The counseling room was a space set aside for counseling and secret discussions. The fact we employed a full-time counselor was one of our school's selling points, but I'd never had the chance to use them.
"It's Satou. I'm coming in."
"This is Dorisen. Go right ahead."
Dorisen. Our homeroom teacher's nickname. Our generation had nothing to do with it, it was our seniors a year up who gave it to him. Originally, his tendency to be a heavily doting husband had him teased as Lovebird: oshidori fuufu; that eventually became Oshidori Sensei which was shortened to Dorisen, apparently.
But who in the world would actually use a nickname their students gave them on themselves?
"Pardon me."
Imagining something like an interrogation room, I timidly stepped in.
There was no cold feeling. An expensive-looking carpet and green curtains. A low table and sofa set. Alongside a television and playback device, there was even a coffee maker. I had never imagined such a space on school grounds.
A table across from me, Dorisen had taken a firm seat in the center of a sofa for three.
"Well, have a seat. You don't have to be so stiff."
"I see," I sat on his urgings.
"I heard you passed out, but are you doing alright?" Dorisen poured some coffee into a cup.
"No problems to report. I hear you're the one who carried me, I have to apologize for that."
"It's love, Satou."
"Hah?"
"My love as an educator. So you don't have to worry about it. I'd love to race through adolescence with you."
"……… Uh-huh."
I was beginning to get the feeling his name also included the implication of Dreamer Sensei.
"So anyways. About why I called you here. Do you have any guesses?"
"It's not about me fainting this morning?"
"There's that, and a little bit of something else."
I tried thinking, but wasn't hitting on anything.
"I don't know."
"Alright, then I'll be a man and come right out with it. But you should keep this in mind. No matter what happens, I'm on your side. Me and you, we're tied by the tight bonds of education!"
"……… Uh-huh."
In all my life, that was the first time I ever had to repeat the one and only peerless interjection for when one couldn't receive the conversation, "Uh-huh" over such a short interval. T-this man knows his stuff! … Apparently.
"There was an intruder in school yesterday, and it turns out it was you, Satou~, well I'll be."
I did a spit take with my half-finished coffee.
"Am I really that obvious!?"
"I mean, you showed up right on camera."
So there was a security camera…
"You've got it wrong, I just came to get my textbook… so I snuck into the school."
"I thought it would be something like that. Now about the other intruder."
"That unrepentant cosplayer?"
"Right, her. That girl, you see, she's one of our students. She's in our class, and her name's Satou just like you. You remember how we have a student who's been absent since day one?"
"Y-you're kidding me."
Satou? Ladies' Satou of the empty seat? That cosplay woman?
"From one Satou to another, have you known one another long?"
"You're wrong! I first met her that night at school."
"It seems you used fireworks to cause some trouble with our guards, and as both culprits were students of my class, the matter was left in my hands."
"I'm sorry." I obediently lowered my head.
"Alright. And so, I'll overlook it this time. I'll believe in your sincerity that you'll never repeat the mistake. However, in exchange, there's something I want you to do."
"A request?" If it was the price to look the other way, there was no way I could deny it.
"It's about your accomplice, the other Satou."
"Come to think of it, where did she go off to? Was she sent to juvi?"
"She disappeared just like that. She's always been like that. When I went to pay a home visit, she was gone the moment I took my eyes off of her. It's almost in the realm of paranormal."
"That's a skill that sounds convenient for crime. So what's your request."
Dorisen gave me his finest smile.
"I want you to become friends with that girl—Satou Ryouko."
"I refuse. Does my suspension start tomorrow?"
"Eeh? Why!?"
"The plea bargain has been rejected, end of story."
"It's not a bargain, it's a favor, Satou. Mens' Satou and Ladies' Satou, you should get along perfectly."
"Give me a break! Do you even know what sort of woman she is?"
"Her cosplay may be a bit much, but… if she makes a friend, I think she'll come to school. As a matter of fact, she did."
"But if I become friends with her, I'm quite sure I won't be able to be friends with anyone else."
I realized that was a terrible way to look at it, but it was the reality.
"… Yeaaah. Then how about this." Dorisen made his most radiant smile about all. "I, Dorisen will be your friend."
"You really are a dreamer sensei!"
"I'm an educator, so I think I have at least five students' worth of friendship power."
"Even with those incomprehensible calculations."
"You don't come by these education chances often. Satou Ryouko is obstinate in her inattendance But when it was in order to meet Satou Ichirou, she came just like that. The conclusion I must reach is…"
"Is?"
"That crest of the Satou drew you to one another."
"What's that even mean?"
"… I thought you were at an age where you would like that sort of thing."
"What even is the crest of Satou? Whatever the case, anyone but her."
"Mmmm, if a request won't work, I can make it an order. I can appoint Mens' Satou in charge of Ladies' Satou."
"You'll go that far…"
"Did it work?"
"Definitely not. I don't want to. She hurts to look at. I hate that sort of LARPing more than anything."
"Why's that? Did you do something similar in middle school?"
With a clang, my head felt it had been smacked with a morning star.
"Nn-n-nwaught eth ll! Y-yo-you're wro!" My creeper genes came out full throttle.
"I definitely didn't LARP and get bullied in middle school."
"As I thought. I didn't think you'd be the sort. But it's because you're like that, that I want you to understand how she feels."
It bothered me how he put it, but I didn't want this to continue.
"I'd rather not. In the first place, I don't want to get close to her."
"I'd get it if she was violent, but could you at least try not rejecting her on her attitude?"
"No, if she comes close, I'm sure I'll reject her the heck of it."
"Hmmm," Dorisen offhandedly tossed a document onto the table.
"Ah, sorry, I dropped something."
He acted so shamelessly so I took a look to find the words 'Record Enclosed: Satou Ichirou' on the cover. I opened my eyes wide. My student record. At the end, there was a separate entry compiled of a special report.
"Oh my, there's no way I could ever leak the contents of that document to the other students. If I ever did something like that, my dear, dear student might just be picked on."
A blatant threat. When he was so bold about it, I didn't even have the willpower to curse him.
"You'll accept, won't you?"
There was no way I could refuse.
The sigh facet had broken, leaving it constantly running. I understood it was unbecoming, but for now alone, I couldn't lie to my own feelings.
"Haha…"
Some dry self-derision. Today had shifted from a day of delight to a day to be kicked and dread on.
The classroom was deserted. I sat in my own seat and threw my body over my desk. I didn't have the motivation to head home, and my playdate arrangements had flowed away. To add to that, my hopes for high school had flowed by, hitting every step along the way. Thinking back, Dorisen's threat was pretty meaningless. My fate had already been decided. My unfortunate meeting with that sham mage would drop me back down to the very problem, probably.
Thirty minutes were required to wring out the insignificant willpower to be on my way.
"… I should go home."
The wind was blowing, spreading the curtain wide into the room. The refreshing spring wind mixed in with the sweet scent of hair. I blankly turned an eye. The blue witch sat on the windowsill.
"Y-you!"
I kicked back my chair. I had journeyed three long years, searching out my sworn foe and now here she stood before me— was the feeling I was getting.
"Dragon wave detected," she unerringly, brazenly leaked. "One of the terminals really must be in this building."
"Quit it with the lies. Your mask's already come off."
"Numerous precognitive tests have undoubtedly observed the existence of the dragon terminal."
"You don't have to do that anymore. In the first place, where have you been all this time?"
"Searching independently."
"So you were searching for something that doesn't exist." I sneered.
"… A remarkable deterioration has been detected in Ichirou's behavior."
"Whose fault do you think that is!?"
Satou Ryouko looked the same as ever. A robe and a staff. It was anyone's best guess how she operated covertly, dressed like that. No, no, she was definitely sighted. It's just, no one wanted to get involved, they were too afraid.
"I'll say it right out. You're not a witch from another world. You're just a high school student, the sort of boring commoner you could find anywhere, Satou Ryouko, and no one else!"
With my finger pointed at Ryouko (she didn't deserve an honorific), I awaited her mental breakdown.
"… Ichirou, it seems you have been subject to wavelength conversion."
"You've got your jargon bases covered. If you think lining up appropriate-sounding words will shut me up, you're way off."
"To put it in this realm's terminology, wavelength conversion is akin to brainwashing. A technique to interfere with the brain waves of a carbon-based activity body to influence their thought pattern."
"Yeah, yeah, again with that nonsense."
"If The Researcher reinitializes Ichirou's brain waves, the problem will be resolved."
"Hmm. Then if that doesn't resolve it, you'll have to admit you're just some delusional crazy."
"Negative. The Central Assembly exists, and it is an irrefutable fact that The Researcher is affiliated with the organization."
This girl, could it be she wasn't posing, but was actually seriously invested in her delusion?
"Commencing treatment. Sit in this chair and close your eyes."
She pulled out the end-row chair and put it against the wall.
"Fine. It's meaningless, and I'm going to go home right after."
"… If after the treatment, there is absolutely no change to your train of thought, then accepting your argument is a conceivable possibility."
"There, you said it. If you accept it, you'll have to quit it with that crazy cosplay of yours."
"Very well."
"And no arguing your way out if I haven't changed at all."
"Indeed."
"Got it." I sat in the chair and closed my eyes. "Just you try it. That reinitialization of yours."
It was more than absolute confidence. It was an undeniable fact that this witch was Satou Ryouko. That point alone eliminated any deviation. I had already won the war. After I made her quit cosplaying, how was I going to punish Ryouko? There was Dorisen's plan to consider, so I was best off making her wear a uniform and go to school. Admittedly, even if she did wear a uniform, it was impossible for her to make any friends. Right, if you fail your debut, it's over. I was over as well. But if I could take the assailant down with me, it could serve as some consolation.
"Don't move."
Ryouko's hands locked onto both sides of my face. As she lightly pushed back with them, my head touched against the wall. I grew anxious. Be that as it may, it was already too late. The ritual had begun.
Just as I thought I could hear her breathing up close, in the net instant, it had already been done.
What, you ask? Why of course, a kiss.
"Gnn————!"
I was kissed. Satou Ryouko kissed me. What was that supposed to mean? Why was she kissing me? What were we even talking about before? Something about brainwashing? If the issue at hand was resolved by the lack of evidence, the answer was a kiss. Incomprehensible.
"Nma, muh…"
My escape route was sealed from the start. The two hands holding my face. And the wall right behind my head. Today's trivia: if the back of their head is against a wall and only a finger is pressed against their forehead, a human is unable to stand.
Leaving behind an excessively erotic breath, Ryouko parted from me.
I stared dumbstruck a while.
Like hell I'd let her look down on me, I stood. Overlapping myself with the majestic form of Takeda Shingen in my heart, I was going to give it to her harsh.
"Toobabubabubu!"
That was the first time in my life I ever bit my tongue so consecutively.
By the way, "Too bad for you. I haven't changed in the slightest," was the plan. No vestige of the original quote was left. My source-text was bastardized. Like a wilting flower arrangement, I crumbled down into the chair. At that moment, my existence was lower than the decorative chrysanthemum placed over a hot bowl of noodles.
"You are presumably facing a temporary loss of language function due to reinitialization. You may see it as proof that the treatment was a success."
"… Kuh"
'Hehe, boss, your output can't handle this beat,' or so my chest rapidly throbbed. I was a beginner, so I was immediately set racing. My face was idiotically hot.
In contrast, Ryouko showed not the slightest red. She maintained a perfect poker face.
"… That's playing dirty."
She used a woman's weapons. All's fair in love and war, but seriously.
"In the search for the Dragon Terminal, The Researcher has been set as the master, and Ichirou as the slave. Now that the oath has been completed, Ichirou is obligated to listen to The Researcher's orders."
"… Order."
"Be at ease. The Researcher shall not make light of your life. In the event of the mission's completion, you have a guarantee that you will be promptly released. Additionally, the organization intends to compensate you in local currency."
She was going to pay me, this girl?
"You'll go so far in a kid's play pretend to pay someone money?"
The problem was approaching another dimension. My anger became something of some other dimension.
"As a result of considering the phenomenal world's emphasis on individual work, the reward has been deemed appropriate."
"Are you stupid? You're stupid."
Why could she throw aside what other humans held valuable so easily?
"That insult holds no logical validity. The researcher's mode of operation is determined by the Central Assembly, and as long as the intrinsic differences among individual units are finely regulated, the insult of idiot is inapplicable. While this may run contrary to the decision of the local collaborator enlisted for the mission of finding the Dragon Terminal, as long as Ichirou cannot comprehend the organization's circumstance leading to the dragon terminal's necessity, it should be impossible for him to deliver an all-encompassing verdict."
"Plenty possible. If you stick money onto it, that's all it'll mean to me."
"The Researcher is unable the target of the demonstrative pronouns of 'that'. The output of Ferula fails to decipher the complex mental state of phenomenal residents. Please designate the scope of 'that'."
"Don't screw with me… so thoughtlessly… the money, and the kiss…"
The recompense for foolishness is always paid after the fact. This girl was far too oblivious.
When I looked at her, my old wounds ached. It was so painful I couldn't stand to look at her.
"You're going to destroy yourself. If you end up like that."
"It is a common occurrence for an affiliated activity body to sacrifice their life to further the mission. The same applies to Ichirou."
"Why do I have to lay down my life for your freaking delusions?"
"Ichirou, you know too much. If you were not placed under my patronage, there is a possibility the organization would erase you."
"None at all, the organization itself ain't anywhere. The eliminaters aren't coming."
"There are times the Plenipotentiary Holder issues such orders to a Researcher as well."
"So what? You're going to be following me around forever?"
"Such is the result."
Dorisen's thread. Ryouko's stalker declaration. My naïve notion that the morning's events weren't yet fatal. They all mixed together to form a single solution.
"For the time being… if I find this dragon terminal of yours, my mission is over, right?"
I was going to be alone anyway. I'm going to be shunned regardless.
"That is correct. It will end."
"Dragon terminal, eh. I won't accept some punchline like it doesn't actually exist. Even if it is a delusion, it might have some true origin serving at its core. Can you tell me with absolute certainty that some item corresponding with this dragon terminal of yours actually exists?"
"The Researcher doesn't know what name the residents of the phenomenal realm have given the dragon terminal. However, if you desire a sample of a real article, I can present it on our next meeting."
If she would go as far as present it, the target itself would have to exist somewhere. There was an end. If I put my reasons to go with it and my reasons to deny on the scale, the latter was the winner, but… with all the supports below me crumbling away, in the end, it would be a small profit margin falling short of the decimal point.
"Fine. I'll help out."
"Then accept your reward."
Ryouko fiddled with her staff. In the handle portion, one of those coin dispensers they sell at the dollar store was built in. The small stack of coins became a mound on her hand.
That was what she held out to me.
"Payment."
A sum fitting of a childish game. How should I put it, it felt like I got angry for nothing.
"… I don't need your small change."