Published at 4th of November 2020 12:45:27 PM
Chapter 72
translator: baumkuchen
After a few rounds of mahjong, it was just about time for lunch . Shaohao said that he had already booked a private booth, and invited the several people there to come with him .
Lu Qingjiu was very interested in the food that Shaohao and his kind would usually eat, so he didn’t refuse . However, Shaohao led them straight out of the bird park, returning to the human world, then invited them onto his car and drove them to a very stylish restaurant in the city .
Sitting in the car, Lu Qingjiu was struck dumb . “You’re not eating at home?”
Shaohao said, “I can’t cook . I rarely use the kitchen at home . ”
Lu Qingjiu was a little shocked . “Then you eat out everyday?” Even though the food outside was delicious, you’d get sick of it, eating it every day .
Shaohao said, “It’s not every day, just most of the time . If I think it’s too troublesome, I’ll eat with the birds . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “Then what do the birds eat?”
Shaohao smiled, “They eat everything . ” As he spoke, he shot a meaningful look at Yin Xun, making Yin Xun, sitting next to him, involuntarily shrink his neck, wanting to reduce his presence . Shaohao looked away, continuing, “Such as ripe fruits, or some small mammals . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “Eaten raw?”
Shaohao nodded .
On the inside, Lu Qingjiu sighed that this White Emperor was too hardcore .
When the few of them reached the restaurant, Shaohao parked the car, then led them inside . He was clearly a frequent customer of this place . Even the service stuff at the entrance would fawningly call him Mister Bai .
This place was called the ten thousand birds pavilion . Lu Qingjiu had never been here before, but he’d heard that it was a members-only restaurant . Even if ordinary people wanted to eat here, they wouldn’t be able to, they had to be introduced by a member . Given Shaohao’s identity, Lu Qingjiu suspected that the owner of this restaurant was Shaohao himself .
The food had been ordered in advance . After the group sat down, they began serving . However, just as Shaohao sat down, his expression became a little off . Lu Qingjiu was just about to ask what was wrong when he saw him stand up, and say hurriedly, “I’m going to the toilet . ” Then, he turned and left, actually cutting quite the sorry figure as he left .
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“What did you do just now?” Lu Qingjiu asked .
Yin Xun said, “No…… nothing . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “Then why does he have diarrhea?”
Yin Xun pretended to be calm . “Maybe because his body is weak?”
Lu Qingjiu would be an idiot to believe him . He observed his best friend’s expression, and determined that he was hiding something . “Tell me honestly, just now, when you and Shaohao went for a walk around the place, did you cook something for him to eat?” He had a very deep impression of Yin Xun’s cooking . After eating it, you’d have diarrhea for a day, there was nothing ambiguous about it . Fortunately, this place’s restrooms had proper toilet bowls, otherwise by the end of it you’d feel like you’d be better off just amputating your legs .
“No,” Yin Xun said, “What would I cook for him for?”
Lu Qingjiu, “Really?”
Yin Xun, “Really . ” He fixed his gaze on the sumptuous dishes in front of him, and swallowed .
Seeing Yin Xun answer so firmly, Lu Qingjiu didn’t continue to ask him anything else . He clearly wouldn’t be able to think of the truth, that Yin Xun indeed hadn’t made anything for Shaohao to eat, he’d just fearfully chopped off a piece of himself for the other to try . Of course, with such a big piece, the effect would naturally be especially good . Shaohao might have to live in the toilet for the next few days .
Shaohao’s living in the toilet, however, didn’t affect their desire for delicious food . It had to be said, these dishes indeed had a taste that lived up to their high price . All the dishes were made with exquisite workmanship . Unlike with home-made dishes, each step of making these dishes was done using the best method found from careful refinement . Just take the “Steamed Chinese Cabbage in Supreme Soup” in front of him as an example, the soup was clear, the taste delicious, and the cabbage fresh and sweet . From a taste you could tell if this was some ordinary product . Even though Lu Qingjiu had some idea of how to make this dish, he’d never tried it before as it was far too cumbersome . For this tiny bowl of clear soup stock, he’d need to go through at least XX steps of complicated processing and boiling to be able to make it .
Bai Yuehu and Yin Xun ate very happily, completely forgetting about their host who had treated them to this meal . Lu Qingjiu actually still had a hint of a conscience left, after he was about done eating, he made a trip to the toilet and considerately asked Shaohao if he needed any more toilet paper .
Shaohao squeezed out a “no need thank you” from between gritted teeth .
“Did you eat something wrong?” Lu Qingjiu, seeing how terrible his situation was, couldn’t help but feel a bit of pity . “Do you need me to help you buy some medicine?”
“No need,” Shaohao said, “Ordinary medicines won’t have any effect on me . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “Oh…… Then we’re just about done eating, see……”
Shaohao, “……I’ve already paid the bill . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “That’s great, thank you for your hospitality . ”
Shaohao, “……” He just knew it . He had even wondered, he’d been in here for so long already, why had Lu Qingjiu suddenly come over to ask after him . So it turned out that he was about done eating, and had been worried that he hadn’t yet paid . Shaohao, sitting on the toilet bowl, let out a deep sigh, planning on standing up and walking out . In the end, just as he pushed open the door, he felt his stomach twist again, and was forced to sit back down . He placed his hands on his knees in despair, as he carefully thought back to what he’d eaten that day . At the end, he inexplicably thought of the soft texture of Yin Xun’s finger…… Could it be……
Shaohao put his face in his palms, and let out a deep sigh .
Yin Xun, sitting at the table with a round, bulging belly, suddenly sneezed . He rubbed his nose, muttering about whether he had a cold .
“Mountain gods can still catch colds?” Lu Qingjiu asked .
“Yep,” Yin Xun said, “To tell you the truth, other than that I can be eaten, I don’t think I’m different from an ordinary person in any way . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “……” Put away that proud expression of yours, is being able to be eaten anything worth being proud of?!
Even though at this time, Shaohao was still trapped in the toilet, unable to come out, he was after all the one who had treated them to such an expensive meal . The three of them summed it up for a moment, then entered the toilet together to say goodbye to Shaohao .
“Mister Bai, we’re going back now,” Lu Qingjiu said, “Please come by more often whenever you’re free . ”
Through the cubicle door, Shaohao’s voice sounded a little heavy . “Alright . ”
Yin Xun followed after Lu Qingjiu, saying in a small voice, “We welcome you to come visit . ”
Shaohao, “I’ll definitely come . ” These three words clearly sounded like he was gnashing his teeth as his said them, making it so that Yin Xun couldn’t help but shrink back his neck upon hearing them .
The three, having eaten their fill, left satisfied . Then, they took the car back to Shaohao’s mansion, and happily drove the pickup truck back home . It was just that Shaohao’s butler was a little confused, clearly not understanding why the guests had come back, but his master was nowhere to be seen .
Having seen the beautiful bird park, as well as having had a big meal, Lu Qingjiu was in a very good mood . After taking a nap, he got out of bed, planning on kneading some dough and steaming some steamed stuffed buns, steamed twisted bread rolls and other such food for dinner . But when he went to check their ingredients, Lu Qingjiu found that they’d used up all the spring onions in the house .
At this time, Bai Yuehu was also in the courtyard taking a nap . Lu Qingjiu thought that the fields weren’t far away, and hence didn’t disturb him, planning to go to the fields himself to pick some .
Spring onions were a commonly used ingredient, being able to be used in any dish, so they used them up very quickly . Fortunately, they had quite a lot planted in their field, so when they wanted to eat them they just needed to take some scissors and cut off some, getting them incredibly fresh .
As he walked down the path, Lu Qingjiu thought about simply transplanting the spring onions into their courtyard like the leaks, making it more convenient to pick them .
Today’s weather was still very fine, very bright and sunny . This kind of weather was very comfortable for ordinary people, but wasn’t at all a good thing for farmers who depended on the weather to eat . If there was too little rain, the crops in the fields would grow slower, and they would have to carry water to the fields for irrigation every day, or else it would affect the harvest .
It had been spring for several months now, but had only rained three or four times . If not for them having Bai Yuehu, Lu Qingjiu would probably also have to worry about the crops in the field . The water they used for irrigation here had to be brought over from a far away reservoir . If the water level in the reservoir was too low, they would need to look for another water source, but in the ten li radius around Shuifu village, there was only this one little stream, he didn’t know where they could get one from . Before, Lu Qingjiu hadn’t farmed anything before, and hadn’t known about this . Only after hearing the old Li family next door sighing about this had he understood the important of the spring rain to farmers .
When Lu Qingjiu came back to his senses, he found that he’d thought for too long, he had already reached the fields, and could see a row of lovely spring onions .
These spring onions were a lot more fragrant than those you could buy in the market, especially when used to make tofu with spring onion . The tofu was also made at home, full of flavour, when cut into pieces and paired together with spring onion, and mixed in with some sesame oil and salt, it was both refreshing and delicious .
Lu Qingjiu pulled out his scissors, bent down and cut off a bunch of spring onions . He then chose a ripened pumpkin, pulled out two heads of cabbage, and picked some gorgeous red peppers, all of which he put in the bamboo basket on his back, and then began to slowly make his way home .
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Every time he came to the fields, Lu Qingjiu was always shocked by Bai Yuehu’s talent at farming . This neat little patch of green seedlings, within it mixed red chili peppers, and yellow pumpkin, was both neat and beautiful . At first glance, it looked like a flower garden .
Their family’s pumpkins were a little big . Lu Qingjiu had purposely picked a small one this time . This one pumpkin could be used to make two meals . If he had time this afternoon, he could make some pumpkin pastries with bean filling to satisfy his craving .
As Lu Qingjiu walked on forwards, he noticed a black object placed in the middle of the path . On closer inspection, he found it was a black umbrella, quietly lying on the path .
Whose umbrella was this? Lu Qingjiu stopped . That umbrella was right before him, he would be able to pick it up if he just were to bend down . The umbrella looked very ordinary, like the kind you could buy in the market . Lu Qingjiu was originally going to just casually pick it up, and ask around to see who in the village had lost it, but before he could reach out his hand, he noticed a detail on the umbrella .
This umbrella was wet, still with traces of rain on its surface . It hadn’t rained for almost a week in Shuifu, who would be bringing an umbrella out with them right now? Lu Qingjiu had a bad feeling . Thinking of the Rain Master’s Concubine, he slowly retreated a step, and walked to the side to avoid this strange-seeming umbrella .
After Lu Qingjiu walked a distance away, he looked back, but saw that umbrella just obediently lying there, seeming to have no reaction whatsoever . Inwardly, he let out a sigh of relief . Just as he was thinking that he might have been overly sensitive because he’d seen too much of such things, he saw that black umbrella slowly, slowly, lift off the ground, as if there was someone holding it . Then, with a swish, the umbrella opened . Lu Qingjiu clearly saw, inside the umbrella, hung countless eyeballs, hanging from blood red optic nerves, their black pupils staring straight at Lu Qingjiu .
“Ah!!” Lu Qingjiu was scared into screaming . With quick reflexes, he threw the basket to the side and ran away .
From behind him came a strange noise . Lu Qingjiu looked back and found that the black umbrella was rolling towards him like a wheel . The nerves pasted to the interior of the umbrella formed a circle with the umbrella’s rolling .
“Bai Yuehu, Bai Yuehu! Help, help!” Faced with the desire to survive, Lu Qingjiu ran even faster than a rabbit . Fortunately, their field was very close to their home . Lu Qingjiu ran the 100 metre sprint to the entrance of his home, then rushed, gasping into the courtyard . Only when he saw Bai Yuehu did his heart finally calm down .
“What’s wrong?” Bai Yuehu asked upon seeing Lu Qingjiu so out of breath .
“I saw an umbrella by the roadside——” Lu Qingjiu forced out, “Inside the umbrella were entirely eyes . It even chased after me . ”
Bai Yuehu said, “Eyes?” He considered it for a moment . Seeming to have thought of something, he frowned . “Where?”
Lu Qingjiu, “Right outside . ”
Bai Yuehu got up and walked over to the door, but didn’t see anything . There was neither the umbrella nor the eyes Lu Qingjiu spoke of on the empty village path .
Lu Qingjiu stood behind Bai Yuehu and stuck out his head . “How did it disappear?”
Bai Yuehu turned to look at Lu Qingjiu, “Want to go out to take a look?”
Lu Qingjiu, “Let’s go…… and take a look . The vegetables I just picked are still on the path after all . ”
Bai Yuehu strode out of the courtyard . However, what Lu Qingjiu couldn’t understand was, the black umbrella that had been chasing after him had disappeared, and not only that, the vegetable basket he had thrown to the side had disappeared as well .
“It’s gone,” Lu Qingjiu said, “What was that thing?”
Bai Yuehu shook his head . “I don’t know . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “What did it chase me for?”
Bai Yuehu sighed, “It chasing you could never be a good thing . ”
That was true, looking at that umbrella’s terrifying appearance, no matter how he looked at it, it couldn’t be anything good . Even though the umbrella was gone now, Lu Qingjiu still had some lingering fear .
Bai Yuehu said, “You should go back to the courtyard, I’ll pick the vegetables . What do you need?”
Lu Qingjiu said, “I’d better go back with you . ” He didn’t want to see that thing again on the way back .
After picking the vegetables once more, the two headed back home . The entire way back, Lu Qingjiu kept an eye on his surroundings, but clearly, that thing didn’t want to run into Bai Yuehu . All the way until they entered the courtyard, Lu Qingjiu still didn’t see that thing again .
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“Gbc’a ub bea obg atf cfza ofk vjsr . ” Coafg ufaalcu tbwf, Djl Tefte egufv Oe Hlcuple .
Oe Hlcuple cbvvfv, jmdelfrmlcu ab Djl Tefte’r egulcu . Lf vlvc’a tjnf Djl Tefte’r bnfgqbkfglcu mbwyja jylilalfr . Po tf gfjiis vlv gec lcab rbwf ragjcuf atlcur, gecclcu kjr tlr bcis kjs bo regnlnlcu .
In the afternoon, Yin Xun also heard about what Lu Qingjiu ran into . He was a little worried, but still comforted Lu Qingjiu, saying that with Bai Yuehu around, he would definitely be fine .
Lu Qingjiu smiled and said, “I know, I’m just curious about what exactly it was, and what the eyeballs inside were . ”
Yin Xun said, “No matter what, it definitely won’t taste good . ”
Hearing this, the corners of Bai Yuehu’s mouth twitched .
With nothing to do that afternoon, Lu Qingjiu steamed the pumpkin he had brought back, then took out the salted duck eggs he’d prepared in winter, planning on making pumpkin egg yolk pastries . Yin Xun was next to him, helping him knead the dough, kneading the pumpkin and the dough together . The method of making the pastry part was rather complicated . The number of times it was folded and the amount of heat was key . This was Lu Qingjiu’s first time making it, so the pastry he ended up making was a little thick, but it was fortunately still crispy enough . With one bite, the fats in the egg yolk would ooze out . Paired with the tasty bean paste, it tasted deliciously salty .
Yin Xun and Bai Yuehu were always very enthusiastic about these kinds of little desserts . As the three ate the delicious sweets, they quickly forgot about the unhappiness of that morning .
Lu Qingjiu had originally planned on going to town the next day to buy some lemons and passion fruits to make lemon chicken feet, but because of the matter that had just happened, he had no choice but to delay those plans . After he told Bai Yuehu about it, Bai Yuehu thought for a moment, then said that he’d go to town to help Lu Qingjiu buy them, Lu Qingjiu could just stay at home .
Lu Qingjiu trusted Bai Yuehu very much . After watching him get onto the pickup truck, only then did he return to the courtyard .
Yin Xun had just eaten a lot of egg yolk pastries . Right now, he was sitting in the courtyard to rest . Lu Qingjiu looked up at the sky, and found that the still-sunny sky of that morning was currently covered in dark clouds . It looked like it was about to rain .
The spring rain was as valuable as oil . This was the heavy rain that everyone had been waiting for for a long time now .
Lu Qingjiu put the things he had been drying in the courtyard away . Taking advantage of the fine spring weather, he’d bought a few cowpeas, kelp, and other such things, planning on storing them after sun-drying them . As long as you kept such things well, they could be kept for a very long time . They would be really useful for making soup in the winter .
This season, the tangerines had also matured . Lu Qingjiu bought a few to eat at home, and after eating them, he left out the peel to dry . It could be used to make dried tangerine peels . The dried tangerine peels could be used to flavour water, and could also be used as a spice . Just by placing a bit in the food, he could get rid of most of the fishy smell and greasiness .
Just as Lu Qingjiu was about done putting everything away, the rain began to fall .
Unlike the intense rains of summer, the spring rain was as soft as silk . Even the sound it made was soft . As it gradually fell on the ground, it made a slight pattering noise .
The air began to fill with the smell of dirt . Lu Qingjiu and Yin Xun sat in the house, watching the rain outside and chatting .
“Did Bai Yuehu bring an umbrella?” Lu Qingjiu thought of something .
“Doesn’t he not need an umbrella?” Yin Xun said .
“No,” Lu Qingjiu said, “He’s buying stuff in town, so he can’t just repel the rain like last time . ” If it were to be seen by humans, Bai Yuehu might end up surrounded by spectators .
“Ai, that’s true . ” Yin Xun hadn’t thought of that . He rubbed the back of his head . “But the rain is light, it won’t be a big deal if he gets rained on . ”
Lu Qingjiu didn’t speak, simply getting up and going to the bathroom to get a dry towel . He placed it on the table, thinking that when Bai Yuehu came back, he’d give it to him to dry his hair .
The rain gradually grew heavier, and the dry dirt became dark with dampness . In dips in the ground, formed puddles . Lu Qingjiu suddenly thought of something . “Hey did we forget to cover the beehive in the inner courtyard with an oiled cloth?” Before, in order to clean it, he’d taken off the oiled cloth on top of the beehive to wash it . In the end, he’d forgotten to hang it back up . Now, it was raining, and the wooden beehive would easily become wet .
“I’ll go,” Yin Xun said, “Is the oiled cloth in the kitchen?”
“En,” Lu Qingjiu said, “Take out a grid of honey while you’re at it, I’ll use it to make cake tomorrow . ”
Yin Xun nodded . He casually grabbed an umbrella and left . Lu Qingjiu was still thinking about if there was anything he’d forgotten to put away, when he heard a miserable screech from Yin Xun .
Lu Qingjiu’s heart jolted in shock . He called out, “Yin Xun!” He didn’t even bother to grab an umbrella, rushing straight over to the inner courtyard, grabbing a wooden plank he’d placed in the corner as he did so as a weapon for self-defense .
“Ah ah ah——” Yin Xun was still screeching miserably .
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When Lu Qingjiu arrived at the inner courtyard and saw Yin Xun, he sucked in a cold breath . He saw Yin Xun’s head had actually been enveloped by a black umbrella . That umbrella was as if it was alive, keeping Yin Xun’s head completely enveloped within it . No matter how Yin Xun struggled, he had no way of getting out .
Lu Qingjiu put down the plank and began to try to help Yin Xun tear off the black umbrella, but no matter how hard he tried, that black umbrella remained firmly stuck to Yin Xun’s head . In the beginning, Yin Xun struggled vigorously, but afterwards, his movements gradually became smaller, as if he’d lost his strength .
Lu Qingjiu was so panicked he was going crazy . He rushed over to the kitchen and grabbed some scissors, but found that this umbrella couldn’t be pierced by the scissors .
“Yin Xun, Yin Xun, hold on, I’ll call Bai Yuehu right away, hold on a little longer . ” Lu Qingjiu’s entire face was damp . It wasn’t clear whether it was from the rain or his panicked sweating .
“Wait a minute,” Yin Xun’s muffled voice could be heard from inside the umbrella, “I just realised that this thing doesn’t seem to be doing anything to me . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “……Huh?”
Yin Xun said, “Other than not being able to see . ” He reflexively wanted to scratch his head, but his fingers met the surface of the black umbrella . “Anyways, I don’t need to breathe . It seems like there isn’t any problem with being wrapped up like this . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “……You’re really alright?”
Yin Xun stood up from the ground . “I’m really fine . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “But can’t you not see now?”
Yin Xun, “I’m at least a mountain god . Actually, as long as I want to, I can see even without my eyes . It’s just that I don’t usually like to use this ability, after all, I tend to see a few things I shouldn’t . ”
Lu Qingjiu, “Then are you feeling anything else?”
Yin Xun, “……Feeling? There isn’t any feeling . ” It wasn’t painful or itchy .
Lu Qingjiu breathed in a deep breath . “Then why were you shouting like a fucking chicken being slaughtered?”
Yin Xun was embarrassed . “Isn’t it because I was shocked . ” He then firmed up again . “If your head was suddenly covered by this thing, wouldn’t you cry out?”
Lu Qingjiu thought I wouldn’t have the opportunity to cry out, after all, after at most two minutes I’ll have suffocated to death .
Yin Xun said, “So now what do we do? Do we just let it stay on my head?”
Lu Qingjiu sighed . “Make do for a while . After Bai Yuehu gets back, have him help take it off for you . ”
Yin Xun said, “Alright . It’s still raining, you should go back inside first, I’ll place the oiled cloth over the beehive . ”
Lu Qingjiu said, “No, let’s go in together . ”
His heart really couldn’t take any more shocks .
Yin Xun neatly covered the beehive with the oiled cloth, proving that he could indeed see . After getting the beehive in order, only then did he and Lu Qingjiu go back into the house together . Lu Qingjiu picked up the towel and wiped his face, then looked at Yin Xun, whose head had turned into an umbrella .
Yin Xun, “What are you looking at me for? Does this umbrella look good?”
Lu Qingjiu, “……” Friend, why is the thing you focus on always so strange .
After Bai Yuehu finished buying everything, the moment he stepped into the home, his expression stiffened . He looked at Lu Qingjiu, then looked at the umbrellheaded person next to him .
Lu Qingjiu seemingly knew what Bai Yuehu was thinking . He introduced, “This is Yin Xun . ”
Bai Yuehu, “……What’s going on? Water got into his head so you put an umbrella over it?”
Lu Qingjiu, “……”
Yin Xun, “……”
Bai Yuehu, you really are a talent .