Chapter 24: The Tears of the Deep Blue Sea (Part 1 of 2)
What is happiness? Happiness is seeing alcohol and food waiting for you to enjoy once you awoke from sleep.
I was woken from a very long dream by the tantalizing scent of meat. Facing the feast of food, I counted the various dishes and realised there was a total of eighty one courses!
How luxurious! Actually eighty courses were enough. Rich people these days don't know how to be thrifty and maintain a household!
Besides the table was an attractive young maiden, she placed a bowl and pair of chopsticks before me, and then also placed another bowl and a pair of chopsticks by the side, she lowered her head and respectfully greeted, "Great One, the dishes have all been served."
Great One? Is she calling me? As I was deciding if I should answer, I heard a voice below me say, "You can leave."
It truly gave me a shock! I hurriedly stretched my hand to pat my chest but I realised I could not stretch my hand. When I lowered my head, I could not see my body. In that moment, I was truly frightened and was about to cry, but no matter what, I could not release any sound.
Thus, I fainted in terror.
How could I not faint? To be able to see but not able to eat was truly life's worst tragedy. Since I did not have a physical body, it meant I could not eat. Truly terrifying! Terrifying me to death!
When I woke up again, there was another table of food. It seemed like it was breakfast since the dishes were lighter and there were no meat. There was a bowl and a pair of chopsticks, it seemed like it was never moved. Although there was rice and food in the bowl, but there was no one sitting at the bowl.
It was a little strange.
Then, I saw a pair of long slim hands pick up the chopsticks before my eyes and placed a hibiscus pastry onto the plate opposite. The hibiscus pastry looked truly fitting to my taste, but that hand was actually more eye-catching than the hibiscus pastry. I hesitated for a moment and finally placed my attention on that hand.
It should be a pair of male hands, fair and long, clear bone structure, I suddenly arose a feeling that it would be pretty good to give it a bite.
"Jin Mi, don't you love to eat hibiscus pastry the most? I know you must still be alive, at my side!" I was frustrated that I could not bite the hand when I heard the same voice speak coldly from below me, "Jin Mi, come out, come out and eat the hibiscus pastry.... if you don't want to see me, I will close my eyes... just as long as you come out......"
I was dazed, judging from his tone - this Jin Mi must be a prized pet he owns! He is trying to coax him out to eat. To be able to eat at the same table as the owner, this prized pet truly had a good life.
But... Jin Mi? This name seemed to be a little familiar. I fell into deep thought and finally concluded that I had never seen a small cat, small dog or even a small rabbit called Jin Mi.
Suddenly, my gaze became dark and I could not see anything. I was stunned at what happened when I heard the male said, "I've closed my eyes, can you come out?"
I was thunderstruck! I suddenly realised something -- it turned out I was a formless soul residing in the male's eyes!
Thus, I fainted again.
My host, the owner of these eyes, was truly a strange person. This was my conclusion after observing him for a few days.
He liked to stare at grapes - real grapes, drawing of grapes, as long as it was grapes, or purple round objects like a grape - all these would attract his attention. Actually, it was fine to like to look at grapes, everyone had their own likes and I could not force him to like to look at pig leg or hibiscus pastry like me. But, since I lived in his eyes, whatever he looked, I was forced to look at as well - this caused me great pain. Everyday facing a sea of purple, I was afraid that one day I would become colour blind or become a grape that popped out of his eyes.
He liked to look at grapes so much that I thought he loved to eat grapes. But he would only watch it, never eating, never seeing him reach out for even a jade grape.
I think he must be like the Ye Gentleman that people talked about who claimed to be fond of dragons but was actually afraid of them.
I did not know who he was but the demons around would respectfully call him "Great One". He must be a high ranking person. I did not know how he looked like because he never looked at a mirror. If he did not look at a mirror, how would I be able to see his face? So, I could only imagine - seeing how the demons would immediately lower their heads towards him, appearing so scared and frightened, I guessed that this person must be extremely ugly! So ugly that even the demons did not dare to look at him - I wondered that must be to what level of ugliness?
Thus, he never looked at a mirror so as not to scare himself.
Luckily, he never looked at a mirror as I was afraid he would scare me.
As I was a residing soul, I could only live as he lived - when he closed his eyes, I could not see anything. Thus, the first important thing was to adjust my breath with his, trying my best to sleep and awake with him. If he was sleeping when I was awake, then I would never be able to see the light of day. But, slowly I realised that no matter what time, just as long as I was awake, his eyes were wide open. Later, I tried not to sleep for one day and one night, and realised that he never once closed his eyes.
This person also had a weird habit. Every mealtime, he would command for a table full of food and wine, and there would be a set of bowl and chopsticks next to him, but the seat would always be empty. I never saw anyone sit in it. During mealtime, my host would always pick food for the neighbouring bowl, everything he picked was what I loved to eat. It caused me to be so hungry and wished that I was the person sitting there!
At first, I suspected that the person was someone that people could not see. For example, a formless soul like me, but someone that could move around freely outside. But after a while, I saw that there was not even a trace of energy there. No matter how full the bowl was, there was no one to eat it. It was truly a waste. But, my host only liked to fill that bowl with wood but would hardly eat for himself. Occasionally, he would pick one or two food then placed down his chopsticks. The cook must be good at making good-looking food but the taste must not be good and to his liking since he ate it so unwillingly.
Thus, I concluded that my host was an ugly, non-eating, non-sleeping, but could still live, big monster. Oh, and he also liked to look at grapes but did not dare to eat grapes. Also, he reared a prized pet that could never be seen called Jin Mi.
His feelings for the prized pet... hmm, how should I describe it? It must be special. Of course, this prized pet seemed to also be special, even till now, I did not know what it was.
Sometimes, he would gaze at a falling rainbow and murmur, "Jin Mi." Sometimes, he would look at a half blossomed flower and say, "Jin Mi." Sometimes, he would face a round fresh grape and mutter, "Jin Mi." And, at times, he would face a drop of ordinary dew and call, "Jin Mi."
More strangely, when he called, I would feel like my heart was hiding an unripened grape, sour and rough.
I thought with some fear, perhaps one day, I would truly drop out as a grape.