In this complicated world, there are different types people that are hard to deal with. Some are difficult to the point of irritation, like Yu Zi Fei; some are difficult to the point of wanting to kill like Wang Kai; and some people are difficult to the point that leaves you with hopelessness, like Xue Yun Feng.
It all started with the ‘not so peaceful’ Christmas.
Talking about December 25th, everybody else celebrates Christmas while Jiang Li celebrates his birthday, which is actually quite unique. I wondered that Jiang Li is probably going to have a romantic dinner with his beauty, Xue Yun Feng, for the sake of his eyes I told him that I have some errands to run and would be returning home late, he expressed his skepticism and couldn’t care less about me. Right after work, I followed Wang Kai and ‘rubbed’ a meal off him, afterward I got in his car and went to the pub looking for fun.
Anyhow, Christmas is a holiday, the atmosphere in the pub is quite different, there are some interesting shows going on. The festive atmosphere in the pub was overwhelming, we were all in the craze, submerged in noise, but I guess this is a way for urban men and women vent their pressure in life.
It was already 11 at night when I came out of the pub, the moment I stepped out of the door, my phone rang. I took it out and it’s the ghostly Xue Yun Feng.
I picked up the call, the intermittent sobbing sound came from the other end, along with the sound of gulping water. I felt it was strange, only after several ‘hellos,’ Xue Yun Feng responded. He called out “Guan Xiao Yan,” then it was again sobbing cries. I could smell the alcohol on him through the phone, this guy is probably drunk.
Although I am not exactly the nicest person in this world, I do have a soft heart, especially with such a cute Shota crying to me, my little heart couldn’t stand it anymore. I spoke with worry, “What happened? Did Jiang Li bully you?”
The moment I mentioned Jiang Li’s name, he cried louder, he cried as he shouted Jiang Li’s name.
I pinched myself, covering the phone and said to Wang Kai, “You can go first, I got something to take care of.”
Wang Kai stood with no intention to move. “Where are you going this late? Do you need me to protect you?”
I thought about Xue Yun Feng’s physique. Maybe he can win a fight with me, but considering that he’s already drunk, it shouldn’t be hard to deal with. So I waved my hand and said, “It’s alright, I will call you when it’s needed.”
“Alright, remember to call me first when things come up. Oh and,” Wang Kai leaned over, rather mysteriously blinked his eyes, “Don’t get on random men’s car.”
Wtf haven’t you had enough. I rolled my eyes at him and left.
It was too cold outside, I quickly went inside a fast food restaurant and called the drunkard, “Xue Yun Feng, where are you?”
Xue Yun Feng whined and said with stutters, “Mi….Mind your….own…bus…business…..”
The hell? If you didn’t harass me with your calls I couldn’t care less about you, it’s none of my freaking business! I have the urge to hang on him, but after some thought I realize that he isn’t a bad kid, besides there are some nepticisms going on between us (if your husband’s lover can be counted as nepticism), so I coaxed him patiently, “Tell me where you are, I will bring Jiang Li to you with an apology.”
Xue Yun Feng, “You…..Jiang Li…..”
Me, “Say it, where are you, Jiang Li is getting paranoid from waiting!”
Xue Yun Feng’s voice lowered, I vaguely heard him talking to the waiter, “Tell her, wh
ere I am.”
I was stunned, this dude is so drunk that he doesn’t know where he is.
……
When I arrived at Y pub, Xue Yun Feng poured and served himself, treating alcohol as water. I ran towards him and grabbed him by the arm. I said, “Stop drinking, come home with me!!”
Xue Yun Feng won’t budge. He shook me off and frowned with impatience, “Go away!”
Not mad. Not angered. Not triggered…. Fuck, I AM PISSED!
I took the glass in front of him and drank it clean, I wiped my mouth, “Xue Yun Feng if you keep drinking Jiang Li is going to leave you!”
Xue Yun Feng froze for a second, then he leaned against a bar and cried. As he sob he whimpered, “Jiang….Jiang Li doesn’t want me anymore….wuwu….”
I was scared by him for a moment, drunkards are for sure the most difficult ones to deal with. So I coaxed him as if he were my son and patted his back, my gentle voice with the glow of motherhood, “Good boy, Jiang Li said if you would go home behaving yourself then he won’t leave you.”
Xue Yun Feng looked up to me with his big eyes, “For real?” That pair of drunken eyes with tears still hanging. Looking at his face with flowery tears pouring down, I can’t pity him more than I do now.
So I hold the urge to take a bite of his face and said promisingly, “Yes, for real….now go home.” Looking back at the times that I was with Jiang Li, I figured that I have learned nothing but improved my acting skills.
Xue Yun Feng nodded his head obediently, “Alright, let’s go home.”
I held onto the shaky Xue Yun Feng, walked out the bar crookedly and took a taxi. Thankfully Xue Yun Feng isn’t completely drunk, he still knows where he lived.
The moment that I got on the taxi, Jiang Li called. I pressed ‘Accept,’ Jiang Li angry roar came through immediately, “Guan Xiao Yan where the hell have you been? Why aren’t you home yet!!”
I looked at Xue Yun Feng, who is now laying aside. There are grudges and anger building up inside me, I yelled back, “Where I am has nothing to do with you!” I was trying take care of your boyfriend, isn’t it strange that I am always the one taking care of YOUR boyfriend?!
After my roar Jiang Li calmed down. After some silence, he said with disappointment, “Today is my birthday.”
I’m in confusion, “Didn’t I already gave you a present yesterday?” Although that was a huge fail.
Jiang Li was triggered, “Not going do anything for my birthday? You think giving me an underdeveloped vase takes care of it?”
I highly doubt that the word ‘underdeveloped’ is meant to accuse me, but there is nothing I can do to him. So I hold my anger in and said, “Then what do you want?”
Jiang Li, “You know what, forget it, it’s now already 11:55, just sing me a Birthday Song.”
Me, “Jiang Li are you drunk also?” Only under stances where he’s drunk he would do and say silly things like this.
Jiang Li said in a cold voice, “Are you singing or not? If not, let me think how should I deal with you……”
“Okay, fine. I’ll sing, I’ll sing alright?” I give up!
So in the dark and compartmented car, a soul-stirring birthday song began, in both Chinese and English. I can see from the rearview mirror the painful face that the taxi driver is bearing, and I said with sympathy, “You can laugh if you want, I have pretty a thick face.”
The driver burst in laughter.
After listening to me sing, Jiang Li said, “Interesting, I have seen people who goes off tune occasionally, but it’s the first time seeing a person who is occasionally on tune.” Paused, then he continued, “Especially with the Birthday Song, won’t ever see this in a hundred years.”
WTF? What do you mean!!!
Jiang Li didn’t feel my dissatisfaction, he said, “Actually today, you should’ve be with me.”
I was a little confused, “Why?” Unless you want me and your little boyfriend to have a threesome? Oh my my, I’m a normal person okay?!
Jiang Li didn’t answer, but switched the topic immediately, “Are you still coming back tonight?”
I wasn’t following his logic. “Ah! Uh, probably….”
Jiang Li, “Who are you with?”
I didn’t hide, “Your boyfriend of course, so dead drunk……I heard, you guys fought?”
Jiang Li, “Drunk? Good, good time for some drunken mistakes to happen.”
I laugh, “Then get over here, take this opportunity and ‘eat’ him, such a pretty Shota must be delicious.”
Jiang Li seems to be angered again, “It’s our business, no need for you to step in.”
Me, “I couldn’t have cared less.”
Jiang Li, “Come back after sending him home, don’t have extra thoughts on him.”
I laugh. He actually cares about Xue Yun Feng. Why do they have to fight? So I comforted him and said, “How many times have I told you already, I’m not interested in gays.”
Jiang Li didn’t say anything. I added, “The only thing is that this dude make me feel like a mom.”
Jiang Li snickered, “You wanna be a mom now? I don’t mind helping you with it.”
我：“去死吧你！”
Me, “Just go die!!!”
Jiang Li chuckled and said, “Where are you, I will go pick you up later.”
Jiang Li’s sudden friendliness didn’t make me feel quite right, so I said, “No need, he lives in the city, calling a taxi is quite convenient.”
Jiang Li, “No, what if you meet a driver with a weird sense of beauty, and attempts to molest you?
The fuck? Just say molest, why do you have to mention the weird sense of beauty part? Could it have killed you to not torment me?
Jiang Li, “An hour after, I will wait for you downstairs of his apartment.”
Me, “Jiang Li tell me the truth, what do you want?” I don’t believe that he has good intentions.
Jiang Li, “If you really want to do something for me, then come back and cook me something…. I want to eat Longevity noodles, the ones where one strand of noodle make up the whole thing.”
Me, “I knew that you didn’t bear a good heart.” Those things look easy but they are actually really complicated okay!?
Jiang Li, “Not behaving? There are some serious consequences after that…..”
Me, “Fine, fine, fine, I’ll do it. You are shameless!”
Jiang Li laughed with pleasure. I hung up the phone in immediate anger.
……
Xue Yun Feng lived close to his workplace, probably for the convenience of work so he rented it. I carried him up the stairs, found the keys from his pocket, open the door, find the bedroom, threw him onto the bed, took his shoes off, and finally, put a blanket on him.
Finally, done, I’m relieved. I wiped off the sweat on my head, grabbed my purse and walked out the bedroom. Upon opening the doors, a clear voice behind me said, “Are you leaving?”
I was startled by him and turned around. Only saw Xue Yun Feng leaning against the bed sideways, half lying. Clear and bright eyes with no sign of being drunk.
I looked at him with horror, shocked to the point that I was stuttering, “You..you..you…aren’t you drunk?”
Xue Yun Feng’s face dimmed, answered, “I just wanted to be drunk。”
Jesus Christ, so you are saying that you faked the whole thing? Pretending to be drunk so I can carry you back stupidly? Thinking about it made me furious, so I ran towards the bed, leaning towards him, choking him by the neck and shook him around, as I shook him I said, “How dare are you? Do you know how much effort and energy is wasted just by taking care of a drunkard?”
Under my claws, Xue Yun Feng‘s body is swinging like a puppet, he didn’t fight back, but his eyes looked down and said, “What can I do. I can’t be drunk, so I had to fake it.”
I stopped and looked at him with pity. I was reminded of the times when Yu Zi Fei left me, I was always drunk at night, but due to my special physique I was almost immune to alcohol, so I would always drink a lot and fool around with a sharp mind…..Now thinking back, I was indeed stupid, who couldn’t survive when someone left them?
I shook off my memories, patted Xue Yun Feng’s head, smiling, “Good boy, don’t binge on alcohol, it’s bad.”
Xue Yun Feng swung my hand away, unsatisfied, “I’m not a kid!”
I laugh, “I’m my eyes, you are a kid…..how about this, will you be my nominal son?”
“You……” Xue Yun Feng stared at me with his fierce eyes, lips trembling with anger, but no word came out of him.
The look on his face triggered my laughter, I pinched his cheek and said, “Shota, you are so cute.”
Xue Yun Feng turns his face around, not responding to me at all.
I took my purse and patted his head, “Good boy, get some nice sleep, this sister is leaving.”
Xue Yun Feng grabbed me by the hands. “Can…can you stay here with me?”
I looked back at his watery eyes, suddenly all of my defense went down. So I sat by his bed, smiled with charmed and said, “Handsome guy, you need a company?”
Xue Yun Feng’s face turned red immediately, I have just realized how fun it is to tease a young and cut Shota, hahaha.
Xue Yun Feng skimmed through my gloating looks, lowered his head and said softly, “You look like you are enjoying yourself…… If I told you that Jiang Li is breaking up with me, would you be happier?”