My head jerked up, I can feel my old face warming slightly. Jinning was sucking his finger and blinking his round jet black eyes as he watched me. Jinshu behind him only exposed half of his small face.
I coughed, "This uncle fell into the water, so little uncle is helping to give him breath."
Jinning tilted his head, "Give breath? What is giving breath? I saw daddy do this kind of thing to mom. Big uncle told me that's called kissing and you can only do it after you marry. Have little uncle and that uncle married? Why must you kiss? Why did little uncle say this is giving breath?"
I struggled to smile, this old face of thousands of years cultivation nearly lost it. "Cough— That…. This kind of thing, although it looks really similar to a kiss it's actually done to save people. In order to get married you need a man and a woman, how can little uncle and that uncle be married? That's why this is giving breath and not a kiss." My hand raised to stroke his head, "You mustn't mention it to other people."
Jinning's eyes shone brightly and he stuck out his chest. "Don't worry little uncle, I won't tell a single soul. I understand now; when a man and a woman does it it's called kissing, since little uncle and that uncle are both men it's called giving breath."
I choked on my saliva and almost stopped breathing.
Jinning squatted down next to me. He sucked on his thumb and watched Mu Ruoyan closely, then, he asked in a serious manner, "Little uncle, I also want to help give this uncle breath, can I?"
The divine energy in me was about to snap. My face pulled taut and I said back, "Giving breath is a form of martial arts, you're still so small — you can't practice it, also can't use it — you'll understand when you've grown up. Little uncle has to take this uncle back, be good and play here with your big brother." I picked Mu Ruoyan up under my arms before scurrying to the Han courtyard. When I reached the small path and looked back with the corner of my eyes, Jinning was still standing where he was, looking at me with big eyes.
Back in the bedroom Mu Ruoyan coughed out two mouthfuls of water on the bed. Finally able to breathe easily, he gradually woke up.
I was sitting on the bed, my eyes gazing into his, my hands pulling up the blanket. "If a person dies by drowning, the stomachs of their ghosts will be as swollen as the flower of a white clover, their heads will be as big as a bucket — they're the ugliest type of ghost."1
Mu Ruoyan pitch black eyes were unfathomable. I went on, "Ghosts of people who slit their throats will regrow another mouth on their necks; the food and soup that entered their mouth will come out the mouth on their neck, they can't partake of their offerings. People who fell off a cliff don't have their four limbs after death and can only writhe around. Those who drank poison have charred black faces with the seven openings on their faces bleeding continuously; they can't speak with their mouths, they inhale and exhale air that reeks. Those who burned to death — their appearance after being cooked is what they look like in death. Furthermore, people who swallowed gold……."
I smiled at him, "That's why, if you want to smoothly die and go up to heaven you can only peacefully live out your life and quietly wait for your end to come."
Tian Shu's eyes kept watching me unblinkingly, I kept on talking earnestly, "Make this the last time, alright?"
Mu Ruoyan was still looking at me without saying a word. The situation felt a bit strange.
Being watched by him, all of a sudden my heart felt very remorseful and I can't stop myself from saying, "You can rest assured, I……"
The door was abruptly slammed open and in came a thing pouncing. "Little uncle—"
My eyes sank shut, why did the little brat come running here. "Didn't I tell you to play in the garden. Where's Jinshu? Be good, little uncle has something to do."
Jinning pulled on the lapel of my robes, his small face miserably cried, "Little uncle, it hurts~~"
I pressed on my wildly pounding temples. "Where does it hurt? Did you knock on something in the garden? Go look for your mom like a good boy, let her call for physician."
Jinning took my hand into his wide open mouth, "Here. The tooth shakes and it hurts."
My hand felt the shaking molar in his mouth that was close to coming out, "Your teeth are changing now, a new one will grow when this tooth fell out. How can changing baby tooth hurt?"
All four of Jinning's hands and legs climbed up my knee. "At first it didn't hurt. Daddy said grandfather and big uncle will come back today so we'll eat wild deer meat. When I think of eating meat my tooth shakes, so painful, I want to pluck it out!"
I was completely, utterly glad that I fortunately became immortal and soared up when I was still a young man. If I had married and had a kid like this any divine energy will be cut down by ten years.
Jinning twisted around on my lap. Mu Ruoyan was opening the blanket and sitting up and immediately Jinning turned to him, blinking his eyes at Mu Ruoyan and calling out, "Uncle."
Mu Ruoyan's eyebrows perked up, unexpectedly, a hint of a smile emerged. Like a fish finding water, Jinning struggled to get down from my lap, "Uncle, my tooth hurts."
Mu Ruoyan asked in a friendly tone, "Does it hurt a lot?"
Jinning threw himself to the bedside, nodding as if his life depended on it. I saw him stare at Tian Shu with shining eyes, and understood he meant to climb up Mu Ruoyan. I readied myself; Mu Ruoyan's body now was barely held together with glue, how can he support this brat's plump body weight.
Jinning's little paws crawled up Mu Ruoyan's lap. He blinked his limpid eyes at him whilst his bloody mouth opened a flattering smile. The crack between his teeth held shiny drool. "My toothie hurts~~ Uncle, treat Jinning, give breath to……."
I covered up that disastrous mouth. With cold face, I lifted up this unlucky star by the collar and out of the gate. Jinning's two legs stamped wildly and he shamelessly shouted, "Bad little uncle!! Little uncle won't let uncle give Jinning…. Mmhfh mfh~~~"
I dragged Jinning into his courtyard. The little brat cried loudly and smeared his snot all over my body. I acted as if I didn't see maids laughing into their sleeves on the corridor and yelled, "Where's wet nurse? Come carry the little master back into his room!"
Two young maids came over with their lips pursed, they took the little scourge and walked off coaxing him. A man rushed into the courtyard and kneeled down to me, stating, "Third young lord, wangye and eldest lord have returned bringing a noble guest with them. They are currently in the reception hall and wangye summoned third young lord to the hall."
I changed my robes with haste and sped to the front hall. Sixian and Siyuan were both standing a level below the position of the head. On the guest's seat sat a nobleman wearing black garments, half of his ink-black hair was bound up with a jade crown while the other half was left hanging down the side of his shoulders.2 The man exuded grace, one that was effortless and delicate.
As I stepped across the threshold Dongjun Wang said, "How do you dally like this, making trifle of our noble guest. Your father will introduce you, this young lord Zhao will be employed as my headquarter's counselor and will live in the manor starting from today. You must treat him with respect and not slight him."
The nobleman in black stood up. This immortal lord was startled yet happy, as though the east wind had come sweeping through three thousand peach trees, letting each one of their flowers bloom in full.
And he softly smiled at me amidst the blindingly flowering thousands of peach blossom trees.
"This humble man is Zhao Heng. Greetings to young lord Siming."
Translator: Padam
Chinese checker: Helliotn
English checker: Strwbrrytruffles
Betas: Asmi and Kitt
(Unedited chapter)
Another chapter~~
I'm truly hardworking~~ Readers who wants to repost don't have to ask, I will be honored if you want to copy ^^
This Zhao Heng is Heng Wen Qingjun~~ dragged to step up on the stage~~~
sprinkle flowers~~
[1] I found a nice , (not Song Yao’s exact ghosts) it has hanged ghost, drowned ghost, to ghosts who stick to your shoes, to your shadows, and ghost form of people who tricked others into buying wine with more water than alcohol in it…. ↑
[2] 一位青衫公子: I’m actually not sure if this is blue, green or black, it used to be black for clothes and green for nature but one day people started to use it for clothes too, so I don’t know if it was still black at the time DFGG wrote this. ↑