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Published at 20th of August 2020 10:31:38 AM
Chapter 34

There was something I always found strange .

 It’s regarding Chako .

 Being by my side every time .
Always smiling next to me .

 No matter how many times I repeat, Chako shoulders something and disappears in the end .
Wanting to save Chako, wanting to know that secret…
I approached various people, and got to know various information .

 Chako was originally human .
And is Tomotaksenpai’s familiar .

 Unlike normal phantoms, Chako doesn’t have a totem, and the miasma swirl is Chako’s actual body .
Able to change forms variedly, and preserve an ego even if phantoms are consumed .
Being a phantom that was improbably born from nature, living quietly in the mountains .

 I was finally able to learn that much .
Even then, I wasn’t able to wipe away a feeling of peculiarity…

 The day of the Cultural Festival . 。
Learning about the mountain cherry phantom and the details behind becoming Tomotaksenpai’s phantom from Chako, I finally saw an answer .

 Chako wasn’t a phantom born from nature .

 ――Isn’t Chako a phantom that was made?

 After the Cultural Festival, holding the treasure chest key from Chako, I climbed the mountain .
It was the mountain the Photography Club hiked, where Chako told me she was a human .
The cherry tree near the summit, was unchanged from the day Chako and I looked up at the sky together…
However, when I firmly turned my consciousness towards it, the spiritual energy was small but it was clad in it .

 Tomotaksenpai, had chipped the spiritual energy to its limit .

 When I softly placed my hand on the tree, I could feel a small breath .
I breathed out, and chewed my lips .

 To resurrect this phantom, the power of the Priestess of Ominous Cloud must be used .
Even though I trained with Yuusei-kun, and had become able to control my power, I probably can never turn back time again if I use the power here .

“… It will be fine… It will be fine…”

 I slowly spilled the words to encourage myself who was about to be terror-strickened .

 Kousuke-kun was granted power .
Tomotaksenpai is probably still fretting but, he’ll surely let her hand go .
Sensei can live long, Yuusei-kun made friends, Tomoyuki-san is spending time with everyone .
No one is left out .

“It will be fine . ”

 Only Chako was left .
If Chako moves forward, there would be no need to turn back time .

“Tree Spirit Grandpa… I heard, from Chako . ”

 With my hand still placed on the tree trunk, I talked .

“Chako was the phantom who lived in this mountain with Tree Spirit Grandpa… Now, she became an onmyouji’s familiar, and is going to school with me… I want her to live in this world but, it is rather difficult . ”

 Disappearing, no matter how many times I turn back time .

“I hope you can lend me your strength . . I, am the Priestess of Ominous Clouds . I have the power to resurrect Tree Spirit Grandpa . Do you mind listening to what I have to say?”

 It was scary to use my power, and not be able to turn back time .
However, I thought this mountain cherry tree could teach me something important to Chako .

“… The power, I will be pouring it . ”

 There was no reply from the sleeping Tree Spirit Grandpa .
Even then I softly placed my lips on the tree trunk .
And, poured enough power for the mountain cherry tree to take the form of a tree spirit .

“I am…”

 After pouring the power, I separated my body from the tree trunk .
When I do, a grandpa about the height of a child appeared in front of the tree trunk .
As I forcibly woke him up when he was sleeping, he probably didn’t have a clear cognizance .
The grandpa with white moustache growing on his face, opened and closed his sinewy hand in wonder .

“Nice to meet you . ”
“… What didst thou wish to hear from me?”

 At my words, the grandpa turns clouded, light brown eyes without sclera towards me .

“The small wolf that you lived with here… Was it grandpa who made that child?”

 I gently matched gazes with Tree Spirit Grandpa who has a body smaller than me .
Tree Spirit Grandpa gave a small sigh, closed his eyes, and nodded slowly .

“… Aye . I made that child . ”

 Pain ran in those words .

“――Whom I killed . ”

 And so I heard from Tree Spirit Grandpa about the Chako up till now .

 The mountain grandpa lived in was originally, a place where miasma gathered .
Although that miasma darkened the surroundings, and contravened the hearts of humans that passed by, that was it .
Grandpa knew about the gathering miasma, but wasn’t interested in it .

 It seems that the mountain cherry tree phantom Grandpa became a phantom when the mountain cherry tree’s age crossed 500 years .
As there were many phantoms at that time, there were naturally phantoms in the surroundings of the Grandpa who lived in the mountain .
However, the phantoms decreased before he knew it, and he says that the time in which he lived alone increased .

 Grandpa has an ego .
However, he was unable to take on a perfect human form like powerful phantoms, and wasn’t able to get mixed among humans and live .
Accordingly, as he lived 10, 20 years alone, Grandpa started thinking .

 ――That, if miasma is gathered, isn’t it possible to make a phantom?

 Apparently, Grandpa first tried to put the stagnant miasma that already existed into something likely to become a totem .
Raccoon dogs and foxes that lived a long time, and the currently extinct Japanese wolves .
Rabbits, birds .
Dolls, stuffed toys and mirrors that were treasured .
However, they perished within the miasma, disappeared, and although the miasma became thicker, they didn’t become phantoms .

 The grandpa subsequently thought, if phantoms without ego enter the miasma, won’t they come to gain an ego?
He put moderate phantoms without egos into the miasma, and let them absorb it .
However, the phantoms were annihilated, and as expected it only thickened the miasma .

 Next, Grandpa made the miasma thicker .
Attacking humans that come to the mountain, making them bear resentment .
Thinking that their thoughts of wanting to remain in this world might become some sort of provision, it seems that he killed a number of humans slightly before Chako was born .

 I close my eyes, and give a small nod at Grandpa’s confession .

“… I heard a little about it . That there was a time this mountain frequently had falling rocks . ”

 When I climbed the mountain in the 3rd round .
Sensei told the Chako who was afraid of falling rocks . [1]

 『There was something like that some time back . 』
 『The roads are being maintained and the construction of a rockfall barrier is completed so there won’t be any accidents . 』

 Accidents of falling rocks . They were what Grandpa caused to produce Chako .
The road’s maintenance and the rockfall barrier fences were probably important too but, the root of incidents no longer happening was because Chako was born, and the need for Grandpa to kill humans disappeared .

“Tomotaksenpai… the onmyouji came to exterminate Grandpa, because you killed humans . ”

 Chako said she didn’t know why Tomotaksenpai went to the mountain .
However, Tomotaksenpai is an earnest onmyouji . He wouldn’t destroy phantoms without a reason .
Although there was a gap of time between Grandpa’s act and the onmyouji’s sanction, as a dangerous phantom, Grandpa had probably become a target to destroy .


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“When the onmyouji cometh, I thought it couldn’t be helped… Rather, I wast glad I hath spent a year with that child…”

 Originally, one would immediately be found by onmyouji if they killed even one human .
As Grandpa didn’t do it to take life energy for himself, but to make the miasma on the mountain, the detection may have been slowed .

“I didn’t mind being destroyed by the onmyouji… I knew that what I did wast unforgivable for the humans… Only, I hath felt apologetic to that child who’d be left behind . ”

 Saying that, Grandpa tightly pressed down the space between his brows with a sinewy hand .

“They[2] stayed on the mountain because of mine selfishness… Even though that child could changeth into a human, and lived with humans . ”

 I bite my lips tightly at those words oozing with pain .

“… I didn’t teach them that, and hath continued to keepeth that child with the body of a small wolf by mine side . Not allowing them to cross other phantoms, I hath continued to hide that child . ”

 Saying just that, Grandpa takes a breath “Haa” .
As though to calm himself down, he forcefully rubs the space between his brows, and starts to speak again .

“Even though that child is a phantom, they wanted to eat, and hated to scare humans… Their true nature wast human . ”

 Grandpa closed his eyes, and although, at times he’d bite his lips, he continued to speak .

“That child wast likely… among the humans I hath killed . ”

[1] Chapter 10 . 2
[2] Most sentences in this novel don’t have gender pronouns… but that wouldn’t work in English . For Gramps, I’ll be using “they” when he refers to Chako .

 Those words hurt my chest as though it was being pressed hard .

 Wrong, I wanted to say .
The world Chako was in and this world are different .
I wanted to say that the things Grandpa did and Chako’s death weren’t related .

 However, Chako said she died in a falling rock accident .
And, was born in this world .

 I don’t know how the world Chako was in and this world are connected .
What if Grandpa’s act influenced the world Chako was in?

 If so…

“――I hath killed that child . ”

 Those are words I can’t deny .

“Not teaching that child everything, I wished for them to be by my side . I also didn’t teach them a lot about onmyoujis . I was afraid they’d know and start to hold an interest… As a result, that child became a familiar…”

 Grandpa’s probably remembering the day Chako became a familiar .

“Even though it was me who killed that child… They tried to stop me from being erased…”

 A deep wrinkle between his brows, his words ooze with regret .

 Grandpa was lonely .
He wished for company .

 As Chako was born after using many lives, Chako was probably the apple of Grandpa’s eye .
Knowing his sin, he also knew that he’d one day be destroyed by onmyouji .
Even then… he wanted to be with Chako .

 Grandpa made Chako .
Tomotaksenpai turned her into a familiar .

“… Everyone, has a lot on their plates don’t they . ”

 What succeeded and what failed .
What’s good and what’s bad, I don’t know .

“Chako… may not have wanted to be born as a phantom . ”

 Chako sometimes, looks up at the sky absentmindedly .
Perhaps, she’s remembering about her past life or about her original world .

“… However, I’m glad that Chako was born . ”

 Even if, Chako isn’t able to fit into this world .

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Even if she’s suffering because she’s living as a phantom .

“I’m glad I met Chako… I’m glad Grandpa made Chako . ”

 Even if it was Grandpa who killed the human Chako .
Even if Chako wants to return to her original world .

 Nonetheless, I――

“Grandpa, Chako always disappears . ”
“… Disappears, thee say?”
“Yes . Please listen about the Chako after she parted from you… and the Chako henceforth . ”

 Staring at the clouded light brown eyes, I talk about various things .
About Chako becoming Tomotaksenpai’s familiar, and being by the side of me, the Priestess of Ominous Clouds .
About Chako’s past life being human, and not being a human of this world .

 About Chako disappearing in the end, even if I turn back time again and again .

“I see…”

 Grandpa who listened to me seriously, breathed out a little .

“… That child probably isn’t thinking about living in this world . ”
“… Yes . ”

 My voice shake at Grandpa’s words .

“I… Am selfish . No matter how much Chako hates it… I can’t give up on Chako . I keep thinking I want her to live . ”

 The me whose voice shakes is so pathetic . I chew my lips strongly, and grip my hands tightly .

 My thoughts might not have considered Chako .
Even then .

 ――I want her to live in this world .

“Chako became a familiar but, perhaps because she doesn’t have a totem, the familiar contract can be released if that body’s miasma is erased . ”

 Putting strength into my eyes, I look at Grandpa .
Grandpa’s eyes widened, intrigued by my words .

“I hope that Grandpa will make a new body for Chako… So that Chako can be reborn after she’s not a familiar . ”
“… Doesn’t that child also disappear when their body is erased?”
“I think because Chako’s will isn’t something of this world, it’s hard to be taken in . That’s probably why, only her ego was preserved inside the miasma swirl . ”

 Hearing from Chako, and hearing from Grandpa now, I’ve become certain .
The connection between Chako’s will and her body is weak .
And, she won’t be taken in by other wills .
That is because Chako isn’t a human from this world .

“In the 4th round, I wasn’t able to make a body that has no will . ”

 I thought a lot with Yuusei-kun but, we didn’t find an answer .
To make Chako’s body .
Its answer was here .

“I resurrected Grandpa, because I wanted you to make Chako’s body . I want to make Chako reborn . ”

 Grandpa stared at me, but slowly nods after a while .

“I see… That child became a familiar because of me… To make a new body, like thee hath said, thee have to first release that child from being a familiar . ”
“… Yes . ”
“There’s not much timeth remaining, aye? We has’t to hurry . ”

 Grandpa will make Chako’s new body .
I resurrected Grandpa for that .
However, that means the miasma has to be thickened…

“… I understand it’s a selfish request but, I hope you won’t kill humans . ”
“Aa . I knoweth . That child probably won’t like a body obtained from killing humans . ”

 Killing humans may thicken the miasma quickly .

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Even then, when I requested Grandpa, he knowingly nodded .

 … I think he’s a kind phantom .
If only he can be in human form, he probably could have fit in and lived in the human world .

 How lonely had he been living on this mountain alone, in the unchanging time?

“… You want to meet Chako, right?”
“… Aye . I want to meet them even now . ”

 Grandpa sighs “Haa” while answering my question .
However, in opposition to those words oozing with nostalgia, he shakes his head slightly .

“I gaveth that child painful experiences… Even then, if I meet that child, I’d end up thinking about wanting to liveth in this mountain together… That child is kind so, they might try to grant my wish . Then, they’ll suffer from their relationship with their master, the onmyouji . ”

 … That might be the case .
Chako might say she wants to return to the mountain .
However, there’s still no guarantee Tomotaksenpai will permit that…

“… You’re right . ”
“That’s why, meeting that child cometh after they’re released from being a familiar . ”
“Yes . ”

 I still can’t tell Chako that Grandpa’s resurrected .
With this, there’s yet another secret I can’t tell Chako .
This fact presses hard against my chest .

 When it does, Grandpa who was staring at me spins his words softly .

“… Wast it okay to resurrect me?”

 Words that are crammed with various things .

“… It’s probably, not okay . ”

 I close my eyes and answer his words .

 Surely no one will die on this mountain .
However, there will probably be injured people .

 The impetus is me .
The Priestess of Ominous Clouds lent a hand to a phantom, letting humans be attacked .

 This matter may become a problem eventually .
However, I don’t regret .

 I open my eyes, smiling a little .

“I’ll keep quiet about it for a while . Because it’s problematic if we’re stopped . ”

 I can’t tell Kousuke-kun or sensei .
I haven’t told them that Chako is Tomotaksenpai’s familiar .
I can’t tell them that I’m trying to rebuild Chako’s body .

 I can’t tell Tomotaksenpai too .
Tomotaksenpai hasn’t let go of Chako’s hand as yet .
I told him I’m trying to release the familiar contract but, I hadn’t told him the method as yet .
There’s no way I can say something like I resurrected the phantom Tomotaksenpai put to sleep .

 Lastly, I can’t tell Yuusei-kun or Tomoyuki-san too .
Because they’re onmyoujis…
“You can’t do something like that”, they may say and stop me .
“I understand” they may say that without asking anything and lend me a hand .
Whichever it is, it will make them shoulder heavy burdens .

 If possible .
Just me―― .

“… I see . I supposeth I’ll do it stealthily too . ”

 Saying that, Tree Spirit Grandpa narrows his clouded light brown eyes .

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