W-What the heck is happening?
I pinched my cheek hard, unable to believe this situation.
“Ouch!”
It hurt where I had pinched.
It hurt a lot.
The young boy in the mirror was copying my every move, and the skin on my pinched cheek was flushed red as if to tell me that this was indeed reality.
“Ah, ah…”
A clear, pleasant voice that I had until the accident escaped my mouth. It was my youthful voice that I shouldn’t have ever been able to hear again.
「What should I say
How should I say it
No matter how much I think about it」
For the first time in 3 years, I was producing a clear voice.
The mirror reflected my eyes widening in surprise as I sang a verse. It probably looked a little amusing, but I felt fantastic.
「Like this empty notepad
Even when I sit all day and think
All I can think about isー」
I drooped my head to concentrate on singing and sounded my voice. It was just like my young self’s voice that I thought I’d never hear hear again. Maybe I was dreaming, and maybe that dream was showing me what I had desired to see once again. In any case, everything just felt surreal.
「You
Other than you, baby
I don’t need anybody else
No
My head is filled only with you, baby
All I need is
All I need is you」
The corners of my mouth curved up in response to my freely enunciated voice. My bright smile and unrestricted voice made me feel almost as if they were trying to teach me what happiness was.
「Listen to this song for a moment
Time stops when I see you
(no-wuh-woo-wuh)
You, even though it’s hard to phrase
Know that you’re the only one for me」
I paused for a moment in fear that my original voice would come out where the pitch reached its peak note, but continued to sing the next lyrics.
「You
Other than you, baby
I don’t need anybody else
No
My head is filled only with you, baby
All I need is
All I need is you」
I was in tune the whole time until the song came to its end. Although I had hesitated a little in the middle, my pitches and my breathing were all as they were back then.
I just wanted to try using my own voice.
Whether this was reality or a dream of the time that I had so wanted back…
I really used to be good at singing.
I praised myself as I smiled in rejoice and looked up into the mirror. What stared back at me, dazed, were the members of iridescent who were leaning on the dance studio doors.
As if somebody had smacked me hard in the head with a hammer, my sense of reality returned with a large jolt.
Right, I was told that I hadn’t debuted yet. Damn it, what about my travel plans? What about my healing life that I had dreamt of?
I finally retired, and woke up only to return to hell?
To top it off, back to the point where I had just signed the debut contract?
I was doomed. I sincerely hoped for it to be a dream. Goddammit.
「What should I say
How should I say it
No matter how much I think about it」
Perhaps the door wasn’t closed properly when the four of them were passing by the dance studio. Somebody’s singing voice was leaking out of the door.
“Yoon-hyung, can we go look?”
“Shall we? They have a really nice voice.”
“We were called down to the meeting room, idiot. You too, hyung. Don’t be so easy on Ryu Sunho.”
Ryu Sunho, easily the tallest and seemingly the most willing to act cutesy, was nagging the oldest member, Yoon. Jitae, who was wearing a baseball cap, told Sunho off.
“Who’s singing?”
Rion was never one to speak much. Today, however, he asked as he quitely fiddled with his phone beside Sunho.
“Hyunggg… Jitae-hyung keeps calling me an idiot!”
Sunho whined at Yoon. Although he wasn’t hurt by Jitae’s words, it felt more as if he was trying to teasingly seek revenge.
“Yeah, I wonder. Jitae, don’t be too harsh to Sunho.”
As he replied to Rion, Yoon played along with Sunho’s joke and pretended to reprimand Jitae.
“Shouldn’t we be alright as long as we’re quick?”
“Hmph. Go, if you’re that curious.”
Jitae gave Sunho an indifferent answer as if to tell him that he didn’t care at all. He touselled his own hair and stared at Sunho’s back as Sunho leaped in joy.
“Yay! Rion, let’s go! Quickly!”
“Slow down. Hyung, we’ll head in first.”
As excited as a large dog wagging its tail at its owner, Sunho dragged Rion, who was languidly standing next to him, by his wrist and opened the studio door.
「Like this empty notepad
Even when I sit all day and think
All I can think about isー」
What they saw as soon as they opened the door was Suan, who was sitting in front of the dance studio mirrors alone, singing with his head drooped down. Following the two youngest members, Yoon and Jitae leaned onto the wall next to the studio door and stared at Suan’s back as he continued to sing.
「You
Other than you, baby
I don’t need anybody else
No
My head is filled only with you, baby
All I need is
All I need is you」
Suan’s voice, as he sang with his head down, had a pleasant ring to the listening ears. It was a voice that made them want to hear more, even for just a little longer. Nobody dared to speak, as if the singing would halt even at the sign of a short remark.
「Listen to this song for a moment
Time stops when I see you
(no-wuh-woo-wuh)
You, even though it’s hard to phrase
Know that you’re the only one for me」
Suan’s slight hesitation before his voice continued sounded as if he had someone in mind while singing. Perhaps he had someone that he missed; perhaps he had gone through a break-up with somebody that they didn’t even know about. Either way, Suan’s voice sounded somewhat doleful.
「You
Other than you, baby
I don’t need anybody else
No
My head is filled only with you, baby
All I need is
All I need is you」
The mirror reflected Suan as he smiled brightly and raised his head.
Was he always able to make that kind of face?
At that moment, that thought was likely shared by all of them.
.
.
“Suan-hyung, what are you doing here all by yourself?”
“Hyung, aren’t you going to head down to the meeting room?”
Starting with the question asked by Ryu Sunho, habitually stretching his final syllable, the members, who all looked slightly younger, began voicing out to me.
“Hey. Get up already.”
“Suan, I think we’re late already. We should go.”
Huh? Did they eat something that they shouldn’t have eaten or what? Were they always this friendly when I was 20 years old?
It was strange and difficult to grasp. I silently stared at each of their faces for a while.
ー Bzzzzt!
“Hello?”
ー Where are you guys? I told you to arrive at the meeting room by 10. Why aren’t any of you here?!?!
A woman’s voice echoed the dance studio as she yelled over the phone. Like a series of echoes that return when one shouts at the top of a mountain, the dance studio was soon filled with multiple echoes of aren’t you here, aren’t you here….
“Oh, we met Suan just as we were passing the dance studio. We were waiting to go together.”
Seo Yoon-hyung held the phone that was once against his ear further away as he answered the department chief.
ー Do you plan to keep ignoring meeting times even after debuting? You guys are still newbie practising candidates who haven’t even made their debut yet. Don’t you see any problem in your attitudes? Do we even have a reason to let you debut when you’re late even on the day of your debut song reveal?
It wouldn’t be strange for the speakers of the phone to explode at the agitated screeching of Chief Kim Miyoung. It sounded like she wasn’t able to resist her anger and was nitpicking even while losing control of her emotions.
“We’re sorry.”
ー Run.
“Yes, sorry.”
After multiple repeated apologies, Seo Yoon-hyung hung up on the call with the chief and smiled bashfully, baffled from the interaction. Seo Yoon-hyung scratched his cheek as he spoke to the members.
“Guys, we’re already three minutes late. Better run!”
“Chief’s voice was, like, I legit thought she was doing a Hulk impression.”
“Yes, let’s go.”
“Hey, Lee Suan! Hurry up and come here. We’re late.”
“Ah, yeah. Right.”
Orion and Ryu Sunho, who was making a Hulk joke, ran at the front of the crowd, frantically followed by Seo Yoon-hyung. Before I knew it, I was dragged by Park Jitae, whom I wasn’t even close to, towards the meeting room.
When we opened the meeting room door, Chief Kim Miyoung was leaning into a chair in front of a round table stacked with printed documents, her face scrunched up into a ball.
“”””Hello.””””
“Hello.”
I jumped as the members all bowed their torso that was straight until a second ago and quickly joined them in greeting the chief.
“Honestly, you guys. Hurry over and take a seat.”
Chief Kim Miyoung said, half given-up, as she sighed and knit her brows. The members once again bowed in apology and shuffled along towards the empty chairs.
“Yepp!”
“Yes, sorry.”
“Sorry for being late.”
“Yes.”
“Lee Suan, hurry up and sit.”
As the chief called me over, the members, having already sat down around the table, sent me unspoken signals with their eyes.
Were they trying to tell me to quickly come and sit with them?
“Yes.”
“All right, now that we’re all seated… You see those papers on the table?”
The chief glanced at the table and threw the question at the members.
“”””Yes.””””
Huh? There’s nothing in front of my seat.
When I turned my head to look around, I saw that everybody else each had a bundle of white papers in front of them except for me.
“I don’t have any,”
I said after gazing at the empty spot on the table, carefully raising my hand and looking over at Chief Kim Miyoung.
“You already signed your contract yesterday.”
Doubt settled within me as the chief nonchalantly provided an answer. Even when I tried to retrace my memories, I had no recollection of ever signing contracts together with my group members… This kind of situation could never be understood even when I tried to recall my past.
“Oh, the contract?”
“Yeah, I heard that you already signed your contract yesterday with the president.”
True enough, I remembered something like that happening a very, very long time ago. Why the hell did I decide to sign it separately? But back then, I still never listened to any instructions with the group members in this meeting room.
What in the world had changed? Was this a dream after all?