I looked down at the toys in my hands as I savored the lingering taste of the fruit I had earlier.
Then I sighed.
The toys were all the same kind.
You either had to match shapes or look at shapes.
To be frank, they were all boring.
Think about it, it would be boring to just play with those all day. *Sob Sob*
'Let me play games instead! Battle royal! I want to play a shooting game.'
As I sat there in my crib with a sullen face matching the shapes, I fell into deep thought.
'Now I know exactly why babies are so sensitive.
This world is too big for me alone and the things I can do are few.
Even if I can move my hands and feet, there's nothing I can actually do.
The only emotions I can express is happiness or displeasure. It's just those two.
There are only two ways I can emote those emotions. I can either cry or I can laugh.
How uncomfortable is this body?
Yet mothers can figure out what the baby wants and need just by hearing their unpredictable cries.
Their skill is mysterious like magic. I feel uncomfortable just watching them.
If I have a baby of my own, can I do the same?'
“PuPuPU!”
If I manage to grow up well and find my other half who's just right for me,
get married and have a baby, I want to be a mother just like Cerera.
This was how much affection she gave me. It was simply immeasurable.
Well, I always heard that a parent’s love is like the heavens.
“Now, princess, let's go to his majesty.”
'No, I don’t need a Dad.'
Keitel day started as early as five in the morning.
'He wakes up so fucking early.
Anyways, the first he does after he wakes up is sword training, so his body doesn't get rusty.
He finishes that around seven. Then he has breakfast and goes with Friedel to government meetings.
After he finishes his business around twelve, he has lunch with Friedel.
Then he just shoves himself in the study looking over paperwork until he's ready to shove down his dinner.'
“Just leave it around there somewhere."
Keitel said, not even bothering to lift his head from his papers.
Cerera entered the room very quietly, like a specter, Keitel always knew what was going on.
'Anyways, he's a specter. A specter I tell you.'(T/N In Korea it a idiom)
I shook my head for no reason when Cerera looked at me.
'Huh? Oh?'
Cerera laid me down in the bassinet wordlessly.
Some time ago, a bassinet randomly appeared in the study, but it was smaller than the one in my room.
However, the important thing is that this new bassinet moves easier than my other one.
'To think that there's a moving bassinet.'
“May you reach Evangelium."
Cerera finished her greeting and left the room.
It had been just the two of us in this room until I was five months old, but suddenly starting from one day, it was just me alone here with Cerera on standby outside the door unless Keitel called for her specifically.
Now that I think about it, it's weird. 'Why did we start doing that?'
I wondered for just a minute.
I just looked dully around the study. 'Well, to be accurate, it was a break room.'
Keitel had already made mountains of papers around him.
He was sitting on the sofa carelessly with a messy appearance studying the papers with a dry look.
'Hmmm.
*Sighs* I didn’t know why I had to come out.'
I just leaned my head against the guard for no reason and stared at him through the rails.
The break room lights were always a bit dark.
There was bright sunshine pouring out from the large window the size of the wall but we both avoided going there.
The window led to the garden in the great outdoors but that wasn’t any of my business.
After seeing Keitel always on the attack I was surprised by how he looked in such a quiet atmosphere.
'To think his attitude made such a difference.'
The air around him simply fell to the ground.
The area around him seemed to belong to a different place, like his own island.
'When Keitel was alone it was always like this.
No, when it was just me alone, I could see him like this.'
“MMa!” (T/N In Korean, it's food, I think)
'I hated it.'
I wanted to break the silence.
At my sudden outburst, Keitel threw his papers sideways and looked at me.
Then he laughed.
“Are you bored?”
After tossing his papers he pulled the bassinet slightly closer to him and patted my head.
As he watched me, he slightly laughed.
It was a very slight laugh.
“You grew quite big.”
'He sees his baby brat every day yet he always says the same thing each time.
Rotten jerk.
He has no interest in me.
No interest, I say.
It's not like I want it, okay.'
Yet at moments like this, I wanted to ask him "What's wrong with you?"
I couldn’t help myself from feeling this way.
'Should I say it was pathetic or should I say it was annoying?
To be honest even I didn’t know. It just- it just made me feel down.
All right, I will be big-hearted and stop asking you to go study child development.
However, Dad, how about tutoring sessions with Cerera?
Three days! Learn everything about kids!
Well. I heard people do that nowadays…'
"Now you are starting to look a bit like a human being.”
'This Shi...Siberia. (T/N almost cursed ^^)
Then, father, are you saying that I didn’t look like a human before?
Is that what you are trying to say? Huh?
Do you want to get your ass kicked? No, I mean, would you like get smacked?'
I honestly wanted to beat him up. Before I felt hurt by him but now there was none of that now.
I was just speechless. I had no words, just hollow laughter.
'How should I describe it... Liberation?
Yes, I must be feeling liberated from him.
Ah, then will I reach complete enlightenment? '(T/N She talking about Buddhism)
The guy just laughed as I made a rotten face and stuck out my bottom lip.
Then, he grabbed his papers with his left hand and stroked my head with his right.
I just calmly leaned against the guard while getting stroked by him.
Keitel enjoyed petting me a lot more than I thought he would.
'I wonder why? He hated any kind of human contact with other people.'
All gazes were always directed toward one place, him.
“April. River overflow causing mass flooding, one-third of the area that had eight thousand people were washed away, then the Utrecht alliance will have poor crops this year too.”
'How would I know?'
Since I lifted my head Keitel removed his sights from the papers and just looked at me.
His face was a bit like a scourge but besides that, it was a flawless beauty…
But it still looked like the face of a jackass to me.
“Coventry next to it, if we play our cards right, we can eat it quite easily. It'll be okay, right?”
Look at the words you're saying to a baby who doesn't even know the meaning of the word Coventry.
I didn’t agree with him or deny him. I just simply stared at him.
One day, we randomly found each other looking into each other’s eyes a lot so I stopped smiling brightly each time he looked at me.
At first, I thought my life was over, but Keitel didn’t go around jumping about to kill me.
When I realized it didn’t affect my life right away my liver grew enormously big and now it came to this.
I just simply sat there with a shitty face.
'That's right, you can just bark by yourself. I will just play by myself.'
“The Emperor of Praezia is surprisingly quiet…”
I don't know if he was bored, but he listlessly flipped over a paper and dragged my bassinet toward him.
Then, while looking straight into my eyeballs, he lowered his arms on a cushion and lifted his chin.
“He won’t forgive me for killing his daughter.”
The moment we looked into each other's eyes, I compulsively called out to him.
“B! M!”
Keitel didn’t laugh. He just stared at me.
At first, his stare used to frighten me, but I guess humans are adaptable creatures because I was no longer afraid of the hidden sharpness hiding behind his eyes, nor was I scared of his empty expression.
Yet…
I was still taken back by the face he would make.
He was such a mysterious bastard.
'Are you an onion? Do you have layers?' Behind each layer, he had a different side.
Every day, I was growing differently and he was too.
Every day I was catching different sides of him.
Yes, maybe that was something obvious.
I mean, we were always stuck to each other’s side now.
'I thought he was just a crazy asshole.
I mean, he is called a tyrant, so I just assumed he was equal or even worse than Prince Yeonsan-gun.
The kind that could compete with Qin Shi Huang or be even more ruthless.
The kind of tyrant that gets written down in history and deserves to get criticized through generations, but he was actually not that far gone, yet.'
Officially, Friedel was in charge of all government matters, but all major decisions were made by Keitel and he was in charge of Friedel's choices.
'From what I heard, the former Emperor was even more fucked up than the current Keitel.'
He literally had the famous "Alcohol Pool" and "Meat Forest" (酒池肉林) he also created the "Cannon Burning Punishment" on top of that.
He was a son of a dog and human garbage.
He was the kind of worthless trash that couldn’t even be recycled, so when Keitel killed his own father, committing the sin of patricide, many people praised him.
Of course, the nobles were an exception as they were appalled by his brutality.
Unexpectedly, he was exemplary at paperwork which he consistently did and took good care of all government matters.
Well, it wasn’t like he was without fault either. Keitel was really into wars.
It was quite a serious problem and he had a terrible character, there were multiple defects to his humanism.
However, it was said that he didn’t touch his own people without reason and didn’t kill people unless they really went against him.
Even when he declared war he made sure not to push his soldiers too far and watched the timing and circumstances before going to war.
In fact, he might actually be a good Emperor to his people.
And, he never lost a battle. Hundreds of years ago the legendary Darha, who never lost a battle, was the pride of his people.
'That's right. Like I said before this guy actually does have more reason than I gave him credit for. He was a reasonable psycho.'
“Laugh, now.”
'.....But I can’t deny he was crazy.
Hey! You crazy bastard.
Before you told me to cry now you want me to laugh.
Ah, I really!
I have something called pride you know!
Do you think I will laugh just because you told me to laugh?
How can I possibly laugh just because you order me too?!'
I did my best to maintain a neutral expression.
'I won’t laugh. I will not laugh no matter what. I shall not laugh. I won't laugh.
I won't laugh because I am freakishly strong!'
“Giggle~giggle~”
'………..I'm done.
That's right. I didn’t have anything like pride. Fuck.'
As I giggled loudly, inwardly, I lamented my own destiny.
'I'm annihilated. I'm done. My life is shit.
I was an idiot for thinking for one moment that I found gold.
I am stupid.' *Sob Sob*
“You laugh well."
Not all people laugh this well, your royal highness father-sama.
Keitel's left hand gently touched my cheek and he smirked.
'Ah, damn. Am I your toy?'
I was so irritated I turned my whole body away. 'I should seriously not associate with him.'
I looked at my matching toys around me.
'Rectangle. Triangle. This is a circle.
Where is the box with the matching holes?'
I turned my head around, but I couldn’t see the matching box for the toys.
'This is creepy, like a ghost joke.' (T/N in Korea mysterious events are blamed a lot on ghosts)
“Looking for this?”
'Huh?'
I turned my head towards Keitel's voice, then I saw the missing box I was looking for in his hand.
'Huh? What are you trying to do Mr. Father?'
“Want it?”
'Give it here.' I flatly gave my hand out. Then I shook it to urge him faster.
He laughed as he looked at my hand hovering in the air.
He didn’t chuckle nonstop like a crazy person this time.
It was just a normal laugh. (T/N thank god...o_o)
'Ah, crazy asshole.
I don't want to deal with you.
To think that is my dad. Fuck.'
It has been a while since I felt murderous intent towards God as I chewed my lips and I shook out my hands.
'Give it here! Why are you getting in the way when I finally decided to play this boring game?'
His big hand grabbed my small hand.
Then his cold hands took the remaining toy shapes that I was holding on to tightly.
'Wow, this crazy-! What is this?!'
“Take it if you can.”
'What is this trying to do with me?!
What the- Am I the baby or are you the baby?! What did that just say?
Take it if I can? Can I take your life? Can I? Do I need to learn how to handle a knife?
Is there any way I could take his life?!'
“Ah-MBa!”
'I have no idea what I just said. I want to say hand it over.' *SOB SOB*
Keitel acted like he was going to give it to me as he held out his hand. As soon as I tried to grab it, he pulled his hand back.
'Wow, Damn.
I am not a rough person who just confronts people head on, why am I cussing so much?
Ah. I don’t want to live. Seriously.
Am I playing with him or is he playing with me?'
I was pissed off to the max so I glared at him.
I know that my liver must be swollen big but, as I said before, I know now that he's not going to kill me right now. That means I can act out as long as I don’t cross his final line.
'Ah, so annoying.'
I just plopped my body down. 'I'm going to sleep now!'
“Oh.”
Keitel looked like a crestfallen kid who had been busy having fun with his toy but got his toy taken away.
He looked disappointed as he let go of the toy shapes.
Then he quickly lifted my whole body up.
I found myself suddenly carried in his embrace.
I blinked several times as I looked up at him. A slight smile appeared on his face.
'Why are you holding me all of a sudden?'
When I just stay still with a shitty face he suddenly moved.
He moved to the area with the window that almost covered the whole wall and went out on the connecting terrace.
The strong sunlight hurt my eyes. As I squinted under the strong sun, Keitel stepped back.
Even with one step, there was a big difference in the amount of light.
'It's a garden... A real garden.'
I had practically lived in this room for almost two months, but I had never seen this area despite the fact that it was connected to the break room.
The window and terrace that I saw for the first time in my life showed me a breathtaking scenery.
To think that the white garden was this beautiful.
The holy tree called winter tree, with white leaves, shook gently. It was a wonderful sight.
'To think he wanted to show me this sight! Is my father actually gentle?'
I turned my head to look at him but even when looking at the same sights Keitel's expression was off.
Even on average he wasn’t normal but right now it seemed even more stagnant than usual.
Not only did his face fall but there was a sliver of animosity in his eyes.
He seemed to be looking at the beautiful scenery differently than me.
“This place is disgusting to the point that-"
His voice came out through clenched teeth.
“...I am sick and tired.”
His sight was on me but his eyes were not the eyes belonging to the Keitel I knew.
'Who are you?'
I was very curious about this unknown face that popped up randomly from time to time.
'What is your identity, you crazy bastard?
I know you don’t have a multiple personality disorder.
Yet sometimes he acted like a completely different person making me wonder if he did.'
Then at that moment, he kissed my forehead.
His voice was so soft as he whispered in my ear.
Yeonsan-gun or Prince Yeonsan (23 November 1476 – 20 November 1506, r. 1494–1506), born Yi Yung or Lee Yoong, was the 10th king of Korea's Joseon Dynasty. He was the eldest son of Seongjong by his second wife, Lady Yoon. He is often considered the worst tyrant of the Joseon Dynasty, and perhaps all of Korean history, notorious for launching two bloody purges of the seonbi scholar elite. He also seized a thousand women from the provinces to serve as palace entertainers, and appropriated the Seonggyungwan study hall as a personal pleasure ground. Overthrown, Yeonsan-gun did not receive a temple name.
Qin Shi Huang was the founder of the Qin dynasty and was the first emperor of a unified China. He was born Ying Zheng or Zhao Zheng, a prince of the state of Qin.
Caitel father is based on King Zhou of Shang
one of the most famous forms of entertainment Zhou enjoyed was the "Alcohol Pool and Meat Forest" (酒池肉林). A large pool, big enough for several canoes, was constructed on the Palace grounds, with inner linings of polished oval shaped stones from the seashores. This allowed for the entire pool to be filled with alcohol. A small island was constructed in the middle of the pool, where trees were planted, which had branches made of roasted meat skewers hanging over the pool. This allowed Zhou and his friends and concubines to drift on canoes in the pool. When they thirsted, they reached down into the pool with their hands and drank the wine. When they hungered, they reached up with their hands to eat the roasted meat. This was considered one of the most famous examples of decadence and corruption of a ruler in Chinese history
"Cannon Burning Punishment" (炮烙之刑). One large hollow bronze cylinder was stuffed with burning charcoal and allowed to burn until red-hot, then prisoners were made to literally hug the cylinder, which resulted in a painful and unsightly death.
P.S ^_^
I used to be a fan of The Investiture of the Gods or The Creation of the Gods, also known by its Chinese names Fengshen Yanyi and Fengshen Bang which is based on this fact.