When we went to Payday to promote the song they gave us a box of flyers. Can you imagine that shit? Their budget could fit on a Kinko's receipt. Shit was so laughable. Some cats would've been derailed by lack of support from their label, but we had that plan. So we just hired Abdul Malik Abbott again and got on a plane to St. Thomas to shoot our own video for the song.
We shot "In My Lifetime" in the Caribbean, when other rappers were making videos at Coney Island (no disrespect to Nice & Smooth). We were filming on boats while dudes were dancing in alleys. The video wasn't aspirational. This was really the life we were living, before we'd even released a single. We'd always had pool parties, but this one was even more of a celebration. When I looked on the monitor and saw Ty-Ty and B-High having the time of their lives, I knew it's because they're proud that was doing the music thing, and doing it right.
The next record I did was "Dead Presidents." It was a strong single and we knew it, and we wanted it to pop in the biggest rap radio market, New York, which meant we had to get spins from Funkmaster Flex at Hot 97. Flex had become New York's hottest hip-hop DJ, with prime-time airspace on Hot 97 on the weekends and a huge Sunday night gig at the Tunnel, a megaclub in Manhattan. We tried everything we could do to get Flex to play "Dead Presidents," but this nigga was not seeing us. Irv Gotti, who I've known since I was in London with Jaz, was working with artists like Mic Geronimo. He had Flex's ear and just stalked him until he finally broke the record. Irv also met DJ Clue at a gas station and gave him the single like it was a drug deal or something. It was the first time we got an "add" on the radio. That was a major. Irv also gave us a great piece of advice. He told us "Dead Presidents" was a great record but too hard for a hit. He said the record on the flip side, "Ain't No Nigga," was the one that was going to get played in the clubs and on radio. He was right.
Still, on the strength of the heat from "Dead Presidents," Dame and I were in a position to finally negotiate a distribution deal that could support a national album release, which we did with Priority, an indie label. We had a small window of opportunity from the time Flex started playing it, in the beginning of 1996. I figured I had until that summer to complete an entire album, about three to four months from studio to packaged product with a marketing plan, and then we would be in a position to launch the label proper.
We locked out D&D studios and I would be in the lab by noon, going from one room to another working with producers. I was lucky to work with some remarkable producers for my first album. Clark and Ski from Original Flavor did a lot of the work. Ron G, Harlem's mix-tape king, had switched his format from cassette to CD, and he named his first CD release of the year "Dead Presidents." Being hot on mix tapes made it easier to work with a legendary producer like Premiere for "Friend or Foe." Talented people were coming out to help me with my debut, and I appreciated the love. I don't think I slept for weeks at a time back then. I was living off pure adrenaline.
When Big came through one of my sessions to see Clark, Clark played him the beat for "Brooklyn's Finest." He told Clark he had had to get on it. I remembered Big from Westinghouse; he was quiet like me, but I can distinctly recall passing him in the hallway and giving him the universal black-man-half-nod of recognition. This time around we clicked right away. More than anything, I love sharp people; men or women, nothing makes me like someone more than intelligence. Big was shy, but when he said something it was usually witty. I'm talkative when I get to know you, but before that I can be pretty economical with words. I'm more of a listener. to get on it. I remembered Big from Westinghouse; he was quiet like me, but I can distinctly recall passing him in the hallway and giving him the universal black-man-half-nod of recognition. This time around we clicked right away. More than anything, I love sharp people; men or women, nothing makes me like someone more than intelligence. Big was shy, but when he said something it was usually witty. I'm talkative when I get to know you, but before that I can be pretty economical with words. I'm more of a listener.
When Big said he wanted to get on the track, I went into the booth and started laying down vocals. Big was in the back of the room smoking and nodding. He didn't get on that night, though; he said he wanted to go home and think about his verses. In that moment, I gave his coming back to be on the song a fifty-percent chance of actually happening. There was a fifty-percent chance he was just talking shit like an industry nigga. We went to see Bernie Mack later that night and really clicked. He sent the song a couple weeks later.
Another collaboration on the album was with Foxy Brown. I knew Inga Marchand from before she did LL's "I Shot Ya" in the fall of 1995. She was a tough, pretty girl I knew from downtown Brooklyn and perfect for the concept I had for the song "Ain't No Nigga." One night I took a break from D&D to go to the Palladium-and when "Ain't No Nigga" came on, it seemed like every single person on every level of the club went to the dance floor. That night the phrase put your drinks down and report to the dance floor put your drinks down and report to the dance floor floated through my mind for the first time. [I'd later use it as an ad-lib on the single "Do It Again (Throw Your Hands Up)]." I had never seen anything like the response to that record. They played it seven times in a row and the audience went wild every time. floated through my mind for the first time. [I'd later use it as an ad-lib on the single "Do It Again (Throw Your Hands Up)]." I had never seen anything like the response to that record. They played it seven times in a row and the audience went wild every time.
BURNT IT ALL, THIS MUSIC IS WHERE I BURY THE ASHES AT.
When I was a kid, my parents had, like, a million records stacked to the ceiling in metal milk crates. They both loved music so much. When they did break up and get a divorce, sorting the records out was probably the biggest deal. I remember "Walking in Rhythm," by the Blackbyrds, "Love's Theme," by the Love Unlimited Orchestra, "Dancing Machine," by the Jackson 5, "Tell Me Something Good," by Rufus, "The Hustle," by Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony, "Slippery When Wet," by the Commodores, "Pick Up the Pieces," by the Average White Band, "It Only Takes a Minute," by Tavares, "(TSOP) The Sound of Philadelphia," by MFSB (Mother Father Sister Brother), the Superfly Superfly soundtrack by Curtis Mayfield, James Brown, Billy Paul, Honeycomb, Candi Staton, Rose Royce, the Staple Singers, the Sylvers, the O'Jays, Blue Magic, Main Ingredient, the Emotions, Chic, Heatwave, A Taste of Honey, Slave, Evelyn "Champagne" King, Con Funk Shun. If it was hot in the seventies my parents had it. They had a turntable, but they also had a reel-to-reel. My parents would blast those classics when we did our Saturday cleanup and when they came home from work. We'd be dancing in the living room, making our own soundtrack by Curtis Mayfield, James Brown, Billy Paul, Honeycomb, Candi Staton, Rose Royce, the Staple Singers, the Sylvers, the O'Jays, Blue Magic, Main Ingredient, the Emotions, Chic, Heatwave, A Taste of Honey, Slave, Evelyn "Champagne" King, Con Funk Shun. If it was hot in the seventies my parents had it. They had a turntable, but they also had a reel-to-reel. My parents would blast those classics when we did our Saturday cleanup and when they came home from work. We'd be dancing in the living room, making our own Soul Train Soul Train line with B-High, his sisters, and my sisters. I loved all music, but Michael Jackson more than anyone. My mother would play "Enjoy Yourself," by the Jacksons, and I would dance and sing and spin around. I'd make my sisters my backup singers. I remember those early days as the time that shaped my musical vocabulary. I remember the music making me feel good, bringing my family together, and more importantly, being a common passion my parents shared. line with B-High, his sisters, and my sisters. I loved all music, but Michael Jackson more than anyone. My mother would play "Enjoy Yourself," by the Jacksons, and I would dance and sing and spin around. I'd make my sisters my backup singers. I remember those early days as the time that shaped my musical vocabulary. I remember the music making me feel good, bringing my family together, and more importantly, being a common passion my parents shared.
That music from my childhood still lives in my music. From my very first album, a lot of the tracks I rapped over were built on a foundation of classic seventies soul. On Reasonable, Reasonable, we sampled the Ohio Players, the Stylistics, Isaac Hayes, and the Four Tops. we sampled the Ohio Players, the Stylistics, Isaac Hayes, and the Four Tops.
The music from that era was incredible, full of emotion. It could be exuberant like the Jackson 5 (who I would sample on songs like "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" later in my career) or passionate like Marvin Gaye records (whose "Soon I'll Be Loving You Again" I sampled on my American Gangster American Gangster album) or troubled and transcendent like Curtis Mayfield (I rapped over a snatch of his beautiful, mournful "Man, Oh Man" on "Go Crazy" with Jeezy). The songs carried in them the tension and energy of the era. The seventies were a strange time, especially in black America. The music was beautiful in part because it was keeping a kind of torch lit in a dark time. album) or troubled and transcendent like Curtis Mayfield (I rapped over a snatch of his beautiful, mournful "Man, Oh Man" on "Go Crazy" with Jeezy). The songs carried in them the tension and energy of the era. The seventies were a strange time, especially in black America. The music was beautiful in part because it was keeping a kind of torch lit in a dark time.
I feel like we-rappers, DJs, producers-were able to smuggle some of the magic of that dying civilization out in our music and use it to build a new world. We were kids without fathers, so we found our fathers on wax and on the streets and in history, and in a way, that was a gift: We got to pick and choose the ancestors who would inspire the world we were going to make for ourselves. That was part of the ethos of that time and place, and it got built in to the culture we created. Rap took the remnants of a dying society and created something new. Our fathers were gone, usually because they just bounced, but we took their old records and used them to build something fresh.
I remember that when I was a kid in the eighties every song I heard had some kind of innovation. From Run-DMC to LL to Slick Rick to Rakim to BDP to PE to Tribe, everything was fresh, even though it was all built on ruins-dusted-off soul and jazz samples, vocal samples from old Malcolm X speeches, the dissonant noise of urban life that genius producers like the Bomb Squad turned into music.
It wasn't just another youth culture; it was something new and transcendent, the kind of art that changes the paths of people's lives. I know that sounds overblown, but ask any kid of my generation-and this applies to black kids and white kids and kids in Indonesia and South Africa and Amsterdam-whether hip-hop changed their lives, and you'll see what I'm talking about. I'm not saying that these kids grew up to be rappers. I'm talking about kids who discovered politics from listening to Chuck D and were never the same. Or who felt connected to other eccentrics because of Tribe. Or whose love of language came directly from their first experience with Rakim. Or who got their sense of humor from Prince Paul skits or Biz Markie's rhyming about picking boogers. There's a whole generation who hear "Reminisce," by Pete Rock and CL Smooth, or Bone Thugs' "Crossroads," and connect it to their own personal tragedies. There are cats who felt like Cube was saying all the shit they'd get arrested for thinking; some felt like Scarface was telling their story. I know for a fact that there are kids who learned about and got real cozy with the Cali behind "The Chronic." Or who lost their virginity to don't stop, get it, get it don't stop, get it, get it and learned to respect women (or themselves as women) from Queen Latifah and Lauryn Hill. and learned to respect women (or themselves as women) from Queen Latifah and Lauryn Hill.
Rap started off so lawless, not giving a fuck about any rules or limits, that it was like a new frontier. We knew we were opening up new territory even if we left behind a whole country, or sometimes our own families. But we struck oil.
And it's not over. The beauty of hip-hop is that, as I said at the beginning, it found its story in the story of the hustler. But that's not its only story. At this point, it's a tool that can be used to find the truth in anything. I'm still rhyming-not about hustling in the same way I rhymed about it on my first album, but about the same underlying quest. The hook to that first single, "In My Lifetime," was sampled from Soul II Soul's "Get a Life," just these words repeated over and over and over again: What's the meaning? What's the meaning of life? That's the question rap was built on from the beginning and, through a million different paths, that's still its ultimate subject.
WE ARE REALLY HIGH, REALLY HIGH TONIGHT.
I hadn't been on vacation since I'd gotten serious about music, so I was happy to go to Miami to shoot the video for "Ain't No Nigga" with Foxy. Big was touring, but he took time out to fly down and make a cameo. Big loved to smoke, but I could count the number of times I'd smoked trees. Champagne and the occasional Malibu rum were my thing back then, but mostly I liked to stay sober, the better to stay focused on making money. I come from that class of hustlers who looked at smoking as counterproductive. We used to judge niggas who smoked as slackers, or workers. When I did smoke it was on vacation, in the islands.
But when Big asked me to smoke with him, I told myself, "Relax, you're not on the streets anymore." It was happening and I had to admit it. I was out of the Life. So I smoked with Big-and he smoked blunts. The last time I smoked, whenever that was, I'm sure I was hitting a joint. A couple hits later and I was high as shit, sitting there, feeling outside of time, slightly stuck, and laughing uncontrollably.
Big leans in so only I can hear him.
"I got ya."
That fucked me up. Big was a friend, but also a competitor. He gave me an important lesson at that moment. They call it the game, but it's not-you can want success all you want, but to get it, you can't falter. You can't slip. You can't sleep. One eye open, for real, and forever.
Big's joke was such a small thing, but I was like, fuck that. The director was setting up shots and all that, but I went to my room and sobered up for twenty minutes before I came downstairs. When I came down Big was laughing-his laughter was a beautiful thing, even when the joke was on me. This titme I leaned in close to him. "Never again, my nigga."
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When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time in my ride, speeding back and forth between Brooklyn and New Jersey, where I lived (and worked) part of the time. I-95 in New Jersey runs along the New Jersey Turnpike, a famously boring stretch of highway, but we'd keep it live by blasting Slick Rick till the speakers bled. Slick Rick was the wittiest shit out back then, but his sense of humor was like Eddie Murphy's or Richard Pryor's, dark and subversive. Maybe his eye patch and English accent had something to do with it, but he could make the rawest rhymes sound like Masterpiece Theatre, Masterpiece Theatre, just through the elegance of his style and his storytelling talent. He had the pimp's gift for talking shit but making it sound like a seduction. And he had the kind of style that hustlers aspired to: at ease with the culture and language of the streets, but with the style and swagger of a prince. He never hit a wrong note. Today people associate the whole gold jewelry and gold teeth thing with a kind of down-south country style, but when Rick first rocked it back in the eighties-complete with a cape and a Kangol-it was the essence of sophisticated street fashion. just through the elegance of his style and his storytelling talent. He had the pimp's gift for talking shit but making it sound like a seduction. And he had the kind of style that hustlers aspired to: at ease with the culture and language of the streets, but with the style and swagger of a prince. He never hit a wrong note. Today people associate the whole gold jewelry and gold teeth thing with a kind of down-south country style, but when Rick first rocked it back in the eighties-complete with a cape and a Kangol-it was the essence of sophisticated street fashion.
Back then I loved his song "Treat Her Like a Prostitute." It's a great, totally ignorant song (and I mean "ignorant" in the best possible sense). But Slick Rick also wrote some of the first rap songs that were genuinely sad-which sounds like a strange thing to say about Slick Rick. His songs were always energetic and hilarious but could also feel bluesy or even haunted, like his classic "Mona Lisa," which is a conversation between the rapper and a young girl he meets at a pizza shop. The two characters flirt with each other through clever disses (she said, "Great Scott, are you a thief/seems like you have a mouth full of gold teeth") but then Slick Rick's boy comes along, calls her a snake, and drags him away. The song ends with the narrator's wistful memory of the girl singing the chorus of "Walk On By" as he leaves. As the voice trails off, the beat goes on for a few bars. It forces you to sit with that sadness for a few seconds longer than you're comfortable.
Slick Rick was too much of an artist to come out with straight-up tearjerkers, but like all great comics he knew how to hide deeper emotions between the punch lines, emotions like regret and loss, the kind of feelings that could make you pause even while you were speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike on the way to your hustling spot. And he never lost his cool, never got weepy and sentimental; the emotion was real, but not a big production. He kept it clean and honest and respected his listeners enough not to manipulate them. In another of his classic songs, "A Children's Story," he tells a bedtime story to his nieces and nephews, a comic fable about a kid who becomes a thief. The song is kind of a slapstick caper, but then it takes a sudden turn: This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh/just another case 'bout the wrong path This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh/just another case 'bout the wrong path. Then the final word in the song changes the tone again: Goodnight! Goodnight! Uncle Ricky chirps. Is it a joke? Maybe. But those previous lines stick with you, and the laughter dies in your throat. Uncle Ricky chirps. Is it a joke? Maybe. But those previous lines stick with you, and the laughter dies in your throat.
NOT ONLY MONEY BUT ALL THE EMOTIONS GOING THROUGH US.
Slick Rick taught me that not only can rap be emotionally expressive, it can even express those feelings that you can't really name-which was important for me, and for lots of kids like me, who couldn't always find the language to make sense of our feelings. As an instrument for expressing emotion, rap is as good as the writer. If you're willing to put something into a song, the song can usually hold it.
Scarface is one of my favorite rappers and maybe the first truly great lyricist to come out of the South. He's known as a "rapper's rapper," and it's true, he gets respect across the board and his influence is enormous. His music is an extended autobiography and his ability to weave complicated emotions into his songs is uncanny. But where Slick Rick specialized in crisp rhyming that creates spaces where the listener can fill in emotions, Scarface's voice itself always seems filled to the top with feeling. Slick Rick keeps a certain distance from the listener; his songs are playful and witty. But Scarface always feels like he's rapping right in your ear, like the guy on the next bar stool unburdening himself of a story that keeps him up nights or a nightmare that comes back to him all day.
The power of his stories comes in part from his willingness to pull the covers off of taboos, to get into the shit that people pretend isn't really happening, whether he's rhyming about street life or about being in a mental institution.
His most famous verse-on the Geto Boys' "Mind Playing Tricks on Me"-is a great example. He's starts the song in the middle of a nightmare: At night I can't sleep, I toss and turn / candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies being burned. At night I can't sleep, I toss and turn / candlesticks in the dark, visions of bodies being burned. As the song progresses, you realize he's writing about an all-consuming paranoia, the kind that comes from a guilty conscience or even from a kind of raw self-hatred. (In the song he's being stalked by someone who As the song progresses, you realize he's writing about an all-consuming paranoia, the kind that comes from a guilty conscience or even from a kind of raw self-hatred. (In the song he's being stalked by someone who wears a black hat like I own/a black suit and a cane like my own, wears a black hat like I own/a black suit and a cane like my own, lines that are both beautifully structured and cinematic.) lines that are both beautifully structured and cinematic.) Even though the two are probably opposites in a lot of ways, Slick Rick and Scarface share that ability to get under your skin by dredging up the kinds of emotions that young men don't normally talk about with each other: regret, longing, fear, and even self-reproach. It's always been my ambition to do the same, because you don't spend every moment of every day as a fucking killing machine. That's the stereotype of young black men, of course. And sometimes we play along with it. But it's not true, even when we wish it was.
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DON'T GRIEVE FOR ME, MY ART REMAINS I've done a couple of collaborations with Scarface, and they're always pretty intense. The first one was on the Dynasty Dynasty album, a song with me and Beanie Sigel called "This Can't Be Life." The track we were rapping over was an early Kanye production, driven by a sample from "Miss You," by Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, with big strings. Strings always pull me into a pretty deep place, in terms of the feelings and ideas they bring up. On my verse I went into some dark personal storytelling about a time in my life when I felt truly confused and lost, between worlds, the voice in my head screaming at me to leave the street shit alone, while outside I watched Big and Nas blowing up. On top of that, I've got heartbreaking personal issues dogging me. album, a song with me and Beanie Sigel called "This Can't Be Life." The track we were rapping over was an early Kanye production, driven by a sample from "Miss You," by Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, with big strings. Strings always pull me into a pretty deep place, in terms of the feelings and ideas they bring up. On my verse I went into some dark personal storytelling about a time in my life when I felt truly confused and lost, between worlds, the voice in my head screaming at me to leave the street shit alone, while outside I watched Big and Nas blowing up. On top of that, I've got heartbreaking personal issues dogging me.
It was a verse about fear of failure, which is something that everyone goes through, but no one, particularly where I'm from, wants to really talk about. But it's a song that a lot of people connect to: The thought that "this can't be life" is one that all of us have felt at some point or another, when bad decisions and bad luck and bad situations feel like too much to bear, those times when we think that this, this, this, can't be my story. But facing up to that kind of feeling can be a powerful motivation to change. It was for me. can't be my story. But facing up to that kind of feeling can be a powerful motivation to change. It was for me.
On the day we were supposed to be recording Scarface's verse, we were all just sort of sprawled out, bullshitting in the front room at Bassline Studios, which was the home studio for Roc-A-Fella Records. We had a pool table and some couches and we were just shooting, joking around with my engineer, Guru, and getting ready to go into the booth. Then Scarface's phone rang, and as soon as he picked it up, the look on his face changed. He kept saying the same thing over and over again, "Nahh...nahhh, man..." Then he was quiet for a while. When he hung up, he told us what happened. His homeboy had called to tell him that a friend of theirs had just lost one of his kids in a fire. We're all just sitting there like, Fuck. Fuck. Then Scarface was back on the phone to his own wife to tell her the news and to check on how his own kids were doing. Then Scarface was back on the phone to his own wife to tell her the news and to check on how his own kids were doing.
When he got off the phone I told him, "Yo, we'll get the verse another time." He shook his head. "Nah, Jig, nah, I'll do it now." He went off on his own for a while to compose his verse. When he came into the booth to record, he laid down the verse that's on the album in one take. His first lines were, Now as I walk into the studio to do this with Jig, I got a phone call from one of my nigs. Now as I walk into the studio to do this with Jig, I got a phone call from one of my nigs.
Scarface turned that moment of pain instantly into a great piece of writing, which he followed with a powerful vocal performance. It was incredible to watch. But really, what he did was to just compress the normal act of hip-hop songwriting into a matter of minutes. The raw material of life got mixed into that song, for real-in this case, the sudden sadness of life. But the great hip-hop writers don't really discriminate. They take whatever's at hand and churn it into their work. Whatever feeling demands a release at a given moment finds its way out in the songs. The music is as deep and varied as life.
REGRETS1.
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Not Everyone Wakes Up Feeling Invincible. (1:40) I sold it all from crack to opium,2 in third person in third person3 / I don't wanna see 'em, so I'm rehearsin / / I don't wanna see 'em, so I'm rehearsin / with my peoples how to g 'em with my peoples how to g 'em4, from a remote location / in the BM, scopin the whole situation in the BM, scopin the whole situation5 like, "Dayamm!" / like, "Dayamm!" / Metamorphic, as the dope turns to cream Metamorphic, as the dope turns to cream6 / / but one of these buyers got eyes like a Korean but one of these buyers got eyes like a Korean7 / It's difficult to read 'em, the windows to his soul / are half closed, I put the key in / Pulled off slow, hopin my people fleein / It's difficult to read 'em, the windows to his soul / are half closed, I put the key in / Pulled off slow, hopin my people fleein8 / / Chink tried to knock the only link that tied me in Chink tried to knock the only link that tied me in9 / Coppers was watchin us through nighttime binoculars / This time they got us on tape, exchangin dope for dollars / Make me wanna holler back at the crib in the sauna / Prayin my people bailed out like Time Warner / / Coppers was watchin us through nighttime binoculars / This time they got us on tape, exchangin dope for dollars / Make me wanna holler back at the crib in the sauna / Prayin my people bailed out like Time Warner / Awaitin call, from his kin not the coroner Awaitin call, from his kin not the coroner10 / Phone in my hand, nervous confined to a corner / Beads of sweat second thoughts on my mind / / Phone in my hand, nervous confined to a corner / Beads of sweat second thoughts on my mind / How can I ease the stress and learn to live with these regrets How can I ease the stress and learn to live with these regrets11 / This time...stress...givin this shit up... fuck / This is the number one rule for your set / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / On the rise to the top, many drop, don't forget / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / This is the number one rule for your set / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / And through our travels we get separated, never forget / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / As sure as this Earth is turning souls burning / / This time...stress...givin this shit up... fuck / This is the number one rule for your set / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / On the rise to the top, many drop, don't forget / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / This is the number one rule for your set / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / And through our travels we get separated, never forget / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets / As sure as this Earth is turning souls burning / in search of higher learning turning in every direction seeking direction in search of higher learning turning in every direction seeking direction12 / My moms cryin cause her insides are dyin / her son tryin her patience, keep her heart racin / / My moms cryin cause her insides are dyin / her son tryin her patience, keep her heart racin / A million beats a minute, I know I push you to your limit A million beats a minute, I know I push you to your limit13 / but it's this game love, I'm caught up all in it / They make it so you can't prevent it, never give it / you gotta take it, can't fake it I keep it authentic / / but it's this game love, I'm caught up all in it / They make it so you can't prevent it, never give it / you gotta take it, can't fake it I keep it authentic / My hand got this pistol shakin, cause I sense danger My hand got this pistol shakin, cause I sense danger14 / like Camp Crystal Lake and / don't wanna shoot him, but I got him trapped / / like Camp Crystal Lake and / don't wanna shoot him, but I got him trapped / within this infrared dot, bout to hot him and hit rock bottom within this infrared dot, bout to hot him and hit rock bottom15 / No answers to these trick questions, no time shit stressin / My life found I gotta live for the right now / Time waits for no man, can't turn back the hands / / No answers to these trick questions, no time shit stressin / My life found I gotta live for the right now / Time waits for no man, can't turn back the hands / once it's too late, once it's too late,16 gotta learn to live with regrets / You used to hold me, told me that I was the best / Anything in this world I want I could possess / gotta learn to live with regrets / You used to hold me, told me that I was the best / Anything in this world I want I could possess / All that made me want is all that I could get All that made me want is all that I could get17 / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets...(when I was young) / I found myself reminiscin, remember this one / / In order to survive, gotta learn to live with regrets...(when I was young) / I found myself reminiscin, remember this one / when he was here he was crazy nice with his son when he was here he was crazy nice with his son18 / I miss him, long as I'm livin he's livin through memories / He's there to kill all my suicidal tendencies / / I miss him, long as I'm livin he's livin through memories / He's there to kill all my suicidal tendencies / In heaven lookin over me, or in hell, keepin it cozy In heaven lookin over me, or in hell, keepin it cozy / / I'm comin I'm comin19 life on these streets ain't what it's supposed to be / Remember Newton, mutual friend well me and him feudin / life on these streets ain't what it's supposed to be / Remember Newton, mutual friend well me and him feudin / On your life I tried to talk to him On your life I tried to talk to him20 / But you know niggaz, think they guns can stop four niggaz / / But you know niggaz, think they guns can stop four niggaz / Frontin like they're Big Willie but really owe niggaz / Hoe niggaz, Frontin like they're Big Willie but really owe niggaz / Hoe niggaz,21 this year I'm sho' niggaz think I'm slippin / this year I'm sho' niggaz think I'm slippin / I'm 'bout to send you a roommate, no bullshittin / for my hustle's goin too well to hit him I'm 'bout to send you a roommate, no bullshittin / for my hustle's goin too well to hit him22 / You was right niggaz want you to be miserable wit em/ Anyway, I ain't tryin to hear it, I think I'm touched / / You was right niggaz want you to be miserable wit em/ Anyway, I ain't tryin to hear it, I think I'm touched / this whole verse I been talkin to your spirit a little too much this whole verse I been talkin to your spirit a little too much23
THIS CAN'T BE LIFE / FEATURING BEANIE SIGEL AND SCARFACE [image]
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I'm Gonna Be a Failure. (0:39) [Jay-Z] / Geah...whassup? / Where's all my street niggaz, project niggaz / Real niggas, worldwide / Let's reflect...e'rybody got a story / We all ghetto B-here's mine / Geah / See I was-born in sewage, born to make bomb music1 / / Flow tight like I was born Jewish Flow tight like I was born Jewish2 / Used the streets as a conduit- / Used the streets as a conduit-I kept arms / 38 longs3 inside my mom's Buick/ At any given moment Shawn could lose it, be on the news / inside my mom's Buick/ At any given moment Shawn could lose it, be on the news / Iron cuffs-arms through it; Iron cuffs-arms through it;4 or stuffed with embalmin fluid / Shit, I'm goin through it-mom dukes too / Tears streamin down her pretty face, she got her palms to it / My life is gettin too wild / I need to bring some sorta calm to it / or stuffed with embalmin fluid / Shit, I'm goin through it-mom dukes too / Tears streamin down her pretty face, she got her palms to it / My life is gettin too wild / I need to bring some sorta calm to it / 'Bout to lose it; voices screamin "Don't do it!" 'Bout to lose it; voices screamin "Don't do it!"5/ It's like '93, '94, 'bout the year / that Big and Mac dropped; that Big and Mac dropped;6 and and Illmatic Illmatic rocked / outta every rag drop, and the West had it locked / Everybody doin 'em, I'm still scratchin on the block / rocked / outta every rag drop, and the West had it locked / Everybody doin 'em, I'm still scratchin on the block / like "Damn; I'ma be a failure" like "Damn; I'ma be a failure"7 / Surrounded by thugs, drugs, and drug paraphernalia / Cops courts and their thoughts is to derail us / / Surrounded by thugs, drugs, and drug paraphernalia / Cops courts and their thoughts is to derail us / Three-time felons in shorts Three-time felons in shorts8 with jealous thoughts / Tryin figure where your mail is, guesstimate the weight you sellin / So they can send shots straight to your melon; wait! / It gets worse, baby momma water burst / with jealous thoughts / Tryin figure where your mail is, guesstimate the weight you sellin / So they can send shots straight to your melon; wait! / It gets worse, baby momma water burst / Baby came out stillborn, still I gotta move on Baby came out stillborn, still I gotta move on9 / Though my heart still torn, life gone from her womb / Don't worry, if it was meant to be, it'll be-soon / [ / Though my heart still torn, life gone from her womb / Don't worry, if it was meant to be, it'll be-soon / [Chorus] This can't be life, this can't be love / This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us / This can't be life, this can't be love / This can't be right, there's gotta be more, this can't be us / [Scarface] / Yeah...uhh.../ Now as I walk into the studio, to do this with Jig' / I got a phone call from one of my nigs / Said my homeboy Reek, he just lost one of his kids / And when I heard that I just broke into tears / And see in the second hand; you don't really know how this is / But when it hits that close to home you feel the pain at the crib / So I called mine, and saddened my wife with the bad news / Now we both depressed, countin our blessings cause Brad's two / Prayin for young souls to laugh at life through the stars / Lovin your kids just like you was ours / And I'm hurtin for you dog; but ain't nobody pain is like yours / I just know that heaven'll open these doors / And ain't no bright side to losin life; but you can view it like this / God's got open hands homey, he in the midst of good company / Who loves all and hates not one / And one day you gon' be wit your son / I could've rapped about my hard times on this song / But heaven knows I woulda been wrong / I wouldn'ta been right, it wouldn'ta been love / It wouldn'ta been life, it wouldn'ta been us / This can't be life / [Chorus] / [Jay-Z ] / This can't be life. ] / This can't be life.
SOON YOU'LL UNDERSTAND1 [image]
You're my best friend's sister, grown woman and all / But you see how I am around girls; I ruin 'em all But you see how I am around girls; I ruin 'em all2/ Plus your mom call me son, around you since I was small / Shit I watched you mature-nah, this ain't right Shit I watched you mature-nah, this ain't right3 / But still when your boyfriend ditched you, life's a bitch you cried / Over my right shoulder I told you to wipe your eyes / Take your time when you likin a guy / / But still when your boyfriend ditched you, life's a bitch you cried / Over my right shoulder I told you to wipe your eyes / Take your time when you likin a guy / Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die Cause if he sense that your feelings too intense, it's pimp or die4 / I bought you earrings on your birthday / / I bought you earrings on your birthday / Drove you to college your first day Drove you to college your first day5 / It must be sad, though it hurts to say / We could never be a item, don't even like him / / It must be sad, though it hurts to say / We could never be a item, don't even like him / You deserve better-this is ugly; Gina, please don't love me You deserve better-this is ugly; Gina, please don't love me6 / There's better guys out there other than me / (You need a lawyer or a doctor or somebody like that you know) / Like a lawyer or a doctor with a Ph.D. / Think of how upset your mother and brother would be / / There's better guys out there other than me / (You need a lawyer or a doctor or somebody like that you know) / Like a lawyer or a doctor with a Ph.D. / Think of how upset your mother and brother would be / if they found that you was huggin me if they found that you was huggin me7 / My conscience is fuckin with me / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / Man, I look in the eyes of a.../ this...a kid that stole life we made together.../ We're tryin, really tryin to make it work / I'm young, and I ain't ready, and I told you / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit / When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience / Now it's too late, we got a little life together / and in my mind I really want you to be my wife forever / / My conscience is fuckin with me / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / Man, I look in the eyes of a.../ this...a kid that stole life we made together.../ We're tryin, really tryin to make it work / I'm young, and I ain't ready, and I told you / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / It ain't like, I ain't tell you from day one, I ain't shit / When it comes to relationships, I don't have the patience / Now it's too late, we got a little life together / and in my mind I really want you to be my wife forever / But in the physical it's like I'ma be trife forever But in the physical it's like I'ma be trife forever8 / A different girl every night forever; told you to leave / but you're stubborn and you love him and, / no matter what despite all the fuckin and the cheatin, / you still won't leave him, now you're grievin / And I feel bad, believe me / / A different girl every night forever; told you to leave / but you're stubborn and you love him and, / no matter what despite all the fuckin and the cheatin, / you still won't leave him, now you're grievin / And I feel bad, believe me / But I'm young and I ain't ready, and this ain't easy But I'm young and I ain't ready, and this ain't easy9 / Wasn't fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate / You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through / / Wasn't fair to tell you to wait, so I told you to skate / You chose not to, now look at the shit we gotta go through / Don't want to fight, don't want to fuss, you the mother of my baby Don't want to fight, don't want to fuss, you the mother of my baby10 / I don't want you to hate me, this is about us / / I don't want you to hate me, this is about us / Rather me; I ain't ready to be what you want me to be Rather me; I ain't ready to be what you want me to be / / Because I love you, I want you to leave, please Because I love you, I want you to leave, please11 / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / Mm...listen ma / I mean, I seen you workin two or three jobs / Daddy left...I thought I was makin things better / I made it worse / Let him hold you, let him touch you/ Soon you'll un-der-stand / / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / Mm...listen ma / I mean, I seen you workin two or three jobs / Daddy left...I thought I was makin things better / I made it worse / Let him hold you, let him touch you/ Soon you'll un-der-stand / Dear ma, I'm in the cell, lonely as hell Dear ma, I'm in the cell, lonely as hell12 / Writin this scribe, thinkin bout how you must feel inside / / Writin this scribe, thinkin bout how you must feel inside / You tried to teach me better, but I refused to grow You tried to teach me better, but I refused to grow13 / Goddamn I ain't the young man that you used to know / You said the street claims lives, but I wanted things like / bling bling ice I was wrong in hindsight / Shit we grew apart, try to blame it on your new spouse / I know it hurt like hell the day you kicked me out / But your house is your house, I ain't respect the rules/ I brought crack past your door, beefed with rival crews / And who wants to be the mother of a son who sold drugs / Co-workers saw me on the corner slingin Larry Love / Meanwhile, you workin hard like, two or three jobs / Tryin to feed me and my siblings, makin an honest livin / Who am I kiddin I call myself easin the load / I made the load heavy, I need money for commissary / Try to understand, please / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand / Goddamn I ain't the young man that you used to know / You said the street claims lives, but I wanted things like / bling bling ice I was wrong in hindsight / Shit we grew apart, try to blame it on your new spouse / I know it hurt like hell the day you kicked me out / But your house is your house, I ain't respect the rules/ I brought crack past your door, beefed with rival crews / And who wants to be the mother of a son who sold drugs / Co-workers saw me on the corner slingin Larry Love / Meanwhile, you workin hard like, two or three jobs / Tryin to feed me and my siblings, makin an honest livin / Who am I kiddin I call myself easin the load / I made the load heavy, I need money for commissary / Try to understand, please / Let him hold you, let him touch you / Soon you'll un-der-stand[image]
My grandfather was a pastor-an Elder, they called them-in the Church of God in Christ, a Pentecostal denomination. He had the same name as my father, Abnis Reid, so they called my father AJ, for Abnis Junior. My grandmother Ruby was a deaconess in the same church. My father came from a strict, religious household, but sanctified churches are rooted in African traditions, so music, especially drumming-even if it's only drumming by clapping your hands together-played a big part of the service. Worship is never a quiet thing in the Church of God in Christ congregation, people passing out, speaking in tongues, or tarrying for hours until they become possessed with the Holy Ghost and the church mothers, dressed in nurse's uniforms, come and revive them.
My father's parents were strict. Secular music like the Motown sound was forbidden in AJ's house, but he snuck and listened anyway. The whole family had to be in church all the time, like four, five days a week. His three sisters couldn't wear makeup or pants, and his two brothers spent most of the week in church, too.
Church wasn't a major part of my life growing up, as it had been for my father-soul in our house usually referred to the music. But when you grow up in a place like Bed-Stuy, church is everywhere. So is mosque. So are a thousand other ways of believing. Street corners were where all these different beliefs met-Pentecostals arguing scripture with Jehovah's Witnesses, clean-cut brothers in bow ties and dark suits brushing past cats wearing fezzes and long beards, someone with a bullhorn or a mic and an amplifier booming out a sermon. We were all just living life, trying to get through, survive, thrive, whatever, but in the back of our minds, there was always a larger plan that we tried to make sense of. I was always fascinated by religion and curious about people's different ideas. And like everyone, I've always wanted answers to the basic questions. Still, by the time I reached my teens, the only time I'd be anywhere near a church was when someone I knew died, and even then I wouldn't necessarily go in. But I wasn't looking for church, anyway; I was looking for an explanation.
YOU AIN'T GOTTA GO TO CHURCH TO GET TO KNOW YO GOD I think for some people life is always like those street corners in Brooklyn, with everyone arguing for the superiority of their own beliefs. I believe that religion is the thing that separates and controls people. I don't believe in the fire-and-brimstone shit, the idea that God will punish people for eternity in a burning hell. I believe in one God. That's the thing that makes the most sense to me. There's wisdom in all kinds of religious traditions-I'll take from Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, whatever. The parts that make the most sense feel like they're coming from the same voice, the same God. Most of all, I don't think what I believe should matter to anyone else; I'm not trying to stop anyone from believing whatever they want. I believe in God, and that's really enough for me.
I don't spend a lot of time on records talking about spiritual ideas in an explicit way, although I think a lot of my music sneaks in those big questions-of good and evil, fate and destiny, suffering and inequality. I think about life mostly in pragmatic terms: I think about behavior and intention in the here and now. But I also think about Karma. It's a complicated idea that I've tried to make sense of. At the heart of a lot of these competing ideas of the afterlife and heaven and hell and thug angels and all that is the idea that if the universe is just, things have to even out eventually, somehow. And sometimes that's a scary thought.
I've done things I know are wrong. There are times when I feel like I've suffered for those things, that I've paid back for my mistakes in spades. But then there are times when I look around me, at the life I have today, and think I'm getting away with murder. It's something a lot of us who come from hard places go through, and maybe we feel a certain amount of survivor's guilt for it. I never imagined I'd be where I am today. There's a line in Fade to Black, Fade to Black, the concert film we did for the concert film we did for The Black Album, The Black Album, where I say, "I sometimes step back and see myself from the outside and say, who is that guy?" Over time I've worked to get more clarity about my past and present and to unify my outside shell and soul, but it's ongoing. Inside, there's still part of me that expects to wake up tomorrow in my bedroom in apartment 5C in Marcy, slide on my gear, run down the pissy stairway, and hit the block, one eye over my shoulder. where I say, "I sometimes step back and see myself from the outside and say, who is that guy?" Over time I've worked to get more clarity about my past and present and to unify my outside shell and soul, but it's ongoing. Inside, there's still part of me that expects to wake up tomorrow in my bedroom in apartment 5C in Marcy, slide on my gear, run down the pissy stairway, and hit the block, one eye over my shoulder.
SENSITIVE THUGS, YOU'LL ALL NEED HUGS Sometimes this uneasiness comes out in my songwriting. I was on vacation when I started writing "Beach Chair." This was after my semiretirement with The Black Album The Black Album and I was really trying to sit back for the first time in my life and get off the grind for a minute. My vacation of choice-even back before I got into music-has always involved water and warmth. I wanted to write a song that matched my mood, a song about the good life. But almost immediately, the song went left. It begins with the line "Life is but a dream to me" but turns into a meditation on ambition and the laws of the universe, on questions I can still only ask but not fully answer. and I was really trying to sit back for the first time in my life and get off the grind for a minute. My vacation of choice-even back before I got into music-has always involved water and warmth. I wanted to write a song that matched my mood, a song about the good life. But almost immediately, the song went left. It begins with the line "Life is but a dream to me" but turns into a meditation on ambition and the laws of the universe, on questions I can still only ask but not fully answer.
It's a song that I think of as one of the hidden jewels in my catalog. Some people absolutely love the song, but other people find it confusing and out of character. But just as I tried to do something a little different on my first album-get deep inside the conflicted mind of the hustler-I'm still trying to push hip-hop into new places. In the song "Regrets," off my first album, there's a line addressed to my mother-you used to hold me, tell me that I was the best-that can almost be taken as soft. But what, niggas are supposed to be so hard that their mothers never held them? It's kind of ridiculous. In "Streets Is Talking," off of the Dynasty album, in the middle of a pretty hardcore song I threw out a line about my father leaving me-I ain't mad at you dad, holla at your lad-which might seem odd, because shouldn't I just be saying, Fuck you, dad, I hope you die, instead of opening myself up to be played by the man who abandoned me? But that feeling was real; I couldn't deny it. Honest introspection has always been one of the tools I use in my rhymes. Songs like "Beach Chair" are just an evolution of that same technique applied to broader questions, the kind of questions that even the grimiest street cat wakes up wondering about at three in the morning.
I think for hip-hop to grow to its potential and stay relevant for another generation we have to keep pushing deeper and deeper into the biggest subjects and doing it with real honesty. The truth is always relevant.
BEACH CHAIR / FEATURING CHRIS MARTIN.
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Did It Cost Me too Much? (0:40) Life is but a dream to me1 / I don't wanna wake up / Thirty odd years without having my cake up / So I'm about my paper / / I don't wanna wake up / Thirty odd years without having my cake up / So I'm about my paper / 24-7, 365, 366 in a leap year 24-7, 365, 366 in a leap year2 / / I don't know why we here I don't know why we here3 / Since we gotta be here / Life is but a beach chair / Went from having shabby clothes / / Since we gotta be here / Life is but a beach chair / Went from having shabby clothes / Crossing over Abbey Road Crossing over Abbey Road4 / Hear my angels singing to me / / Hear my angels singing to me / Are you happy HOV? Are you happy HOV?5/ I just hope I'm hearing right I just hope I'm hearing right6 / Karma's got me fearing life / / Karma's got me fearing life / Colleek are you praying for me Colleek are you praying for me7 / See I got demons in my past / So I got daughters on the way / If the prophecy's correct / / See I got demons in my past / So I got daughters on the way / If the prophecy's correct / Then the child should have to pay Then the child should have to pay8 / For the sins of a father / So I barter my tomorrows / Against my yesterdays / / For the sins of a father / So I barter my tomorrows / Against my yesterdays / In hopes that she'll be OK In hopes that she'll be OK9 / And when I'm no longer here / To shade her face from the glare / / And when I'm no longer here / To shade her face from the glare / I'll give her my share of Carol's Daughter I'll give her my share of Carol's Daughter10 / and a new beach chair / Life is but a dream to me / Gun shots sing to these / Other guys but lullabies / / and a new beach chair / Life is but a dream to me / Gun shots sing to these / Other guys but lullabies / Don't mean a thing to me Don't mean a thing to me11 / I'm not afraid of dying / I'm afraid of not trying / Everyday hit every wave / Like I'm Hawaiian / I don't surf the net / No I never been on MySpace/ Too busy letting my voice vibrate / / I'm not afraid of dying / I'm afraid of not trying / Everyday hit every wave / Like I'm Hawaiian / I don't surf the net / No I never been on MySpace/ Too busy letting my voice vibrate / Carving out my space Carving out my space12 / In this world of fly girls / Cutthroats & diamond cut ropes I twirls / Benzes round corners / Where the sun don't shine / I let the wheels give a glimpse / / In this world of fly girls / Cutthroats & diamond cut ropes I twirls / Benzes round corners / Where the sun don't shine / I let the wheels give a glimpse / Of hope of one's grind Of hope of one's grind13 / Some said HOV, how you get so fly / / Some said HOV, how you get so fly / I said from not being afraid to fall out the sky I said from not being afraid to fall out the sky14 / My physical's a shell / So when I say farewell / My soul will find an even / Higher plane to dwell / So fly you shall / / My physical's a shell / So when I say farewell / My soul will find an even / Higher plane to dwell / So fly you shall / So have no fear, So have no fear,15 just know that / Life is but a beach chair / Life is but a dream / Can't mimic my life / I'm the thinnest cut slice / Intercut, the winner's cup / With winters rough enough / just know that / Life is but a beach chair / Life is but a dream / Can't mimic my life / I'm the thinnest cut slice / Intercut, the winner's cup / With winters rough enough / To interrupt life To interrupt life16 / That's why I'm both / The saint and the sinner / Nice / / That's why I'm both / The saint and the sinner / Nice / This is Jay everyday This is Jay everyday17 / No compromise / No compass comes with this life / Just eyes / So to map it out / You must look inside / Sure books can guide you / / No compromise / No compass comes with this life / Just eyes / So to map it out / You must look inside / Sure books can guide you / But your heart defines you But your heart defines you18 / Chica / You corason is what brought us home / In great shape like Heidi Klum / Maricon, I am on / Permanent Vaca / Life is but a beach chair / This song is like a Hallmark card / Until you reach here / So till she's here / And she declared / The heir / I will prepare / A blueprint for you to print / A map for you to get back / A guide for your eyes / And so you won't lose scent / I'll make a stink for you to think / I ink these verses full of prose / / Chica / You corason is what brought us home / In great shape like Heidi Klum / Maricon, I am on / Permanent Vaca / Life is but a beach chair / This song is like a Hallmark card / Until you reach here / So till she's here / And she declared / The heir / I will prepare / A blueprint for you to print / A map for you to get back / A guide for your eyes / And so you won't lose scent / I'll make a stink for you to think / I ink these verses full of prose / So you won't get conned out of two cent So you won't get conned out of two cent19 / My last will and testament I leave my heir / My share of Roc-A-Fella Records and a shiny new beach chair / My last will and testament I leave my heir / My share of Roc-A-Fella Records and a shiny new beach chair
LUCIFER.
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Lucifer, son of the morning! / I'm gonna chase you out of Earth I'm gonna chase you out of Earth / / Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morn-ing... Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morn-ing...1 / (I'm from the murder capital, where we murder for capital) / Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning!/ I'm gonna chase you out of Earth / (Kanyeeze you did it again, you're a genius nigga!) / Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning.../ So you niggas change your attitude / 'Fore they asking what happened to you / / (I'm from the murder capital, where we murder for capital) / Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning!/ I'm gonna chase you out of Earth / (Kanyeeze you did it again, you're a genius nigga!) / Lucifer, Lucifer, son of the morning.../ So you niggas change your attitude / 'Fore they asking what happened to you / Lord forgive him Lord forgive him / / He got them dark forces in him He got them dark forces in him / / But he also got a righteous cause for sinning But he also got a righteous cause for sinning2 / / Them a murder me so I gotta murder them first Them a murder me so I gotta murder them first3 / Emergency doctors performing procedures / Jesus / I ain't trying to be facetious / / Emergency doctors performing procedures / Jesus / I ain't trying to be facetious / But "Vengeance is mine" said the Lord / You said it better than all But "Vengeance is mine" said the Lord / You said it better than all4 / Leave niggas on death's door / Breathing off respirators / / Leave niggas on death's door / Breathing off respirators / for killing my best boy, for killing my best boy,5 haters / On permanent hiatus as I skate / In the Maybach Benz / haters / On permanent hiatus as I skate / In the Maybach Benz / Flyer than Sanaa Lathan Flyer than Sanaa Lathan / / Pumping "Brown Sugar" by D'Angelo Pumping "Brown Sugar" by D'Angelo6 / / in Los Angeles. in Los Angeles.7 Like an Like an evangelist evangelist8 / I can introduce you to your maker / / I can introduce you to your maker / Bring you closer to nature Bring you closer to nature / / Ashes after they cremate you Ashes after they cremate you9 bastards / Hope you been reading your psalms and chapters / bastards / Hope you been reading your psalms and chapters / Paying your tithes being good Catholics Paying your tithes being good Catholics10 / / I'm coming I'm coming11/ Yes / This is holy war / I wet you all with the holy water I wet you all with the holy water / / spray from the Heckler Koch auto- spray from the Heckler Koch auto- / / matic all the static shall cease to exist matic all the static shall cease to exist / / Like a sabbatical I throw a couple at you Like a sabbatical I throw a couple at you / / Take six Take six / / Spread love Spread love12 to all of my dead thugs / I'll pour out a little Louis 'til I head above / Yes Sir / And when I perish / The meek shall inherit the earth / Until that time it's on a poppin, to all of my dead thugs / I'll pour out a little Louis 'til I head above / Yes Sir / And when I perish / The meek shall inherit the earth / Until that time it's on a poppin, Church! Church! / / Like Don Bishop Like Don Bishop13 / the fifth upon cock either / Lift up your soul or give you the holy ghost please / / the fifth upon cock either / Lift up your soul or give you the holy ghost please / I leave ya in somebody's Cathedral I leave ya in somebody's Cathedral14 / For stunting like Evel Knievel / I'll let you see where that bright light lead you / The more you talk the more you irking us / The more you gonna need memorial services / / For stunting like Evel Knievel / I'll let you see where that bright light lead you / The more you talk the more you irking us / The more you gonna need memorial services / The Black Album The Black Album's second verse is like devil's pie please save some dessert for us15 / Man I gotta get my soul right / I gotta get these devils out my life / These cowards gonna make a nigga ride / They won't be happy 'til somebody dies / Man I gotta get my soul right / 'Fore I'm locked up for my whole life / Every time it seems it's all right / Somebody want they soul to rise / (I'll chase you off of this Earth) / I got dreams of holding a nine milla / / Man I gotta get my soul right / I gotta get these devils out my life / These cowards gonna make a nigga ride / They won't be happy 'til somebody dies / Man I gotta get my soul right / 'Fore I'm locked up for my whole life / Every time it seems it's all right / Somebody want they soul to rise / (I'll chase you off of this Earth) / I got dreams of holding a nine milla / To Bob's killer To Bob's killer16 / Asking him "Why?" as my eyes fill up / / Asking him "Why?" as my eyes fill up / These days I can't wake up with a dry pillow These days I can't wake up with a dry pillow17 / Gone but not forgotten homes I still feel ya / So...curse the day that birthed the bastard / Who caused your Church mass / / Gone but not forgotten homes I still feel ya / So...curse the day that birthed the bastard / Who caused your Church mass / Reverse the crash Reverse the crash18 / / Reverse the blast Reverse the blast / / And reverse the car And reverse the car / / Reverse the day, and there you are Reverse the day, and there you are19 / Bobalob / / Bobalob / Lord forgive him we all have sinned Lord forgive him we all have sinned20 / But Bob's a good dude please let him in / And if you feel in my heart that / But Bob's a good dude please let him in / And if you feel in my heart that I long for revenge I long for revenge21 / / Please blame it on the son of the morning Please blame it on the son of the morning22 / / Thanks again Thanks again23 When I made my first album, it was my intention to make it my last. I threw everything I had into Reasonable Doubt, Reasonable Doubt, but then the plan was to move in to the corner office and run our label. I didn't do that. So instead of being a definitive statement that would end with the sound of me dropping the mic forever, it was just the beginning of something. That something was the creation of the character Jay-Z. but then the plan was to move in to the corner office and run our label. I didn't do that. So instead of being a definitive statement that would end with the sound of me dropping the mic forever, it was just the beginning of something. That something was the creation of the character Jay-Z.
Rappers refer to themselves a lot. What the rapper is doing is creating a character that, if you're lucky, you find out about more and more from song to song. The rapper's character is essentially a conceit, a first-person literary creation. The core of that character has to match the core of the rapper himself. But then that core gets amplified by the rapper's creativity and imagination. You can be anybody in the booth. It's like wearing a mask. It's an amazing freedom but also a temptation. The temptation is to go too far, to pretend the mask is real and try to convince people that you're something that you're not. The best rappers use their imaginations to take their own core stories and emotions and feed them to characters who can be even more dramatic or epic or provocative. And whether it's in a movie or a television show or whatever, the best characters get inside of us. We care about them. We love them or hate them. And we start to see ourselves in them-in a crazy way, become them.
SCARFACE THE MOVIE DID MORE THAN SCARFACE THE RAPPER TO ME THE MOVIE DID MORE THAN SCARFACE THE RAPPER TO ME.
In hip-hop, there's practically a cult built up around the 1983 remake of Scarface, Scarface, the one starring Al Pacino. Lines from that movie are scattered all over hip-hop, including my own songs: the one starring Al Pacino. Lines from that movie are scattered all over hip-hop, including my own songs: All I got is my balls and my word.The world is yours.I always tell the truth, even when I lie.Don't get high on your own supply.You fuck with me, you're fuckin with the best!Say goodnight to the bad guy.Okay! I'm reloaded!You gotta get the money first. When you get the money, you get the power.When you get the power, you get the women.Who do I trust? Me, that's who!and of courseSay hello to my little friend!
So many people saw their story in that movie. No one literally looked in the mirror and saw Tony Montana staring back at them. I hope. But there are people who feel Tony's emotions as if they were their own, feel the words he speaks like they're coming out of their own mouths.
I've always found this a little strange because-I hope I'm not giving anything away here-at the end of the movie, Tony gets shot. He's wasted. His life is in ruins. His family is destroyed. It's funny that so many people use the phrase "the world is yours" as a statement of triumph, when in the movie the last time the words occur, they're underneath Tony's bloody body in a fountain. But that's not what people identify with. It seems like the movie ends in some people's memory about two-thirds of the way through, before it all goes to shit for Tony. And for those two-thirds of the movie, they are Tony. And after the movie, Tony is still alive in them as an inspiration-and maybe a cautionary tale, too, like, Yeah, I'll be like Tony but not make the same mistakes. The viewer inhabits the character while the movie runs, but when it's over, the character lives on in the viewer. So instead of passing judgment on Tony, you make a complete empathetic connection to the good and bad in him; you feel a sense of ownership over his character and behavior. That's how it works with great characters.
HOW YOU RATE MUSIC THAT THUGS WITH NOTHIN RELATE TO IT?.
People connect the same way to the character Jay-Z. Like I said, rappers refer to themselves a lot in their music, but it's not strictly because rappers are immodest. Part of it is about boasting-that's a big part of what rap is traditionally about. But a lot of the self-reference has nothing to do with bragging or boasting. Rappers are just crafting a character that the listener can relate to. Not every rapper bothers with creating a big first-person character. Chuck D, a great MC, never really makes himself into a larger-than-life character because his focus is on analyzing the larger world from an almost objective, argumentative point of view, even when he's speaking in a first-person voice. You rarely become become Chuck D when you're listening to Public Enemy; it's more like watching a really, really lively speech. On the other hand, you have MCs like DMX for whom everything comes from a subjective, personal place. When he growls out a line like Chuck D when you're listening to Public Enemy; it's more like watching a really, really lively speech. On the other hand, you have MCs like DMX for whom everything comes from a subjective, personal place. When he growls out a line like on parole with warrants that'll send me back the raw way on parole with warrants that'll send me back the raw way the person rapping along to it in their car is completely living the lyrics, like it's happening to them. They relate. the person rapping along to it in their car is completely living the lyrics, like it's happening to them. They relate.
When Lauryn Hill came out with The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, for a while it was the only thing I listened to. Lauryn is a very different person from me, of course, but I felt her lyrics like they were mine. She was also one of the few contemporary female MCs I could even rap along to in my car. I love Lil' Kim, but I'd be a little nervous pulling up to a light and having someone see me rapping along to "Queen Bitch." Lauryn's lyrics transcended the specifics of gender and personal biography, which is why she connected to so many people with that album. All kinds of people could find themselves in those songs and in the character she created. for a while it was the only thing I listened to. Lauryn is a very different person from me, of course, but I felt her lyrics like they were mine. She was also one of the few contemporary female MCs I could even rap along to in my car. I love Lil' Kim, but I'd be a little nervous pulling up to a light and having someone see me rapping along to "Queen Bitch." Lauryn's lyrics transcended the specifics of gender and personal biography, which is why she connected to so many people with that album. All kinds of people could find themselves in those songs and in the character she created.
MY CORPORATE THUGS BE LIKE, YEAH JIGGA TALK THAT SHIT.
There's a funny Dave Chappelle bit, one of his "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong" sketches. Chappelle plays a young black guy named Vernon who works as a vice president at a major corporation. At the end of a meeting, a bald white colleague tells him, "Vernon, you da man," and the Chappelle character snaps. He stands up and gets in the dude's face. "Allow me to reintroduce myself. My name is Hov!" He ends up working at a gas station. It's funny, but the truth is I do hear about guys in corporate offices who psych themselves up listening to my music, which sounds odd at first, but makes sense. My friend Steve Stoute, who spends a lot of time in the corporate world, tells me about young execs he knows who say they discovered their own philosophies of business and life in my lyrics. It's crazy. But when people hear me telling my stories, or boasting in my songs, or whatever, they don't hear some rapper telling them how much better than them he is. They hear it as their own voice. It taps in to the part of them that needs every now and then to say, Fuck it, allow me to reintroduce myself, nigga. And when I'm really talking shit, like in this piece from the song "Threats" off The Black Album The Black Album- Put that knife in ya, take a little bit of life from yaAm I frightenin ya? Shall I continue?I put the gun to ya, I let it sing you a songI let it hum to ya, the other one sing alongNow it's a duet, and you wet, when you check outthe technique from the 2 tecs and I don't need two lipsTo blow this like a trumpet you dumb shit I don't think any listeners think I'm threatening them. I think they're singing along with me, threatening someone else. They're thinking, Yeah, I'm coming for you. Yeah, I'm coming for you. And they might apply it to anything, to taking their next math test or straightening out that chick talking outta pocket in the next cubicle. When it seems like I'm bragging or threatening or whatever, what I'm actually trying to do is to embody a certain spirit, give voice to a certain emotion. I'm giving the listener a way to articulate that emotion in their own lives, however it applies. Even when I do a song that feels like a complete autobiography, like "December 4th," I'm still trying to speak to something that everyone can find in themselves. And they might apply it to anything, to taking their next math test or straightening out that chick talking outta pocket in the next cubicle. When it seems like I'm bragging or threatening or whatever, what I'm actually trying to do is to embody a certain spirit, give voice to a certain emotion. I'm giving the listener a way to articulate that emotion in their own lives, however it applies. Even when I do a song that feels like a complete autobiography, like "December 4th," I'm still trying to speak to something that everyone can find in themselves.
I'LL TELL YOU HALF THE STORY, THE REST YOU FILL IT IN Of course, Reasonable Doubt Reasonable Doubt wasn't my only album. But as I was moving into my early thirties, I wanted to challenge myself in new ways. I was looking forward to building a label from the ground up, starting from scratch. Roc-A-Fella's deal with Def Jam was set to expire and I saw it as the perfect time to move on. When I announced plans to begin recording wasn't my only album. But as I was moving into my early thirties, I wanted to challenge myself in new ways. I was looking forward to building a label from the ground up, starting from scratch. Roc-A-Fella's deal with Def Jam was set to expire and I saw it as the perfect time to move on. When I announced plans to begin recording The Black Album, The Black Album, I said it would be my last for at least two years, and that story grew into rumors about retirement. I considered an all-out retirement out loud to the media, and that was a mistake even though I definitely gave the idea a lot of space in my head. I said it would be my last for at least two years, and that story grew into rumors about retirement. I considered an all-out retirement out loud to the media, and that was a mistake even though I definitely gave the idea a lot of space in my head.
When I first started planning The Black Album, The Black Album, it was a concept album. I wanted to do what Prince had done, release an album of my most personal autobiographical tracks with absolutely no promotion. No cover art, no magazine ads, no commercials, nothing; one day the album would just appear on the shelves and the buzz would build organically. it was a concept album. I wanted to do what Prince had done, release an album of my most personal autobiographical tracks with absolutely no promotion. No cover art, no magazine ads, no commercials, nothing; one day the album would just appear on the shelves and the buzz would build organically.
Like my dream of Reasonable Doubt Reasonable Doubt being my only album, that idea quickly evaporated. But I stuck to the idea of making the album more explicitly autobiographical than anything I'd done before. "December 4th," the song that opens the album, is itself a capsule autobiography. I took my mother out for her birthday and on the way to the restaurant I made her take a detour to Bassline and tell some stories about my life. These were stories that were already legend in my family; I'd heard them all a million times: My painless ten-pound birth. How I learned to ride a bike at a young age. The time she bought me a boom box because I loved rapping so much. The thing I love about these stories is that they're unique to me, of course, but they're also the sort of minor mythologies that every family has, the kind of stories that everyone hears from their parents and aunts and uncles, if they're lucky enough to have parents around. In the song I played that near-universal mother-love against the content of the verses, which was the story about how I went from a kid whose world was torn apart by his father's leaving to a young hustler in the streets who excelled but was scarred by the Life and eventually decided to being my only album, that idea quickly evaporated. But I stuck to the idea of making the album more explicitly autobiographical than anything I'd done before. "December 4th," the song that opens the album, is itself a capsule autobiography. I took my mother out for her birthday and on the way to the restaurant I made her take a detour to Bassline and tell some stories about my life. These were stories that were already legend in my family; I'd heard them all a million times: My painless ten-pound birth. How I learned to ride a bike at a young age. The time she bought me a boom box because I loved rapping so much. The thing I love about these stories is that they're unique to me, of course, but they're also the sort of minor mythologies that every family has, the kind of stories that everyone hears from their parents and aunts and uncles, if they're lucky enough to have parents around. In the song I played that near-universal mother-love against the content of the verses, which was the story about how I went from a kid whose world was torn apart by his father's leaving to a young hustler in the streets who excelled but was scarred by the Life and eventually decided to try this rap shit for a living. try this rap shit for a living. The parts where my mother's voice comes in to the song are surrounded by swirling orchestral fanfare that make the little stories feel epic. And that's how it feels for everyone, I think, to hear our mothers proudly tell those little stories about what made us special over and over again. The parts where my mother's voice comes in to the song are surrounded by swirling orchestral fanfare that make the little stories feel epic. And that's how it feels for everyone, I think, to hear our mothers proudly tell those little stories about what made us special over and over again.
My final show for The Black Album The Black Album tour was at the Garden. Playing Madison Square Garden by myself had been a fantasy of mine since I was a kid watching Knicks games with my father in Marcy. I arrived and the sight of my name in lights on the marquee got me in the right frame of mind. I began to visualize the whole show from beginning to end; in my mind it was flawless. Security at the Garden was nuts; my own bodyguard couldn't even get in. Backstage I watched my peers come in one by one. Puff was there in a chinchilla. Foxy showed up wearing leather shorts. Slick Rick was there wearing his truck jewelry. Ghostface had on his bathrobe. I had asked Ahmir and the Roots band to join me for the few shows I did before the Garden so we could get the show in pocket, and that night he was extra nervous, but I told him to act like it's any other show. We both knew that was a lie. Michael Buffer, who announces all the boxing matches in the Garden, announced me, and I did my signature ad-libs. The crowd went bananas. tour was at the Garden. Playing Madison Square Garden by myself had been a fantasy of mine since I was a kid watching Knicks games with my father in Marcy. I arrived and the sight of my name in lights on the marquee got me in the right frame of mind. I began to visualize the whole show from beginning to end; in my mind it was flawless. Security at the Garden was nuts; my own bodyguard couldn't even get in. Backstage I watched my peers come in one by one. Puff was there in a chinchilla. Foxy showed up wearing leather shorts. Slick Rick was there wearing his truck jewelry. Ghostface had on his bathrobe. I had asked Ahmir and the Roots band to join me for the few shows I did before the Garden so we could get the show in pocket, and that night he was extra nervous, but I told him to act like it's any other show. We both knew that was a lie. Michael Buffer, who announces all the boxing matches in the Garden, announced me, and I did my signature ad-libs. The crowd went bananas.