Candle: This chapter was pretty short so there’s only 2 parts to it, pls enjoy.
"Mr. Yin, there's just one last line and we'll be finished."
The air already had the faint scent of blood. Only after hearing this sentence from the tattoo artist did I turn my head back again to take a look, but my eyes happened to connect right to Yin Li's gaze.
"Were you not watching before?"
I looked down at the floor, forcing my chattering teeth to move. "I'm scared of this sort of thing."
Yin Li signaled to the tattoo artist to stop. "Give her the tattoo gun, let her draw the final line."
I stared at Yin Li in disbelief. "Can't, I can't! I don't want to!" But the tattoo artist had already shoved the tattoo gun in my hand.
"A line has to be gone over twice. This is the second time's final pass, so you only have to follow the line I've already drawn, it should be simple. Don't use too much force." The tattoo artist once again gave me that look full of pity.
Yin Li sat right in front of me, his beautiful back before me, and only then did I finally clearly see the design on his back left shoulder. At first like a tangled together vine, yet also with a fierce and threatening beauty, at a closer look you'd discover that those criss-crossing lines was actually the character "yan" (颜). It was a "yan" character overlaid with pearls of blood.
With the tattoo artist's guidance, I stiffly pulled on a pair of gloves and, trembling with fear, came to stand in front of Yin Li's back. His skin around the twisting lines of the tattoo design looked red and swollen, and some drops of blood had escaped to flow down the line of his shoulder blade.
I felt terrified.
Obviously I was the one holding the tattoo gun, but even though I should have no reason to be scared, I was extraordinarily scared.
I knew Yin Li did this on purpose, very deliberately acting this way. Getting a tattoo really was a kind of ceremony; he was forcing me to participate in it. He was telling me that the blood he bled bound us together. I inflicted pain and wounds upon him, even creating his injuries. And he, on the other hand, endured it. These pain-filled glyphs,1 mysteriously and inexorably, really would bind our fates together.
1 The author originally used “totem” instead but Niang Niang and I decided to change it because it’s kind of an odd way to put this sorta thing in English.
Yin Li was telling me something, by giving me with this huge privilege and responsibility, by allowing me to pick up the tattoo gun and stab his body with its needles. The future payback he planned to take from me must be worth more than what he was giving me now.
He wanted me to be good and stay with him, don't cause trouble, listen obediently, and stay within the confines of the life he'd plan for me. When he needed me to be his fiancée, I'd have to comply.
"Yan Xiao, you can start." Yin Li twisted his head to look at me, without a single consideration for my state of mind.
I bit my lip, but in the end I still raised the tattoo gun, heard the sound of the needles piercing flesh, and then watched the blood flow out of the wounds.
I completed the final stroke in that "yan" character.
Afterwards I could only vaguely recall how the tattoo artist took the tattoo gun out of my hand, wiped away Yin Li's blood, and began applying the colors. Underneath Yin Li's complex gaze, I dazedly pulled off the bloody gloves, and then with my whole body sapped of strength, curled up in a corner of the sofa, hugging myself.
After the tattoo was inked, the tattoo artist firmly gave Yin Li some warnings on what to look out for, and then swiftly departed. In the room, only Yin Li and I were left.
Yin Li was still in the same state of undress with his back exposed. He walked over and stood in front of me, extending his hand to offer, "Come, don't just sit here, you should return to your room."
I lifted my head and stared at his face, my heart somehow filled with every facet of bitterness and hatred. Yin Li at this moment completely gave off the feeling of a ruler, and he had even managed to complete his goal. Indeed he had the qualifications of the victor. Yet I was left completely unable to calm the surging waves of chaos in my heart.
I glared at his hand, and then pulling it over I ruthlessly bit down on one of his fingers. He definitely would never have anticipated that I could do such a tasteless thing, and as expected the expression on his face was very pleasing to the eye. But even when my mouth began to taste of iron, he still didn't pull his hand out, only frowning slightly. In the end I could no longer go on. Blood calls for blood, and his back left shoulder had already lost a sizeable amount of blood for my sake. I was no longer afraid of increasing my debt, but in any case, I had already been firmly bound by him.
But when I finally let go, Yin Li picked up his hand and examined the wound on it, then said, "Only a dog will bite a human." He said this as light as a feather to me, yet his words contained a trace of delight.
I was so furious I clenched my jaw,2 but unable to think of any comeback, I could only shoot him a glare. Then as he mockingly watched me leave, I crawled off the sofa and hobbled away.
2 Actually originally this should have been “I puffed my cheeks” but I felt like in English this doesn’t have the proper nuance of anger…it’s more associated with pouting or acting cute.
AUTHORS NOTE:
Actually I feel like the tattoo process feels like some sadist and masochist's mystic ceremony: I give you power to hurt me, because I trust you. The pain you give me is the most close intimacy we have and the stronger tie between us… this, is my understanding of it. For example, an S and M won't let people they don't trust or don't feel anything for randomly oppress them. The foundation of S&M is a sense of security—many years ago I read Li Yonghe's Sadomasochism Subculture My impression after that? (WTF are you all doing research on?) Of course, Mr. Milk really is a fighter among perverts~ Their hearts still need to be researched~ (But I really love these stylish perverts what to do) How can you guys not love them, wuwuwuwuwu
Candle: Niang Niang finally dug out the meaning of 牛奶先生 (Mr. Milk)!! Apparently our Honorable Author-san has another novel published in which the ML got nicknamed “牛奶先生” by the novel’s readers because his name is Meng Niu (蒙牛). So that’s who she’s referring to. Goddamn did I spend a lotta time though chasing after all the fluent Chinese readers I know asking them what Mr. Milk/milkman might be slang for lol….
Niang Niang: Speaking of milkman… spare me one minute of your life and watch this