Chapter 188: Vent
A plastic duck entered Zhang Xiao Qiang's vision, most probably a toy thrown aside by a child, the plastic duck had turned dark from time and weather. The dark yellow color had turned a pale yellow and the string fixed onto the toy had traces of rot. The toy was placed on a flight of cement steps to his left. Following the steps up was a platform, in which he slowly headed towards. Two old and large trees that trunks could only be wrapped around with a few people was placed in the center with cement flooring around them, the rugged bark of the tree told Zhang Xiao Qiang of their history and age, that it had witnessed the emergence of the town, its development, all the way till its destruction….On the platform was an old-fashioned building, its doors were the old-fashioned wooden doors painted yellow with little glass embedded in it. Due to the passing of time, most of the yellow paint had been eroded away with many blade chips and scars left by playful little children. On the right of the door was a large wooden plank with the words [xx Town Apothecary] written in black. A dim light could be seen from behind the door, making it look as if the interior was extremely gloomy. Zhang Xiao Qiang was only able to vaguely see the green paint of the walls with some of it flaking off due to moisture.
The torchlight moved around the hellish looking clinic. Zhang Xiao Qiang walked into the small space alone with a torch and silver pistol in hand. The entire place was silent, the only sound in the space was the echoes of his footsteps, resonating far out and echoing back like a phantom. He looked inside the messy room where there was broken glass, overturned cabinets, scattered medical notes and a white gown, to which he was stepping on. After checking the room out, he continued to move on. Right at the moment when he turned, a small and red cloth doll coincidentally entered his line of sight, the little red cloth doll was thrown at a corner with a layer of dust all over it….Zhang Xiao Qiang looked at it in shock. His heart had long been turned to stone by the apocalyptic world that made everyone crazy. His cowardice, weakness, hesitation, and fear of the past no longer appeared, but the scene before him caused his heart to twitch violently. He was in a child's infirmary ward, small chairs, tables, and many building blocks at the corner. The white ceiling had many colorful flags hung all over, with various drawing cards pasted all across the wall and a red colored rack with a few glass bottles of glucose injections by the side of the room.
He carefully entered the infirmary where bones were scattered all around. Some of the bone frames were very small and slim, different from an adult skeleton, these bones were hacked into pieces. Seeing all of the small bones, Zhang Xiao Qiang slowly sat on the dirty floor. A few meters away from him was a small skull which had a few pieces of flesh left, its hollowed eyes stared at him quietly. That was when the pent-up and suppressed emotions in his heart erupted.
"AHHHHHHHHHH…." He released a beast like a howl as tears kept flowing down from his eyes to the dust-filled floor. He cried a heart-wrenching cry, seeing all of the young victims, thinking about the ghost-like town and about his struggles in the apocalypse, he used his hoarse voice to unleash the depression in him. He was no Superman, he was no hero, he was just a petty and minor person in society, he knew pain, he knew sadness, and he needed comfort as well. But he would not, could never reveal the weakness in him. The apocalyptic world is a bloodstained and cruel world that would not give in to you just because you are weak, it is like a lone wolf that strolls in the darkness, occasionally staring down at your neck. As long as you showed any weaknesses, it will pounce on you without hesitation and use its cold teeth to impale your Adam apple.
It is the embodiment of omnipresence, it is the zombies staggering across the wilderness and cities, it is the variant beasts hidden in the darkness, also, it is a human being like you and me. Zhang Xiao Qiang's constant appearance of being cold and strong was a mask to disguise his true emotions, his heart had never changed. He was still the man who ran out of his house because of a few pieces of vegetables, the man surrounded by over 100 zombies in despair. He had always been afraid in the deepest part of his heart, but he could not be, he had to force himself to be a strong survivor. But even as a bogus, he still did not know what a truly strong man held in his heart, he knew that he needed to cry, he needed to vent. When he walked out of the clinic, he had returned to the fearless man that faced off against the D2, the emotionless man who could behead others, the cold and ruthless man that led his subordinates.
The men happily broke into the private houses, the ladies carried their backpacks and happily kept the things they wanted. Yang Ke'er brought the little girl and rummaged into snacks. Shangguan Qiao Yun carried her M1 Garand Rifle and quietly observed the isolated Zhang Xiao Qiang, seeing his lonely expression, her nose started to feel sour for no reason, the corners of her eyes turned dry as a teardrop reverberated in her eye. Seeing the desolate look of the man, her heart stung with pain.
The man walked in front while she followed behind from a distance. She followed very carefully, stopping when he stopped. When the man stood in the middle of the street in a daze, she would hide behind a wall and look at him fall into a daze. When the man looked at the mountains, she looked at his back. When the man looked at the flyover, she looked at his back. When the man raised his head to look at the endless sky, her eyes remained fixed on his back. When the man continued to walk, she quietly followed.
She carefully followed behind while she watched the man fall further into his depression, and suddenly felt that her heart was so close to him. She never saw what the man saw, but only had him in her eyes. Seeing his average length shoulders, she understood him. She suddenly understood him. She never got to hear his soft mumblings, she never saw the desolation in his eyes, but she understood him. Strangely, she had always been extremely understanding towards men, she had her fair share of experiences with various types of men, the refined and courteous, the arrogant, the cold and dangerous, the wretched and vulgar, the fickle and impatient, the stable and strong, handsome, ugly, crazy, weak, and even those that were willing to die for her. But she could never see through Zhang Xiao Qiang. Yet from him, she realized that her understanding towards men was so shallow because she realized that she never truly understood a man's heart.
But at that moment, she strangely understood his heart. From his back, she saw the loneliness, she saw through the silence, she saw the oppression he had always been hiding. The powerful and strong behavior that Zhang Xiao Qiang always maintained in front of the others had vanished completely when he was alone. Furthermore, only Shangguan Qiao Yun took the effort to carefully observe him. What is he attracted to? He slowly climbed up the steps and reached the next level. He looked at the old tree, then at the old doors, all the way until he walked in…..The house was extremely dark with the corners even darker due to a few rays of light shining in. The dark corners looked extremely eerie inside the space, as though there were dark phantoms hiding in ambush and spying out. Shangguan Qiao Yun walked into the eerie room, she was not scared or even fearful at all. She supported herself against the peeling walls and walked further in, her footsteps extremely light to the point that they could not be heard. She did not want to alarm him because of her presence as she walked further in, where thin beams of light penetrated through the stale air, the darkness in the room gradually dissipated. She kept on walking until she saw the dark red cloth doll…..She leaned on the door and saw the man kneeling down on the ground, sobbing. This was the man that had always been indifferent, the high-spirited man that stood on the front loader, the man that hung on a monster's body and unleashed shots onto the monster. In everybody's eyes, he was that strong, cool, ruthless. Yet here he was in the dark and sealed space, crying as though he was hurting. Why is he crying?
The torch rolling on the floor coincidentally beamed its orange light onto the many small skeletons and bones. Seeing these tender and small skeletons, tears started to fall from Shangguan Qiao Yun's eyes as well….With her vision in a blur, she walked into the door and slowly knelt behind the man, extending her soft arms and hugged him tightly from behind….