Published at 15th of January 2021 04:55:11 PM
When would it be? When would he ever get to be happy?
Assisi was in tears while his father’s whispers would always go around his head .
‘If you become kind, you can . ’
Thus, Assisi tried to be kind . He listened well, didn’t cry, and endured every pain given to him . He just held on . All because he wanted to be happy .
Looking back at it now, he realized how desperate he had been, but at that time, it was the only truth Assisi knew . If he chose not to believe those words, there was no other way he would have lived . Even when everyone denied that method of living, he clung to it .
If that weren’t true, then he had nothing left .
No matter how painful and difficult times were, he never accepted others’ love . He didn’t want to believe that truth, which was really true . Everyone tried to tell him, but he couldn’t get himself to believe it .
Why was he even alive if he wasn’t loved?
No matter how good and kind he was, he never felt happy .
As if making fun of Assisi, happiness always fled to places he couldn’t reach . Thus, he gave up on happiness .
After that, everything felt comfortable .
Then, Caitel, who had been burned to death at thirteen, returned at nineteen .
Caitel’s rebellion spewed a bloody scent on the former Agrigient country . Assisi’s father was swept away by the madness and sword in Caitel’s hand .
It was an effortless task to kill down the women who never held a sword in their hands . Assisi never knew that his father, who was always looking and wanted his mother back, would kill her . By the time Assisi went into his mother’s room, the deed had been done .
“You are here . ”
Soaked in her blood, Assisi’s father greeted .
“Come one now . I’ll send you with her . Let’s all go away together!”
Raising his sword could prevent it, but the man was his father, way older than Assisi, a man experienced in the blade . Meanwhile, Assisi couldn’t lift his weapon .
“You are a cursed child . You will take everyone to hell . Even if you die, this won’t end . You are the devil himself!”
He thought that it couldn’t be true . No, he was dissatisfied with everything . Was he really a cursed child who made his parents unhappy? Was that why his father and mother were apart? Was it all his fault? He tried to deny it, kept on denying it .
However, the sight before him destroyed everything . Misfortune everywhere: things were hard to get used to . The pain felt so familiar . He could feel himself alive despite his burning skin .
The sight which unfolded right in front of him was fierce .
“Don’t die . ”
When he woke up, his father or the sword was no more . Only a man on the ground, holding his mother .
“You can’t die . ”
Caitel’s low voice . As he lifted his head, he only saw Caitel gasping for breath in a pool of blood .
“Get up . ”
It didn’t matter that he cut down his father . Too much had happened to care about it .
“There is no reason for you to die . ”
They didn’t mind the blood around them; that was when Caitel spoke to the silent Assisi .
“Why die in the hands of that human, stupid . ”
A red blood dripping blade on the ground .
The sight made Assisi miserable .
It didn’t matter what happened . Even if Assisi died, he wouldn’t regret the moment .
Because that was his life, and death didn’t scare him at all .
However, the fact that he wasn’t loved cut him deeper than a sword . He felt so hurt that he forgot to feel pain .
“Why am I the only one alive?”
“How would I know that?”
An indifferent and cold response .
Assisi shook his head . He didn’t know, but there was one thing he understood .
He lifted his father’s sword on the floor . The blood-soaked sword was in a disgusting shade of red . Caitel felt nervous but didn’t move to take him down . He wasn’t trying to commit suicide; he wanted to die, but he couldn’t .
Because he knew that if he died, he would never be saved .
Assisi dropped the sword and knelt on the ground .
“I will be Your Majesty’s knight . I will pay for the sins of my parents on this earth . This is a life Your Majesty saved, so please use me . ”
His reason to live was gone, but he couldn’t die .
“So I pay for my sins . ”
Tears fell from both their eyes .
“Please kill me . ”
He thought that he wouldn’t be accepted . He believed that a dirt-covered kid like Assisi would never be acknowledged . However, Caitel’s answer came as a shock .
“Okay . ”
His lord, who neither pushed nor approached anyone .
Such a man had held Assisi’s hand .
“But if you are with me, you will never be saved . ” Said Caitel .
“It’s fine . ”
Assisi raised his head while still holding onto Caitel’s hand .
“Even if I will never be saved . I will use my life for you . ”
A warm hand comforted him .
Arca III
Hadeian calendar 519, 16th of July, by Ferdel .
We don’t know if our Ria is a genius or a criminal .
Sometimes she would have brilliant ideas, but her immaturity shows when I placed her vision into practice .
Caitel thought his child, Ria, is some kind of genius .
Bloody funny!
Hadeian calendar 526, 16th of September, raining .
I don’t know how long I have been writing down this diary . Sometimes, the Prime Minister is a small role, but this small role is a massive change for His Majesty .
Hadeian Calendar 528, 12th of May, stormy winds are blowing .
I am just happy that Ria is growing up . I feel bad since she doesn’t have a birth mother with her, but seeing the princess follow me around, I feel bad for her . When she was young, she wouldn’t even eat her meal with me beside her, but now she is growing into an adult without me…
Hadean Calendar 528, 6th of June .
… Caitel stupid bastard .
-diary of an unknown person found inside the palace-
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