TIL. May th' frigid zone Sooner contract my sinews!
MOR. And love's grove Become an hermit's cell!
SAL. And our revels A sullen stoic dream.
PAL. And this exchange A period to our joys.
CAR. And our protests Affrighting shadows.
FLO. Or (what's worst of all) May those contents, which you expect from us, Discover our defects, and make you wish Your nuptial beds untouch'd.
ALL. May all these fall, And crush us with their grandeur.
LADIES. Be it so, And if our levity disvalue vows, Or what may most oblige us: may like censure Impeach our perish'd honours.
[_They retire._
1ST BOY. So: the match Is clapp'd already up. They need no witness.
2D BOY. Trust me, they couple handsomely, as if they had been married after th' new fashion.
1ST BOY. These need no dispensation. Fancy can act it without more ado. A mad match soon shuffled up!
2D BOY. But what shuffling would there be, if any of these wanton gossips should cry out before their time?
1ST BOY. That cry, my dainty wag, would be soon stifled. There be many ways, as I have heard my old grannam say (who had been in her youth a Paracelsian doctor's leman), to impregnate a birth, and, by secret applications o' possems[122] and cordials, not only to facilitate, but expedite, their production.
2D BOY. And what of all this?
1ST BOY. Why then, Tim, the only safe way for these gamesome macquerellas[123] is to antedate their conception before their separation. This has been an approved receipt; and, upon a long consult, found so, and returned authentic. Joy or grief produce wondrous effects in humorous[124] ladies.
2D BOY. Thou art a cunning, sifting ningle for all rogueries.
SCENE IV.
_Enter again the Ladies with their Platonic Confidants._
1ST BOY. What! so soon returned? upon my life, there's some amorous design on foot, either in displaying of the weakness of those rams'-heads whom they have deserted, or some pasquil of light mirth to ingratiate their late-entertained servants.
2D BOY. No drollery, for love sake: "Facetious fancies are the least profane."
1ST BOY. That's a precious strain of modesty, Nick: make much on't: let's fasten our attentions.
They are moving.
[BOYS _retire again_.
FLO. Dear Madam Fricase, present those scenes, Those love-attractive scenes, your noble self With these long-injur'd ladies tend'red To your prudential senate.
FRI. Sure, Florello, You much mistake them; can you call them scenes Which just complaints exhibit? True, they might,-- They might have prov'd to us, and to our honours That lay at stake, and by spectators thought Highly engag'd, nay, desperately expos'd To a judicial sentence--a decree Of fatal consequence.
CAR. But pregnant wits, Stor'd with maturest judgment, polite tongues, Calm'd an approaching storm.
PAL. Nay, made you gracious Before those rigid consuls.
SAL. For my part, I never knew a good face spoil a cause, Though th' bench were ne'er so gravely ancient: Nor ripe in years.
MOR. Beauty's a taking bait, Which each fish nibbles at: this Appius felt, A reverend sage, whom furrowed brow, loose lip, Strait line of life, a rough distemper'd cough, Aged catarrhs, a shiver'd shell turn'd earth, Where nought appear'd that might partake of man, Save a weak breathing motion: yet could he Send forth light wand'ring eyes, and court Virginia With a dull admiration: so the bard Describes his daring-doting appetite, Which he pursu'd, yet thought none durst discover: "Appius had silent tongue, but speaking eyes; Yet who says Appius loves Virginia, lies."
TIL. Not I, I vow; let age attire itself, And in that garish habit fool his soul With fruitless wishes. What's all this to me?
Pygmalion may with his incessant vows, Sweet'ned with fancy's incense, seek t'enliven Motionless marble; but such statues render Icy content. Imagination may Make th' image seem a Leda, yet the swan Retains her feature and her nature too.
Let's leave these apprehensions; they suit better With shady than essential favourites.
Good madams, second our desires; let's hear, How you were dealt withal.
FLO. Our instancy Begs so much favour.
CAR. It will cheer our spirits In the relation of your fair proceedings.
MOR. Where th' issue crown'd your suit with that success, No fates seem'd more propitious.
PAL. We must leave't; You know what longing means.
SAL. Come, who begins?
LADIES. Stay, gallants, wing not your too speedy course With such Pegasian quickness; our consent Should go along: our interests are concern'd To perfect your desires.
FLO. And we presume Your acquiescence will accomplish it.
Our mutual loves close in that harmony That, though the airs of music still admit Their closure in divisions, our joint strings, So sweetly tun'd, may run their diapason Without a discord.
FRI. By which sense we gather, That we must prove your fiddlers?
FLO. You mistake me.
We hold you instruments; your fancies, strings, To actuate our motion with that fulness Arion ne'er attain'd to.
LADIES. We must yield, Or they will storm us.
FRI. Yet let our conditions Bring them within our lists. Well, our surprise Must make you parties i' th' discovery.
ALL. For love's sake, how?
FRI. As thus: we stand at bar T' express our grievances: and you must set Grave censors or examinates to discuss The weight of our complaints.
ALL. Content; we'll do't.
LADIES. But do't exactly, or you spoil the plot.
CAR. 'Slid, doubt not, ladies, we have wit enough To frame intergotaries, so you make answer, And with your quickness do not puzzle us.
ALL. Advance, advance; let's mount, and play the consuls.