I shook my head to clear it, but still felt quite groggy. I rolled off the bed and went over to the window. Outside, the sky was a light pink. Morning?
“No, it wasn’t pleasant,” I said. “Did I say anything in my sleep?”
She shook her head. “You just screamed and then grabbed hold of my tit like you were trying to stop yourself falling off the world.” She rubbed her breast again.
“Sorry.” Squeezing her breast had been comforting, but my dream-self forgot to consider there might be someone on the other end of my groping hand. “The Jester spoke to me. Offered me whatever I wanted if I came to the Palace to serve the masters. It was a tempting offer, you know, if it hadn’t involved being eaten by demons.”
I wiped the side of my face which was sticky with dried drool. When you sleep with someone, they get to see you at your most disgusting. Which in my case is very.
“He’s really taken a shine to you, then?” said Jenny.
“Lucky me. I don’t know if I’d call it a ‘him’, though. It looked like…” The memory of what I had seen, despite only getting a glimpse, sent a chill through me.
“We should get out of here as soon as we can,” said Jenny.
“Yeah.” It occurred to me I should tell her there was probably a squadron of flying monsters on their way, but that would mean having to admit I’d given away our location, and did she really need to know that?
“What is it?” said Jenny, her eyes narrowed. “You have that look when you’re hiding something from me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said, swiftly moving towards the door. “We better see what the others are up to.”
“At least put your trousers on.” She threw them at me and pulled on her own.
The other four were already up and ready to go. Dudley was at the window, keeping watch, while Maurice was writing in his notebook. I had no idea what he could possibly still have to write about, although it may have been unrelated to our current predicament. Perhaps he was writing the screenplay he’d never found the time for.
“Are you alright?” said Flossie. “We heard a scream.”
“You heard a scream but didn’t rush in to save us?” I asked.
Claire tilted her head at me. “If we came running every time we heard you scream, Colin, we’d all be dead from exhaustion.”
“How do you know it was me screaming? Could have been her.”
“You think we don’t know what your scream sounds like?” said Claire. “We’ve heard it often enough.”
Everyone nodded. Smug shits.
I told them about my dream encounter with the Jester, which got their attention, and put the willies up them. Especially the part about the masters’ personal guard being sent to find us. They weren’t quite so chirpy then.
“It didn’t say what these guards looked like?” asked Maurice.
“No. Just that there’d be a flock of them which makes me think they’ll be airborne, or some kind of demonic sheep. Either way, best not to hang around here waiting for them.”
“They don’t know where we are though, right,” said Maurice. He flicked through his notes. “From what I can tell, it can get in your head when you’re asleep, or presumably when you’re dead, but it can’t read your mind or tell where you are. If they have to search the whole of Nekromel, we should be relatively safe here.”
When had Maurice turned into Detective Deduction?
“They may know we’re near the ocean.”
“And how would they know that?” asked Jenny.
“I don’t know. The Jester’s some kind of supernatural being, it probably has magical abilities. And… I may have let slip that I was planning a sea voyage.”
“Colin!” exclaimed Claire like this was the worst thing I’d ever done, which I felt was unfair. I’d done far worse.
“Chill out, will you? It’s not like everything was peachy and now it’s fucked. We were pretty much fucked to start with. There’s still a lot of coastline for them to scour, even if it is from the sky. We need to remain calm and get some more information from the Manson family.”
I moved over to one side of the upturned table and grabbed a leg. “Help me move this out of the way.”
Dudley grabbed one of the other legs and we pushed the table across the floor, the two surfaces grinding against each other to make a loud rasp.
I took the hook from where it was hanging. “Right, I’m going to open the trapdoor, but there’s a chance the husband’s come back to life and is going to come charging out and rip all our arms off. So be ready and prepared.”
The others did an excellent impression of five people not ready and unprepared.
I gave the hook to Dudley. “Okay, new plan. You open the trapdoor.” I picked up the axe. “I’ll deal with what comes out.”
Jenny took the kid’s jacket which someone had hung up on the coat rack. Looking around, it looked like there had been quite a bit of tidying up. I guess it would have been impolite to invade someone else’s home and leave it a mess.
The knives were all back inside the jacket, arranged in order of size. Jenny handed out a knife to each person and kept one for herself.
She nodded at Dudley who heaved the door open.
Nobody came rushing out. The black opening just sat there, gawping.
“Hello?” I called down. “Are you there?”
There was no answer. We stood waiting, but nothing happened.
“Terry?” shouted Flossie. “Can yo’ hear me?” No response. “Ah think they must be asleep.”
Everyone closed in around the hole and peered in.
Maurice pushed his slipping glasses back up his nose. “There may be another exit down there. We probably should have checked.”
Very true, if a bit late. They might have escaped through a tunnel and already be on their way back with an army of pitchfork-wielding villagers. Even if they were just keeping quiet, they might have a store of weapons down there.
“Right,” I said, relaxing my grip on the axe handle, “one of you go down and see what they’re doing.”
Claire edged towards the hole and peered nervously into the darkness. “Why don’t you go down?”
“Oh, it’s all equality and complaints about the wage gap when things are tickety-boo, but as soon as someone has to climb down into a dark basement full of psycho-killers, it’s a different story then, isn’t it? Suddenly that’s ‘man’s work’.”
“That’s not what I meant,” said Claire. “And if it was man’s work, I certainly wouldn’t send you.”
I turned to Jenny, expecting her to jump to my defence. Nothing.
“The only reason I think you should go,” said Claire, “is because you can create light. You’ll be able to see better than the rest of us. And if there is something scary down there, you can just stand in a corner and pretend you’re a Christmas tree.”
Her ability to laud my magical powers and simultaneously belittle them was truly impressive.
I summoned a ball of light and tossed it into the hole. It bounced down the steps like a ball, although it made no sound.
“There you go. Now anyone can see it all in glorious Technicolour. Who’s first?”
No one moved.
“Fine,” said Claire. “I know we expect a lot of you, Colin, so it’s only fair we do our share.”
Maurice stepped forward. “I’ll—”
“No,” said Claire. “I don’t need a man to hold my hand.” She grabbed Flossie. “We can do this.”
“Wah!” said Flossie. “Why me?”
Claire didn’t offer an answer and dragged Flossie with her as she took a step into the dark, small knife held out in front.
“It’s not fair,” wailed Flossie as she reluctantly followed Claire one hesitant step at a time. “It’s Colin they want, not us.”
“That’s true,” said Maurice. “The Jester never mentioned the rest of us. Probably doesn’t even know we exist.”
Flying towards us was what I could only describe as a box with wings. Not fixed like an aeroplane, huge feathered wings beating the air in long slow flaps. Whatever was in the box, I doubted it would be a pleasant surprise.