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"I thought I would have the upper hand at that time, I assumed that she would chase after me if I left, but she didn't. I waited at the door for a very long time, and in the end, I left in anger. By the time I reached my car downstairs, I was furious, which led to a car accident...

"I was in a coma for about seven months. When I finally woke up, the first thing I did was check my phone, but there wasn't anything from her.

"My life or death had nothing to do with her.

"When I was discharged, I bumped into her but it ended badly.

"Only later, because of family problems, did we get back together.

"That was probably the darkest moment of my life, but during that time, she stayed by my side silently. 

"The past few years, I've always been thinking, if it wasn't for her, how would I have endured that harsh period?

"Do you know? Ever since that period, I didn't want a corporate marriage or to become the best in the industry, I just wanted to marry her, to live my life simply. I had even gotten a ring for her to propose, but all she gave me in return was the abortion letter."

Xu Jiamu told all the minor details of his relationship with Song Xiangsi. Yang Sisi remained silent, never once interrupting him. She gazed at him steadily, taking in his loneliness, pain and sorrow... At this moment, she realized that behind his warm smile was so much pent up emotion.

"Our story ended at that time, we separated for three years, neither of us approaching or contacting the other. It was a time of zero interactions.

"From the story, it seems like she's the heartless one, right?" Xu Jiamu chuckled. "That was what I thought all this while, I saw her as cold-blooded and heartless. When we accidentally bumped into each other in Beijing afterwards, her nonchalance thoroughly broke my heart.

"At that time, I felt as though she didn't have a heart and that I shouldn't waste my emotions on her.

"I was devastated.

"I wanted to marry, to be with a simple girl, to have a child, and to live my life peacefully."

Yang Sisi seemed to have understood everything. "Was that why you asked for my number that night?"

Xu Jiamu nodded. "I admit that it was your name that made me want to interact with you, but I never treated you as a substitute, because... my subconsciousness kept reminding me that you weren't her... I wasn't able to hold your hand, kiss, or do any other act of affection...

"But, I was really hoping to spend the rest of my life with you.

"At that time, I struggled to change the influence she had on my life. I stopped wearing blue suits, stopped eating from the mushroom place, stopped eating her favorite cake... I struggled to adapt to your lifestyle, to remember your likes...

"I really wanted to let you into my life, but… I realized that I couldn't."

Xu Jiamu pressed onto his chest softly, smiling helplessly. "Because over here it's filled up, and there's no more space for anyone else."

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