Disclaimer: I do not own Ao no Exorcist. Katou Kazue does and this novel is by Yajima Aya. Please support them by buying the novel if possible. I also do not intend to infringe any copyright laws by sharing my translation of this novel. It is to fill up the language gap of those unable to read the original or official translated versions. If this novel does get translated by Viz someday, I will gladly take my translation down.
Also, this is a double-translation. Therefore, the translation process is Japanese -> Chinese (by the professional Chinese translator)-> English (by me). I try to make it as accurate as possible, but please bear this in mind. Also, I love making translation notes, so if you dislike them, just bear with them.
Finally, this is not proofread at all. If you see any typos or grammar mistakes, please inform me.
Sir Pheles’ Beautiful Day
Hello everyone, we meet for the first time.
I am Mephisto Pheles. I love Assiah, I love Japan even more. At the same time, I am a gentleman who pursues the [[tranquil emptiness of heart]], [[warrior soul]] and [[moe]].
(t/n: I’m sorry for awkward translating but you just have to know that Mephisto is an otaku.)
Don’t look at me like this, I am a renowned knight of the True Cross Order—in other words, an exorcist. I use the pseudonym of Johann Faust the Fifth, taking the responsibility of being the Chairman of True Cross Academy…… Oh, sorry, of course I am also the principal of [that exorcist school].
Occasionally I will transform into a cute little dog to observe classes, because this year a [unique] student has arrived. He is my friend’s adopted son, a very interesting teenager—No, I digress, sorry.
Today, I shall let everyone see a luxurious and elegant day in my life.
It’s the first time it’s being shown in Assiah, don’t miss it……
Then, 1, 2, 3 (eins，zwei，drei) ♪
—7:05 AM
My residence is the topmost floor of True Cross Academy. The view is excellent, especially the majestic view of the sun’s rays reaching into the window. To me, it is quite glaring since I come from Gehenna, but the dreamlike beauty of the sunrise captivates me like the dark shadow of night covering Assiah at night.
Really, I digress again—
I hear that sufficient sleep can enhance the brain and bring radiance to the skin. Come to think of it, I just slept a sufficient one hour but my heart feels emptiness, which simply means that I’m unhappy ☆
Why is this so?
……Ah, this unpleasantness must be how my younger brother Amaimon spoiled my precious video game yesterday. Really, his unhygienic actions are really intolerable, that game is the talk of the town of die-hard gamers! Although the ignorant are innocent, but this kind of offense cannot be forgiven.
—Ah, by the way, I must wear a bathrobe when resting in my room. This is the heart of Japan that the ancient warriors have worn. I thought this would help me comprehend the secrets of this country. After coming to Japan, I immediately requested for a hundred bathrobes with different patterns. Today the number has tripled. One of my favourites is this one with a motif of a starry sky, using [Mephisto’s special pink] as a background for this shining bathrobe ☆ Of course, this special product is personally designed by me, Mephisto. It is not being sold anywhere in the world, I apologise.
[Pheles-sama, if you’re awake, let me send you breakfast.]
Oh, my outstanding servant immediately noticed that I had woken up.
[Would you like an English or American breakfast? Or do you want me to arrange for breakfast from a Tokyo restaurant by supersonic plane?]
(t/n: The second sentence uses the old-fashioned way of saying breakfast and restaurant. It’s untranslatable but I thought I should mention it.)
Hmm—warm coffee milk (café au lait), frashly boiled hot coffee, sumptuous eel soup, I have no mood to drink these today. How troubling.
(t/n: Café au lait is coffee with added hot milk. Contrast with milk coffee which has room temperature or cold milk added)
[How about Chinese congee?]
This is ordinary, it does not whet my appetite.
[Vietnamese pho and green papaya salad?]
I want to try a charming breakfast that could touch people’s heartstrings…… with this kind of situation, I usually have an ultimate order.
[I’ll have a [Mephisto Special Breakfast] today.]
[Roger, I’ll prepare it.]
The outstanding servant bowed before turning around and leaving, how excellent. An outstanding servant should be submissive and follow his part, following every order of the master. This is the best servant.
No matter what, he cannot be like a mother, nagging about nutrition and junk food.
Anyway, I recently saw Amaimon relishing [True Cross Academy Speciality • Roast Bomb]. However, that guy is different from me, the connoisseur. He is an animal that eats anything. Hmm… the food in other people’s mouths is always more delicious. This is an unchanging principle whether in Assiah, Gehenna or even between humans and demons.
When I summoned my outstanding servant, he already pushed in a [Mephisto’s Special Pink] trolley dilled with hamburgers, instant noodles, various cakes. There is even takoyaki in there, this is perfect. I’m so careless, I go as far as forgetting to list another important quality of an outstanding subordinate—……
That is astuteness. To prevent creating unnecessary pressure, this is imperative.
[You called me?
[—No, nothing.]
The subordinate bowed after hearing my answer without asking anything else while starting to prepare the dining table.
The warm sunlight spilled endlessly in front of the whole window. The dining table shined brilliantly in that moment. Looking at the food I love gradually filling up the table, ah—what a refreshing morning.
[About today’s schedule, at 1pm, there is a True Cross Order Headquarters meeting at the Vatican.]
After eating, when I wait for a change of clothes, the servant recited today’s schedule.
Just saying, my full outfit is not the uniform of the True Cross Order, and I had it specially tailor-made for myself. It has the Mephsito special pink that I love most, with a scarf full of white polka dots…… Also, the coat buttons and tights are of the same pattern.
Ah, I digress again.
[Is the meeting at the Vatican Headquarters?]
The old thief occupying the Order—Oh, how could I say something bad accidently, no, to face these old geezers who are too free and keep holding on to power, is so unexciting. My rare refreshing morning is seemingly ruined, this is not okay.
[Tell them that I suddenly have an emergency.]
[I heard that today’s meeting includes important matters and the selection of a new [[Paladin]]].
[After Fujimoto died, if there is going to be a current exorcist to be chosen as Paladin, it is most likely Angel.]
Although he who is like a flower in a greenhouse has standards not far from Fujimoto, but conquering the Order at a young age makes him easy to control.
(t/n: The ‘flower in a greenhouse’ thing is a very common Chinese saying and I translated it literally. Basically it’s a term mocking a sheltered person)
[It’s just for show, the meeting procedures are meaningless.]
[But……]
[Those old geezers summoned me to investigate [[that incident]], those troublesome flies are best left ignored.]
[Please leave.] I said. The servant scrutinised my face before showing a terrified expression immediately but immediately recovering his original poker face. He bowed deeply before leaving.
This makes me happy.
If he said more, he would meet the same fate as his predecessor.
After getting used to it, changing a new servant will be very troublesome. I don’t like to see something like this happen.
—So, the meeting was cancelled. How will I spend my spare time? I don’t feel like working. Even if I am the chairman, I need the occasional break ☆
I should find the game that Amaimon spoilt yesterday.
——11:30AM
Nothing……
Neither Amazan nor Yahaa! Have anything on auction.
I left messages on my Nixi and Witter for the time being, to wait for people to give me information.
Anyway, I’m bored at this point of time. The documents from Headquarters are piling up. I should go back to work.
Oh yeah, yesterday, the new teacher Okumura-sensei said that [I want to use the home economcis lab at the high school at noon], for what purpose?
What does he want to do at the home economcis lab? Hmm… I’m curious, so curious that I can’t concentrate on work,
He is the type of overly serious teacher, so he should not do mess things up. But I should still check out the situation as a senior teacher.
Ah, this is not an excuse to skive off work. I am a complete gentleman, yo.
Oh yes, it’s been a long time since I last visited the school compound. If I meet any envoys from the first branch, it would complicate matters. I should transform into my dog form to go ahead.
Just saying, not all exorcists can transform. I am different from the masses.
Eh? Very cute right? Of course it is ☆ The co-op at the True Cross Academy and the stores at Mephisto Land sells merchandise of Dog Mephisto based on me. I honestly recommend the Dog Mephisto plushies. Sizes available are small, medium, large, extra large and super large. One of the super large plushies have a size on its back… Really, I digress again.
Huff… I finally reached the block with the cooking labs.
Transforming into dog form is cute, but the short legs make walking tiring.
Oh? Isn’t the girl walking down the corridor Kamiki-san from the exorcist school? What a coincidence to meet her in this kind of place.
Kamiki-san is a genius in the class and also has the talent of being a knight out of the exorcist school. According to reports, she has the bloodline of witches and can summon two white foxes at the same time. The oldest son of the main branch of a certain temple started going to the school this year too. This year is a rare one with the arrival of students of such bright futures and this is something that the manpower lacking exorcist school should celebrate.
—Anyway, why is Kamiki-san staring at me so intently?
Her eyebrows were deeply locked as she looked at me without blinking. Maybe she hates animals? This is a rather rare trait in females. As a gentleman, I should leave as if nothing has happened… As I thought of that, she followed me closely and looked around.
As expected, I could only barely know a person through personal information and occasional meetings. So Kamiki-san is such a suspicious person.
Oh, she walks towards me. What do I do? Ah, she squats down.
[What happened? Little doggy, are you lost?
[Be good ♡ don’t be afraid! Nee-san will help you find an owner~~♡]
[Mmm—soft and fluffy, how cute~~]
……Ah! How could I stop thinking for a moment?
If she holds me at her chest, as a first-rate teacher, I will lose many things. This cannot be compared to sitting on Okumura-kun’s knees.
[Ah, little doggy, where are you going?]
That was really close.
Whew, there should not be any problems if I leave this place. But honestly speaking, I was really shocked.
That Kamiki-san even……
Females are sure unpredictable. I thought she was a cold and arrogant female student, yet I got to see her [tender] side. I never thought that it would happen in the 3 dimensional world, I could actually see the legendary [tsundere] with my own eyes…!
My favourite type is the [charismatic girl] or the [pretty girl with the sad past]. But with this experience, I think that the [tsundere] is also quite attractive. No, [moe] is indeed so deep, even I Mephisto bows down to it.
Alright, I’ve reached the cooking lab, I should transform back to my usual form.
Oh, why is the cooking lab a little noisy?
There seems to be an advertisement on the door, what does it say?
—Home-cooked food. Okumura-ya. Every day special set meal for 500 yen.
What vigorous and artistic writing. The [mura] kanji of Okumura-ya is impeccable.
No, it’s wrong. What’s this?!
This is the cooking lab of my True Cross Academy High School Department.
Why did it become a food stall at a street?
Also, there is a piece of scrap paper that has seemed to be disposed due to writing mistakes. Littering is not allowed on campus, how many times must I say this before it is understood? Really. Oh, this piece of paper is written on with black marker. Let me see…
—Lunch at 500 yen.
Ah! Due to being in shock, I stiffened, this is not okay.
It’s just messy handwriting, making lunch look like cow meal.
(t/n: I have no way to translate this pun. Lunch in Japanese is 午餐 which literally means afternoon meal. On the paper, it is written as 牛餐 which has the middle stroke being slightly longer than the previous. 午 means afternoon, 餐 means meal and 牛 means cow, so that’s why I translated it this way.)
But even if I used my knee to think, I could guess who wrote which of the two sheets of paper, invoking the nostalgia of my heart.
[Ah—thank you for visiting! Welco-]
[I want a daily special set with a large serving of miso soup.]
The exorcist school student who got so scared as if she ate nails is Moriyama-san. I never thought that such an earnest and cute girl would be in this. How sad.
[I don’t remember giving you all permission to use the lab to run a business?]
[…Sorry.]
Oh, this miso soup is made by drying fish, the taste is amazing. Most importantly, this piece of mint leaf makes it irresistible.
[Otherwise give me at least 5000 yen for pocket money a month!]
[No way.]
[Why, aren’t you a good person?]
The mackerel miso also tastes sweet.
This complete does not lose to a top-notch restaurant.
[Because 5000 yen notes are boring… 2000 yen notes are more interesting.]
[What kind of reason is this?! I can’t even dream of this!!]
The vegetables are also fried just right.
If I alternate tasting these shred onions and spicy sesame oil mentaiko, I could eat all the white rice.
[If you don’t like 2000 yen, how about 100 yen notes? Recently I like buying 100 yen things. Ah, another miso soup~]
[Who cares about your personal interests…!]
[Nii-san…]
Oh yeah, why is Okumura-kun so angry?
——PM02:35
I checked my phone. There is news about that game from witter ☆ It is really a good friend of a bored otaku.
meffy
I don’t think I can still buy it??? (ˊAˋ▫) Oh, if you find it
3 hours ago
hetareGamer
10 minutes ago
I immediately drove my beloved car there. Just saying, my beloved car—a limousine is also Mephisto pink as well as its interior with all sorts of famous wine from Assiah in the bar for me to enjoy. No need to mention, all these are custom-made, I apologise.
—Almost reaching the South Cross shopping district. Driving the limousine into the shopping district is too rude, I should park somewhere nearby and walk.
As a gentleman, I have knowledge of such matters.
Oh… there is a gaming shop here. Elementary school students on the way home are gathering in front of the claw crane and the grand prize is also a Usakichi-kun plushie that I love most.
(t/n: Usakichi is of course a reference to Katou-sensei’s earlier work, Robot to Usakichi)
My hands feel itchy—ah! No, I must ignore it and go straight to the toy shop that hetareGamer told me about instead.
[Achi, you’re brilliant! You’re godly, getting three in one go.]
[Exactly, god of the crane machine, there isn’t anything that you can’t grab, is there?]
[Afterwards, give me that rabbit!]
[Huh?! This is too simple, I can get it even with my eyes closed.]
[Achi, you’re fantastic!!]
Ah, looks like my diamond-sold, iron-strong tolerance has reached its limit.
[—Ah? Who is this pink oji-san?]
[What does this oji-san want to do? He seems dangerous?]
[We’re playing the crane machine yo—]
[Can you not disturb us?]
Kekeke… Little children, I’ll let you witness the true god of the crane machine.
——PM04:10
Really, I accidentally made the children serious about this. How did I… anyway, being called and idolised as [god!] by innocent children feels fine, although I am a demon ☆ hehe ☆
Also, I bought lots of games at the toy shop and even caught the super rare Usakichi-kun plushie so it ended up well.
Oh? It seems that someone is in my room. Is it Neuhaus? If it is someone from my branch, I’ll pretend that I’m not around.
[Nii-san, you’re back.]
[…So it’s just you, Amaimon.]
I have too many things to tell you.
I gave him a most condescending glance at my younger brother, only to see him take out the controller of the PSR slowly.
[I practiced hard at Nii-san’s favourite fighting game.]
[Oh! How great.]
[Because I want to compete with Nii-san.]
Hmmph. You younger brother wanting to tackle me? Alright.
I’ll let you see my prowess at [Moon Spirit Ancient Martial Arts Secret • Crescent Moon] then.
[Heavy collision] Crash!
[Moon Spirit Ancient Martial Arts Secret • Crescent Moon] Kill kill kill!!
[Wah ah ah!]
[KO!!]
[Revive and start again.]
[Nii-san is amazing—Hmm~~]
Of course, the difference between our experience is like heaven and earth.]
[How delicious. Om nom nom.]
[Uwoh oh oh?! How dare you—?!! You ate my custom made [Mephisto Pink] coloured controller!!!
——PM07:20
[Nii-san, you look really sad, please cheer up.]
[…You do know that you’re the cause of this, don’t you?]
After yesterday’s game, even my custom made controller was spoiled—no, was being eaten. I was so sad that I even felt afraid about it. Now my emotions are at rock bottom, full of thoughts about how it would be great for misfortune to befall everyone but me… To heal the wounds of my heart, there is only one way: to eat my third most favourite food—[cheese pork monjayaki] ☆ (t/n: Monjayaki is a type of Japanese pan-fried batter with ingredients according to Wikipedia)
Therefore I went to a deserted and satisfactory restaurant outside the school campus to have dinner.
Of course, I ordered cheese pork monjayaki and ramune. (t/n: ramune is a type of Japanese carbonated soft drink that is usually lemon-lime flavoured, deriving its name)
I have a painful memory of when everyone celebrated after the new students passed their exams and my cheese pork monjayaki was eaten by Okumura-kun. How despicable, that son of Satan should go die…!! –Just joking, I am obviously not that impulsive? I’m not boasting, I am a really good and kind older brother.
Let’s see, it should be ready soon?
[Nii-san, it’s delicious—om nom nom.]
[You don’t say, the cheese pork monjayaki here is my third most favourite food, you know.]
[Nii-san, it’s super delicious—om nom nom nom nom]
[Eh…w-wait!! I just said, this is my third most favourite!! Nobody swallows the metal plate along with it!! Ah~~! My cheese pork monjayaki!!!]
Damn son of Satan…!!
How dare he snatch what I like from me. How unfortunate to have younger brothers like this!!!
Nixi
Sad ☆ [Viewable to friends of friends] XX/XX/20XX
▫▪°°▪(≧Д≦)°°▪▪▫ Boohoo!
But an amazing work is now in my hands, I feel a little happier… (*′
`*) keke ♩
♡ Like!
——AM00:00
In a large building still in construction of True Cross Academy, a huge white beast seems to be looking down at the world. Mephisto Pheles stood on one of the scaffolding like a shadow, showing an expression that was hard to describe. His face revealed a dark smile that cannot be connected with his bright persona during the day. One could not tell if his expression seems to be angry, maybe he looks distracted and it looked like he was sneering.
[What a beautiful night scene.]
In the darkness, Mephisto Pheles (one who doesn’t like light) muttered to himself.
The man tolerated the pain of being possessed by the magically strong Mephistopheles. His body was exhausted and under his eyes were deep eyebags while he gazed at the night scene listlessly.
[Anyway, this is the world which could not help celebrating after God’s six days of creation.]
His possessed body spoke deeply.
[Then you should entertain and interest me—]
His mouth curled into a smile before being surrounded by darkness before fusing with it.
The action of pushing both hands away looked like a contortionist’s act and also looked like an ecstatic child staring at colourful toys in front of him.