Long-term relationships are at the core of networking, as well. Our survey respondents who believed that they should focus on building a relationship with someone before trying to do business with that person also indicated they have a system for tracking the dollar value of their networking. The system actually helps them focus on and nurture the relationship-and understand its business value over the long run.
Interestingly, most of the respondents who preferred a transactional approach to networking, (hit 'em up for business now and worry about the relationship later or never), used no system to track the money generated by their networking. They not only failed to focus on the relationship as one of primary importance, but they also didn't pay attention to whether their networking was financially productive. Isn't that a bit like saying maybe you'll remember some of the birthdays in your life if you're not too busy or distracted at the time, but either way it's no big deal? Really?
Both Genders Benefit From Tracking Attaching a system to your networking is key to creating more success for the time that you have to spend. Most networkers are out there just meeting people and adding to their networks but have not fully engaged the network that they have already developed nor are they tracking the activities or the results they generate.
Here is what Dr. Herminia Ibarra, INSEAD University Professor of Organisational Behaviour, had to say about going deeper into your network:It's the quality not the quantity of contacts and how you use them that really counts. Managers need to remember that networking is a two-way street, and they need to offer help and make connections for others in their network as well as expecting help from them. You can have the biggest contact list in your field, but if you only pick up the phone when you are in a crisis, you won't get far. That's why you don't want to leave yourself vulnerable to having nowhere to turn when you do have a crisis. Relationships take time, effort, and they each have their own rhythm. Depending on what you put in, what you give back to it, and to the extent you invest in it for the future, your network will be there for you.
That which gets tracked, gets done. When you track your activities consistently you understand where your successes occur and therefore where your time and energy is best invested.
He Says...
Tracking Is All About Systems.
As we have previously discussed, one of the most important things that you can do for your business is to create systems around everything you do. The more efficient systems you have in place, the more likely you are to be able to sell your business for a profit, create greater wealth, and predict your annual growth with regularity. Question: Why do we men like systems so much? Answer: Multitasking! We know from earlier in this book that a man's brain is not set up as well as a woman's to multitask. This means, if men don't have systems to remember and make things happen, we will forget whatever it is we are supposed to do. Ladies, stop nodding and smiling. We know you know this, we just can't let you know that we know this about ourselves too. This is why anniversaries and birthdays get missed by us on a regular basis. We are simple creatures. Multitasking for me means watching my favorite sport on TV, drinking a beer with my left hand, and having chips ready to go with my right without having to look away from a 52-inch screen. Much easier said than done. Trust me.
Creating systems around your network and referrals is no different. If you are going to spend your time networking, meeting people, collecting business cards, getting and giving referrals, then putting systems in place will allow you to do it with greater ease and success. I am always amazed when I take on a new client and we start talking about their database system-the very core of their network-and nine out of ten times they will bring out a shoebox full of business cards. (By the way, a shoebox was a technological improvement over my second desk drawer, which also held my stapler, tape dispenser, and paper clips.) Here are some tips with which to build a basic system:* Use a database. Having a database with all your contacts is key to growing a good network. I once sat down with a referral partner to survey and mine each other's databases. He went through mine and identified everyone he wanted to meet. When it was my turn to go through his, he brought out the shoebox. Who do you think got value out of that activity?The database should be sorted into functional categories. Identify the people in it by visibility, credibility, or profitability. Having a good database or CRM is key to your success when you are developing your network.
* Create a post-event follow-up method. Develop a system for follow-up after networking events. This is so important that you should allow a full day after your networking event to do all the follow up. You must also put a follow-up priority system in place. Who do you follow-up with first? As men, being the transaction-type animals we are, our first priority will be to follow up with those with whom we think we can do business. I am not saying that is what should be done, just what is done. This would be a good place for me to say: Men, don't put all your efforts into those who you think will be the most immediate clients. Ever hear the term, penny wise, dollar foolish? This would be an example of that. By not following up in a timely manner with those people who could be great referral sources for you and you for them, you end up going for the immediate money only. Meanwhile, you are letting all your pipeline business get away. Your network is not just about "today's money" but can really help you with "tomorrow's money." This is one of the biggest problems we have as small-business owners and sales professionals. We tend to not work on enough of "tomorrow's money" and therefore we are always working on bringing in the business we need now, which can get tiring and very stressful. By setting a focused follow-up plan in place you can get results for both your short- and long-term sales.
* Track your results. Where is your business coming from? Who is passing you referrals? What organizations are the most productive for you to put your time into? If you are not tracking your results, then you don't have any idea where your time is best spent to make money. If you have one or two people who are consistently sending you business, it would be wise for you to invest more time in those people rather than using your time to meet new people. Without tracking, there is no way to know where your results are coming from. One company started tracking all their business and found that it was not the salespeople who were bringing in the most business. It was the receptionist! Don't you think it might be important that this person be recognized for her efforts?
* Practice a thank-you courtesy. Please. Thank you. Excuse me. Didn't we learn this in kindergarten? These three phrases make the difference between the civilized world and the noncivilized world ... at least in my opinion. I want you to think of the people who are your networking associates not as friends or family, but as your most valued client. If your most valued client gave you a referral, what would you do? 1) Thank them at the moment they gave it to you. 2) Contact that person right away to show you truly appreciated the referral. 3) Communicate back with your top client to let them know that you had spoken to Mrs. Referral and what the current status is. 4) Treat Mrs. Referral like gold, because it came from your best client. 5) Inform Mr. Best Client of the final result. 6) Send Mr. Best Client a thank-you card or gift to show your appreciation for the referral. Yes? Is this a rough draft of the follow-up plan you would put in place? Of course! Why? Because they are your best client. You don't want them mad at you. You want them to see how serious you take the referral and how much you truly appreciate their trust, confidence, and energy. And, the selfish reason-you would like more referrals from them.If you have committed networking associates, THEY ARE YOUR MR. & MRS. BEST CLIENTS. They are willing to refer your business over and over, if you do the right thing. So, do the right thing. Say thank you every time you get a referral and follow the process above. The thank you is important, but keeping them informed is even more important.
I cannot tell you how many times I've given referrals to people and then never heard from them again. I love when people get back to me and tell me how great the referral worked out. It makes me feel good knowing that I was able to help a friend. It also makes me feel great to be appreciated. People love to be recognized for the things they do.
* Track your time. Time is money. How much time are you putting into your efforts? Are you making the appropriate amount of return on the time invested? How will you know the answer to that if you aren't tracking your time?If you take the time to implement systems around your networking activities, you will find that you get better results but, it will also allow you more time to do the other things that your personal three-ring circus requires of you. During the year you may have more time to attend events than other times. Even though you may not be able to network as much as you would like or feel you need to, you can keep in touch with your associates by putting touch point systems in place. These are time-savers. Sending cards out on a regular basis: Schedule it on your calendar. I have the birthdays of all my family members on my calendar. Not very impressive ... but wait, there is more. I also have scheduled to send a card in the mail to them seven days ahead of time. Are you impressed yet? There's more. I also have scheduled a shopping day to get the card one week before the day I need to send the card out. (No, not a whole day... but you know what I mean.) C'mon ... you ladies are definitely impressed now. Just admit it. Men are actually in shock and can't imagine ever putting this much time, energy, or organization into birthdays. Men tend to specialize in belated birthday cards. Why do I do this? Time. I am very busy. If I don't manage my time I will never finish what I need to.
Consider the investment of your time in networking as part of your marketing budget. Networking is about building relationships for future mutual benefit. It is a marketing activity. By putting your time into the marketing budget, you start to understand the importance of tracking because it now becomes part of the bottom line number you have to go after in order to be profitable.
* Go deep, not wide. I am sure you have heard over the years about how the TV and movie stars splayed on the covers of all the magazines and out with many people in the public eye tend to be home alone a lot. There are many people who network like this. They become very well known but have no real relationships with anyone in their network. So they have achieved their personal level of fame but they are not seeing any real benefit from it except being popular when they go out. We must be focused on developing the relationships in the network, not the size of our networks. Yes, men... you must be developing the actual RELATIONSHIP with the people in your network. It is important that we work in our network and not just on our network. Chances are you already know just about everyone you need to know to build a successful referral business, but you have not devoted enough time to go deep into your network. They say the average businessperson's network consists of about 225 contacts-people they actually know and have some type of positive relationship with. So if you have about 225 people in your network and each of them have 225 people in their network, that means you are one generation away from a little over 50,000 people. How many more people did you say you wanted to meet? Always growing your network is great, but spend a greater amount of time developing the relationships you currently have but are at a shallow level. Automating your network with a database system will allow you to spend time working in your network, building deeper relationships. Good systems will allow you to do just that-go deep into you network.
* Manage your social media. Dedicate time to updating and managing your Twitter, Facebook, and Linkedln accounts (or whatever platforms you use), and to create fresh, interesting content for your blog. These are great ways to stay in touch with your network, develop conversation with them, and find out what they need.One of my clients got seven new accounts by paying close attention to his Facebook page. His business focuses on disaster recovery, and during a time when damaging storms were raging across the state, he watched his Facebook page to see what his network was saying. He simply asked how he could be of help, and seven people hired him to help recover their homes.
She Says . . .
Systems Make a Difference.
Of the 12,000 people surveyed, more respondents said they did not have a system than said they did have a system. More importantly, women said no, they did not have a system to follow up more than men did! It is easy to see that the more systematic you learn to make your networking the more productive you are going to be. Male or female, having a system is key to success. For women this can really be a major key for them.
Women have fewer hours to actually spend networking. They have to balance family responsibilities from getting kids off to school in the morning to getting them to their after-school activities, home for dinner, and off to bed. Add to that all the other activities that they need to take care of in a given day and there is little time for networking. Having systems to follow up and stay in touch allows for more productive activities and results from your networking activities.
When we asked the questions: Do you have a system for follow-up? Do you track the business you get from networking? Do you have a system for staying in touch? Men and women were consistently close to one another.
Overall, more people said they did not have systems versus those that did. Having systems to do all these activities are key for men and women. There is no way to create success if your success is out in "airy-fairy" land. Hard facts and data tell you what you are doing well and what you are not doing at all. Tracking is a key factor in success.
BNI is an excellent example of this point. A good BNI chapter tracks everything from attendance, referrals passed, referrals received, and dollars generated, and they track this for each and every member in the chapter. The most successful members and the most successful chapters are the ones who track consistently and review those results regularly.
My Referral Institute clients spend a lot of time reviewing in class their activities from the week prior. They keep networking score cards that let them know what activities they are doing and with whom and what results they are getting and from whom. If they do not track they have no way of knowing who is referring them, who they have given referrals to, and what activities and organizations are paying off for them.
There is a saying, "What gets tracked, gets done." Nothing could be more true. Men and women alike take networking as a casual activity, they go to events, meet people, gather cards, and go back to the office. For most people it ends there. Organizations like BNI and some other groups have systems in place during the meeting, but if the members of those types of organizations do not have a system in place after they leave the meeting, they will have less success than those who do develop a system for their networks.
Track Everything.
There are so many things that need to be tracked:* What organizations you belong to and what results you are getting from them?
* How much time are you spending networking and working your network?
* How much money have you made as a result of your activities?
* Who is sending you referrals, and how much of your income are they responsible for?
You must have systems around all the tracking as well as systems for:* Following up with those people you meet * Staying in touch with your network members * Rewarding your referral sources * How you are going to help your referral sources Ladies, here is the key for you to understand: If you learn to use good systems, it will allow you to get better results in much less time. This will free up more of your time for family and personal life. The work and time is upfront developing and implementing the system. On the backside you will spend much less time going out networking and more time working in your network. For most of us, we already know all the people we need to know to make a living. We don't need to keep adding people to our network-we need to get into our network and start developing it.
CHAPTER 9.
Your Best Networking Self.
The Survey Says . . .
Our Findings Distilled.
What have 12,000 surveys, almost 1,000 comments and stories, numerous interviews, months of research, and years of experience allowed us to conclude? Below is a recap of the facts we uncovered, and we think it will help to keep these in mind as you follow the advice of He and She, as logic behind your new habits.
Study Findings, Summarized . Men and women were closer together than we expected in most areas.
. However, the perception of the difference is very dramatic. Remember: The exception becomes the perception.
. Women feel that networking has played a slightly larger role in their success than men.
. Women use a much wider variety of techniques to learn their networking skills than men do.
. Men are more likely to focus on business first than women are. Women are a little more likely to focus on building the relationship first-then the business.
. The time of day for networking was not a big issue for either gender. This was a surprise to us.
. Family obligations were more of a problem for women. Women definitely did not feel as safe as men in attending evening events.
. Men preferred either structured or an unstructured networking event. Women felt OK with either.
. Both men and women felt that other people were more uncomfortable networking than they felt about it themselves.
. Men felt stronger about transactional aspects of networking. Women felt stronger about relational aspects of networking. Men spent a little more time networking.
. Women received a higher percentage of the business from networking than men.
. The more time either men or women spent in their networking efforts, the higher the percentage of business they generated. The more often people used systems to track their business from networking, the more likely they were to feel that networking played a role in their success.
Men and women are not so different in the success they desire in business and networking. However the process, the mindset, and the way of making the results happen are very different. The reason is that we have different ways of viewing the world. Some of this comes from nature and some from nurture. What it means is that if we want to be more effective, we must learn how to respect, appreciate, and embrace one another's differences. We must understand that we can work more effectively together as a team in business and in our networks. We just need to learn to be adaptable, empathetic, sensitive, and understanding that THEY are not you.
You can and will beat the odds. The exception doesn't have to become the perception. It can be you!
Here is some parting advice from the whole team to take with you into your brightest future potential for networking success.
We Say . . .
We're all trying to get to the same place. It will be much more profitable for all of us if we can help each other along the way. Here are a few things to guide your success in networking with the complementary gender: For the Ladies For the Guys * Don't get stuck in the credibility phase of the VCP Process. Ask for what you want. * Slow down and build the relationship.
* Work through the VCP Process in the proper order of its phases. Don't race through the credibility phase.
* When asking for help, communicate clearly exactly what it is that you want.
* Make and maintain eye contact.
* Make time for networking.
* When speaking to men try to impress them and share your accomplishments. * Listen and ask relational questions.
* Don't assume that women don't take their businesses seriously.
* When spoken to inappropriately, speak up about it immediately.
* Don't hit on women at networking events.
* Dress for business at business events. * Edit what you are about to say, using filters to sift out what is not business appropriate.
* Put systems in place to trackyour business.
* Stay in contact with and follow up on leads, referrals, and acquaintances made. * Stay in contact with and follow up on leads, referrals, and acquaintances made.
* Diversify your networks. * Stay informed about the best, most current, and cutting-edge networking practices.
* Remember that networking is ultimately about getting business, so ask for both business and referrals.
* Develop and use systems for your networking activities.
* Convey an image to others that you are a serious businessperson, in all that you do.
* Make time for networking.
* Speak to relate not just to impress.
* Get educated about referral systems. * Remember that women are at networking events for business gain, just as you are.
* Don't lump all men into the same group.
The difference between us is a great advantage, not a disadvantage. By following the steps we have outlined in this book, you should be able to develop a more productive relationship with members of both sexes. As we bid you adieu, we send you off into the complex blue yonder of coed professional networking with gender-specific simplified checklists.
Good luck, and stay tuned to BusinessNetworkingandSex.com for the latest developments in business networking AND sex!
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