WILD. If I thought so, I would carry you out in my arms, I am so much Master Constant's friend.
PLEA. But are you more his friend than mine, Master Wild?
WILD. No; but I presume by this he has gained so much interest, as he would not be very displeasing to you.
CON. O, your humble servant, sir.
PLEA. If I had had a mind to that lodging, I had ne'er come hither; for when I have a mind to it, I'll marry without dispute, for I fear nobody so much as a husband; and when I can conquer that doubt, I'll marry at a minute's warning.
WID. No dispute now. Can you furnish us with a couple of beds?
WILD. Yes, yes.
WID. And have you e'er a woman in the house?
WILD. My sister's maid is here.
CARE. Madam, if you resolve to do us this honour, you shall find clean linen, and your beds quickly ready.
WID. But where will my nephew and you, sir, lie to-night?
CARE. O, madam, we have acquaintance enough in the town.
WID. Well, sir, we'll accept this courtesy; and when you come into Suffolk, you shall command my house.
WILD. Prythee, call Bess, and bid her bring sheets to make the bed. I'll go and fetch in a pallet, 'tis as good a bed as the other; and if you will stay the removing, we'll set up a bedstead.
PLEA. No, a pallet, pray. But what shall we do for night-clothes, aunt?
WILD. Why, what are those you bought, my sister?
WID. Is not that linen gone yet?
CARE. No, faith, madam, his man forgot it, till the carriers were gone last week.
WILD. Will that serve?
PLEA. Yes, yes, pray do us the favour to let us have it, 'tis but washing of it again.
WILD. Nay, it will serve: discourse no more; I'll fetch the bundle; and, prythee, fetch the combs and looking-glasses I bought the other day: for other necessaries that want a name the wench shall furnish you with.
WID. Nay, but where is she, nephew?
WILD. I'll call her, if she be not gone to bed. It is an ignorant young thing; I am to send her to my sister's in the country; I have had such ado to put her in the fashion.
PLEA. What country is she? Prythee, Master Wild, let's see her.
WILD. I'll call her down.
[_Exit_ WILD.
SAD. Madam, now we see y' are safe, we'll kiss your hands, and wait upon you to-morrow.
WID. It must be early then, sir, for I shall borrow my nephew's coach, and be gone betimes into the country, to take a little fresh air, and prevent the search.
CON. Pray, madam, be pleased to command ours.
WILD. No, sir, I humbly thank you; my nephew's will hold our company.
CON. Your humble servant, Mistress Pleasant.
SAD. Your servant, madam.
PLEA. Good night, Master Constant.
WID. Sir, you'll excuse us, we have nobody here to light you down.
CARE. Madam, I am here your servant as much as those who wear your livery; and this house holds no other. We can be civil, madam, as well as extravagant.
WID. Your humble servant, Master Careless.
CARE. Gentlemen, if you'll wait on my lady to her chamber, then I'll wait upon you down.
SAD. You oblige us, sir.
[_Exeunt omnes._
SCENE V.
_Enter_ WILD, CAPTAIN, WANTON, PARSON, _and_ JOLLY.
CAPT. The plague!
WILD. The plague, as I live; and all my relation is truth, every syllable. But, Mistress Wanton, now must you play your masterpiece: be sure to blush, and appear but simple enough, and all is well: thou wilt pass for as arrant a chambermaid as any in the parish.
PAR. Hum! new plots?
CAPT. Let me put on a petticoat and a muffler, and I'll so chambermaid it, and be so diligent with the clean smock and the chamber-pot.[268] Now would I give all the shoes in my shop to lie with 'em both.
WAN. Let me alone to fit them; I can make a scurvy curtsey naturally: remember, I am an Essex woman, if they ask.
WILD. Come, come quickly, take those sweetmeats; bring the great cake and knife, and napkins, for they have not supped; and, Captain, make some lemonade, and send it by the boy to my chamber; and, do you hear, Jolly, you must stay till we come, for we must lie with you to-night.
JOLLY. We'll stay, but make haste then.
CAPT. And bring our cloaks and swords out with you.