Chapter 547 - Awakening
What was a feeling? A wave of knowledge filled him and soon, Luo Yuan got the answer.
From a psychological perspective, feelings resulted from the strong mental reaction to external stimuli where actions were revealed unintentionally. Showing great concern for person or thing and emotions of love and hate was a unique way of expressing oneself to the objective reality. It was the human attitude towards an objective matter whether it fulfilled one's personal requirement.
On the other hand, from a biological perspective, it was a biofeedback where a person would choose situations that would give one an advantage, avoiding those which put one at a disadvantage. It was an electrochemical reaction where the secretion of hormones was taken into consideration.
However, no matter how well he could understand the definition of feelings, Luo Yuan found out that he could not feel it at all.
He had no feeling of dislike or hatred. Even now that the Glassian was coming, he felt nothing special about it and not even a tinge of emotion he had.
Aside from his urge to destroy, he had no other feelings. However, it was not a feeling of hatred but a person's instinct when the danger was near. It was like when a goat provoked a tiger the tiger would have a strong killing intent.
He could no longer feel the feeling of love, friendship, and family. He would feel bothered and it was a waste of time to him when his woman visited him. He was being impatient. He hated to interact with people, regardless of who the person was.
The conversation between them was only a few bytes per second. It was indeed hardly tolerable to Luo Yuan who could handle hundred million megabytes of messages.
However, as he thought of it repeatedly, he realized that nothing was wrong. Feeling was an unnecessary emotion and it could even be a burden to him who was seeking for improvement in his ability.
As his brain had a strong computational ability, he was being dominated by rationality and his way of thinking tended to be data-oriented. Thus, he would instinctively seek advantage while avoiding those which put him at a disadvantage.
Seeing Luo Yuan did not respond to her even after a long while, Wang Shishi stopped crying and looked at him. She looked disappointed, "Brother Luo, is it that you have nothing to tell me? You really don't mind it, do you?"
As Luo Yuan recovered from his thoughts, he said as he started to get a little impatient, "I think that's all. Huang Jiahui and the rest are stilling waiting for you, it's time to leave!"
Luo Yuan's coldness had caused Wang Shishi's heart to sink and she was chilled to the bone. She had fallen into despair and all of a sudden, she smiled wickedly, "Brother Luo, am I pretty?"
"Of course, you are." Luo Yuan could not understand why and just told her the fact. Despite the perfect humans were now all grown up, Wang Shishi was still the prettiest of them all.
Wang Shishi then took out a stripper clip. The stripper clip was emerald green and it had two sharp clips. It was jade green in color associated with a jade-like texture. It was a weapon that Luo Yuan gave her before the apocalypse which was also her favorite item. She grabbed the stripper clip in hand, looking pitiful and said, "Do you still remember the first time we met? My parents aren't home and I'm alone. I was frightened and hungry. You're the one who gave me food. I'm so burdensome to you but still, you brought me to the Reconstruction Area. Without you, I'd have died."
Nobody knew that when Wang Shishi was at the lowest point of her life, she met Luo Yuan. She was not even 14 years old at that time. Since then, Luo Yuan was everything to her. It grew from the feeling of respect to affection, it was the simplest yet most affectionate love.
When the rest of them had given up on Luo Yuan and were in despair, she still had the passion for him and at the same time, she was the one who could not accept Luo Yuan's coldness the most.
In Luo Yuan's mind, he had predicted what would happen next. However, he remained unaffected and still, seeing everything to happen.
"You're the one who saved my life. Therefore, I'm giving back to you now. I'd like to see would you still remain indifferent even after I die."
Soon, Wang Shishi looked at Luo Yuan unwillingly and pierced the stripper clip through her temples.
The stripper clip was produced from the scaled horn of a high-level creature. It could easily penetrate through her temples. Her life was like firecrackers as it ended beautifully and quickly. The next moment, Wang Shishi's body trembled and fell to the ground.
Luo Yuan remained calm despite he had seen everything. He was not triggered and remained still. He did not stop Wang Shishi who died in front of her.
It seemed like he had lost touch with the world, watching everything to happen coldly from a third-person perspective.
However, he could not stop recalling the scene when she fell to the ground. Countless memories of him and Wang Shishi gushed into his mind.
She was innocent, passionate and being attached to him. Pieces of memories quickly flashed through his mind.
Eventually, sadness took hold in his mind. It was like a spark that was growing rapidly and soon, it occupied his mind. He was upset and unwilling to let her go.
Soon, his sense of alienation from the world gradually subsided. As he recovered from his thoughts, seeing Wang Shishi's body that was getting colder, he sighed while a flicker of humanity flashed through his gaze. The next moment, an immense Will rushed out of his body.
The entire Space City had trembled a little!
His eyes were empty and had lost his focus. The whole world seemed to have become the world of atoms to him. The terrifying computational ability of his brain clearly recorded the changes in all atoms each picosecond. With his memory, he could easily restore the atoms to its original state.
The living hall was shrouded in his tremendously terrifying power. All the atoms were controlled by his Will and the atoms were under reflux.
The next moment, the cold dead body soon regained its temperature. The heart that had stopped soon started beating and it was akin to a video playback. Wang Shishi was standing on the ground and her blood started circulating. Lastly, the stripper clip was being pulled out of her temples inch by inch.
The entire process was like the turning back of time.
"You're the one who saved my life. Therefore, I'm giving back to you now. I'd like to see..." Before Wang Shishi finished her words, "Wait!" Luo Yuan interrupted.
"What do you want to say?" Wang Shishi's hand was trembling. She stopped and asked coldly.
"You asked me would I still remain indifferent even after you've died. My answer is no! Thank you Shishi, it seems like I've understood something!" Luo Yuan said despite his tone was still cold but it somehow sounded different.
"What did you understand?" Wang Shishi's wish to die had subsided.
"It's the meaning of life!" Luo Yuan said after thinking for a while.
Soon, Wang Shishi left and she was inexplicably happy.
After Wang Shishi had left, Luo Yuan instantly appeared at somewhere near the galaxy. He closed his eyes and was lying across the sky. Under the influence of gravitational force, he revolved freely around the galaxy.
He could finally sense that something was wrong.
Luo Yuan was finally awakened to the fact!
He found out that the decision he made each time was not a subjective decision but was based on the results of the analysis. When Wang Shishi was angry and committed suicide, he had analyzed that her death would do no harm to him. Therefore, even if he could easily stop her from committing suicide, he did nothing and allowed everything to happen.
His strong computational ability seemed to have caused him to become the puppet of computation, weakening his consciousness.
All this did not happen suddenly but gradually.
When he just entered the fourth-dimension, despite he was being cold to them but his condition was not that bad yet. He would still mind what people think about him, especially Chen Xinjie. He would be annoyed by his body that was growing bigger in size and would try his best to reduce the size of his body.
However, as time passed, his feelings towards them subsided and soon, he relied on his brain that possessed a strong computational ability to make a decision and was dominated by rationality. He could no longer distinguish between the thought of his objective consciousness and the judgment made based on his rationality. He slowly entered a maze.
Seemingly, nothing was wrong since all the decisions made were right. Humans would lie but data and logic would not. As a matter of fact, it would result in the weakening of one's subjective consciousness.
Ultimately, it was because his Will was still too weak and could no longer dominate his mind which had such a strong computational ability.
His Will had infused with the ocean of data. Over the past three years, there was no improvement in his Will but it had regressed to a certain extent. Previously, he was lost in thought and could not figure out the reason behind this. Right this moment, he was finally awakened to the fact.
His Will was neither cold nor ruthless. It was the persistence of his subjective consciousness and the way where it expressed oneself.
Without the subjective consciousness, life would be a machine with computational logic. Regardless of one's strength and omniscience, one would only be a low-level creature that was seeking for advantages while avoiding the disadvantages. One would have lost the meaning of life.