroked his waist lightly: “No need to be worry… Wait until he is going in business trip, I will definitely tell you, em ——-“

Because of my acting skill is so wonderful, the annoying person was startled that he said after a half day: “How come I suddenly feel panic? It seems I shouldn’t join any business trip, you are too hard to let me feel calm!”

“……..”

To say it, it was clear he was the one that provoked me first.

Action 6

After several days, I once again encountered this annoying person along the corridor. This time I took initiative to come over, I placed my hands on her shoulder for a while: “Hey, today my husband is in business trip.”

“……” The annoying person looked at me and he was speechless.

I continued to laughed cutely: “Tonight will you come to my house? I buy a new lingerie, it is in the purple color that you love….”

The annoying person immediately cut off my words and said: “Don’t you see that is a person behind you?”

I : “E…. I have something to do, I will leave first!”

Action 7

The annoying person frequently tells me that in this life time, his greatest dream is having a little lover.

It’s a pity that our family has a strong moral. Even confidante will be pinched to death by me.

As a result, every festivals related to couples such as February the 14th, May 21st, July 7th… I often received an annoying person’s Alipay transfer or Wechat red envelope. The transfer is usually come with a message: “Little lover, my wife is too strict. So I couldn’t spend this day with you. You could buy anything you one, regard it as my present to you —- someone that loves you forever!”

I: ‘……….”

I suddenly really want to pinch him to death.

One time, he was on a business trip, suddenly he transferred money to me. I looked at the calendar, I couldn’t find what a special day is it!

I called him: “Why did you give me money?”

The annoying person said with me sentimental tone: “Baby, I have something to do, I couldn’t go home tomorrow. If you really miss me, just go to stroll around, and swipe my card. Don’t call me, if not my wife will find out…. You know her!”

He is, really… Is his dream of having little lover makes him be crazy?

Action 8

As our family has a strict rule, the annoying person also tries to struggle, but it is defeated with my rational, power and pressure.

For example:

Annoying person said righteously: “Ms A is my classmate.”

I said: “We were also classmate before.”

Annoying person: “…..”

For example:

Annoying person said with serious tone: “I and Ms B is just friend.”

I said: “We were also friends before.”

Annoying person: “…….”

For example:

Annoying person said with dignified tone: “Ms C is my junior.”

I said: “When I studied for my doctor, I entered the program half year later than you, I could be regarded as your junior too.”

Annoying person: “……”

For example:

With serious tone once again, the annoying person said: “I and Ms D are co-worker.”

I said: “We are co-worker too.”

“…..” Finally he said: “We already married when we started work!”

“That’s right. Then let’s have a divorce now. You see I couldn’t guard you at every moment.”

The annoying person considered for a while: “Forget it, if you don’t guard me and you guard other people, wouldn’t it be a loss to me?”

Since that time, annoying person didn’t go out to have social gathering with anyone within his social circle that is woman. Everyone said that he is cold toward all of the women.

But it’s only me that know. That this cold man is only someone that is afraid of his wife.

Action 9

I remembered when I wrote a gangster taboo romance, for the sake of the plot, I looked at various kind of romantic until I scratched my head. I read a lot of various reading materials, but there was no result. I just could with cheeky attitude beg for help from annoying person. Whenever I encountered this moment, the annoying person would rather trouble himself, rather than allow me to ask others for help.

Moreover, to ensure he wouldn’t be tired until I find inspiration.

Afterwards I started to write about the teacher-student romance in the campus. Professor Yang, who is a calm and graceful professor. Finally, the annoying person was worried, he came over and saw my novel. He suggested to me seriously: “Next time don’t you write this kind of youth theme novel time. It turns out that your gangster theme novel is better.”

I asked him: “Why? I think everyone likes youth novel.”

The annoying person said: “But I wait for so long, but I seem to be unuseful.”

I covered my face: “Annoying, go cool yourself, don’t bother me when I am writing.”

Action 10

I changed my phone and I was lazy to renew my contact list, I just threw it to annoying person: “Help me to copy all the contact list.”

“Couldn’t you do it by yourself?”

“It’s my way to give you chance to let you you prove yourself to be useful, okay?”

“………thank you!”

The annoying person played with my phone for a while, then returned the phone back to me.

I took my phone and when I went in front of my computer, then it showed in my new phone a new message. “Guai guai” (“Darling”).

I thought about it for a while, also couldn’t recognize who was it. I opened the message.

Guai Guai: [“This nickname is better to show my personality.”]

This is the most annoying about this person —- he doesn’t have a self-knowledge!

………..

When Wei Wei heard my stories, she couldn’t find an appropriate word to describe us, she just said: “You are really a natural born soulmate for each other!”

I just laughed softly and said to her: “In this world there is no natural born soulmate, in a marriage you need to be tolerant. You need to be understanding toward each other. Two people should be considerate with each other. You need to collaborate together then it will work. When the marriage smooths your differences then you guys can be changed into soulmate.”

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