After buying the bone cutting kitchen knife and the bottle of soy sauce, Song Shuhang rushed home at full speed!
‘I was unexpectedly fooled by that onion spirit.’ The green onion in his hand was a normal one. But since it had the smell of the ‘monster onion’ on it, it was able to fool him temporarily.
...While he was buying the bottle of soy sauce, he used his right hand, which was holding the onion spirit, to get a hold of it. However, he carelessly put too much strength in his fingers, and as a consequence, the onion spirit broke into two pieces...
It actually broke into two pieces!
Song Shuhang wasn’t a fool and immediately realized that the ‘onion spirit’ in his hand was a fake. As for the real one… it should still be in his house, or perhaps it had already run away!
"Dammit, I was too careless." Up until now, Song Shuhang had been very careful when dealing with matters regarding the world of cultivators.
He didn’t expect to make such a mistake while dealing with this onion spirit.
After getting home, Song Shuhang shot a look around and tried to gauge the situation.
Afterward, he heaved a sigh of relief. Everything seemed to be fine. Zhao Yaya and her friends were whispering something in the living room. Papa Song, Old Lu, and Lu Tianyou were chatting in the studio, and Mama Song was still busy in the kitchen… it seemed that the onion spirit hadn’t caused any trouble.
‘Then, did she directly run away?’ Song Shuhang secretly operated the ❮True Self Meditation Scripture❯ and displayed a small trick based on the manipulation of mental energy, the ‘mental detection’.
Now that he had opened three apertures, Song Shuhang’s mental energy was much higher than before. If he were to release all his mental energy, he could cover the entire house.
When he used his mental detection, Zhao Yaya and her friends, and also Papa Song and the others, all stopped talking. They felt as though someone was spying on them, making them feel somewhat uncomfortable.
At the same time, all the things in the house, even the ants crawling in dark corners, appeared in Song Shuhang’s mind. Of course, the picture in his mind was very rough. Although he could feel the presence of these ants, they appeared as small pixels in his mind.
As for human beings which were bigger, they appeared such as in old videotape recordings.
After searching for a long time… Song Shuhang wasn’t able to find the onion spirit.
That was rather troublesome. If the fugitive onion spirit were to leak the fact that he had the ‘enlightenment stone’, he would be in deep trouble.
What is my mother grasping in her hands?
That one meter long thing… isn’t that my treasured saber Broken Tyrant? What is my saber doing there?
Just as he was wondering what was happening, he saw Mama Song come out of the kitchen with Broken Tyrant in her hands.
"Eh? Shuhang, you’re finally back. Why are you standing at the entrance with a dumbfounded look on your face? Quickly give me the bone cutting kitchen knife and the bottle of soy sauce; I just happen to need them," Mama Song said to Song Shuhang as she waved Broken Tyrant.
"Cough. Mother, what are you doing with that saber?" Song Shuhang swallowed a mouthful of saliva and asked.
"Ahaha, this ornamental saber of yours isn’t half bad. It’s very comfortable to use and even sharper than I thought. If I weren’t afraid of dirtying it, I would have used it to cut the spareribs," Mama Song said with a smile.
Then, she added, "Ah, yes. Earlier, I found a green onion on the cupboard. Perhaps it inadvertently fell there when I came back from the market. Anyway, I decided to bring it in the kitchen and cut it up to prepare the lamb with fried green onions. But strangely enough, no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t able to cut it into pieces."
After speaking this much, Mama Song frowned, "Speaking of which, it is quite strange. I’ve never seen a green onion that even a knife couldn’t cut. In hindsight, I think there was something fishy about it."
Shiet, mom actually brought Lady Onion in the kitchen!
"Ahaha, you’re right. That green onion was indeed special. It was a gift from a friend and should be a new species of green onion. I brought it home because I wanted to cultivate it, hehehe..." Song Shuhang said some random nonsense with a serious face—it wasn’t a good situation. Lately, he had to lie more and more to cover these matters related to the ‘world of cultivators’.
"Oh? So, it was a new species you brought back. No wonder, no wonder." Mama didn’t think too much about it and accepted Shuhang’s explanation.
Song Shuhang heaved a sigh of relief—Wait! Mother was holding Broken Tyrant… did something happen to the onion spirit?
Song Shuhang swallowed a mouthful of saliva, "Ma, where is that green onion now?"
"Oh, I cut it up. I tried to use the kitchen knife but couldn’t damage it. Then, I remembered about this ornamental saber of yours. I took it down from the wall and tried to cut the green onion with it; the process was very smooth, it just took me a few slashes to cut it into tiny pieces. This blade is very good," Mama Song said with a smile.
Song Shuhang was immediately dumbfounded, "And what about those pieces?"
"Of course, they became part of the lamb with fried green onions! That new species of green onion was really amusing. The kitchen knife wasn’t able to cut it, but after I cut it with the saber, it quickly fried in the oil. It smelled very good, and we’ll be able to taste it in a while. I have high expectations of that lamb with fried green onions!" Mama Song said self-satisfied.
Lamb with fried green onions… lamb with fried green onions… lamb with fried green onions...
Did that onion spirit die?
Moreover, why didn’t it try to resist? Why did she allow mom to cut her up in such a critical situation?
"What about the root of the green onion? Do you still have it?" This was Song Shuhang’s last hope—maybe the green onion could survive even if the sprouted part was cut off? After all, it was a plant-type monster. Perhaps it could survive as long as its root was intact?
"I threw it on a side in the kitchen. Why are you asking about it? Ah, right. I forgot that you wanted to cultivate this new variety." Mama Song pointed at the kitchen. "Go to the kitchen and search amidst the various green onions roots on the edge of the cutting board. I’ll go in the living room and hang this ornamental saber back on the wall."
Song Shuhang quickly went into the kitchen and noticed the root of the onion spirit.
It was emanating the strong aura that belonged to an onion spirit.
"Hello, are you still alive?" Song Shuhang asked in a soft voice.
However, the onion spirit didn’t reply and only slightly shook.
It seems that it’s still alive...
Song Shuhang secretly heaved a sigh of relief. Then, he picked up the root of the green onion and looked at the ‘lamb with fried green onions’ that Mama Song was so proud of.
A lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit...! Isn’t this dish a bit too over the top? Would people die after eating it?
After thinking a bit, Song Shuhang took out his mobile phone and quickly typed in the Nine Provinces Number One Group.
Stressed by a Mountain of Books: "Seniors, my 300 years old onion spirit was cut into pieces by my mother to prepare some lamb with fried green onions… now, only its root is left. Can it still be saved? Moreover, if someone eats a lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit, will they die? I’m waiting for answers, very worried!"
His mother was very proud of this dish, and in a while, she would bring it to the table and let everyone taste it. What would he do if everyone ended up poisoned by this food? If their lives were in danger, he would immediately get rid of this dish.
Very soon, someone replied.
It was Senior Northern River. As long as he was online, he was the first one to reply. "A 300 years old onion spirit? 😳 That’s pretty uncommon! I’ll answer your first question: as long as the root of the onion spirit has not suffered too much damage, it can be saved. Just plant it and pour some water from a spiritual spring on it everyday. With that, it should recover. As for the second question—I haven’t ever tasted a lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit. Therefore, I can’t say for sure."
At this time, Scholar Drunken Moon also replied, "As for your second question, if your mother is an ‘immortal chef’ such as Immortal Fairy Bie Xue, then eating lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit would be very beneficial. If a mortal were to eat it, even their lifespan would increase!"
Stressed by a Mountain of Books: "...Senior, my mother is just an average person!"
Scholar Drunken Moon, "I see. In this case, a normal person mustn't eat it! A 300 years old onion spirit would have a lot of monster qi inside, and a normal person would surely enter a confusional state after eating it."
Stressed by a Mountain of Books: "What will happen after they enter this confusional state?"
Scholar Drunken Moon, "After they enter this confusional state… they will die in a very amusing way! So many different ways that you can’t even count them! However, you better not try it just because you’re curious."
"..." Song Shuhang.
Who the hell would try something like this just because they’re curious?!
Scholar Drunken Moon continued, "Moreover, I think that even cultivators would have to pay attention to this ‘lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit’. It would be troublesome if they were affected by the monster qi inside."
Song Shuhang heaved a sigh—even if someone were to serve him such a dish, he wouldn’t eat it. How could he bear to eat it after knowing that the onion spirit could turn into a sweet and charming girl?
He was a normal man and didn’t have weird fetishes.
...As expected, he had to get rid of this dish! He felt sorry for this mother, but there was no way around it!
At this time, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber popped out and said, "Little Friend Shuhang, are you planning to sell this 300 years old onion spirit? I’m collecting ingredients for Immortal Fairy Bie Xue’s ‘Immortal Feast’. Perhaps, this onion spirit could come in handy."
"..." After a short while, Song Shuhang replied, "Senior, I can’t do this. This onion spirit went through a lot of hardships and practiced for 300 years, gaining intellect and learning how to assume a human form. I don’t really feel like delivering her to the Immortal Feast and have someone eat her. After all, she is a living being just like us."
When Song Shuhang sent this message, the people in the group turned quiet for a moment.
"Wait, what?! 🤯" Thrice Reckless Mad Saber sent a mind-blown emoji. "Did you just say that the onion spirit has intelligence and can assume a human form?"
"A 300 years old onion spirit that can assume human form?" Northern River’s Loose Cultivator also asked.
"How were you able to seize her if she can already assume human form? Let alone fry her and put her on the lamb," Scholar Drunken Moon also questioned.
"It should be impossible. Are you sure that you weren’t confused by the naturally produced monster qi of the onion spirit? A 300 years old onion spirit should have stored up only a little amount of monster qi and shouldn’t have developed any intelligence," Cave Lord Snow Wolf said surprised.
Seeing all the seniors reacting in the same way, Song Shuhang said, somewhat confused, "What’s so strange about a monster onion assuming a human form?"
At this time, True Monarch Yellow Mountain said, "Shuhang, let me explain things with an example. For instance, Doudou’s current strength is comparable to that of a cultivator at the peak of the Fourth Stage. He only needs a small push to condense a ‘monster core’ and grasp the ability to change his appearance. A monster core is the equivalent of the golden core of a human cultivator, and without a core, a monster can forget about changing into human form! Even animal-type monsters have to go through so much trouble to assume a human form, let alone a plant-type monster that doesn’t even have intellect at first!"
"The onion spirit in your hands in very peculiar," Medicine Master slowly replied.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber guessed, "You should plant and cultivate her. Then, try to observe if she has any distinctive features. She might even have some hidden treasure on her body!"
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator also said, "Perhaps this monster onion has some ancient bloodline?"
The seniors in the group started to send all sorts of comments, and after a while, Song Shuhang put away his phone.
He took the ‘lamb with fried green onions’, and after thinking a bit, he decided to throw it in the dustbin of the kitchen.
This time, he had no other choice but to throw away Mama Song’s dish and the 300 years old green onion sprout.
But just as he was preparing to open the dustbin and throw the lamb inside, he heard Mama Song’s footsteps approaching—she was quickly coming toward the kitchen.
Song Shuhang immediately stopped what he was doing!
The door of the kitchen was made of two panels of glass and was therefore transparent. If he were to throw the lamb in the dustbin, Mama Song would see him even from far away!
And if couldn’t think of a good excuse at the time, Mama Song would certainly lose her temper!
What was he supposed to do?
Song Shuhang operated his brain at full speed.
At this time, Mama Song came over and pushed the glass door open, "Shuhang, did you find the root of the green onion?"
Song Shuhang clenched his teeth and opened his mouth, quickly gulping down the lamb with fried green onions.
When Mama Song finished her sentence, he had already eaten all the lamb.
"..." Mama Song.
"Ma, it was really delicious! Ahaha, I was careless and ate it all; it was just too delicious. Unfortunately, there is none left for dad and the others." Song Shuhang held his thumb up in approval.
Mama Song didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and used her finger to flick Shuhang’s forehead.
"Hehe." Song Shuhang foolishly laughed and ran away from the kitchen, heading toward his room. Since he hadn’t digested it yet, he had to hurry and quickly throw everything up...
After running to his room, Song Shuhang closed the door. Afterward, he tried to find a method to throw everything up.
But just as he was trying to find a way to spit everything out, he suddenly sat on the ground, his face stupefied.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t spit it out.
It was as though his body had no concept whatsoever of ‘throwing up’. No matter which method he used, they were all useless.
At the same time, he started to feel his stomach turn hot.
This feeling was similar to drinking warm soup during winter. A warm feeling spread from his stomach to his underbelly. After thinking of what the seniors in the group had said about the ‘lamb with a 300 years old fried onion spirit’, he felt that he was in trouble.
Why do I feel that there is something wrong with my recent life experiences?
Song Shuhang took a deep breath and returned to the bedside.
On the bed, Senior White was lying perfectly still; he was still closing up. It would be very good if Senior White were to suddenly wake up. He would need only a finger to solve my current crisis, right?
But this time, he could only rely on himself.
Song Shuhang sat cross-legged on the bedside and closed his eyes, starting to operate the ❮True Self Meditation Scripture❯. He wanted to see if there was any way to absorb this strange energy that was spreading from his stomach.
"Ahaha, you thought you could spit everything out after eating me? Naive!" At this time, the self-satisfied laughter of the onion spirit echoed from Song Shuhang’s pocket.
When Mama Song suddenly grabbed her, she was indeed taken by surprise. But when Mama Song went into the living room to take the treasured saber Broken Tyrant, the onion spirit had a sudden inspiration and thought of an ingenious plan...