'Your jokes really are crap,' said Ethan. 'We were almost killed.'
They were both silent for a moment, thinking about that.
'I keep getting flashbacks,' he went on. 'To those x-rays who walked into the Claymores on the beach. That guy we were fighting when Sam appeared and shot him. That other guy I kicked off the boat...'
'They knew what they were getting into,' said Johnny. 'Run around with a gun trying to kill people and bad things happen. Besides, if we hadn't helped Sam, who knows where that disk would be now, or just how the information on it might have been used? For all we know, we've saved thousands of lives.'
'Still,' said Ethan, 'it's difficult to get it out of my head.'
'I know, Eth,' Johnny said. 'But you can't just focus on that. You also have to realize that you're brilliant. You've got an instinct for this stuff, a knack of doing the right thing regardless of what's going on. You don't get flustered, you don't panic and you're a natural in the air. This is what you were born to do. Don't you feel it? You're what we need. But we we are also what are also what you you need.' need.'
Ethan looked at Johnny. Deep down, he knew that what his friend was saying was true. He was right for the team. And the team was right for him. He wasn't just good; when it came to skydiving, dealing with danger, staying calm despite everything going to shit around him, he was a natural. He couldn't explain why. He just was. And being on the team made him feel alive and useful and valuable valuable in a way that nothing else in his life ever had. in a way that nothing else in his life ever had.
Johnny said, 'That swoop you did over the boat it was unbelievable. And if you'd missed, I'd probably be dead. We wouldn't be having this conversation. Look,' he went on, 'I'm not going to force you into this. No one is. As always, it's down to you, your decision.'
'I know,' said Ethan.
'But what I will say is that we all want you on the team, including Sam. And that's a big deal.'
For a few moments neither of them said anything.
'Well?' said Johnny at last.
'You said you wouldn't force it.'
'I lied.' Johnny let his trademark grin spread across his face. 'What do you say?'
In spite of everything, Ethan couldn't stop grinning back. 'I'm in,' he said, as he'd known he would. Then his grin became a wide smile. 'Life's too short not to.'
Also by Andy McNab:
BOY SOLDIER (with Robert Rigby)
Boy Soldier
Payback
Avenger
Meltdown
For adults:
Bravo Two Zero
Immediate Action
Seven Troop
Spoken from the Front
Aggressor
Brute Force
Crisis Four
Crossfire
Dark Winter
Deep Black
Firewall
Last Light
Liberation Day
Recoil
Remote Control