THIS LIFE FOREVER.
Back to Lyrics 1, I recorded this for the soundtrack of a film that never got made called I recorded this for the soundtrack of a film that never got made called Black Gangster, Black Gangster, based on the Donald Goines novel. based on the Donald Goines novel.
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2. This song is based on a real moment in my life. It was probably 1994 or 1995, the years before I released This song is based on a real moment in my life. It was probably 1994 or 1995, the years before I released Reasonable Doubt, Reasonable Doubt, before I'd fully made a transition from one life to the next. I was riding in my white Lexus 300, a car that always caught people's eyes when I'd park it outside of shows back then. Everyone at the club might have thought of me as an up-and-coming rapper who didn't even have a deal yet, but the 300 made them think twice about who I really was. before I'd fully made a transition from one life to the next. I was riding in my white Lexus 300, a car that always caught people's eyes when I'd park it outside of shows back then. Everyone at the club might have thought of me as an up-and-coming rapper who didn't even have a deal yet, but the 300 made them think twice about who I really was.3. That day, I was in the car with my nephews, who were teenagers then. I was listening to Donny Hathaway and moving slow, like ten miles an hour, just rolling around Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I was totally sober, but I felt my consciousness shifting. I looked around and suddenly everything was clear: girls younger than my nephews pushing babies in strollers, boys working the corners, old women wheeling wobbly shopping carts over cracked sidewalks. It was like a movie unfurling on my windshield with Donny Hathaway on the soundtrack. But it wasn't a movie, it was my world. It fucked me up. That day, I was in the car with my nephews, who were teenagers then. I was listening to Donny Hathaway and moving slow, like ten miles an hour, just rolling around Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I was totally sober, but I felt my consciousness shifting. I looked around and suddenly everything was clear: girls younger than my nephews pushing babies in strollers, boys working the corners, old women wheeling wobbly shopping carts over cracked sidewalks. It was like a movie unfurling on my windshield with Donny Hathaway on the soundtrack. But it wasn't a movie, it was my world. It fucked me up.4. "Spark" has a double meaning: It can refer to lighting up a gun or lighting up a blunt. Either way, it's an attempt to escape the harsh life. "Spark" has a double meaning: It can refer to lighting up a gun or lighting up a blunt. Either way, it's an attempt to escape the harsh life.
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5. The music was like a trapdoor from that claustrophobic life. Working in the streets could make you money, but as long as you were in that game, you were in those streets, connected to that life like you were chained. The music was like a trapdoor from that claustrophobic life. Working in the streets could make you money, but as long as you were in that game, you were in those streets, connected to that life like you were chained.6. I'm convinced that one of the reasons I struggled to get a record deal is that no one in the business really understood the core audience I reached. I'm convinced that one of the reasons I struggled to get a record deal is that no one in the business really understood the core audience I reached.7. These lyrics are in the first person but really they're directed to other people. When I talk about myself here-flossing on off days and being unstoppable-it's really meant as a boost to the cats who feel lost and depressed, "under God's gray skies," to understand that the only way out is to stay up and keep strong. These lyrics are in the first person but really they're directed to other people. When I talk about myself here-flossing on off days and being unstoppable-it's really meant as a boost to the cats who feel lost and depressed, "under God's gray skies," to understand that the only way out is to stay up and keep strong.8. Socks and sweatpants are where you keep the money and the work when you're hustling. Socks and sweatpants are where you keep the money and the work when you're hustling.9. So many times people get caught up by the cops just when they're about to get out of the game, or even after they've left it behind. Think about the movie So many times people get caught up by the cops just when they're about to get out of the game, or even after they've left it behind. Think about the movie Heat. Heat. It could've happened to me-it almost did. It could've happened to me-it almost did.10. The name of this song is "This Life Forever" and this is what it means to be "stuck in this life forever," getting your weight up so you're always ready for conflict, to kill or be killed, to be armed not just with a nine, but with a quicker mind than the people coming for you. The name of this song is "This Life Forever" and this is what it means to be "stuck in this life forever," getting your weight up so you're always ready for conflict, to kill or be killed, to be armed not just with a nine, but with a quicker mind than the people coming for you.11. Wordplay around the concept of math: "subtract my life," "mathematics is precise," "carry the nine," "just ain't the answer," "divided" by the years. Math is more than just numbers and equations, it's a metaphor for knowledge of the deepest kind. Wordplay around the concept of math: "subtract my life," "mathematics is precise," "carry the nine," "just ain't the answer," "divided" by the years. Math is more than just numbers and equations, it's a metaphor for knowledge of the deepest kind.12. My pop taught me chess, but more than that, he taught me that life was like a giant chessboard where you had to be completely aware in the moment, but also thinking a few moves ahead. By the time he left, he'd already given me a lot of what I'd need to survive. My pop taught me chess, but more than that, he taught me that life was like a giant chessboard where you had to be completely aware in the moment, but also thinking a few moves ahead. By the time he left, he'd already given me a lot of what I'd need to survive.13. There were a lot of Brooklyn kids heading down to Maryland, Virginia, and D.C. in the mid-nineties, chasing new markets for crack. And a lot of them died. There were a lot of Brooklyn kids heading down to Maryland, Virginia, and D.C. in the mid-nineties, chasing new markets for crack. And a lot of them died.14. These lines offer a series of double entendres related to chess: Rooks-or rookies-taken by the knight, meaning the long night of death; they lose their crown-or heads, their lives-trying to defend the queen, which could mean fighting over a woman, or defending someone more powerful, someone higher on the chain of command. These lines offer a series of double entendres related to chess: Rooks-or rookies-taken by the knight, meaning the long night of death; they lose their crown-or heads, their lives-trying to defend the queen, which could mean fighting over a woman, or defending someone more powerful, someone higher on the chain of command.
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MEET THE PARENTS.
Back to Lyrics 1. This song was on the This song was on the Blueprint2: The Gift & the Curse Blueprint2: The Gift & the Curse album. But it's also a song about the gift and the curse that lies at the heart of the parent-child relationship. album. But it's also a song about the gift and the curse that lies at the heart of the parent-child relationship.2. Structurally, I was influenced by the nonlinear way Tarantino laid out the story in Pulp Fiction. So the song begins with a send-off, a burial. Structurally, I was influenced by the nonlinear way Tarantino laid out the story in Pulp Fiction. So the song begins with a send-off, a burial.3. I made his afterlife the prologue to turn the story on its head in narrative terms but also to emphasize the consequences of abandonment, that by walking out on your babies, you're burying them. I made his afterlife the prologue to turn the story on its head in narrative terms but also to emphasize the consequences of abandonment, that by walking out on your babies, you're burying them.4. The kid who died was a "thug" but everything else in these lines tells you he was the kind of person who maintained his honor and was loved by the brothers he left behind. The kid who died was a "thug" but everything else in these lines tells you he was the kind of person who maintained his honor and was loved by the brothers he left behind.5. At the graveside I introduce the single mother, Isis. I gave her an Egyptian goddess's name because there's a way we put black mothers on pedestals while at the same time saying they're incapable of raising boys to men, which I basically say in this song. Even if I believed it when I recorded it, I can say I don't believe it now. There are too many men, myself included, whose lives are counterevidence to that idea. At the graveside I introduce the single mother, Isis. I gave her an Egyptian goddess's name because there's a way we put black mothers on pedestals while at the same time saying they're incapable of raising boys to men, which I basically say in this song. Even if I believed it when I recorded it, I can say I don't believe it now. There are too many men, myself included, whose lives are counterevidence to that idea.6. Even when the men weren't around us, their blood was pumping inside of us, their DNA programming our moves. No matter how far away we were from our fathers physically, we were biologically inseparable, genetically intertwined. And to the degree that biology and genes determine your fate, our destinies were irreversibly linked. Even when the men weren't around us, their blood was pumping inside of us, their DNA programming our moves. No matter how far away we were from our fathers physically, we were biologically inseparable, genetically intertwined. And to the degree that biology and genes determine your fate, our destinies were irreversibly linked.
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7. This is a recurring image in my songs, winter as a symbol of a desolate, difficult life. Maybe if I'd hustled in Southern California or Miami the image would have less of a hold on me, but when you hit the streets in the literal darkness and cold of winters on the East Coast, it reinforces your sense that the universe doesn't care about you, that you're on your own in a harsh world. This is a recurring image in my songs, winter as a symbol of a desolate, difficult life. Maybe if I'd hustled in Southern California or Miami the image would have less of a hold on me, but when you hit the streets in the literal darkness and cold of winters on the East Coast, it reinforces your sense that the universe doesn't care about you, that you're on your own in a harsh world.8. Marijuana dipped in angel dust or PCP. Marijuana dipped in angel dust or PCP.9. Her inability to deal with his death turns her into an addict. Her inability to deal with his death turns her into an addict.10. I flash back to her meeting the father of her son, her son's murderer, when she was basically her son's age. And this feeling is real, too: Just because shit is hard doesn't mean that there isn't real romance in the hood! The moon shines, the stars come out. Isis is just like anyone else; she wanted to indulge herself and get lost in the fantasy of love for one night. I flash back to her meeting the father of her son, her son's murderer, when she was basically her son's age. And this feeling is real, too: Just because shit is hard doesn't mean that there isn't real romance in the hood! The moon shines, the stars come out. Isis is just like anyone else; she wanted to indulge herself and get lost in the fantasy of love for one night.11. "I Wonder if I Take You Home" was a hit for Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam. "I Wonder if I Take You Home" was a hit for Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam.12. In the flash back you see her as a young girl thrilled by the fast life, rejecting a good dude who wanted to escape the city, for Mike, a guy who turned her on by being a thug. In the flash back you see her as a young girl thrilled by the fast life, rejecting a good dude who wanted to escape the city, for Mike, a guy who turned her on by being a thug.13. Romance in the hood is a funny thing. All around the world, women fall for the bad guy, the strong, aggressive one who offers a sense of excitement or danger. It's a cliche, practically. But in the hood, the bad guy is a different character with a different fate from the guy in a romance novel. The bad guy in the hood doesn't always have a way to channel that aggression. His strength is frustrated by a system that rejects him, and his aggression is channeled into illegal acts. The excitement isn't controlled-there's no safety net when he falls off that highwire. The bad boy might grow up to be a hard man, if he grows up at all. The street fight that turns the girls on when he's sixteen is less sexy when he's a grown-ass man. And god help the girl that's got his child. Romance in the hood is a funny thing. All around the world, women fall for the bad guy, the strong, aggressive one who offers a sense of excitement or danger. It's a cliche, practically. But in the hood, the bad guy is a different character with a different fate from the guy in a romance novel. The bad guy in the hood doesn't always have a way to channel that aggression. His strength is frustrated by a system that rejects him, and his aggression is channeled into illegal acts. The excitement isn't controlled-there's no safety net when he falls off that highwire. The bad boy might grow up to be a hard man, if he grows up at all. The street fight that turns the girls on when he's sixteen is less sexy when he's a grown-ass man. And god help the girl that's got his child.14. The flashback ends abruptly. Like a fake pass, you think I'm going to quarterback Isis's story, but now we pick up Mike's story: Like a lot of immature boys suddenly faced with fatherhood, he squirms free with a weak denial. Fifteen years later he's still in the same streets. The flashback ends abruptly. Like a fake pass, you think I'm going to quarterback Isis's story, but now we pick up Mike's story: Like a lot of immature boys suddenly faced with fatherhood, he squirms free with a weak denial. Fifteen years later he's still in the same streets.15. I fast-forward to the near past in the song, the night father and son meet in the street. Their confrontation is between father and son, but the subtext is the intergenerational schism. These are fearless, fatherless young boys feeling they owe no respect to the generation of men above them. I fast-forward to the near past in the song, the night father and son meet in the street. Their confrontation is between father and son, but the subtext is the intergenerational schism. These are fearless, fatherless young boys feeling they owe no respect to the generation of men above them.16. Mike, who hasn't seen his own son since he denied him fourteen years before, is not only faced with a familiar face when he sees his son, but with a newer, presumably more expensive gun, implying that his son's hustle is a higher risk, higher benefit hustle. Father and son carry the same gun, a .38; it's just that the son's cost more. Mike, who hasn't seen his own son since he denied him fourteen years before, is not only faced with a familiar face when he sees his son, but with a newer, presumably more expensive gun, implying that his son's hustle is a higher risk, higher benefit hustle. Father and son carry the same gun, a .38; it's just that the son's cost more.17. It's in this pause that I establish the son's humanity, but also his vulnerability. I also show my partiality: I'm on the son's side. Not only does he have the drop and the better gun, but he's also got the moral high ground. He pauses when he sees the man's face. You get the sense that he's studied every face he's seen his whole life, looking for the face of his father. And now here it is. It freezes him. It's in this pause that I establish the son's humanity, but also his vulnerability. I also show my partiality: I'm on the son's side. Not only does he have the drop and the better gun, but he's also got the moral high ground. He pauses when he sees the man's face. You get the sense that he's studied every face he's seen his whole life, looking for the face of his father. And now here it is. It freezes him.18. The older man has spent a life in the streets honing his survival skills. Where the son instinctively pauses, the father's only reflex is to act, quickly, in the name of self-preservation. It's the same instinct he exercised when he was still a kid and left his son behind. All he knows is war and survival, and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. The older man has spent a life in the streets honing his survival skills. Where the son instinctively pauses, the father's only reflex is to act, quickly, in the name of self-preservation. It's the same instinct he exercised when he was still a kid and left his son behind. All he knows is war and survival, and you can't teach an old dog new tricks.19. The last two phrases are just slight plays on each other. In the first refrain it refers to this specific story, but in the second, it becomes more general, more generational. I never intended "Meet the Parents" to be subtle. In my mind it was a morality play, a PSA for that generation of men who may as well have emptied their guns on their sons when they left their lives. The streets where Mike left his son to be raised are the same streets where he buries him. The last two phrases are just slight plays on each other. In the first refrain it refers to this specific story, but in the second, it becomes more general, more generational. I never intended "Meet the Parents" to be subtle. In my mind it was a morality play, a PSA for that generation of men who may as well have emptied their guns on their sons when they left their lives. The streets where Mike left his son to be raised are the same streets where he buries him.20. And the title to the song has dual meanings, too. The song is about a son meeting one of his parents, but it's also a more general introduction to the listener: It's impossible to understand this generation of kids, the hip-hop generation, till you meet the parents. And the title to the song has dual meanings, too. The song is about a son meeting one of his parents, but it's also a more general introduction to the listener: It's impossible to understand this generation of kids, the hip-hop generation, till you meet the parents.
WHERE I'M FROM Back to Lyrics 1. I start the song with an image that's visual and aural, solid and ethereal. "Hammer" is a hard word for guns, but here the hammers ring. This sets up the listener's perspective as an observer, not a participant, which is the perspective of most folks in the projects, like the women and kids who hear gunshots as echoes bouncing off concrete walls, ringing like wind chimes through their kitchen windows. The song's first image is like my first experience of violence, not as the trigger man but as the kid in his apartment playing with his toys, hearing that distinctive pounding ring out in the background. I start the song with an image that's visual and aural, solid and ethereal. "Hammer" is a hard word for guns, but here the hammers ring. This sets up the listener's perspective as an observer, not a participant, which is the perspective of most folks in the projects, like the women and kids who hear gunshots as echoes bouncing off concrete walls, ringing like wind chimes through their kitchen windows. The song's first image is like my first experience of violence, not as the trigger man but as the kid in his apartment playing with his toys, hearing that distinctive pounding ring out in the background.2. "Two young men who admitted that they had raped and sodomized a 39-year-old woman and then thrown her from the roof of a four-story building in Brooklyn last year were sentenced yesterday to terms of 6 to 18 years in prison....Her case, whose shocking brutality was comparable to that of the Central Park jogger, which occurred only a few days earlier, prompted some harsh criticism of the news media, which did not devote comparable attention to it, in part, critics said, because the Central Park jogger was white and the Brooklyn victim was black."- "Two young men who admitted that they had raped and sodomized a 39-year-old woman and then thrown her from the roof of a four-story building in Brooklyn last year were sentenced yesterday to terms of 6 to 18 years in prison....Her case, whose shocking brutality was comparable to that of the Central Park jogger, which occurred only a few days earlier, prompted some harsh criticism of the news media, which did not devote comparable attention to it, in part, critics said, because the Central Park jogger was white and the Brooklyn victim was black."-The New York Times, October 2, 1990. October 2, 1990.3. It could feel like the rapture sometimes, the way someone would be there one minute, and gone the next, bagged by the cops or the coroner, or off to another state to set up business. It could feel like the rapture sometimes, the way someone would be there one minute, and gone the next, bagged by the cops or the coroner, or off to another state to set up business.4. When cops showed up it was dump and run time. When cops showed up it was dump and run time.5. The ambition of a drug-seller was a paradox: to stop selling drugs. To make enough loot to skate-graceful, easy-away from the whole scene. The ambition of a drug-seller was a paradox: to stop selling drugs. To make enough loot to skate-graceful, easy-away from the whole scene.6. Selling weight "wet" meant to sell the crack so fast it didn't even have time to dry from the cooking. It's cheating, but I justify it in the next line. Selling weight "wet" meant to sell the crack so fast it didn't even have time to dry from the cooking. It's cheating, but I justify it in the next line.7. There's a saying, "the narcissism of small differences," that applies exactly to the way we divvied up the hood: It was projects versus projects, and then building versus building, clique versus clique, brother versus brother. There's a saying, "the narcissism of small differences," that applies exactly to the way we divvied up the hood: It was projects versus projects, and then building versus building, clique versus clique, brother versus brother.8. Well, exactly: Tompkins niggas might've seemed somehow different from Marcy niggas, but we were all in the same game, after the same shit, using the same techniques. Well, exactly: Tompkins niggas might've seemed somehow different from Marcy niggas, but we were all in the same game, after the same shit, using the same techniques.9. Hammers are ringing, drugs are being sold, cops are rolling up, girls are being fought over, fast money's being made. And no one's over thirty. It's a recipe for conflict. Hammers are ringing, drugs are being sold, cops are rolling up, girls are being fought over, fast money's being made. And no one's over thirty. It's a recipe for conflict.10. "Boosters" are shoplifters who'd slide into department stores, stuff a pile of sweaters under their worn-out goose downs, and then sell them for half price back on the streets. "Boosters" are shoplifters who'd slide into department stores, stuff a pile of sweaters under their worn-out goose downs, and then sell them for half price back on the streets.11. Where I'm from, on the streets I'm describing, all you had was your word-it was everything. If you pretended to be something you weren't, your card would get pulled quick. The legit world has a million ways to slip out of the truth; ironically, the underworld depends on a kind of integrity. Where I'm from, on the streets I'm describing, all you had was your word-it was everything. If you pretended to be something you weren't, your card would get pulled quick. The legit world has a million ways to slip out of the truth; ironically, the underworld depends on a kind of integrity.12. When I was a kid the debate was LL versus Run-DMC, or, later, Kane versus Rakim. Next year it might be Drake versus J. Cole. It's a tribute to how deeply felt hip-hop is that people don't just sit back and listen to the music-they have to break it down, pick the lyrics apart, and debate the shit with other fans who are doing the same thing. When people talk about forms of media, sometimes they compare lean-forward media (which are interactive, like video games or the Internet) and lean-back media (which are passive, like television or magazines). Music can be lean-back sort of media, it can just wash over you or play in the background-but hip-hop is different. It forces people to lean forward-lean right out of their chairs-and take a position. When I was a kid the debate was LL versus Run-DMC, or, later, Kane versus Rakim. Next year it might be Drake versus J. Cole. It's a tribute to how deeply felt hip-hop is that people don't just sit back and listen to the music-they have to break it down, pick the lyrics apart, and debate the shit with other fans who are doing the same thing. When people talk about forms of media, sometimes they compare lean-forward media (which are interactive, like video games or the Internet) and lean-back media (which are passive, like television or magazines). Music can be lean-back sort of media, it can just wash over you or play in the background-but hip-hop is different. It forces people to lean forward-lean right out of their chairs-and take a position.13. The "drug czar" here obviously isn't the one that works for the government. The "drug czar" here obviously isn't the one that works for the government.14. "R-and-R" stands for "reverse and remand," an order from a court to reverse a decision or refer it back to a lower court. "R-and-R" stands for "reverse and remand," an order from a court to reverse a decision or refer it back to a lower court.15. "Ball" has three meanings: to fuck, to spend money, and to play basketball. I'm talking about playing ball here, but I'm nodding to the other meanings, too. "Breeding" rhyme stars connects back directly to the rest of this verse: The drugs and guns, the fun and the risk, and, most of all, the survival-of-the-fittest competition, is enough pressure to crush coal into diamonds. It's an idealized, almost romantic, way to look at this life, a sudden reverse after the song's bleak beginning. "Ball" has three meanings: to fuck, to spend money, and to play basketball. I'm talking about playing ball here, but I'm nodding to the other meanings, too. "Breeding" rhyme stars connects back directly to the rest of this verse: The drugs and guns, the fun and the risk, and, most of all, the survival-of-the-fittest competition, is enough pressure to crush coal into diamonds. It's an idealized, almost romantic, way to look at this life, a sudden reverse after the song's bleak beginning.
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16. This is a line from a remix I did with Puff Daddy (as he was then known) and Biggie for a song called "Young G's." This is a line from a remix I did with Puff Daddy (as he was then known) and Biggie for a song called "Young G's."17. The churches really were the flakiest, whether they were storefronts or big old-school churches with vaulted ceilings and steeples. They were kept alive with the donations of poor folks and hadn't seen a paint job in a minute. But more than that, they were full of fake prophets and money-snatching preachers. The churches really were the flakiest, whether they were storefronts or big old-school churches with vaulted ceilings and steeples. They were kept alive with the donations of poor folks and hadn't seen a paint job in a minute. But more than that, they were full of fake prophets and money-snatching preachers.18. When your prayers aren't answered, you start to think that maybe there's no one there to answer them. Day after day, year after year, generation after generation, the response seems to be silence-it tests your faith. When your prayers aren't answered, you start to think that maybe there's no one there to answer them. Day after day, year after year, generation after generation, the response seems to be silence-it tests your faith.19. I'm triangulating my location. The block from hell is a double entendre: my block is in close proximity to the worst of the worst, but it's also "the block from hell," like it emerged from a flaming pit. "Not enough shots from stray shells," means that where I'm from no one is really safe from a stray bullet. The last line-"an ounce away from a triple beam"-is a drug-game detail that niggas in the streets picked up on immediately. That ounce away is the difference between struggling and making real money, and a lot of hustlers stay an ounce away and never graduate. But the aspiration to move up to the triple-beam is real, and the handheld weight scale is symbolic of that street-level hustler's hunger-you can hold his weight in your hand, but his hunger is enormous. I'm triangulating my location. The block from hell is a double entendre: my block is in close proximity to the worst of the worst, but it's also "the block from hell," like it emerged from a flaming pit. "Not enough shots from stray shells," means that where I'm from no one is really safe from a stray bullet. The last line-"an ounce away from a triple beam"-is a drug-game detail that niggas in the streets picked up on immediately. That ounce away is the difference between struggling and making real money, and a lot of hustlers stay an ounce away and never graduate. But the aspiration to move up to the triple-beam is real, and the handheld weight scale is symbolic of that street-level hustler's hunger-you can hold his weight in your hand, but his hunger is enormous.
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20. I wrote this at a time when I felt the government was irrelevant to the ways we organized, resolved conflict, and took care of ourselves. "Politic" is slang for the kind of talk that works things out. I wrote this at a time when I felt the government was irrelevant to the ways we organized, resolved conflict, and took care of ourselves. "Politic" is slang for the kind of talk that works things out.21. "In 2001, the life expectancy in New York City's poorest neighborhoods was 8 years shorter than in its wealthiest neighborhoods." -"Health Disparities in New York," New York City Department of Health. "In 2001, the life expectancy in New York City's poorest neighborhoods was 8 years shorter than in its wealthiest neighborhoods." -"Health Disparities in New York," New York City Department of Health.22. The stakes are relatively low once you leave the streets. A bad review might hurt your feelings, but really who gives a fuck compared to the equivalent on the streets. The stakes are relatively low once you leave the streets. A bad review might hurt your feelings, but really who gives a fuck compared to the equivalent on the streets.23. This is not the only time I interrogate God; in songs like "D'Evils" (p. 50), "Lucifer" (p. 286), and "Beach Chair" (p. 282) I do something similar, sometimes in a confrontational way, sometimes in a more plaintive way. But these lines aren't about God in the traditional sense, they're almost questions back to myself. Do I forgive guys who live just like me? It's a question that haunts a lot of us-and the song is a defense, a case that in some ways we're just products of our environment. But I'm not convinced that it's that simple. This is not the only time I interrogate God; in songs like "D'Evils" (p. 50), "Lucifer" (p. 286), and "Beach Chair" (p. 282) I do something similar, sometimes in a confrontational way, sometimes in a more plaintive way. But these lines aren't about God in the traditional sense, they're almost questions back to myself. Do I forgive guys who live just like me? It's a question that haunts a lot of us-and the song is a defense, a case that in some ways we're just products of our environment. But I'm not convinced that it's that simple.24. The "promise fulfilled" is the promise I made to God-or to myself-in the earlier line, that if I got successful, I'd let them know "exactly what takes place in the ghetto." This song is the promise's partial fulfillment, but the job wasn't done-I kept trying to get deeper and deeper into the story from song to song. The "promise fulfilled" is the promise I made to God-or to myself-in the earlier line, that if I got successful, I'd let them know "exactly what takes place in the ghetto." This song is the promise's partial fulfillment, but the job wasn't done-I kept trying to get deeper and deeper into the story from song to song.25. "Clap boards" is more basketball talk-the image catches a player in the air, slapping the backboard while he grabs a rebound, the sound ricocheting through the project courtyards like a gunclap. "Clap boards" is more basketball talk-the image catches a player in the air, slapping the backboard while he grabs a rebound, the sound ricocheting through the project courtyards like a gunclap.26. More blasphemy! Comparing the silent god Jehovah with the rap lords whose voices never left us. More blasphemy! Comparing the silent god Jehovah with the rap lords whose voices never left us.27. This line feels kind of thrown off, but it's maybe the strangest line on the whole record. I've been describing a place that's full of violence, where the scramblers on the corner are trying to make enough money to move, where even God doesn't visit, but the irony is that the stories that came out of this place- This line feels kind of thrown off, but it's maybe the strangest line on the whole record. I've been describing a place that's full of violence, where the scramblers on the corner are trying to make enough money to move, where even God doesn't visit, but the irony is that the stories that came out of this place-a block from hell-would make millions for the storytellers.28. It's hard to argue with this sentiment once you get the context. In the life I'm describing, a night's sweetness is a treasure and worrying about the cost of it is a waste of time. It's hard to argue with this sentiment once you get the context. In the life I'm describing, a night's sweetness is a treasure and worrying about the cost of it is a waste of time.29. "Leek" is embalming fluid mixed with PCP. On the West Coast, where it's probably more popular, they call it "sherm." It's famous for making people lose their minds, jump off roofs, strip themselves naked in the street and start running. It's a suicidal high. "Leek" is embalming fluid mixed with PCP. On the West Coast, where it's probably more popular, they call it "sherm." It's famous for making people lose their minds, jump off roofs, strip themselves naked in the street and start running. It's a suicidal high.30. I'm describing a game of Cee-Lo-deuce, "three dice and shoot the five," "hit 'em with trips"-a game played with three dice. On the corner we'd kill time with Cee-Lo-all you need is some dice-but the money is real, so sometimes the stakes expand. I'm describing a game of Cee-Lo-deuce, "three dice and shoot the five," "hit 'em with trips"-a game played with three dice. On the corner we'd kill time with Cee-Lo-all you need is some dice-but the money is real, so sometimes the stakes expand.31. The song climaxes with the narrator winning a dice game, stepping his game up to platinum, and keeping guard with a nine, while "niggas show love." Before you get too happy, though, it brings us back to an image of paranoia and death, the cloud that hangs over a hustler's head forever. The song climaxes with the narrator winning a dice game, stepping his game up to platinum, and keeping guard with a nine, while "niggas show love." Before you get too happy, though, it brings us back to an image of paranoia and death, the cloud that hangs over a hustler's head forever.
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MINORITY REPORT.
Back to Lyrics 1. These are all actual clips from the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. These are all actual clips from the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina.2. "Long before the storm, New Orleans was by almost any metric the worst city in the United States-the deepest poverty, the most murders, the worst schools, the sickest economy, the most corrupt and brutal cops." -Dan Baum, "Long before the storm, New Orleans was by almost any metric the worst city in the United States-the deepest poverty, the most murders, the worst schools, the sickest economy, the most corrupt and brutal cops." -Dan Baum, Nine Lives: Life and Death in New Orleans. Nine Lives: Life and Death in New Orleans.3. I wanted to do a song about Katrina, but I also wanted the song to be about how what we saw during the hurricane was just an extreme example of the shit that was already happening in New Orleans. The young guys there were motivated by the same desperation as the guy who loots the store after the hurricane for diapers and formula. Both are just trying to survive in a storm. If you focus only on the criminal act and lose sight of the whole chain of cause and effect, you get a distorted, unfair picture. People are often pushed into desperate acts and bad choices by circumstances. I wanted to do a song about Katrina, but I also wanted the song to be about how what we saw during the hurricane was just an extreme example of the shit that was already happening in New Orleans. The young guys there were motivated by the same desperation as the guy who loots the store after the hurricane for diapers and formula. Both are just trying to survive in a storm. If you focus only on the criminal act and lose sight of the whole chain of cause and effect, you get a distorted, unfair picture. People are often pushed into desperate acts and bad choices by circumstances.4. I had to wonder about all those dramatic photos shot from helicopters swooping over people stranded on roofs. I have no idea if those journalists could've picked up the people on the roofs after they'd taken their photo, but it seemed like a metaphor for what was happening all over the country: We were all watching the story unfold but doing nothing. I had to wonder about all those dramatic photos shot from helicopters swooping over people stranded on roofs. I have no idea if those journalists could've picked up the people on the roofs after they'd taken their photo, but it seemed like a metaphor for what was happening all over the country: We were all watching the story unfold but doing nothing.
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5. This was a fantasy: What would happen if the situation was reversed and Bush was on the ground, surrounded by the folks of the Ninth Ward, as beautiful and fragile as orchids? And how fast would they have gotten him out? This was a fantasy: What would happen if the situation was reversed and Bush was on the ground, surrounded by the folks of the Ninth Ward, as beautiful and fragile as orchids? And how fast would they have gotten him out?
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6. Giving money is important, I think, but the people who got down there to help and put their feet in that water were heroic. Giving money is important, I think, but the people who got down there to help and put their feet in that water were heroic.7. I repeat this line because it has two meanings. The first time it refers to the money that I donated: I can't say that the money has made anything better. The second time, I'm referring to even further "before," to life before the Civil Rights Movement. I repeat this line because it has two meanings. The first time it refers to the money that I donated: I can't say that the money has made anything better. The second time, I'm referring to even further "before," to life before the Civil Rights Movement.
DYNASTY (INTRO).
Back to Lyrics 1. "Woke up this morning/got yourself a gun..." "Woke up this morning/got yourself a gun..."2. The opening of the song establishes the feeling that a lot of us had: We didn't worship the Mafia like a lot of people thought, but we completely related to the "us vs. the establishment" mentality. That was the "key of life" for us, the thing that united us, even when we weren't in perfect harmony. The opening of the song establishes the feeling that a lot of us had: We didn't worship the Mafia like a lot of people thought, but we completely related to the "us vs. the establishment" mentality. That was the "key of life" for us, the thing that united us, even when we weren't in perfect harmony.3. Stevie Wonder connects back to the "key of life" metaphor. He famously wore beads-and "beeds" are also what folks used to call nappy hair. My mom used to call them "biddy beeds" and rub my head, which I sometimes covered with a wave cap, also called a do-rag. I'm trying to create a parallel between me and Stevie Wonder. He's blind, obviously, and relies on his other senses to navigate the world. That's how it is on the streets, too, where you have to rely on your instincts to survive and anticipate what's going to happen before you actually see it. Stevie Wonder connects back to the "key of life" metaphor. He famously wore beads-and "beeds" are also what folks used to call nappy hair. My mom used to call them "biddy beeds" and rub my head, which I sometimes covered with a wave cap, also called a do-rag. I'm trying to create a parallel between me and Stevie Wonder. He's blind, obviously, and relies on his other senses to navigate the world. That's how it is on the streets, too, where you have to rely on your instincts to survive and anticipate what's going to happen before you actually see it.
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4. "Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son and an inspiration for some of the comedian's most rollicking television humor and family antics, was shot to death early Thursday after he pulled over to the side of a Los Angeles freeway to change a flat tire." - "Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son and an inspiration for some of the comedian's most rollicking television humor and family antics, was shot to death early Thursday after he pulled over to the side of a Los Angeles freeway to change a flat tire." -The New York Times, January 19, 1997. January 19, 1997.5. Ennis was the kind of kid that a lot of us were envious of: He came from a fortune and seemed to have it all, including his dad, Bill Cosby-the ultimate American dad-while most of us came up with nothing and had never even met our fathers, much less lived with them. (I'm not sure if I was lucky or not to have gotten the chance to know my dad before he bounced.) But Ennis's death was one of those things that sharpens your sight (which continues the blindness/sight metaphor I introduced with Stevie Wonder). It reminded us of life's frailty even for people with money and status. Money can't protect you from fate. Ennis was the kind of kid that a lot of us were envious of: He came from a fortune and seemed to have it all, including his dad, Bill Cosby-the ultimate American dad-while most of us came up with nothing and had never even met our fathers, much less lived with them. (I'm not sure if I was lucky or not to have gotten the chance to know my dad before he bounced.) But Ennis's death was one of those things that sharpens your sight (which continues the blindness/sight metaphor I introduced with Stevie Wonder). It reminded us of life's frailty even for people with money and status. Money can't protect you from fate.6. Here I'm outside hustling, sometimes in freezing-cold weather. "Below zero" refers to my money situation as well-I'm not starving literally, but I'm hungry for success. I'm willing to do whatever to improve my situation, with no sympathy for anyone else-a survival-of-the-fittest mentality takes over, "darkens my heart." The stress might drive me to drink, too-"'bout to get my liver." Here I'm outside hustling, sometimes in freezing-cold weather. "Below zero" refers to my money situation as well-I'm not starving literally, but I'm hungry for success. I'm willing to do whatever to improve my situation, with no sympathy for anyone else-a survival-of-the-fittest mentality takes over, "darkens my heart." The stress might drive me to drink, too-"'bout to get my liver."7. Another reference to Malcolm X's by any means necessary-a phrase he coined to talk about political revolution and racial liberation-which is used in hip-hop as a description of getting paid by any means when your back is against the wall. We knew Malcolm was a righteous man fighting for a just cause. But we were a step beyond him in our desperation. Another reference to Malcolm X's by any means necessary-a phrase he coined to talk about political revolution and racial liberation-which is used in hip-hop as a description of getting paid by any means when your back is against the wall. We knew Malcolm was a righteous man fighting for a just cause. But we were a step beyond him in our desperation.8. From time to time people with sense would tell us to leave "the life" alone, that there was a better way. At this point I'm becoming cynical and "suspicious" of anybody saying anything other than what I can see in front of me. So like Malcolm I was going to get it by any means and protect myself with "biscuits," a word we used for guns, I don't even know why. Now all of this-contradictions included-is to be ingested by the listener. I left a mess of thoughts for you to sort through. I prepared the "food"; it's up to you to clean it up. From time to time people with sense would tell us to leave "the life" alone, that there was a better way. At this point I'm becoming cynical and "suspicious" of anybody saying anything other than what I can see in front of me. So like Malcolm I was going to get it by any means and protect myself with "biscuits," a word we used for guns, I don't even know why. Now all of this-contradictions included-is to be ingested by the listener. I left a mess of thoughts for you to sort through. I prepared the "food"; it's up to you to clean it up.
MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK (REMIX).
Back to Lyrics 1. Progress is the theme of this song, but the cool thing is that I'm not president, so I could have a completely politically incorrect chorus. Progress is the theme of this song, but the cool thing is that I'm not president, so I could have a completely politically incorrect chorus.2. "My least favorite color is light green" is a line from one of my songs, meaning, I don't like my money to get light, in the sense of being scarce. So "dark green" money isn't a reference to the color, but the amount, of the money. "My least favorite color is light green" is a line from one of my songs, meaning, I don't like my money to get light, in the sense of being scarce. So "dark green" money isn't a reference to the color, but the amount, of the money.3. This is a joke, but it's true, too: Even though he identifies himself as black, the fact that he is also half white would make it easier to a racist, which I find very funny. This is a joke, but it's true, too: Even though he identifies himself as black, the fact that he is also half white would make it easier to a racist, which I find very funny.4. This was a little poem that was spread through e-mails during the election. This was a little poem that was spread through e-mails during the election.5. After Barack was elected, I realized that the same thing hip-hop had been doing for years with language and brands-that is, reinventing them to mean something different from what they originally meant-we could now do to American icons like the flag. Things that had once symbolized slavery, oppression, militarism, and hypocrisy might now begin to legitimately represent us. We're not there yet, but Barack's election offered a tantalizing hint of what that might look like, including things like having the American "first lady" be a beautiful black woman who could trace her ancestry to American slaves. After Barack was elected, I realized that the same thing hip-hop had been doing for years with language and brands-that is, reinventing them to mean something different from what they originally meant-we could now do to American icons like the flag. Things that had once symbolized slavery, oppression, militarism, and hypocrisy might now begin to legitimately represent us. We're not there yet, but Barack's election offered a tantalizing hint of what that might look like, including things like having the American "first lady" be a beautiful black woman who could trace her ancestry to American slaves.
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6. By "white lies" I didn't mean race-I was referring to the deceptions, large and small, of the previous administration. The point of the song is that we were progressing beyond simplistic talk about race and could start being honest about it so that we could, eventually, move on. By "white lies" I didn't mean race-I was referring to the deceptions, large and small, of the previous administration. The point of the song is that we were progressing beyond simplistic talk about race and could start being honest about it so that we could, eventually, move on.
REGRETS.
Back to Lyrics 1. This is the last song on my first album, This is the last song on my first album, Reasonable Doubt. Reasonable Doubt. The album as a whole was like a conversation I was having with the listener about real feelings and emotions. The album went from the highs of the hustler's life in songs like "Feelin It" to the paranoid depths of "D'Evils." I wanted to end it with regret, that last feeling you have before you go to sleep, or feel when you wake up and look at yourself in the bathroom mirror. The album as a whole was like a conversation I was having with the listener about real feelings and emotions. The album went from the highs of the hustler's life in songs like "Feelin It" to the paranoid depths of "D'Evils." I wanted to end it with regret, that last feeling you have before you go to sleep, or feel when you wake up and look at yourself in the bathroom mirror.
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2. This is something I do in a lot of my songs-I introduce the narrator with a declaration that lets you know who he is: In this case, he's obviously a boss, someone who "sold it all" and is speaking from that experience. This is something I do in a lot of my songs-I introduce the narrator with a declaration that lets you know who he is: In this case, he's obviously a boss, someone who "sold it all" and is speaking from that experience.3. "In third person" means that I'm at least one person away from the actual transaction, which is, again, the way a boss would handle his business. "In third person" means that I'm at least one person away from the actual transaction, which is, again, the way a boss would handle his business.4. I'm teaching my people how to "g 'em," which was slang back in the day for game. All this means is that I've trained my people how to handle the negotiation. I'm teaching my people how to "g 'em," which was slang back in the day for game. All this means is that I've trained my people how to handle the negotiation.5. This shows how thorough a boss the narrator is, and how thorough his worker is: I gave him the play before it happened, and now I'm watching the play from a BMW parked some distance away. This shows how thorough a boss the narrator is, and how thorough his worker is: I gave him the play before it happened, and now I'm watching the play from a BMW parked some distance away.6. The metamorphosis happens when you exchange one product for another, the drugs for the money. The metamorphosis happens when you exchange one product for another, the drugs for the money.7. The narrator sees the buyer's eyes and they're like a Korean's-which is some ignorant shit, I'll admit-but the point is that to him they're hard to read, which makes him anxious, because something about the buyer is shut off. The eyes are the window to the soul, and his windows are closed. The narrator sees the buyer's eyes and they're like a Korean's-which is some ignorant shit, I'll admit-but the point is that to him they're hard to read, which makes him anxious, because something about the buyer is shut off. The eyes are the window to the soul, and his windows are closed.8. Now I know something's up, and I'm hoping my people figured it out, too. Now I know something's up, and I'm hoping my people figured it out, too.9. "Chink" refers back to the hard-to-read buyer (I told you it was ignorant) and now it's clear that the plan was to bag my worker, the link that connects me to the transaction. "Chink" refers back to the hard-to-read buyer (I told you it was ignorant) and now it's clear that the plan was to bag my worker, the link that connects me to the transaction.10. I bailed out, like Time Warner bailed out of hip-hop when it sold Interscope under pressure. I'm hoping to get a call from his family to tell me he's okay, not that he died in a shootout with cops. I bailed out, like Time Warner bailed out of hip-hop when it sold Interscope under pressure. I'm hoping to get a call from his family to tell me he's okay, not that he died in a shootout with cops.11. The emotion here is guilt, regret. I put him in the situation, I told him what to do. I showed him how to do it, and I watched it go down. And there was nothing I could do about it. Run down there and try to grab him? Then we're all locked up. So I had to leave. The guilt of leaving, the guilt of putting him in that situation and then not knowing what happened-it was just driving me crazy. I've seen situations like that in real life, and while I can paint a picture of it, the feeling itself is impossible to describe. The emotion here is guilt, regret. I put him in the situation, I told him what to do. I showed him how to do it, and I watched it go down. And there was nothing I could do about it. Run down there and try to grab him? Then we're all locked up. So I had to leave. The guilt of leaving, the guilt of putting him in that situation and then not knowing what happened-it was just driving me crazy. I've seen situations like that in real life, and while I can paint a picture of it, the feeling itself is impossible to describe.12. We're on to a second narrative. Once again I try to quickly define the character in the first line: He's a young hustler trying to figure out life. We're on to a second narrative. Once again I try to quickly define the character in the first line: He's a young hustler trying to figure out life.13. When I started hustling, my mother knew I'd moved out, of course, and when I did come home it would be for a weekend at most, and I'd show up wearing a gold cable that weighed thirty-six ounces and real diamond studs in my ear, gold-plated fronts in my mouth. She never talked to me about it; she believed in letting her children make their own mistakes, plus what could she say? When I started hustling, my mother knew I'd moved out, of course, and when I did come home it would be for a weekend at most, and I'd show up wearing a gold cable that weighed thirty-six ounces and real diamond studs in my ear, gold-plated fronts in my mouth. She never talked to me about it; she believed in letting her children make their own mistakes, plus what could she say?
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14. The song shifts from a general description of his life to a specific situation of danger and decision. The song shifts from a general description of his life to a specific situation of danger and decision.15. I know once I shoot him, that's it for me. Not only will I be a drug dealer, but also a murderer. It's rock bottom. I'm in a situation where I'm literally shaking with fear and my gun is aimed right at his forehead. I know once I shoot him, that's it for me. Not only will I be a drug dealer, but also a murderer. It's rock bottom. I'm in a situation where I'm literally shaking with fear and my gun is aimed right at his forehead.16. These are the moments that move fastest but linger longest. This is a kid who starts the verse seeking-but not finding-guidance in every direction and ends it having to make a life-or-death decision while his body is flooded with adrenaline and his mind clouded with fear and time is ticking off, ruthlessly demanding an answer. These are the moments that move fastest but linger longest. This is a kid who starts the verse seeking-but not finding-guidance in every direction and ends it having to make a life-or-death decision while his body is flooded with adrenaline and his mind clouded with fear and time is ticking off, ruthlessly demanding an answer.17. This is another example of how something seemingly innocent can take a turn. My mother's love and belief in me made me think that I could have anything I wanted in this world, but without direction that ambition led me into situations I wasn't ready for and decisions that I'd have to live with for the rest of my life. Here I tried to capture in a few words that turn from an innocent kid absorbing his mother's love to a young man old before his time burdened with unspeakable regrets. This is another example of how something seemingly innocent can take a turn. My mother's love and belief in me made me think that I could have anything I wanted in this world, but without direction that ambition led me into situations I wasn't ready for and decisions that I'd have to live with for the rest of my life. Here I tried to capture in a few words that turn from an innocent kid absorbing his mother's love to a young man old before his time burdened with unspeakable regrets.18. This narrator is someone who's obviously thinking about a lost friend. This narrator is someone who's obviously thinking about a lost friend.19. These lines capture the doomed feeling of the narrator. Not only is he suicidal from the stress of the life, but he's not even sure he'll find an escape in death, because he's going to go to hell for all the shit he's done. These lines capture the doomed feeling of the narrator. Not only is he suicidal from the stress of the life, but he's not even sure he'll find an escape in death, because he's going to go to hell for all the shit he's done.20. Now the song moves to a one-sided conversation between the narrator and his dead friend. Now the song moves to a one-sided conversation between the narrator and his dead friend.21. The conversation is heating up, the narrator has left the reminiscing, and he begins to enter a rage about a current situation with Newton, another old friend turned enemy. The conversation is heating up, the narrator has left the reminiscing, and he begins to enter a rage about a current situation with Newton, another old friend turned enemy.22. Killing Newton would fuck up his money, so he's got to resign himself to dealing with him in some other way. But it's going to be hard, because Newton is a problem. Killing Newton would fuck up his money, so he's got to resign himself to dealing with him in some other way. But it's going to be hard, because Newton is a problem.23. By the end, he realizes that he's having a crazy conversation with someone who's not even there. He's so destabilized by stress and regret that he's become "touched," crazy enough to strategize with his dead homie about killing someone. By the end, he realizes that he's having a crazy conversation with someone who's not even there. He's so destabilized by stress and regret that he's become "touched," crazy enough to strategize with his dead homie about killing someone.
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THIS CAN'T BE LIFE / FEATURING BEANIE SIGEL AND SCARFACE Back to Lyrics 1. "Bomb" is a slang term for something that's not just good, but powerful. Something that cuts through normal life explodes like a bomb. When you come from the lowest rung of a society-from "sewage"-sometimes the only way to make noise is with an explosion. "Bomb" is a slang term for something that's not just good, but powerful. Something that cuts through normal life explodes like a bomb. When you come from the lowest rung of a society-from "sewage"-sometimes the only way to make noise is with an explosion.2. When I use lines like this, I count on people knowing who I am and my intentions, knowing that I'm not anti-Semitic or racist, even when I use stereotypes in my rhymes, like here, where I'm playing off the stereotype that Jewish people are "tight," that is, frugal, as a way of talking about the tightness of my flows. Lyor Cohen and I joke about race and Jews and blacks every time we see each other. It's obviously something that's in all of our minds in one way or another, and it's better to get it out, make fun of it, instead of being silent about it and let it start to influence you. When I use lines like this, I count on people knowing who I am and my intentions, knowing that I'm not anti-Semitic or racist, even when I use stereotypes in my rhymes, like here, where I'm playing off the stereotype that Jewish people are "tight," that is, frugal, as a way of talking about the tightness of my flows. Lyor Cohen and I joke about race and Jews and blacks every time we see each other. It's obviously something that's in all of our minds in one way or another, and it's better to get it out, make fun of it, instead of being silent about it and let it start to influence you.3. "38 long" could be a sleeve length for arms, or it could be-and is, in this case-a type of arm, as in weapon, a .38 long handgun. "38 long" could be a sleeve length for arms, or it could be-and is, in this case-a type of arm, as in weapon, a .38 long handgun.4. Another double entendre relating to a shirt-the cuffs that my arms go through here aren't cotton, though, they're iron. There's no deep hidden meaning to shirts in this song, but extending the metaphor helps to hold the thought together and make it more vivid. Another double entendre relating to a shirt-the cuffs that my arms go through here aren't cotton, though, they're iron. There's no deep hidden meaning to shirts in this song, but extending the metaphor helps to hold the thought together and make it more vivid.5. The voice screaming in this case is the voice in my head. Normally you think about the voice in your head as whispering to you or, at worse, having a heated conversation, but you know shit is really out of control when your conscience needs to scream to get your attention, like, "Don't make me come out there!" The voice screaming in this case is the voice in my head. Normally you think about the voice in your head as whispering to you or, at worse, having a heated conversation, but you know shit is really out of control when your conscience needs to scream to get your attention, like, "Don't make me come out there!"6. Big's Big's Ready to Die Ready to Die dropped in 1994; his Bad Boy labelmate Craig Mack's dropped in 1994; his Bad Boy labelmate Craig Mack's Project: Funk Da World Project: Funk Da World also dropped that year. also dropped that year. Illmatic Illmatic also dropped that year from Nas. The significance of those three records is that they launched the resurgence of East Coast hip-hop after the West Coast had dominated the game for years. also dropped that year from Nas. The significance of those three records is that they launched the resurgence of East Coast hip-hop after the West Coast had dominated the game for years.7. This was a sentiment that I didn't fully allow myself back in 1994. I was rhyming, but mostly hustling. It took me a while to come to grips with the fact that I really wanted to devote myself to music. Biggie and Nas were an inspiration-but the flip side is that no one was giving me a deal. There were times when I slowed down enough to tap into that true feeling, the feeling that maybe I was going to miss out on this thing I really wanted, deep down. That despite whatever success I had on the streets, I would be a failure because I never fully chased my dream. This was a sentiment that I didn't fully allow myself back in 1994. I was rhyming, but mostly hustling. It took me a while to come to grips with the fact that I really wanted to devote myself to music. Biggie and Nas were an inspiration-but the flip side is that no one was giving me a deal. There were times when I slowed down enough to tap into that true feeling, the feeling that maybe I was going to miss out on this thing I really wanted, deep down. That despite whatever success I had on the streets, I would be a failure because I never fully chased my dream.8. "In shorts" shows you that these three-time felons were still just kids. "In shorts" shows you that these three-time felons were still just kids.9. This refers to something that happened to me around that time, 1994, when my girl of five years got pregnant and lost the baby in a miscarriage. Now, obviously, miscarriages happen everywhere, to anyone, but the point is that on top of the especially acute paranoia and disappointment and exhaustion I'm feeling from the street life, friends getting shot, your family being broke, I have to deal with the everyday tragedies that stalk everyone. And when that hits you, sometimes it becomes clear that you have to get out, that this really can't be life, it has to be more. This refers to something that happened to me around that time, 1994, when my girl of five years got pregnant and lost the baby in a miscarriage. Now, obviously, miscarriages happen everywhere, to anyone, but the point is that on top of the especially acute paranoia and disappointment and exhaustion I'm feeling from the street life, friends getting shot, your family being broke, I have to deal with the everyday tragedies that stalk everyone. And when that hits you, sometimes it becomes clear that you have to get out, that this really can't be life, it has to be more.
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SOON YOU'LL UNDERSTAND Back to Lyrics 1. There's a lot of talk about misogyny in rap, and some of it is justified, but some of it misses the point. The world hip-hop describes is full of extremes and exaggerations, sometimes to make a dramatic point, sometimes to tell a more vivid story, sometimes for comic effect. It's the nature of storytelling, especially if it's done in verse, to use more dramatic language and bigger gestures than real life, and to focus on moments of extremity. But those extremes and exaggerations look ridiculous unless there's a core of truth. Songs like "Can I Get A..." where the chorus has me chanting, There's a lot of talk about misogyny in rap, and some of it is justified, but some of it misses the point. The world hip-hop describes is full of extremes and exaggerations, sometimes to make a dramatic point, sometimes to tell a more vivid story, sometimes for comic effect. It's the nature of storytelling, especially if it's done in verse, to use more dramatic language and bigger gestures than real life, and to focus on moments of extremity. But those extremes and exaggerations look ridiculous unless there's a core of truth. Songs like "Can I Get A..." where the chorus has me chanting, can I get a fuck you, from all of my niggas who don't love hoes/they get no dough, can I get a fuck you, from all of my niggas who don't love hoes/they get no dough, is partially a comic exaggeration and partially reflective of reality. This is a slice of the world of male-female relationships: Niggas who want to fuck without paying, bitches who want to get paid and then fuck (maybe). This isn't the one and only way relationships work, but in the world I was in, I saw it. A lot. But in other songs, ranging from "Song Cry" to "Ain't No Nigga," I try paint other pictures, to show the complexities and nuances of relationships. is partially a comic exaggeration and partially reflective of reality. This is a slice of the world of male-female relationships: Niggas who want to fuck without paying, bitches who want to get paid and then fuck (maybe). This isn't the one and only way relationships work, but in the world I was in, I saw it. A lot. But in other songs, ranging from "Song Cry" to "Ain't No Nigga," I try paint other pictures, to show the complexities and nuances of relationships.2. This is a conversation between a man and woman, obviously, but more specifically, it's a player trying to talk a friend out of turning their friendship romantic. The tricky thing is that if you take a female friend and add a sexual relationship, you have to be ready to ruin the friendship. This is a conversation between a man and woman, obviously, but more specifically, it's a player trying to talk a friend out of turning their friendship romantic. The tricky thing is that if you take a female friend and add a sexual relationship, you have to be ready to ruin the friendship.3. The girl is like a sister to him so the relationship is almost incestuous. When he says The girl is like a sister to him so the relationship is almost incestuous. When he says this ain't right, this ain't right, it's the rational, ethical part of him arguing with the part that just wants to hit it. it's the rational, ethical part of him arguing with the part that just wants to hit it.4. I gave her advice like a big brother who knows how careful you have to be around certain types of guys, which I know about because I'm one of them. I gave her advice like a big brother who knows how careful you have to be around certain types of guys, which I know about because I'm one of them.5. These details let you know that this is a "good" girl, someone who has potential outside of the Life. These details let you know that this is a "good" girl, someone who has potential outside of the Life.6. I used the name Gina because of Gina Montana, a character in the movie I used the name Gina because of Gina Montana, a character in the movie Scarface. Scarface. Gina was a good girl who was ruined by her closeness to the criminal underworld. Specifically, her big mistake was getting involved with Manny, the best friend of her brother, which mirrors the situation I'm describing. Gina was a good girl who was ruined by her closeness to the criminal underworld. Specifically, her big mistake was getting involved with Manny, the best friend of her brother, which mirrors the situation I'm describing.7. In In Scarface, Scarface, Tony eventually kills Manny when he discovers he's involved with his sister, so there's another pragmatic reason for avoiding this kind of complicated relationship. Still, it's hard to be careful when it comes to your heart and it hurts to know that you're not good enough or ready enough to do something you want to do. Tony eventually kills Manny when he discovers he's involved with his sister, so there's another pragmatic reason for avoiding this kind of complicated relationship. Still, it's hard to be careful when it comes to your heart and it hurts to know that you're not good enough or ready enough to do something you want to do.
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8. This is the song's second scenario. Trife meaning trifling, of course, and it comes through in all his justifications: I told you I wasn't ready, I don't have the patience, I want to do right. This is the song's second scenario. Trife meaning trifling, of course, and it comes through in all his justifications: I told you I wasn't ready, I don't have the patience, I want to do right.9. "About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful." - "About 20 percent of men and 15 percent of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful." -The New York Times, October 27, 2008. October 27, 2008.10. This is the big complication in so many relationships between young people. Cheating and broken hearts are just part of life when you're young, but when there's another life involved, the stakes are higher and things become so much more complicated and painful. This is the big complication in so many relationships between young people. Cheating and broken hearts are just part of life when you're young, but when there's another life involved, the stakes are higher and things become so much more complicated and painful.11. Now here's another nuance. There's two ways of looking at this line: One is to say that the speaker in this verse has real clarity about his own shortcomings and enough integrity that he's willing to give up the woman he loves in order to protect her. It's a situation that he could easily take advantage of-and lots of cats do-to have a wife at home who loves him and raises his child, while also having a "different girl every night." Or you can see this as a cop-out, a man who doesn't bother controlling his own lusts and then pulls a "it's not you, it's me" line to get out of a solemn commitment, a commitment that now includes a child. Maybe both are true. Now here's another nuance. There's two ways of looking at this line: One is to say that the speaker in this verse has real clarity about his own shortcomings and enough integrity that he's willing to give up the woman he loves in order to protect her. It's a situation that he could easily take advantage of-and lots of cats do-to have a wife at home who loves him and raises his child, while also having a "different girl every night." Or you can see this as a cop-out, a man who doesn't bother controlling his own lusts and then pulls a "it's not you, it's me" line to get out of a solemn commitment, a commitment that now includes a child. Maybe both are true.12. The last verse is a letter from a prison cell from a kid to his moms. The last verse is a letter from a prison cell from a kid to his moms.13. This is the kind of insight people normally don't get until they've fucked up for good. It's so important that kids can at least get out of adolescence without ruining their lives, because it's not till you get older that you start to see the wisdom in what your mother tried to teach you. Before that, you ignore it until you do fuck up and the truth of it all comes crashing in, too late. Youth is wasted on the young, I guess. This is the kind of insight people normally don't get until they've fucked up for good. It's so important that kids can at least get out of adolescence without ruining their lives, because it's not till you get older that you start to see the wisdom in what your mother tried to teach you. Before that, you ignore it until you do fuck up and the truth of it all comes crashing in, too late. Youth is wasted on the young, I guess.
BEACH CHAIR / FEATURING CHRIS MARTIN.
Back to Lyrics 1. This song is written like a will to an unborn child in anticipation of the day when I wake up from the dream of life. This song is written like a will to an unborn child in anticipation of the day when I wake up from the dream of life.
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2. What's clear here is that being "about my paper" is not me being all about money, but being all about the drive for success, 24-7, every day of the year. That drive is what got me where I am and in some ways is who I am. So already I'm sort of contradicting-or at least complicating-the idea that "life is but a beach chair." What's clear here is that being "about my paper" is not me being all about money, but being all about the drive for success, 24-7, every day of the year. That drive is what got me where I am and in some ways is who I am. So already I'm sort of contradicting-or at least complicating-the idea that "life is but a beach chair."3. On my first single, "In My Lifetime," the hook was On my first single, "In My Lifetime," the hook was What's the meaning of life? What's the meaning of life? In the video I make a toast that gives some idea of what I was thinking back then: "May your glasses stay full of champagne, your pockets full of money; this world is full of shit." In the video I make a toast that gives some idea of what I was thinking back then: "May your glasses stay full of champagne, your pockets full of money; this world is full of shit."4. I had recently been in London, where Abbey Road, famous from the Beatles album of the same name, is. But the real point here is the movement from the projects to walking the most famous streets in the world. I had recently been in London, where Abbey Road, famous from the Beatles album of the same name, is. But the real point here is the movement from the projects to walking the most famous streets in the world.5. When you get the things you think you've always wanted, it doesn't stop the voice in your head's interrogation. If anything, it gets more insistent. When you get the things you think you've always wanted, it doesn't stop the voice in your head's interrogation. If anything, it gets more insistent.6. This is probably something everyone feels at some point. If the things that we feel are true-about the way the universe and God work-then we're good. But what if I'm going about it totally wrong? What if there's some price to pay that I haven't calculated? This is probably something everyone feels at some point. If the things that we feel are true-about the way the universe and God work-then we're good. But what if I'm going about it totally wrong? What if there's some price to pay that I haven't calculated?7. Colleek is my nephew, who died in a car crash when he was eighteen-the car he was driving was a graduation gift I'd bought for him. It was one of the most devastating events in my life-my nephews are like sons to me-and in some ways I blamed myself. (I described that situation in the song "Lost One" on this same album.) Colleek is my nephew, who died in a car crash when he was eighteen-the car he was driving was a graduation gift I'd bought for him. It was one of the most devastating events in my life-my nephews are like sons to me-and in some ways I blamed myself. (I described that situation in the song "Lost One" on this same album.)8. This is a familiar saying and something that's worked its way into a lot of religious traditions: the idea that our children pay for our sins. It's a frightening idea-we make most of our mistakes when we're still nearly children ourselves, before we've even fully figured out right and wrong, much less considered the effect of our behavior on lives that haven't even been born yet. I don't believe it's true. It's enough that we pay for our own mistakes. But who really knows? This is a familiar saying and something that's worked its way into a lot of religious traditions: the idea that our children pay for our sins. It's a frightening idea-we make most of our mistakes when we're still nearly children ourselves, before we've even fully figured out right and wrong, much less considered the effect of our behavior on lives that haven't even been born yet. I don't believe it's true. It's enough that we pay for our own mistakes. But who really knows?9. This is me trying to make a deal with the universe: I'm hoping that if I live right through all my tomorrows it will pay for the fucked-up shit I did yesterday, so that she-the daughter I'm imagining-won't have to live in the shadow of my sins. This is me trying to make a deal with the universe: I'm hoping that if I live right through all my tomorrows it will pay for the fucked-up shit I did yesterday, so that she-the daughter I'm imagining-won't have to live in the shadow of my sins.10. Carol's Daughter is a company that makes skin-care products ("to shade her face") but is also a company I invested in, which is a way of saying that I'll leave her whatever she needs, materially or spiritually, to protect her from the harshness of life. Carol's Daughter is a company that makes skin-care products ("to shade her face") but is also a company I invested in, which is a way of saying that I'll leave her whatever she needs, materially or spiritually, to protect her from the harshness of life.11. In the projects, especially back in the eighties, things were so violent that you literally went to sleep to the sound of gunshots some nights. You grow up fast like that. The second meaning here is that Karma catches up to other guys-in the form of gunshots putting them to sleep-but not me, at least not so far. And I'm not going to let fear of death slow me down. In the projects, especially back in the eighties, things were so violent that you literally went to sleep to the sound of gunshots some nights. You grow up fast like that. The second meaning here is that Karma catches up to other guys-in the form of gunshots putting them to sleep-but not me, at least not so far. And I'm not going to let fear of death slow me down.12. It's always been most important for me to figure out "my space" rather than trying to check out what everyone else is up to, minute by minute. Technology is making it easier to connect to other people, but maybe harder to keep connected to yourself-and that's essential for any artist, I think. It's always been most important for me to figure out "my space" rather than trying to check out what everyone else is up to, minute by minute. Technology is making it easier to connect to other people, but maybe harder to keep connected to yourself-and that's essential for any artist, I think.13. This is how it feels when you're in the hood hanging out and then a Benz rounds the corner. You see the dude in the Benz and you feel a surge of something, maybe hope. The guy who hops out of the Benz is familiar-a normal guy, like you, in some ways-but he got out of that tight situation you're still in. Where I'm from, that guy in the shining Benz was almost always a hustler, not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer. Seeing that level of success is powerful. The image tells a dramatic story and drew a lot of us into lives of crime. But the good thing about it is it also gave us all a kind of hunger for success that motivated us to do This is how it feels when you're in the hood hanging out and then a Benz rounds the corner. You see the dude in the Benz and you feel a surge of something, maybe hope. The guy who hops out of the Benz is familiar-a normal guy, like you, in some ways-but he got out of that tight situation you're still in. Where I'm from, that guy in the shining Benz was almost always a hustler, not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer. Seeing that level of success is powerful. The image tells a dramatic story and drew a lot of us into lives of crime. But the good thing about it is it also gave us all a kind of hunger for success that motivated us to do something something more than just hold down the project benches. more than just hold down the project benches.14. There's a double entendre here, but there's more, too: In Greek mythology, a character named Icarus and his father, Daedalus, tried to escape from their imprisonment. Daedalus built two pairs of wax wings for himself and his son so they could fly to freedom. Before they took off, he warned his son not to fly too close to the sun. But once Icarus got in the air, he forgot all about that and kept soaring higher and higher. He got too close to the sun, and his wax wings melted. He kept flapping his arms, but without wings he crashed into the sea, where he drowned. It's a great story, but sometimes we have to ignore the lesson of it, especially those of us who come from backgrounds where there's always someone telling you to quit or to keep a low profile. We can't be afraid to fly-or to be fly-which means soaring not just past our fear of failure but also past our fear of success. There's a double entendre here, but there's more, too: In Greek mythology, a character named Icarus and his father, Daedalus, tried to escape from their imprisonment. Daedalus built two pairs of wax wings for himself and his son so they could fly to freedom. Before they took off, he warned his son not to fly too close to the sun. But once Icarus got in the air, he forgot all about that and kept soaring higher and higher. He got too close to the sun, and his wax wings melted. He kept flapping his arms, but without wings he crashed into the sea, where he drowned. It's a great story, but sometimes we have to ignore the lesson of it, especially those of us who come from backgrounds where there's always someone telling you to quit or to keep a low profile. We can't be afraid to fly-or to be fly-which means soaring not just past our fear of failure but also past our fear of success.15. This is why we shouldn't be afraid. There are two possibilities: One is that there's more to life than the physical life, that our souls "will find an even higher place to dwell" when this life is over. If that's true, there's no reason to fear failure or death. The other possibility is that this life is all there is. And if that's true, then we have to really live it-we have to take it for everything it has and "die enormous" instead of "living dormant," as I said way back on "Can I Live." Either way, fear is a waste of time. This is why we shouldn't be afraid. There are two possibilities: One is that there's more to life than the physical life, that our souls "will find an even higher place to dwell" when this life is over. If that's true, there's no reason to fear failure or death. The other possibility is that this life is all there is. And if that's true, then we have to really live it-we have to take it for everything it has and "die enormous" instead of "living dormant," as I said way back on "Can I Live." Either way, fear is a waste of time.
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16. In a way this captures the theme of my entire catalog-moments of triumph and success, the "winner's cup," intercut with dark, cold days, "winters" so severe they threatened my life. In a way this captures the theme of my entire catalog-moments of triumph and success, the "winner's cup," intercut with dark, cold days, "winters" so severe they threatened my life.17. This was also the chorus and last line of "Never Change" from This was also the chorus and last line of "Never Change" from The Blueprint The Blueprint album, whose opening lines capture the same sentiment- album, whose opening lines capture the same sentiment-Hov summer or winter, Hov dead or alive.18. This takes us back to one of the recurring questions I've been trying to figure out in my songs: How can we know what's right, what's wrong? You're born into this world in a random way. There are no guides. So much depends on where you're born and who your influences are. It's like in the song "Regrets" where the young kid is This takes us back to one of the recurring questions I've been trying to figure out in my songs: How can we know what's right, what's wrong? You're born into this world in a random way. There are no guides. So much depends on where you're born and who your influences are. It's like in the song "Regrets" where the young kid is in search of higher learning turning in every direction seeking direction in search of higher learning turning in every direction seeking direction but doesn't find any. People give you books-the Bible, the Qu'ran-but they don't define you. All of the directional language in this verse: but doesn't find any. People give you books-the Bible, the Qu'ran-but they don't define you. All of the directional language in this verse: compass, map, look, guide, compass, map, look, guide, in the end point the listener inside, toward their own hearts. in the end point the listener inside, toward their own hearts.19. A series of wordplays- A series of wordplays-pro's and and prose prose; cents cents and and scents scents-bring the song to its finish. Even though I've just said that it's your heart that defines you, I'm still trying to give this unborn child something more than that: a blueprint for life. A map, a guide, a scent to follow.
LUCIFER.
Back to Lyrics 1. Kanye brought me this amazing track. The hook- Kanye brought me this amazing track. The hook- I'm gonna chase you out of earth/Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning I'm gonna chase you out of earth/Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning-comes from a classic roots-reggae joint from Max Romeo called "I Chase the Devil." Lucifer is a figure in the Old Testament book of Isaiah: "How art thou fallen, O Lucifer, son of the morning!" Interestingly, he's never directly identified as the devil in the Bible, just a fallen angel. I don't believe in the devil myself, or at least not in the guy with horns and a pitchfork. But I do believe we all have the potential for evil inside of us, which is very real.2. This is another conversation with God, which is, as always, also a conversation with myself, trying to make some kind of ethical sense of my own choices. This is another conversation with God, which is, as always, also a conversation with myself, trying to make some kind of ethical sense of my own choices.
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3. If there is a justification for murder, it's that your own life is threatened. It seems obvious, but it raises questions: When can you be sure that the only way out is preemptive murder? Is violence the only way to prevent violence? Is murder ever a good answer? Even if you save your life, what about your soul? If there is a justification for murder, it's that your own life is threatened. It seems obvious, but it raises questions: When can you be sure that the only way out is preemptive murder? Is violence the only way to prevent violence? Is murder ever a good answer? Even if you save your life, what about your soul?4. I'm repeating the Lord's own words to him because he "said it better than all": If he can allow himself to take vengeance, then why can't I? I'm repeating the Lord's own words to him because he "said it better than all": If he can allow himself to take vengeance, then why can't I?5. The "best boy" I'm referring to here is Biggie. This is actually a song about his death and the way it destroyed my sense of a just universe. Here's the thing about Big: when you got past all the grotesqueries in his lyrics, all the Richard Pryor comic exaggerations, he was one of the most decent, peaceful guys I knew. One night back in '96, maybe, we were hanging out together at Daddy's House, the studio that Bad Boy Records owned, and I played him "Streets Is Watching," a song I'd just finished for my second album. He played it twenty times in a row and gave me a sideways look: "Is the whole album going to sound like this?" He loved me, but at the end of the day, we're all MCs, all competing. He was mad that the song was so good, but happy for me at the same time. He had already started work on his own second album-he played "Hypnotize," "Downfall," and a few other songs for me that night. I was mad but happy, too. Anyway, we left the studio and had dinner with a couple of friends-Ty-Ty and D-Rock-and then we headed out to a club, maybe Mirage or Exit or Carbon, one of the hot clubs at the time in Manhattan. We pulled up to the club and saw some niggas out front who we knew had some problems with Big, crazy guys, the kind who would be happy to shoot up the club just to settle some tired beef or just for the fuck of it or to improve their reputation. Big looked at me and told me straight up: "I'm not going in there." I was young and dumb, and my ego wouldn't let me drive away. I thought Big was scared. I told Ty-Ty, The "best boy" I'm referring to here is Biggie. This is actually a song about his death and the way it destroyed my sense of a just universe. Here's the thing about Big: when you got past all the grotesqueries in his lyrics, all the Richard Pryor comic exaggerations, he was one of the most decent, peaceful guys I knew. One night back in '96, maybe, we were hanging out together at Daddy's House, the studio that Bad Boy Records owned, and I played him "Streets Is Watching," a song I'd just finished for my second album. He played it twenty times in a row and gave me a sideways look: "Is the whole album going to sound like this?" He loved me, but at the end of the day, we're all MCs, all competing. He was mad that the song was so good, but happy for me at the same time. He had already started work on his own second album-he played "Hypnotize," "Downfall," and a few other songs for me that night. I was mad but happy, too. Anyway, we left the studio and had dinner with a couple of friends-Ty-Ty and D-Rock-and then we headed out to a club, maybe Mirage or Exit or Carbon, one of the hot clubs at the time in Manhattan. We pulled up to the club and saw some niggas out front who we knew had some problems with Big, crazy guys, the kind who would be happy to shoot up the club just to settle some tired beef or just for the fuck of it or to improve their reputation. Big looked at me and told me straight up: "I'm not going in there." I was young and dumb, and my ego wouldn't let me drive away. I thought Big was scared. I told Ty-Ty, Fuck it, we're going in. Fuck it, we're going in. And we did. But Big wasn't playing. He pulled right away from that club and went the fuck home. He wasn't scared; he just didn't want to waste his time with that kind of bullshit. He had bigger goals and wasn't going to get derailed on some silly shit. He had started on the streets but developed greater insight and clarity about the futility and wastefulness of that kind of petty violence. For someone like that to get shot and killed the way he did tore me up. The whole Tupac beef was so pointless. Big just tried to avoid the whole thing. He never did anything wrong in that situation. His death was so senseless, so wrong, that it drove me crazy with rage and sadness. And we did. But Big wasn't playing. He pulled right away from that club and went the fuck home. He wasn't scared; he just didn't want to waste his time with that kind of bullshit. He had bigger goals and wasn't going to get derailed on some silly shit. He had started on the streets but developed greater insight and clarity about the futility and wastefulness of that kind of petty violence. For someone like that to get shot and killed the way he did tore me up. The whole Tupac beef was so pointless. Big just tried to avoid the whole thing. He never did anything wrong in that situation. His death was so senseless, so wrong, that it drove me crazy with rage and sadness.6. Brown Sugar Brown Sugar was a movie starring the fly Sanaa Lathan (and based in part on the life of my collaborator dream hampton, coincidentally). was a movie starring the fly Sanaa Lathan (and based in part on the life of my collaborator dream hampton, coincidentally).7. I'm in Los Angeles because that's where Big was murdered. I'm in Los Angeles because that's where Big was murdered.8. Although Although evangelist evangelist shares a bar with and picks up the rhyme from shares a bar with and picks up the rhyme from Los Angeles, Los Angeles, it's actually the beginning of the sentence that continues in the next bar, or after the line break when you read it in print. The sentence is: it's actually the beginning of the sentence that continues in the next bar, or after the line break when you read it in print. The sentence is: Like an evangelist I can introduce you to your maker. Like an evangelist I can introduce you to your maker. But when you hear it it sounds like I But when you hear it it sounds like In Los Angeles, like an evangelist. But what could that possibly mean? It plants something strange in the middle of the song and adds weight to those words But what could that possibly mean? It plants something strange in the middle of the song and adds weight to those words Los Angeles Los Angeles and and evangelist, evangelist, even if they're out of context. I like playing with the line breaks like that to create strange lyrical effects. even if they're out of context. I like playing with the line breaks like that to create strange lyrical effects.9. Being reduced to ashes brings you "closer to nature" by returning you to the dust, which is also another indirect biblical echo. Being reduced to ashes brings you "closer to nature" by returning you to the dust, which is also another indirect biblical echo.10. They need to hope their debts are paid up and they're all square with whatever god they worship, because it's over. I've played a lot with the language of the threat in my songs-I even have a whole song called "Threats"-but in this song, there's something more sinister about the threat, something more serious, which is partially conveyed by the use of biblical and religious imagery. They need to hope their debts are paid up and they're all square with whatever god they worship, because it's over. I've played a lot with the language of the threat in my songs-I even have a whole song called "Threats"-but in this song, there's something more sinister about the threat, something more serious, which is partially conveyed by the use of biblical and religious imagery.11. The "I'm coming" is another near-religious phrase. It implies that I'm not just plotting and planning to get you and you can maybe plot and plan to escape. This is serious. You killed my nigga. I'm coming like a force of nature, or even something supernatural, something you can't oppose or prevent, because my cause is righteous and my intent is pure. All you can do is make sure your casket's picked out and you've gotten right with God because death is inevitable. It's a dark sentiment, but that's how revenge can feel, like it's so right and just can't be stopped. It's the perfect feeling for this song. The "I'm coming" is another near-religious phrase. It implies that I'm not just plotting and planning to get you and you can maybe plot and plan to escape. This is serious. You killed my nigga. I'm coming like a force of nature, or even something supernatural, something you can't oppose or prevent, because my cause is righteous and my intent is pure. All you can do is make sure your casket's picked out and you've gotten right with God because death is inevitable. It's a dark sentiment, but that's how revenge can feel, like it's so right and just can't be stopped. It's the perfect feeling for this song.12. The lines here are staggered and the references come in a fusillade. The bullets in the Koch automatic spray, and the holy water you get wet with is your own blood. A sabbatical is one way to refer to taking a break, so is "taking six"-but the break I'm talking about is permanent: you'll "cease to exist." Take Six is also the name of an a cappella gospel group-another religious reference-whose big hit was "Spread Love." I used to freestyle over that song when I toured with Big Daddy Kane as a teenager, the a cappella rhythms they created with their voices were like a harmonic human beat box. The lines here are staggered and the references come in a fusillade. The bullets in the Koch automatic spray, and the holy water you get wet with is your own blood. A sabbatical is one way to refer to taking a break, so is "taking six"-but the break I'm talking about is permanent: you'll "cease to exist." Take Six is also the name of an a cappella gospel group-another religious reference-whose big hit was "Spread Love." I used to freestyle over that song when I toured with Big Daddy Kane as a teenager, the a cappella rhythms they created with their voices were like a harmonic human beat box.13. Another staggered line. The previous line's emphatic Another staggered line. The previous line's emphatic church church ties to this line's reference to Don Bishop, the pimp/pastor whose catchphrase is ties to this line's reference to Don Bishop, the pimp/pastor whose catchphrase is chuuuurch! chuuuurch!14. At your funeral, of course. At your funeral, of course.15. This connects back to the first line in the verse where I mention "Brown Sugar" by D'Angelo; "Devil's Pie" was another song by D'Angelo from his This connects back to the first line in the verse where I mention "Brown Sugar" by D'Angelo; "Devil's Pie" was another song by D'Angelo from his Voodoo Voodoo album. That song starts off album. That song starts off fuck the slice want the pie/why ask why till we fry. fuck the slice want the pie/why ask why till we fry. This verse is like a Devil's Pie, a complete indulgence in evil thoughts. This verse is like a Devil's Pie, a complete indulgence in evil thoughts.16. I'm now talking about Biggs's brother, Bobalob. We called him that because of his ball skills. He could jump really high so they threw him an alley oop or lob passes a lot. I'm now talking about Biggs's brother, Bobalob. We called him that because of his ball skills. He could jump really high so they threw him an alley oop or lob passes a lot.17. This last verse is more autobiographical. I'm no longer the killing machine of the first two verses, now I'm just someone suffering through the loss of a friend, dreaming of revenge but waking up with just sadness. This last verse is more autobiographical. I'm no longer the killing machine of the first two verses, now I'm just someone suffering through the loss of a friend, dreaming of revenge but waking up with just sadness.18. Bob was driving a car in the Bronx when he was shot-the car crashed after the bullets connected. Bob was driving a car in the Bronx when he was shot-the car crashed after the bullets connected.19. This series of reverses is a more honest account about how I'm thinking about the deaths of these two friends. Revenge as a fantasy feels glorious in a dark way, but doesn't solve the real problem, which is that they're gone. The only thing that would bring them back is this impossible prayer to reverse time. This series of reverses is a more honest account about how I'm thinking about the deaths of these two friends. Revenge as a fantasy feels glorious in a dark way, but doesn't solve the real problem, which is that they're gone. The only thing that would bring them back is this impossible prayer to reverse time.20. Just as I started the song with a prayer- Just as I started the song with a prayer-Lord forgive him-I'm ending it with one. The first prayer asks for forgiveness for an act of murder; the last asks God to forgive the victim of a murder and make a way for him through the proverbial pearly gates of the afterlife.21. I believe that intentions are a form of reality. Even having that idea of murderous revenge in your heart is dangerous. I believe that intentions are a form of reality. Even having that idea of murderous revenge in your heart is dangerous.22. Why do people trip over into the dark side, into murder and vengeance? It's not the "Devil." It could stem from all kinds of things: abandonment, deprivation, the loss of a loved one. All those things can make you question your faith in the universe or in the idea of a just God. But that evil inside is something we all have to find a way to deal with, or it'll take us over. Why do people trip over into the dark side, into murder and vengeance? It's not the "Devil." It could stem from all kinds of things: abandonment, deprivation, the loss of a loved one. All those things can make you question your faith in the universe or in the idea of a just God. But that evil inside is something we all have to find a way to deal with, or it'll take us over.23. Some people have used this song as evidence that I worship the devil, which is another chapter for the big book of stupid. It's really just laughable. But the sad part is that it's not even remotely a song about devil worship! It's a song about the intersection of some basic human emotions, the place where sadness meets rage, where our need to mourn meets our lust for justice, where our faith meets our inclination to take matters into our own hands, like karmic vigilantes. People who hear the word Some people have used this song as evidence that I worship the devil, which is another chapter for the big book of stupid. It's really just laughable. But the sad part is that it's not even remotely a song about devil worship! It's a song about the intersection of some basic human emotions, the place where sadness meets rage, where our need to mourn meets our lust for justice, where our faith meets our inclination to take matters into our own hands, like karmic vigilantes. People who hear the word Lucifer Lucifer and start making accusations are just robbing themselves of an opportunity to get in touch with something deeper than that, something inside their own souls. and start making accusations are just robbing themselves of an opportunity to get in touch with something deeper than that, something inside their own souls.
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DECEMBER 4TH.
Back to Lyrics 1. My mother actually narrated these stories on the record. She's got a beautiful voice, like Maya Angelou or something. My mother actually narrated these stories on the record. She's got a beautiful voice, like Maya Angelou or something.
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2. It's like the line from the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" (which Janet Jackson and Q-Tip sampled), It's like the line from the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" (which Janet Jackson and Q-Tip sampled), you don't know what you got till it's gone. you don't know what you got till it's gone.3. A reference to Biggie's line in "You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills You)": A reference to Biggie's line in "You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills You)": My sycamore style, more sicker than yours. My sycamore style, more sicker than yours.4. I didn't give her pain in childbirth, but I made up for it later. My mother didn't talk about it a lot, but she was scared for me when I really hit the streets. At the same time, she knew I had to figure some things out for myself. I didn't give her pain in childbirth, but I made up for it later. My mother didn't talk about it a lot, but she was scared for me when I really hit the streets. At the same time, she knew I had to figure some things out for myself.5. My behavior was purposeful, but it was never my purpose to cause her pain. My behavior was purposeful, but it was never my purpose to cause her pain.6. I'm making the point here that poverty, as bad as it is, was one reason why I ended up hustling, but there were deeper reasons, demons that I had stemming from abandonment. I'm making the point here that poverty, as bad as it is, was one reason why I ended up hustling, but there were deeper reasons, demons that I had stemming from abandonment.7. The sample that Just Blaze used for this track is a song from the Chi-Lites, a seventies soul group in my parents' collection. The sample includes an ad lib from that song: The sample that Just Blaze used for this track is a song from the Chi-Lites, a seventies soul group in my parents' collection. The sample includes an ad lib from that song: What's wrong, you look like you lost your best friend, is it something that I've done again? What's wrong, you look like you lost your best friend, is it something that I've done again?
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8. This is a reference to "Insane in the Brain," by Cypress Hill. This is a reference to "Insane in the Brain," by Cypress Hill.9. Now the shit matches my shirt. Now the shit matches my shirt.10. The money isn't just about money. It's about finding a sense of worth in the world-after you've been told you're worthless. Status-and self-esteem-are really what the money buys you. The money isn't just about money. It's about finding a sense of worth in the world-after you've been told you're worthless. Status-and self-esteem-are really what the money buys you.11. I would hit my mother with cash and tell her I picked it up from shows I was doing-a transparent lie since Jaz and I weren't exactly raking in big money for performing back then. I would hit my mother with cash and tell her I picked it up from shows I was doing-a transparent lie since Jaz and I weren't exactly raking in big money for performing back then.12. Of course, '96 was the year Of course, '96 was the year Reasonable Doubt Reasonable Doubt came out, and more importantly for this song, it was the year that my rapping stopped coming "second to me moving this crack." came out, and more importantly for this song, it was the year that my rapping stopped coming "second to me moving this crack."13. This is a song that strips all the glamour out of the drug game. The best thing I say about it is that it was a source of adrenaline and "spoils," which is a word with two opposite meanings, of course: Spoils can be a reward, but the word itself implies that the reward is tainted, spoiled, by what you have to do to get it. This is a song that strips all the glamour out of the drug game. The best thing I say about it is that it was a source of adrenaline and "spoils," which is a word with two opposite meanings, of course: Spoils can be a reward, but the word itself implies that the reward is tainted, spoiled, by what you have to do to get it.14. A "drop" is a convertible, which makes you easy to touch. A "drop" is a convertible, which makes you easy to touch.15. The first and the fifteenth are the days when government checks went out, and the fiends would rush drug dealers to get fixed, blow their whole check on a weekend of smoke. The first and the fifteenth are the days when government checks went out, and the fiends would rush drug dealers to get fixed, blow their whole check on a weekend of smoke.16. I keep one eye open / like CBS I keep one eye open / like CBS-this is a line from "Can I Live."
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17. A drought is when your drug supply runs low. That's when you really find out who you are in the streets, because you have to figure out some way to survive it. It's also when things can get especially hectic and violent-in "Public Service Announcement," on the same album, I make the point: A drought is when your drug supply runs low. That's when you really find out who you are in the streets, because you have to figure out some way to survive it. It's also when things can get especially hectic and violent-in "Public Service Announcement," on the same album, I make the point: I get my / by any means on / whenever there's a drought / get your umbrellas out / because that's when I brain storm. I get my / by any means on / whenever there's a drought / get your umbrellas out / because that's when I brain storm.18. This is the sort of dramatic touch that you might see in a movie and think it's over the top, but this kind of thing really did happen, literally in the case of a famous gangster named Rich Porter. There was a high level of threat in the drug game, a high degree of ruthlessness and brutality, and, at its worst, it could reach this level, where your moms is getting your body parts in the mail. This is the sort of dramatic touch that you might see in a movie and think it's over the top, but this kind of thing really did happen, literally in the case of a famous gangster named Rich Porter. There was a high level of threat in the drug game, a high degree of ruthlessness and brutality, and, at its worst, it could reach this level, where your moms is getting your body parts in the mail.19. I'm not talking strictly romantically here-I'm talking about all the women who were in the game with me, who transported drugs and money, opened towns, and made connects. I'm not talking strictly romantically here-I'm talking about all the women who were in the game with me, who transported drugs and money, opened towns, and made connects.20. This line resolves one of the central contradictions in my thinking about my life. I always felt like I kept my eyes a little bit more wide open than other people around me did-not that I was smarter, but that I saw some things very clearly. I wasn't blind to the damage that I was causing myself and other people when I was in the game. I wasn't deluded about the fact that my motivations went beyond satisfying my basic material needs-that I also loved the excitement and the status of that life. I'll never say that, in the end, I got into the game because I wanted it; it was the This line resolves one of the central contradictions in my thinking about my life. I always felt like I kept my eyes a little bit more wide open than other people around me did-not that I was smarter, but that I saw some things very clearly. I wasn't blind to the damage that I was causing myself and other people when I was in the game. I wasn't deluded about the fact that my motivations went beyond satisfying my basic material needs-that I also loved the excitement and the status of that life. I'll never say that, in the end, I got into the game because I wanted it; it was the life I chose life I chose. On the other hand, I chose it in part because I didn't have a lot of other choices. I was born into a community that this country was trying to make disappear; was born at a time when drugs and guns were everywhere and jobs and education were much harder to find. In that sense, it was a life that chose me, a life I never would've pursued if I'd been born in different circumstances. But ultimately, the point of this song is that I don't blame anyone, I'm just trying to explain myself, tell you why I'm this way. It's my story, and I'm willing to own it.
HISTORY / FEATURING CEE-LO.
Back to Lyrics 1. I wrote this song after President Obama won the 2008 presidential election and performed it at one of the inaugural balls. It's a song like "I Know" and some other songs I've done, in that it's a sustained metaphor that I never break. It's a song that talks about victory and success and history in the largest, communal sense, but it does it, like most of my songs, through metaphors and deeply personal storytelling. It's a song that came out of the same ambition I had when I started: to use the specific stories of my life and the world I grew up in to tell the broadest story possible about what it means to be alive. I wrote this song after President Obama won the 2008 presidential election and performed it at one of the inaugural balls. It's a song like "I Know" and some other songs I've done, in that it's a sustained metaphor that I never break. It's a song that talks about victory and success and history in the largest, communal sense, but it does it, like most of my songs, through metaphors and deeply personal storytelling. It's a song that came out of the same ambition I had when I started: to use the specific stories of my life and the world I grew up in to tell the broadest story possible about what it means to be alive.
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2. This is a song that metaphorically turns the concepts of Victory, Defeat, Death, Success, and History into personalities-the first four are women, the last an unborn child. This is a song that metaphorically turns the concepts of Victory, Defeat, Death, Success, and History into personalities-the first four are women, the last an unborn child.3. The song is autobiographical: Victory for me was being an artist, making my living as a rapper. But it was elusive: for years I couldn't get a record deal. The song is autobiographical: Victory for me was being an artist, making my living as a rapper. But it was elusive: for years I couldn't get a record deal.4. In the metaphor, if I made love with Victory, the woman, we'd make History, the child; in real life, if I could become an artist, I'd have a chance to leave behind a legacy. In the metaphor, if I made love with Victory, the woman, we'd make History, the child; in real life, if I could become an artist, I'd have a chance to leave behind a legacy.5. Here, Defeat, my mistress, is the most painful kind of failure, the near miss. That's why Defeat is Victory's sister, they're close to each other, but also entirely different. That's how it felt to me-I felt so close to my dream, but fell just short. Here, Defeat, my mistress, is the most painful kind of failure, the near miss. That's why Defeat is Victory's sister, they're close to each other, but also entirely different. That's how it felt to me-I felt so close to my dream, but fell just short.6. I was already in the routine: I was working hard for Victory and when I failed, I had to find the strength to start the pursuit again. I was already in the routine: I was working hard for Victory and when I failed, I had to find the strength to start the pursuit again.7. At the end of the first verse, I'm living with Defeat, which meant I was still hustling in the streets. I didn't talk to other people about my dreams, I kept them to myself. But that didn't make me any less desperate for them to come true. At the end of the first verse, I'm living with Defeat, which meant I was still hustling in the streets. I didn't talk to other people about my dreams, I kept them to myself. But that didn't make me any less desperate for them to come true.8. I've taken another step away, beyond Defeat, Victory's sister. Now I'm just like I've taken another step away, beyond Defeat, Victory's sister. Now I'm just like FUCK IT, FUCK IT, living like a G, flirting with my new girl, Death. living like a G, flirting with my new girl, Death.9. A double-entendre: I was proactive, "headed to the street,"; but like a kid with acne who needs Proactiv, the skin medication, I couldn't face my old girl, Victory. So the line combines the boldness of a kid taking his fate into his hands, with the sense of shame that same kid has-"I couldn't face she"-for turning his back on his true dream. A double-entendre: I was proactive, "headed to the street,"; but like a kid with acne who needs Proactiv, the skin medication, I couldn't face my old girl, Victory. So the line combines the boldness of a kid taking his fate into his hands, with the sense of shame that same kid has-"I couldn't face she"-for turning his back on his true dream.10. Another new relationship enters: Success. This is what happens after the kid starts hustling. He finds "success," money, girls, a reputation, a nice car. But it's a cheap relationship and he knows it. Another new relationship enters: Success. This is what happens after the kid starts hustling. He finds "success," money, girls, a reputation, a nice car. But it's a cheap relationship and he knows it.11. The two references to "V" point to the two competing ideas of happiness: one is about Victory, a prize that no one else has touched; the other is about having enough money to get a V, a car that I could afford from "burning down the block." The two references to "V" point to the two competing ideas of happiness: one is about Victory, a prize that no one else has touched; the other is about having enough money to get a V, a car that I could afford from "burning down the block."12. Way back when I recorded "Streets Is Watching" I first made the point that if you let yourself get robbed, you're as good as dead-when people see you're soft, they're coming in for the kill anyway. Way back when I recorded "Streets Is Watching" I first made the point that if you let yourself get robbed, you're as good as dead-when people see you're soft, they're coming in for the kill anyway.13. Success-meaning winning on the block as a hustler-and Death and me are like three lovers. Success-meaning winning on the block as a hustler-and Death and me are like three lovers.14. Once I achieved the life of an artist, I never let it go. Once I achieved the life of an artist, I never let it go.15. The "stutter" is the baby, History, repeating itself. Victory is not just a matter of coming out with one hit, it's about trying to build a true legacy. The "stutter" is the baby, History, repeating itself. Victory is not just a matter of coming out with one hit, it's about trying to build a true legacy.16. The body of work you create is like the future of your past-it's the thing that tells people who you were, even after you're gone. The body of work you create is like the future of your past-it's the thing that tells people who you were, even after you're gone.17. This is something we all think about sometimes. How will we be remembered? In this song, I'm talking about creating a legacy that will speak for me after I'm gone, that will tell my story after I'm dead. This is something we all think about sometimes. How will we be remembered? In this song, I'm talking about creating a legacy that will speak for me after I'm gone, that will tell my story after I'm dead.18. My last will and testimony is the work I've done. It's imperfect, but there's no truer statement of who I am. The reason this book is ultimately about my lyrics, instead of being a typical autobiograpy, is that my creative work is my truest legacy, for better or worse. My last will and testimony is the work I've done. It's imperfect, but there's no truer statement of who I am. The reason this book is ultimately about my lyrics, instead of being a typical autobiograpy, is that my creative work is my truest legacy, for better or worse.19. This song, at its most basic, is about a hustler becoming a rapper. But I performed it at President Obama's inauguration, and it worked there, too. Beyond the specifics of my story, it's about a desire to get past defeat, to even get past the kind of success that leaves you feeling empty. It's about not compromising your ultimate ambition, no matter how distant the dream might seem. Electing a black man named Barack Obama President in the same country that elected George W. Bush-twice!-is as far-fetched as a hustler from Marcy performing at that President's inauguration. But it happened. This song, at its most basic, is about a hustler becoming a rapper. But I performed it at President Obama's inauguration, and it worked there, too. Beyond the specifics of my story, it's about a desire to get past defeat, to even get past the kind of success that leaves you feeling empty. It's about not compromising your ultimate ambition, no matter how distant the dream might seem. Electing a black man named Barack Obama President in the same country that elected George W. Bush-twice!-is as far-fetched as a hustler from Marcy performing at that President's inauguration. But it happened.