The priests continued their fervent chants. Rajji mama passed on Saridon strips as everyone with a hangover took a pill. Ananya's uncles passed copies of The Hindu to each other as they continued to gather knowledge through the wedding.
*Come, Krish,' Ananya's father said after five minutes of prayers.
*What?'
*You have to change. I am supposed to help you' he said matter-of-factly.
I had worn a new rust-colored silk kurta pajama my mother had bought for me.
*This doesn't work?' I said.
Ananya giggled. Ananya's father shook his head and stood up. I followed him to the room next to the main hall. He ominously bolted the door. *Take off your clothes,' he said.
*What?' I said as he fingered my kurta's hem to help me take it off.
*I will do it myself,' I said hastily. I removed my kurta.
*Pajama also,' he said, reminding me of my college ragging days.
*Is this necessary?' I snapped, wondering if my strip-tease would make the mantras more effective.
He didn't respond. His hands were about to reach my pajama cord when I decided to get rid of my modesty myself. I had worn a white underwear with Mickey Mouses prancing all over it.
*Why are you wearing... this?"
I had brought a pack of six Disney-themed underwear. Considering I was going to get married and Ananya like cartoon characters, I had thought she'd find it cute. Of course, I couldn't give this reason to my future father-in-law.
*How was I to know it will be on display?' I said.
Ananya's dad had worried expression.
*Why, what's wrong?' I said.
*You have to wear this veshti,' Ananya's dad said and gave to me a translucent cream-colored lungi. It resembled the bathing dress worn by Mandakini inRam Teri Ganga Maili.
*I have to wear this? How?' I held it up. The early morning rays came right through it.
*Come, I'll show you,' Ananya's dad said, and horror of horrors, tucked half his *
hand into my underwear. I wondered if a groom can sue his father-in-law for molestation.
*Please, let me try first,' I said. Of course, out of nervousness I couldn't focus. The veshti kept slipping and I stood there in my Mickey Mouse underwear, almost in tears.
*Allow me, it will take only a minute,' Ananya's father said gently, like a doctor convincing a kid for an injection.
I closed my eyes. This is the absolute last, last humiliation I will go through to get the love of my life, I thought. A few hours more and this will be over. Uncle's hand came close for comfort as he tried to ensure a snug fit. Some say this ceremony is designed to ensure that the groom has his equipment in place. Well, he surely did a good job finding out.
*Are we done?' I said as uncle adjusted the final pleats.
I saw myself in the mirror. My first topless meeting with the world was about to take place. Little Mickey Mouses were grinning through my Translucent veshti.
OK, it is only for a little while more, I told myself.
*See, now all your wedding pictures will have Mickey Mouse,' uncle said, confirming that my humiliation would continue for the rest of my life.
*Do you want to change your underwear? You can wear mine. Should we exchange? He asked.
I looked at him, wondering if he actually said what he just said. *Let's go. I have to get married.'
We came outside and my cousins burst into laughter when they saw me.
*Mickey Mouse,' my five-year-old cousin screamed, ensuring that all guests would now freely spot it.
Ananya sat in a gorgeous nine-yard dark silk sari. She wore diamond and gold necklaces. She looked like an accessible goddess.
*What's with the underwear?' she whispered to me.
*I bought it for you .... I mean us,' I said.
*Excuse me?' she said as the priest scolded us for talking and asked to focus on the prayers. Someone tied a scarf over my eyes so I couldn't see anything for ten minutes as prayers continued. It could be the punishment for talking to the bride during the wedding, but no one explained why. Prayers continued even after the scarf was removed.
*OK, now you go for Kashi Yatra,' the priest said after an hour. He gave me an umbrella and a copy of the Gita.
*What's that?' I said.
Ananya's father gave me the details. I had to stand up and announce I wasn't interested in the wedding and was going to Kashi, or Varanasi, to become a sadhu. I didn't know why they gave me an umbrella, but I had to open it and place it over my head as I walked out. Ananya's father would come after me and convince me that I should marry his daughter instead.
I decided to do an extra good job with this ceremony, especially as I had messed up with the veshti. I stood up, gave Ananya's parents a disgusted look and sprinted out of the hall. Ananya's father followed me but I walked way faster than him. I came to the main road outside the hall. I walked on to the street. An auti saw me and came near me.
*Where, where? He said, his engine still sputtering in first gear.
*Kashi,' I said.
*Kashi where?' he said.
*Varanasi, in U.P.,' I said.
*Central Station? Seventy rupees, sir,' he said.
I turned over and saw Ananya's dad twenty metres behind me. Well, you only get married once, so I decided to do the best Kashi Yatra ceremony ever.
I sat inside the auto. The auto sped off.
*Hey,' Ananya's dad screamed at full volume.
*Who's that?' the auto driver said.
*Nothing,' I said, *stop.'
I came out of the auto, Ananya's father came running to me.
*What are you doing?' he said, panting after the jog.
*Going to Kashi,' I said and smiled, *you didn't tell me when to stop.'
He grabbed my arm tight. *Come inside,' he said, dragging me towards the mandapam.
*Hey, aren't you supposed to convince me?' I said.
We had some more Tamil ceremonies. We hadMaalai Maatral, which involved an exchange of garlands like the Punjabi jaimala. However, Ananya's relatives lifted her high, making it difficult for me to reach her head. My own relatives took a while to realise that it was only a game and almost got into a fight with one of Ananya's uncles. After that, we had Oonjal where Ananya and I sat on a swing as her relatives fed us small pieces of banana soaked in milk. Finally, we came back to sit around the fire. Ananya sat on her father's lap for the final kanyadaan.
*Yes,' I whispered to myself, *it's almost over.'
Ananya and I held a coconut dipped in turmeric. Ananya's mother poured water over it. Ananya couldn't hold back her tears, sitting in her father's lap. I tied a gold necklace with a flat rectangular pendant around her neck, called the taali, in the Mangalyadharanam.
The priests told us to stand up for the Saptapathi, or the seven sacred steps.
Ananya's sari and my veshti were connected in a knot and held hands. I had felt her touch after months.
*Are you OK?' I said as she sniffed.
*You are not a girl, you won't understand,' Ananya said, and thus began a lifetime of *you won't understand' statements married men have to endure *
everyday.
I placed my feet under Ananya's feet and helped her take seven steps around fire. I slipped silver rings onto her toes.
Everyone clapped as I came back up.
*What?' I said.
*It's over, now go around the room and take blessings from everyone,' the head priest said.
I looked at Mr Swami and his wife. They were no longer Ananya's parents. They were my in-laws. I had done it. The two states had become one.
*Do namaskaram,' the priest instructed us. Ananya and I lay fully flat on the ground in front of every elder relative to bless us. It is the only wedding ritual in the world that involves a workout.
*My blessings are always with you,' my father said as he stopped us from lying down fully in front of him.
*God bless you,' Shipra masi said as I lay down in front of her, *But I'm sleepy.
Let's go back to the hotel.'
63.
*He has a speech?' I said. Ananya and I sat on regal chairs at the venue of our reception. At least this function felt familiar to my relatives as they saw food stalls in the open garden. We were at the Madras Boat Club. Coloured lights twined around the trees; the lakeside venue was a welcome change from the unpronounceable smoke-filled mandapam.
*Yeah, he wanted to do a powerpoint, but I stopped him. He even came to the hotel to show the speech to you.'
*When?' I said, *I was there only.'
*Sleeping all day,' Ananya said. *He only heard snores.'
*You didn't sleep?' I said.
*No way, we have so many out of town guests. I haven't slept for the last two days.'
*So, how do you manage to look so beautiful?' I said.
She blushed. It matched her clothes. She wore a pink lehnga with heavy gold and silver embroidery for the evening, a surprise for my relatives and a bit of shock for her own aunts. However, it was too late and Ananya was already married a to me. Screw you, Pure Harish, I thought, though I cursed myself for thinking of him at all.
*Congratulations,' some random person came to the stage to meet us and we smiled for pictures for the hundredth time.
Dinner did have North Indian choices, but the flavours were a bit off.
*They've made gobi aaloo with coconut oil,' Minti complained.
*We are all going back tomorrow,' I said. *You'll have your paranthas soon. Now don't make a face and eat ice-cream.'
*When are we cutting the cake?' one of my younger cousins said, pointing to *
the eggless cake kept in the middle of the garden. Next to the cake, there was a dais with chairs around it.
A waiter rang a hand-bell, announcing the speech and cake-cutting ceremony.
Relatives came around and sat on chairs. The Tamilians and Punjabis looked at each other. People had not come to attend the wedding, they had come to a live human museum of the other community.
*But when will the DJ start?' my cousin said.
*Patience,' I said.
Ananya and I stood next to the cake. Ananya took the mike to speak first.
*Thank you everyone for coming here. I am so grateful to all of you that you decided to share our happiness. Yes, ours is quite a different wedding, and it has taken us a while to get here, making it all the more special. I'd like my amazing father to share a few words with you.'