Mo Qian’er had been like that. She was scared and wanted to resist, but she never had the courage, and could only beg for mercy.
It made him never want to let her go.
“I told you not to leave the western courtyard, but you disobeyed me. What do you think I should do with you?” Lu Fenying smiled forbiddingly.
“I’m here to deliver the pill…” Qian’er bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes.
She was really useless! She didn’t have Gu Bailu’s fearlessness, and couldn’t defy Lu Fenying when she was in front of him.
She hated herself for being such a coward.
“I’ll have someone fetch the pill when it’s ready. Did I tell you to deliver it? The main courtyard is a forbidden area. Why did you trespass here?” Lu Fenying squeezed her chin even harder, and it felt like it would shatter.
But Qian’er didn’t feel any pain. All she felt was how much she hated herself.
She closed her eyes as tears ran down her face.
Was there really no hope for her?
She couldn’t stand straight under the pressure from Lu Fenying as her legs trembled – she was scared. She was scared of Lu Fenying and she hated herself.
She didn’t know how to drive the fear away. She didn’t even dare hate Fenying, and could only hate herself.
Lu Fenying let go of her, and Qian’er fell to the floor. Biting her lip hard, she took out a silver needle and stabbed it into her palm.
This is your punishment for being useless, for being a coward, for lacking the courage to resist!
You deserve to be despised and taken advantage of! You deserve to live like an insignificant speck of dust!
She stabbed her hand with the silver needle as if she was crazy, until her entire hand dripped with blood.
Lu Fenying looked down at her suspiciously. “What are you doing?”
Qian’er, however, didn’t hear him at all. She simply kept stabbing her hand through the blood.
This was how she resolved the fear in her heart and her hatred for herself. She had consoled herself like this countless times after waking up from her nightmares.
Lu Fenying bent down and grabbed her hand. “I asked you what you’re doing!”
Petrified, Qian’er looked at him as if he was a demon, and shrunk away from him. “Stay away, stay away, please let me go.”
Lu Fenying frowned. There seemed to be a heavy weight in his heart which was making it hard for him to breathe.
He didn’t know where this weight came from. He was puzzled. Was he really so frightening?
He grabbed Qian’er, stood up, and threw her onto the couch, before he picked up a medical box from a nearby shelf.
Drowning in fear, Qian’er curled in on herself and didn’t look at him as she continued to shout, “Please let me go! Please let me go! Don’t show up in my dreams anymore…”
Red Wolf said from the side, “Your Highness, is she suffering from trauma?”
Lu Fenying’s expression was dark as he grabbed Qian’er’s hand; it was already badly mangled through and through.
He wiped off the blood on her hand with a piece of cloth, and realized that the hand was full of small holes, many of which were old injuries.
“Go fetch her master,” Lu Fenying ordered.
Red Wolf accepted the order and left.
Lu Fenying wanted to treat Qian’er, but she pulled her hand back. “Don’t… Don’t hurt me anymore…”
“I’m treating you. How will you be able to make pills when your hand is like this?” If this hand was injured and the young Daoist nun couldn’t make a pill tomorrow, Muwei would have to suffer one more day.