< To Survive and to Live (Part 3)>
The Wargrave group is now taken care of…
The monster group had depleted its troops while fighting against the Wargrave group, and Leona overpowered the monster group with her missile and junkwagon troops.
"Oh man! You're pissing me off!"
Leona utilized the fast junkwagon troops to attack the monsters and dealt consistent damage. Her junkwagon troops were upgraded to detonate when the unit was taken down by enemy units, dealing massive damage to them.
Leona was able to develop most of the skills, and her units were very powerful.
She murdered the Wargrave's executor troops, and she was out to hunt down the monster's boss unit, the devil. The devil unit was an extremely powerful unit, but the kid who was playing as the monster group overestimated the power of the devil unit, and did not bring in any support units.
Things were not looking great for Leona at the moment.
While Leona's main forces were fighting against the monsters, the devil unit was destroying Leona's base by itself. Leona was not able to counter the devil with her main forces, so she gathered some hunter units to fight against the devil. Hunter units were generally strong against a monsters unit, but it was not the case against the devil units. A devil unit was very powerful in that it required at least twenty executor units to bring it down. The devil unit had already regenerated for the third time during the game.
Leona quickly brought in the hunter troops to fight against the devil. The hunter units quickly engaged and starting shooting at the devil. However, the hunter units were not strong enough to fight against the devil. The devil dashed towards the hunter troops.
Leona calmly used several hunter troops to aggro the devil unit. Fortunately the kid was focusing on the battle of the main forces, and was not actively controlling the devil unit.
Leona was observing the two battle scenes and controlling units on both sides. Sara was amazed at the speed with which Leona was controlling the units.
Although Leona took some damage on her main forces, she was able to hunt down the devil with her hunter units.
"Oh no! My devil is dead!" The kid yelled as she realized that her boss unit was killed. Leona smiled confidently. Leona had destroyed the strongest units of both the Wargrave and the monster groups. Now, all she needed to do us slowly take down both bases.
"Don't underestimate my skills… huh?"
As Leona was celebrating her victory, she saw a message pop up on the bottom right corner of the monitor.
[You have succeed in hunting the devil with only hunter units.]
['Devil Hunter' unit is now unlocked.]
"What the heck is that?"
Leona was staring at the message that popped up.
Initially, she thought that it was weird for the wasteland people group to not have any boss unit. The nuclear missile was available, but it was not categorized as a boss unit. The wasteland people group indeed had a boss unit available. It just so happened to be that the requirements to unlock the devil hunter unit were tricky.
The entire tech tree had to be fully upgraded, and the devil unit had to be killed with only hunter units. There was no manual for the page, and nobody knew about the in game secrets.
It was nearly impossible to hunt the devil unit with the hunter units alone. Leona was able to hunt the devil unit because the other player was not paying attention.
Not many players knew about the devil hunter unit.
Anyways, Leona was able to unlock the devil hunter unit.
She started to produce the devil hunter unit. She could have finished the game, but she wanted to see the boss unit. In a short period of time, the devil hunter unit was made. The game did not have the best graphics, but it was a solid RTS game, and each unit was portrayed accurately.
The devil hunter unit looked ordinary. It did not have fancy weapons like the other boss units, the devil and the executor.
It looked very simple, and it almost looked like a regular hunter unit. However, as she looked at the devil unit closely, she found the difference between the two.
"… What?"
The devil hunter wore a black long coat.
And she spotted the massive grey sword on the back of the devil hunter. It was Phantomvein!
Mister?
Other kids would not have noticed, but Leona recognized the person.
Leona was puzzled why the devil hunter she knew was portrayed in a Wargrave video game.
Leona was shocked after finding someone familiar in a video game.
Leona came back to her senses after she heard someone talk from behind her.
"You look like you're having fun there."
It was Sara, not Leona, who was surprised.
"Wow! It's mister executor!"
"Wow!"
"Ramphil?"
The kids gathered around Ramphil, who had an executor badge on his uniform. Ramphil didn't know how to react as all the people came up to him all of a sudden.
As Leona noticed that Ramphil was by himself, she became anxious. Leona's face paled, and she asked Ramphil, "Where's mister hunter? Why are you by yourself?"
"The hunter went to the production facility to use the manufacturing machine. He will arrive soon."
"Oh, ah… really?"
Leona breathed a sigh of relief. Ramphil smiled as he watched her.
"The hunter would be so happy if he saw you now."
"Would you stop fooling around? But anyways, what's up?"
The kids were surprised to see Leona talk casually to Ramphil. An executor was all kids' role model, and Leona talked to an executor casually!
The kids knew that Leona was not ordinary, and Sara and the kids looked up to Leona.
"Let's go to the Warlord. He seems to want to talk to you."
As Ramphil spoke, Sara, not Leona, became very happy.
Zin was back from the manufacturing facility and taking a break in his room. He was planning to leave the fortress as soon as the armored vehicle was ready. He wanted to leave as quickly as he could because things could get complicated if the Heaven Power castle was taken by the enemy.
However, Zin sat down on the sofa quietly. He had many thoughts he kept to himself, but he could not think of good answers to his problems.
After a while, Leona came back. As soon as she saw Zin, she greeted him with a big smile.
"You must have accomplished the mission without a problem."
"Mmm. Yeah. As usual," Zin replied normally. "Is Ramphil coming?"
"Oh, yeah, he got caught by some kids."
The kids who were curious about the executor did not let Ramphil go. Just outside the room, Ramphil was answering their questions.
It was a funny situation, but Zin did not smile.
Leona stopped smiling as soon as she saw Zin with a serious look.
There was a long silence.
At times, the two spoke freely when they travelled together, and they also travelled without talking to each other at all. They didn't talk to each other because they did not have much to talk about.
It was the first time that Leona couldn't start a conversation, because she felt intimidated. Leona looked at Zin for a long time, and finally started to talk.
"I visited the Warlord."
"Oh, okay…" Zin replied, and remained silent again. Zin also didn't like the fact that he didn't know what to say. "You asked me to train you as a hunter."
"Yeah."
"I believe that you want to become a hunter because you want to protect yourself from danger while wandering the wilderness."
"That's true."
Zin continued to talk. "You told me that you were afraid of being alone."
"Yes." Leona did not deny it. Zin did not know what the Warlord and Leona talked about.
"If you stay here, you will not have to become a hunter to protect yourself."
"If you stay here, you will not be alone."
"If you stay here, you will be able to think about how you are going to live moving forward. You will not have to worry about survival."
The environment at the fortress was a blessing for someone longing for a safe environment. It was a great blessing to not worry about survival. As Zin watched Leona happily smile while playing with the kids, he told Leona about this.
There were no threats in the fortress. There was little hatred or scorn. The children in the fortress were kind to outsiders.
Zin thought that it was the right thing for Leona to remain at the fortress. Leona looked at Zin with a hardened face.
Zin did not directly ask Leona to remain at the fortress, but he was strongly advising her to do so. Zin took out the chipbox from his pocket.
"I will give the chips back to you because I didn't fulfill your request to train you as a hunter."
Zin had acquired enough chips to give back to Leona. Leona looked at the chipbox that containing about 5000 chips, and dropped her head.
Her eyes were getting teary. Leona thought about the conversation she had just had with the Warlord.
The wilderness is a scary place.
I know… but…
Leona, as much as it's dangerous to you, it is also dangerous for the hunter as well.
The wilderness is a tough and dangerous for someone to be actively protecting others. And you know that too.
Leona felt terrible as the Warlord reaffirmed what she had been thinking about all this time.
The relationship between Zin and Leona did not benefit anyone.
Zin knew that it was illogical to take Leona with him into the wilderness. And he was not able to easily ask her to follow him.
Leona knew that she was not much of a help to Zin, and she was not able to tell Zin that she was going to venture together with him into the wilderness.
Both of them were not able to speak what they had in mind. Zin calmly looked at Leona, and Leona looked back without crying.
Leona knew that crying did not help solve any problems, so she didn't cry.
Leona lifted her chin up, and looked at Zin. "Is that all you have to say?"
"Yes."
"Is that really all?"
Leona bit her lips. "Mister."
"Yes."
"Do you know something?"
"What?"
"You always let me decide how I should live my life…"
While travelling with Leona, Zin never forced her to do anything. If Leona decided to settle at a place, Zin would tell her to do so. If Leona told Zin to go away, he would go away as she said.
Zin did not try to dictate how Leona should live. He just tagged along with her. And even now, Zin only suggested Leona settle down at the fortress, and allowed Leona to make the decision.
"And frankly, I am not happy about it." Leona didn't always like how Zin treated her.
"I don't know what you are trying to say." Zin knew what she was trying to tell him, but he replied calmly anyways.
Leona continued to talk with a sad smile. "I hate people who try to manipulate others, but I feel so… sad when someone seems to not care at all."
It was the best way that Leona could express her feelings.
Zin knew what Leona meant, but he couldn't say any more.
< To Survive and to Live (Part 4) >
It was ironic that neither Zin nor Leona was able to say "Let's go together. We are all in this together."
Zin knew that Leona would live a miserable life in the wilderness, and Leona knew that she would be a selfish person to tag along with Zin because she was not of much help to him.
Zin and Ramphil were planning to leave the Harbin fortress as soon as the armored vehicle was ready tomorrow.
Leona's original goal was to seek a place where she could settle down, and the fortress was the perfect location.
Leona and Sara were sitting on a bench together. Other kids were still asking the executor different questions. It was funny to see Ramphil become so distressed, but Leona couldn't laugh.
"Leona, you are going to stay with us, right, right?" Sara smiled and asked. Sara was such a nice, polite and friendly girl. If she didn't approach Leona first, Leona would have stayed at the room idly. Sara helped Leona enjoy her time at the fortress.
Sara looked certain that Leona was going to stay at the fortress.
The monsters could not possibly harm Leona, so Leona could live at the fortress if she hid her true identity.
Although Leona enjoyed life at the fortress, when she looked Sara who seemed so happy, Leona felt uneasy and out of place.
The kids at the fortress never had to worry about their safety, and they were content that they were living happily at the fortress. They thought that Leona was an interesting friend because she lived through tough environments.
Leona felt strange when she looked at the kids who had no hostility toward her. She felt inferior and superior at the same time.
Leona felt superior because she gone through many more tough moments than these kids had.
But she felt inferior because the kids were pure and innocent and they did not have to worry about survival.
Leona had killed many people in order to survive. She was impure and felt uneasy looking at such innocent kids.
Leona realized that she would not be able to assimilate with the kids after looking at Sara.
Sara lived in a world where she could gain what she wanted. On the other hand, Leona did not have access to many things, and she had to fight for her life every day.
They are good kids. They are good people, Leona thought and was truly happy.
However, she did not want to be with them. She wondered if they would treat her the same way once they found out her bad nature.
Leona had witnessed too much of the sinful nature of human beings. Not just Reavers, she had seen many people who killed other people without remorse just to steal some cash.
Leona suspected that the people in the fortress were bad in nature as well. She thought that they were simply hiding behind a mask that covered their true identity.
As Leona struggled, she could not easily answer Sara.
That night, most of the lights in the fortress were turned off. Life in the underground was different than the wilderness. The main lights were turned on and off to control the day and the night. Walking outside a home during night time was prohibited, and everyone had to go to sleep. Ramphil, Zin, and Leona were inside the room.
Ramphil went to bed earlier, and Leona was also lying down on her bed.
Leona would be able to have her own home and room if she stayed in the fortress.Not many people would reject this opportunity.
Leona knew that Zin did not need her help. She knew that it would take at least another five to ten years of training to become a hunter that could be of help to him.
The fortress had all the things that Leona was looking for as a home.
But Leona was not able to go to sleep. Zin was going to leave tomorrow. Leona felt troubled.
—Creaaaak…—
Leona walked out to the living room to drink a glass of water, as she couldn't fall asleep.
And she saw Zin, who was sitting on the sofa and looking at her.
"Oh… I couldn't go to sleep…"
Zin nodded. Leona sat down on the sofa across from Zin. As she sat down, Leona thought that the fortress was not a bad place to live. Maybe it was okay to finally settle down…
Just as she was thinking, Zin started to talk. "You'll remember that I have lived a long life."
"Yes."
Zin looked at Leona and started to talk slowly. "I've met many different people."
He helped others, and fought along with others. He received help from others, and he became an important person to others. Zin didn't explain the people he met in detail, but Leona could understand Zin's feelings.
Memories flashed in front of Leona's eyes.
Mr. Hunter! Thank you!
A kid held his mother's hand and waved at Zin.
Fast-forward - in the middle of the ruins, Zin was looking at the corpses of the kid and the mom who were savagely killed by monsters.
Zin always saved others.
He saved and protected people from monsters and humans. However, the people who he protected appeared again as goners in front of him. Or Zin was not able to meet them again, as they were killed.
Humans always died.
Zin was painfully aware of this truth.
Hunter! Please rescue us!
People were screaming for help in the middle of the monsters.
Hunter!
Little children who were fleeing away from the junkwagons were killed by the Reavers.
I don't want to die.
Someone had his lower body torn apart and died in agony.
Please, at least save my child… please.
And there were people who were begging Zin to save their newborn babies.
Zin protected all of them at one point. Zin witnessed their deaths or did not get to see them again. Many villages that he rescued became piles of ruins later on, and Reavers feasted on the villagers that he once helped out.
He even saw people whom he saved become Reavers.
Why did people cling to chips?
It was not just because they prolonged the lives of people,
Leona was finally able to realize.
In the eyes of Leona, Zin was a perfect hunter but he was an imperfect human being.
He faced many failures in relationships and friendships. He was not able to protect anybody, and he did not get to see anyone live happily ever after. And he even had to kill his loved ones with his own hands.
The world was a cruel place for Zin who couldn't gain any happiness. Zin was not able to stop the sadness at the places that he left.
Zin only succeeded in surviving. Zin became numb to the failures.
He chose to remain as a hunter, as hunting was the only thing that he could do. Zin gave up living as a human being in the cruel world.
He wanted to remain a hunter.
And Zin only cared about getting more chips. He thought that it was less painful to pursue chips. If he didn't love anybody, and if he didn't care about other people, he would not get hurt by the loss of other people.
Killing a couple of devils will not change anything, a blonde man murmured as he looked at the dead body of a woman shredded by a monster. Next to her was a crushed monster's corpse.
I will quit being a devil hunter.
The image of the man faded, and a new image appeared.
You are going to miss me.
In the dark hall of a castle, a wounded and bloody woman was talking while kneeling down.
I don't believe that a person should accept her identity as she is.
A glimpse of a smiling woman riding on a junkwagon faded away.
In a brief moment, Leona glanced at the hundreds of memories passing by. She was not able to understand everything, but she felt a deep sadness.
It felt more like despair than sadness. Zin didn't know what Leona was looking at as he watched her.
Leona wondered what Zin had become after he numbed his feelings for so many years.
Leona couldn't fully grasp all his emotions, but she felt emotional just by glancing at all the memories. She wondered how a person could possibly live through that pain.
How could a person stay alive after going through all these events?
How could one even live even after experiencing all those painful events?
Could he continue his path with someone else along?
Zin was fully aware that all relationships led to destruction and despair. At the moment, Zin was walking with Leona, even though it was brief.
Leona was able to understand why Zin was keeping some distance with her, why his face hardened when they were getting friendlier, and why he wanted to drop her off at a safe location.
And she was not able to ask Zin to go together on the journey. Zin looked at Leona and said, "I came across too many deaths of too many people."
A hunter had to go to places where there was tragedy, and this was Zin's fate. Zin was smiling but it was a bit unusual. His smile seemed to be mixed with despair.
"Leona."
"Yes…"
"Back in Hewl-Jin, you said that I was a coward."
You are a coward, mister!
Back then, Leona yelled at Zin as he was leaving her. Leona wanted to bite her tongue as she brought up the past conversation.
And Zin nodded. "Yes, I'm a coward. I am afraid of many things."
He was not afraid of monsters or Reavers, but he was afraid of people. He was afraid of people who got close to him.
Zin was more afraid of Leona than the White Witch who was lurking around.
Zin was afraid of Leona.
"I had failed too many times, and I made… too many mistakes. I do not… want to face any more failures." Zin sounded very gentle, yet sad.
Zin was telling Leona that all people would die, and that Leona was not an exception and she would die at some point. He didn't want to see Leona dying in front of him.
Zin spoke in such a way because he realized that it was impossible to protect the people dearest to him. He was afraid that Leona would die in front of him. And therefore he was afraid of Leona.
Leona knew that she would hurt his feelings if she asked to go together.
However, as Leona faced the deep despair of Zin, she bit her lips. She didn't only read Zin's past memories. She realized that the old hunter was also afraid of being lonely, similar to how Leona was afraid. Zin lived in the middle of loneliness, but he didn't like it. He admitted his fate, and moved on.
"Mister, you are lonely too."
"You need me."
Zin didn't reply.
"I could stay here, and I know that it's going to be better for me. But…" Leona slowly but firmly spoke again, "I am not needed in this place."
The people of the fortress could welcome Leona, but she was not needed by them.
"But, I need you, mister."
"And, mister, you need me too. I'm certain of it. So, that is the reason… that we are talking like this."
If they didn't need each other, there was no need for this conversation. Parting and going their own ways would be enough.
However, Zin was stating the reason that he had to leave Leona behind, and Leona worried about Zin and could not ask to follow him.
They both needed each other, but they were only saying the reasons that they had to part.
Leona had to make a decision. She could live a comfortable life where nobody would need her help, or she could live a dangerous life where she would live together with someone who would need her help. People would make different choices, but Leona had made up her mind. Her will was getting stronger as she came across Zin's past memories.
"Once you said that it's worth more thinking about how to live one's life than simply surviving each day."
"I sure did."
Zin wanted Leona to live a comfortable life at the fortress by pursuing other goals in life.
Food and weapons were needed for survival.
However, Leona pondered what else would be needed to continue to live. Leona looked at Zin and spoke truthfully without any lies or pretense, "I do not want to stay here to survive. I want to be next to you in order to live my life."
Zin was not able to respond to what Leona said. Leona simply wanted to follow the lonely old hunter. As Leona learned why the hunter was trying to push her away, she couldn't leave him. Leona believed that Leona and Zin could be a bigger help to one another.
"…" Zin closed his eyes in front of the foolish yet wise kid. After a long pause, he opened his eyes, and started to speak slowly.
"Leona, I've lived a life that was full of mistakes and failures." His voice was trembling. "So…"
Zin continued to talk as if this was his destiny, "I think it'll be okay if I make another mistake along this journey."
Zin knew that he might fail again, but nevertheless, he made a decision that would put him in misery.
He didn't care if he got another scar on top of all the scars he received in the past. He spoke as if a scar was not a big deal.
Leona knew Zin had made a tough decision. She knew that Zin had faced many failures, and he chose a relationship that he knew would fail and cause him pain. Leona knew how tough it was for Zin to make that decision.
—Drop—
Tears started to fall down from Leona's eyes. She tried to wipe away her tears, but they continued to come out. Leona covered her tears quietly without making much noise.
"Arg…" Leona knew that crying would not help in solving any problem.
Even though she knew the fact, there were times when one could do nothing but cry.