03 こうしてチート生物は誕生した (Thus, an absurd creature was born)
"I don't want to be a succubus! Nope! Don't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"
"This is bit troubling, isn't it? Even if you say you don't wanna…"
As if she just remembered, she stopped mid sentence and looked at the clock.
[17:01]
"Thank you very much for using our service. The office will be open again tomorrow at 08:45."
"Nnonono,wait! Don't just abandon me half way through!"
"My working hours are over. We can continue our discussion another day."
"Don't joke with me! If it had to be like this then please bring me your superior!"
The office lady clicked her tongue and with a big frown on her face and reached for the phone next to her.
"Ah-, this is from reception no. 2, we have a bit of a problem. Yes, he isn't content with the designated race and is now throwing a tantrum. Yes."
Patience. Have patience.
"Try to comply with the demands as much as possible? But my hours are already over? I'm getting paid for this, right? A-, yes. Understood. Yes yes, I said I understood. Yes. Well then, excuse me."
The lady put the receiver back into place and let out a long, deep sigh that seemed as if her soul is escaping through her mouth. But immediately afterward she made a poker face and then turns towards me. The half dead person a few moments ago has been replaced by someone who actually looks professional. I felt like our conversation will finally be getting somewhere now.
"I'm sincerely sorry to say that your demands had been rejected."
"Don't lieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Didn't they just say to comply with my demands as much as possible!? Do your work!"
"I don't want to hear that from a shut in."
I had nothing to say to that.
"In the end, what about a succubus do you have problems with?"
"Well, to be honest, everything. Especially the fact that I have to drink cu-, drink that to survive. Is there anything else a succubi can eat?"
"substitute…? Really, if it wasn't for the fact that the manager will yell at me I won't even be doing this. Haaaaaa, so annoying. I really get the worse customers—”
Can I hit this lady?
"Hnnnnmmmmm? Seems like there's a substitute for it but it's something I've never seen before. It's something called [milk] or so it says."
"Milk!? I can drink milk as a substitute!?"
"You know of it? Is it common in your world?"
"Everyone in the world know it!"
"Looking at it, this liquid looks like cum anyway so why not just drink that?"
"Don't say something like that!"
"From what it says, because of the life energy inside of it is very thin, you would have to drink at least 500 ml per day to stay alive. Is that fine with you?"
"If it's just that much then no problem!"
I did it. I can see hope now.
If it's milk then it's possible!
"I don't want to pour water over your excitement but… Milk doesn't exist in the world you're going to."
"But it's just cow's milk?"
"A cow's? Well, there's no creature called 'cow' there. Aside from mother's breast milk, there's no practice of drinking another race's milk."
That… you're lying…
"That's why you should just give up. You can just go to a special kind of shop and they will gladly take you in. You might even make money out of it."
"Don't advise people to sell their body! If there's no cow then give a lifetime's worth of milk!"
"Won't it go bad?"
"Periodically delivered!"
"We have policy to not interfere with a reincarnator after the reincarnation is finished."
"Then give me a cow!"
"I see, there's that solution too…"
After saying that she will ask her boss about it, she grabs the phone and started talking again. Even I feel that this request is a bit too much though. It basically the same as asking them to create a new kind of life form. If it is really impossible after all then I guess I'll just accept my fate.
"They decided to grant your request."
"They did!?"
"Now don't complain anymore, okay? And although we said that we'll make this 'cow' for you, we will actually pull the image of it from your memory."
Seriously? That desperate remark actually work?
"Hmm? This, isn't this a minotauros? Wait, no, it's walking on four legs so it must be a different creature. But the face is that of a minotauros so the locals would most likely be surprised…"
And a minotauros exist there as well huh…
"It helps that we don't have to design it from scratch. We'll just use minotauros as a base."
"It sounds really strong… "
"They're a creature that has managed to get its own mythology after all. Please tell us anything you know about cows, okay? I have to go to a social gathering that is only held every half a year by 19:00 so every seconds is precious right now"
Is it really okay to hire this kind of worker?
I start telling a cow's trait and characteristics that I know while having such a thought.
"If I remember correctly, it won't produce milk until it has been pregnant for ten months so can I get a male and a few females? And a place to raise them would be nice too…"
"We already said we don't have that kind of budget! Have you even been listening!? If I made it able to produce milk all year long then one is fine, right!? Next!"
Look like she's really desperate to get home, huh.
"Umm, can I have a list of what it could eat over there?"
"I'll just make it so that it can eat both organic and inorganic matter! Next!"
Isn't this a bit too rushed? You're making a new life form, you know?
"I'm afraid that it might fall ill so…"
"Illnesses? Just give it [perfect bad status immunity] and it'll be fine! Any other characteristics it has!?"
"… I've heard that cows have 4 stomachs."
"4? You mean 4 dimensional, right!?"
She interpreted it in a strange way…
"Also, there's a story about how cow is a vehicle of the gods…"
"Vehicle of the god!? Then it have holy attribute, right!?"
"But I also heard that Water Buffalo is a mount of the devil…"
"So which is it!? Since it's so fucking annoying I'll just give it an affinity for all attributes!"
I can't even see the intellectual lady she was now. Also, please don't curse.
"There's nothing more right!? I'll input the data now, you know!?"
"One last thing, if it dies then my life will be doomed as well so when that time comes can you give me a new cow?"
"I said we don't have the budget! If it happens then just give up and go suck a cock!
"That's why I said that I'd rather die than doing that!"
"Yes yes, I understand. I-UNDER-STAND! As long as you're alive the cow won't age nor will it die! And it will always give you milk for as long as it lives! Are you satisfied now!?"
Well, I certainly have no complains left but..
This person, her head is so occupied by the meeting that she forgot how to think rationally.
"It's done! Look, since everything is finished I'll send you to your new world now, okay!? As long as it's safe anywhere is fine, right!?"
"Isn't you a bit too rushed? The meeting start d19:00 right?"
"A girl needs a lengthy preparation before a meeting!"
"To call yourself a girl how old ar- nope! I didn't say anything! Nothing at all!"
Even though she's smiling her eyes are sending chills down my spine.
"Fufu, pay it no mind. Ah, right, if I send a succubus down in the middle of town everyone will freak out and you need some time to settle down too, right? For those reasons I will be sending you to the edge of Rububu forest if that's okay with you."
"Eh, ah, yes. There's no problem."
What's this she is capable of being considerate after all? I guess I have to change how I see her.
"Orcs will come out though."
"What did you say just now!?"
"There's no need to worry. According to the data, the rate of people who enter the forest and survived are reassuringly less than 50%"
"How is that reassuring!? That's like sending me there to die!"
"By the way, if you die a second time then there will be no more chances for you so please take note of that."
"No wait! I'll apologize for asking about your age so please!"
"Now then off you go. You will find the cow at the site of transportation."
Without listening to me, a circle of light suddenly appear under me and the twinkling light rapidly grew engulfing my entire body.
"Please have a safe trip. May you live a beautiful second life."
With a sadistic smile on her face she swung her thumb downward.
"Please! Please calm down and listen to m-AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
As if to interrupt my sentence, the wall of light covered my vision, the last image of the office lady looking down on me imprinted in my mind before I gradually lost consciousness.
Hmm, what was it again? "A second life to let you fulfill your life's regret? Isn't that just a lie?
It had already filled me with even more regret and anxiety since the very beginning of this journey and just like that, I headed towards a life where a mistake could kill me in the blink of an eye.
*End of Chapter 3*