Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu
Chapter 162: Zhuge Yue’s video
On the way back, Song Shuhang frowned—he felt that there was something wrong with that guy from before, and he wasn’t talking about his flowery appearance. He felt that he wasn’t your ‘average man’. Was he a cultivator?
Back at Medicine Master’s multi-storied building.
The pekingese Doudou was still playing games and keeping his online wife company. However, he hadn’t started the video call yet; he was waiting for Song Shuhang to return. He wanted him to chat with the girl in his stead.
After setting up Senior White’s computer, Song Shuhang installed a few essential programs on it.
Then, he decided to register an account for the chat group.
"Senior, what do you want to use as ID?" Song Shuhang asked.
"White. After all, that is my dao name," Senior White replied.
"Fine," Song Shuhang filled in the necessary information and registered the account. Then, he went inside the Nine Provinces Number One Group and clicked on the button ‘add new member’. "Done. Now, we only need to wait for True Monarch Yellow Mountain to accept the request."
As they were chatting, his phone rang.
"Hello, who is it?" Song Shuhang picked up the phone and asked.
"Little Friend Shuhang, I’m True Monarch Yellow Mountain. Are you free right now?" True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s hearty laughter echoed from the phone.
"Sure. Oh, right. Senior Yellow Mountain, I was just looking for you. I helped Senior White register an account and added it to the chat. Remember to accept the request when you get online," Song Shuhang said with a smile.
"Good, I’ll go immediately. Is True Monarch White with you?" True Monarch Yellow Mountain asked.
Song Shuhang replied, "Yes. I’m installing some programs on his computer."
"Well done! I’m going to add True Monarch White to the group." After finishing his sentence, he quickly hung up the phone.
"Ah? Senior, you didn’t say why you called me!" Song Shuhang shouted, but True Monarch Yellow Mountain was already gone.
What was True Monarch playing at?
Ding~ The chat program sent a notification on the computer. Senior White’s account had been added to the group.
"The request has been accepted. Do you want to set a nickname inside the group?" Song Shuhang asked.
"Hm, let me see," Senior scrolled through the group, and after pondering a bit, he chose ‘Venerable White’ as his nickname.
Then, as soon as he finished setting his nick, the Nine Provinces Number One Group became lively.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain: "Fellow Daoist White, you made a breakthrough?"
Daluo Sect’s True Monarch Rain Moon: "Woah! Senior White, congratulations for becoming a Seventh Stage Spiritual Venerable!"
Scholar Drunken Moon: "Senior, congratulations for breaking through!"
A lot of members popped out one after another to give their congratulations to Senior White.
"Yes, I broke through a hundred years ago," Senior White replied with a smile.
"A hundred years ago? You mean you kept cultivating for a hundred years evenafter breaking through?" True Monarch Yellow Mountain wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. True Monarch White wasn’t a cultivation madman for nothing! Oh, wait. He was Venerable White now.
Cave Lord Snow Wolf: "Senior, in front of you, I can only kneel down! 🙇"
Dharma King Creation: "Senior, accept my ten years worth of kneeling down! 🙇"
Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue: "Fellow Daoist White, congratulations for becoming a Spiritual Venerable. Yellow Mountain, you should also put some extra effort into cultivating. Fellow daoist White broke through more than a hundred years ago; he’ll leave you in the dust at this pace." 
True Monarch Yellow Mountain smiled—how could he compare himself to Venerable White? After all, the thing the latter loved the most... was exactly cultivating!
The group started to get more and more lively. Senior White was propping himself up with his hand while sliding his finger on the screen, sending one or two replies now and then.
Every time he would come out of secluded meditation, he would feel as if the world and the humans had greatly changed; everything would suddenly turn unfamiliar. Only the presence of these fellow daoists would remind him that he was still in the world he knew.
After settling things on Senior White’s end, Song Shuhang arrived at Doudou’s side and asked, "Doudou, do you want a gift?"
"What gift?" Doudou looked at Song Shuhang, somewhat puzzled.
"Ding ding dong!" Song Shuhang brought out the notebook won by Senior White. Senior White already had a computer; therefore, this one would remain unused, "Do you want it?" 
Doudou stared at Song Shuhang for a while. Afterwards, he spat out his tongue and said, "Woof. Go on, you need my help for something, right?"
"Hehe. As expected, you’re a reasonable dog. I indeed need help for a little matter, but it shouldn’t be anything difficult for you!" Song Shuhang said, "On our way back, we met a strange man! I feel that there was something wrong with him."
Then, he started to describe that pretty boy with a muscular body he had met to Doudou.
Since the incident with Altar Master, Song Shuhang was always on alert against these ‘suspicious characters’. What would he do if that man were to try to hurt his friends like Altar Master’s subordinates?
"So, what do you want me to do?" Doudou asked puzzled.
"I was wondering if you could go to the crater created by Senior White and sniff the scent of that guy, helping me find out his whereabouts and background," Song Shuhang asked.
"Good. It’s a deal then!" Doudou stretched out his paw and patted Song Shuhang’s hand. "However, I’m only responsible for finding out his identity. I won’t take care of him."
"No problem," Song Shuhang replied with a smile
"Good, I’ve accepted your request. Now, you have to keep your end of the deal," Doudou pointed to the computer and said, "come, you have to make a video call with my ‘wife’."
"What should I do?" Song Shuhang asked.
"Just sit there and don’t move. I’ll take control of the in-game character. And then… when I tell you to smile, make sure to reveal a dazzling smile. That’s it," Doudou said.
Good. If it’s just smiling, I should be able to do it.
Song Shuhang sat in front of the computer and turned on the webcam.
Doudou opened the chat program and logged in with his own account.
"Wife, start the video call! It’s time to look at your handsome husband!" The pekingese Doudou quickly typed on the keyboard.
After seeing Doudou shamelessly boasting like that, Song Shuhang got a little embarrassed—because he was this ‘handsome husband’.
"Ah? Husband, you can finally make a video call?" The little girl quickly replied, starting the video call at the same time.
Soon, the picture of a 17 or 18 years old girl appeared on the screen. Her complexion was even ruddier than yesterday; she appeared more lively than ever.
And, Song Shuhang’s face also appeared on the girl’s computer. Compared to that picture from several years ago, he appeared more mature. He was brimming with energy.
"I can make a video call. However, the audio isn’t working yet. You’ll have to bear with it," Doudou quickly replied. Then, he said to Song Shuhang, "Snap out of it. Look at the webcam and show a gentle smile."
Song Shuhang waved his hand at the webcam and revealed a very natural smile.
"So handsome! Husband~ I like you so much!" The little girl pouted and sent a kiss.
Song Shuhang felt his face become red; this was just too embarrassing.
"Come, come, come. Let’s play the game. Today, we won’t go to conquer any zone; we’ll go to kill people! Yesterday, I spent all night collecting the Five Stars War God Set. Therefore, we’ll give a good lesson to those guys that camped and killed you repeatedly yesterday!" Doudou said excitedly. Then, he turned toward Song Shuhang and said, "Go, make a self-confident and cool expression. Try to collaborate a bit!"
Song Shuhang took a deep breath. Then, his eyes started to shine; now, his face was brimming with self-confidence.
"Husband~~ you’re incredible! I love you so much!" The little girl laughed happily.
Song Shuhang looked at the webcam and raised his thumb in approval. But after that last sentence, his embarrassment had reached the limit, and this made him lose his mind. Therefore, he decided to throw away the little dignity he had left!
Doudou and the girl quickly entered the game and started to chop people up.
Song Shuhang was to coordinate with Doudou. Therefore, he made all kinds of different expressions. A handsome expression, an excited one, one where he was laughing like a madman and so on.
He felt as if he was on his way to becoming a superstar!
When he was free, he took his mobile phone and went on the website of the campus to see some news.
Then, a news picked his interest.
"Absolutely shocking. Today, the earth near the electronic shopping center in the vicinity of Jiangnan College Town gave in! The hole left behind by this subsidence of the earth has a diameter of 30 meters! According to the witnesses, there was a deafening explosion just before the earth gave in. The cause of this subsidence of the earth is still unknown. We encourage all the students in the nearby areas to pay attention."
This news was already on the website of the campus?
Hopefully, the government will come up with a cause for this ‘subsidence of the earth’.
Then, he kept scrolling through the website of the campus.
After scrolling for a while, a familiar name picked his interest—Zhuge Yue.
[Wahaha, I laughed so much that I thought I was going to die! This is our Chinese Kung Fu seen through the eyes of a foreigner—danger ahead, proceed with caution. Don’t drink water while watching this video!]
Then, there was a video taken from a mobile phone as well as a brief introduction.
"Last night, I accompanied my mother during a business reception. It was to welcome the foreign partner that had come to inspect the company. Then, this foreigner drank quite a bit during the evening banquet. At that point, he decided to show a few Chinese Kung Fu moves to the people at the reception. He said he learned these moves from an expert when he attended the athletic competition at his daughter’s school. Anyway, enough chit-chat. Look at the video!"
Song Shuhang froze on the spot—Chinese Kung Fu, foreigner, athletic competition, expert?
When alone, these words didn’t tell him anything. However, when he put them together… they gave him a very bad feeling.
He clicked on the video.
A tall and big foreigner appeared on the screen.
"Hiccup~ Today, I drank to my heart’s content. Everyone, let me show you a bit of Chinese Kung Fu! Chinese~ Kung~ Fu~! I recently attended the athletic competition at my daughter’s school, and there, I met an expert. And after begging this person, I finally received a set of lost techniques!" The foreigner spoke in an awkward Mandarin.
Then, he cupped his hands and saluted everyone.
At this time, he started to perform the so-called Chinese Kung Fu.
"Yi, Er, San, Si, Wu, Liu, Qi, Ba… Er, Er, San, Si, Wu, Liu, Qi, Ba… Si, Er, San, Si, Wu, Liu, Qi, Ba!" The foreigner started to shout this slogan. This was the ‘Second Chapter of the Calisthenics Radio Music <
The whole audience was rendered speechless by the ‘lost technique’ of this foreigner.
Several Chinese shareholders tried to suppress their embarrassment and decided to give him an applause!
Actually, they couldn’t help but stand up and applaud! Otherwise, they would have been unable to hold back their laughter! Therefore, they started to applaud to keep themselves occupied, so as to avoid laughing rudely.
And, in the worst case, they could cover their laughter with the sound of the applause!
In the video, Zhuge Yue already had a flowery smile on her face and was shaking all over.
Song Shuhang covered his face from shame, not daring to look straight anymore. Because, covering his face alone wasn’t enough to describe his current feelings—he knew this foreigner.
It was Joseph ‘Guy’ Maupassant. Song Shuhang’s nominal disciple!