The alarm of the monitoring instrument stopped abruptly as if telling Su Yunjin that something had come to an end .
Su Yunjin shook her head; she refused to accept the fact .
She couldn’t believe that Jiang Ye had left this world .
Since Jiang Ye was in lively spirits when their baby was born, she thought that he should have been getting better so that he could hear the baby call him “Dad” and see him grow up .
She wondered, “Why did he leave us?”
Su Yunjin felt a stab in her heart as if she was surrounded by the pain in a tight ring . She wept in silence and could hardly breathe, with tears falling from her eyes onto the face of the newborn baby, Shen Yuechuan . Shen Yuechuan moved his tiny limbs and suddenly burst into tears . It seemed that he knew what had happened .
Just then, the attending doctor rushed into the ward with several specialists .
The attending doctor knew that there was little hope as he looked at the patient monitoring equipment . After checking the results, he took off his glasses and looked at the nurse with a heavy heart . “The patient has no vital signs . He passed away at 5:44 p . m . on October 12th, year XXXX . ”
Su Yunjin suddenly realized that the doctor was declaring Jiang Ye dead .
She got up and grabbed the doctor’s hand like a drowning person holding on to a piece of driftwood . “Doctor, please don’t give up . Could you please save Jiang Ye? Maybe he can wake up like before! Our baby was just born . We can’t let him leave us like this…”
It took a long time for the sobbing Su Yunjin to finish those short words as she wept regardless of her image . Others were moved by her pleading eyes .
However, it was impossible to save Jiang Ye, who had no vital signs . Even the most authoritative specialists couldn’t do so .
The attending doctor patted Su Yunjin’s hand . “Miss Su, I’m sorry . Jiang Ye has left us . You have my condolences . ”
Su Yunjin didn’t want to listen to those words . She shook her head with a determined look and said, “No, doctor, there must be a way . Save him like you always do, please! I’ll pay for everything as long as you do that…”
Although the doctor had long been accustomed to deaths in the hospital, he couldn’t help feeling pity for Su Yunjin . He comforted her, “But it would be useless . Miss Su, you Chinese always say that death can’t be reversed . Jiang Ye passed away, and I’m so sorry for your loss . But you have to be strong because you need to take care of your newborn baby . ”
Su Yunjin suddenly noticed the helplessness and sympathy in the doctor’s eyes as she looked at him with a pleading look .
She realized in despair that Jiang Ye had left this world .
What was lying on the sickbed and losing its body heat was Jiang Ye’s remains, but no longer the real him .
Jiang Ye could never open his eyes to gently gaze at her again; nor could he open his arms to hold her in his arms again .
He was also unable to say, “Yunjin, I love you . ”
He had gone to a place where she couldn’t reach, even if she looked for it for the rest of her life .
Su Yunjin fell to the ground in an instant and burst into tears as if she was totally wiped out .
The attending doctor placed a handkerchief on Su Yunjin’s palm in silence, then he said to the nurse, “Go to my office and bring the two letters in the drawer here . ”
The nurse brought back the letters to the attending doctor soon after . He handed them to Su Yunjin and said, “Jiang Ye gave me two letters a few days ago . He asked me to hand them to you after he passed away . ”
Su Yunjin took the letters that Jiang Ye had left for her and opened them with trembling hands .
The letter read at the beginning: “Yunjin, I don’t want you to see this letter because if you see it, it will mean that I have left you . This is the last thing I want . ”
Su Yunjin squeezed her eyes shut but failed to hold back her tears .
It seemed that Jiang Ye had known that Su Yunjin would cry when she read the letter .
He continued: “Yunjin, don’t cry .
“The luckiest thing in my life is to meet you . But fate likes to make fun of us . I can’t grow old with you . I’m sorry for contracting the rarest form of disease in the world .
“I’ll always gaze at you in Heaven if I can do so . So Yunjin, be brave and live on—for both you and me . Promise me you’ll be happier day by day after my death . Otherwise, I’ll be worried .
“Yunjin, I wish you safety and happiness in the days without me . I hope that nothing can ever hurt you .
“Yunjin, this is my last time to write your name . I love you . ”
Su Yunjin’s tears fell and sank into the pure white writing paper, leaving a water stain on it . She held the letter against her heart and finally wailed .
Upon seeing that, the other doctors and nurses left one after another . The attending doctor placed his hand on Su Yunjin’s shoulder and said, “I feel very sorry . As a line in a movie goes, there are always lovers who can’t grow old together in this world . ”
After a long time, Su Yunjin looked up and gave him a smile through her tears . “Doctor, I’ll grow old with him in two different worlds . ”
The attending doctor was stunned . He patted Su Yunjin on the shoulder and then left the ward .
From Su Yunjin’s words, he could tell that she was strong enough to face Jiang Ye’s death .
It turned out that the attending doctor was right .
Su Yunjin suppressed her pain and calmly informed their friends of Jiang Ye’s death . She also held a memorial service for him and buried him on a good day .
All their friends tried to comfort Su Yunjin, but she simply said with forced calm, “I’ll be fine . ”
“Do you need us to take care of your baby?” One of their friends said, “Yunjin, you’re very weak, since you’ve just given birth . And you’re suffering a sharp blow . We are worried that…”
“Don’t worry . ” Su Yunjin interrupted her friend . “When Jiang Ye was sent to the ICU, I knew this day would come . I have to get through it, although it’s hard to accept the fact . My baby is the greatest support to me now . Leave him with me . We’ll be all right . ”
Both Su Yunjin and her friends thought that with determination, she could make it through . However, the reality was crueler than she had expected .
Su Hongyuan seized the opportunity to annoy Su Yunjin . He even pulled some strings and asked the hospital as well as her friends abroad to urge her to pay back the debt .
Su Yunjin had to accept the fact that Jiang Ye had passed away . She also had to take care of the newborn baby and face a huge debt at the same time .
She could bear all that . However, what made her fall apart was that she was kicked out of the apartment by the landlord when the rent was due . She had too little cash in her hand to rent even the cheapest condominium .
She could only take the baby with her and lodge with her friends .
The newborn Shen Yuechuan was too well-behaved to be a baby . He seldom cried except when he was hungry . He always slept for the whole night and most of the day . He simply opened his dark eyes and gazed at the ceiling when he was awake .
The more he acted like that, the more stressful Su Yunjin felt . She would rather the newborn baby keep crying and make her upset than staying quiet like her .
Because the more silent they were, the more she felt that she was about to explode in despair .
Su Yunjin didn’t realize that something was wrong with her until she found herself starting to hallucinate .
She always thought that Jiang Ye was still alive . Whenever she heard the door open, she would unconsciously look up with a smile and call out, “Jiang Ye . ”
However, it was her friend who had returned from work .
At midnight, she always thought that Jiang Ye was beside her or she was in his arms, with a light heart like before .
However, when she stretched out her hand to touch, she could only feel the chill in the air .
She responded happily because she thought that Jiang Ye was calling her .
However, what she got was nothing but endless emptiness .
Su Yunjin felt desperate and depressed . Finally, she slapped Shen Yuechuan, who was quietly watching the ceiling, one day . The baby glanced at her and burst into tears .
She suddenly came to her senses . She cried and held Shen Yuechuan in her arms but found it hard to calm the baby down .
Her friend returned from work and saw the two crying . She asked, “Yunjin, what’s the matter?”
Su Yunjin handed the baby to her friend and rushed into the bathroom to wash her face with cold water .
As she looked up, she saw her sallow face, messy hair, and empty eyes in the mirror…
The person in the mirror looked like a stranger; not herself .
How could a sane Su Yunjin lay a finger on a baby?
Su Yunjin told her friend what had happened and talked to another friend who majored in psychology for two hours . The friend told her with a serious look, “Yunjin, you’re suffering from depression . ”
What was worse was that Su Hongyuan called Su Yunjin at that time and asked her to return to China to visit Mr . Cui, who had always been obsessed with her .
Sure enough, Su Yunjin didn’t agree . However, Su Hongyuan had heard that she was suffering from depression . He said, “If you don’t return home, I’ll sue for custody of the child . ”
“Who do you think you are!” Su Yunjin became agitated . “I’m his mother . You have nothing to do with him!”
“You’re suffering from depression, and you’ll end your life as well as the baby’s at any time!” Su Hongyuan said with confidence, “By the way, you are penniless now! That child is my nephew . The court will award temporary custody to me if I pull strings, won’t it?”
Su Yunjin knew that Su Hongyuan would do what he said . She knew that he would send the baby to a stranger once he got custody of him because he didn’t want Mr . Cui to know that she had a child .
However, Shen Yuechuan would also be in danger at all times if he lived with her . She didn’t know when she would hit the baby harder or hit herself harder .
Even when Jiang Ye passed away, Su Yunjin didn’t feel as hopeless as she did right now .
Right now, her life and the world she saw seemed so gloomy that she repeatedly thought of death .
In the end, she decided to give up on Shen Yuechuan .
Since she couldn’t take good care of Shen Yuechuan and she could harm him at any time, in addition to Su Hongyuan, who wouldn’t do good to the child, she thought that she had to gamble . And maybe her baby would have a better life as a result .
So, as soon as she put Shen Yuechuan by the side of the road, she decided to end her life .
Therefore, she left few clues about him . She simply wrote on a note that the baby’s mother was from City A . The note also read: “Kind man, could you please take this poor baby to an orphanage?”
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